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Author: Lawrence Dorfman Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1510778624 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 148
Book Description
Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis Diller The Snark Handbook: Christmas Edition is destined to be a holiday classic.
Author: Lawrence Dorfman Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1510778624 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 148
Book Description
Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis Diller The Snark Handbook: Christmas Edition is destined to be a holiday classic.
Author: Lawrence Dorfman Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1634503864 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 140
Book Description
The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.” “You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.” “His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” “You fill a much-needed gap.” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.
Author: Lawrence Dorfman Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 162087525X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 140
Book Description
CLICHÉ: noun Etymology: French, literally, printer's stereotype, from past participle of clichér, to stereotype, of imitative origin Date: 1892 1 : a trite phrase or expression; also : the idea expressed by it 2 : a hackneyed theme, characterization, or situation 3 : something that has become overly familiar or commonplace In the words of Stephen Fry, “It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.” Clichés are like rationalizations: try going a week without using one. It can't be done! They are the hobgoblin of little minds. For most of us, once you begin to take notice, they are fingernails on a chalkboard. From Shakespeare to Shakira; in music, on television, at the movies; in the boardroom, on a conference call, online or in person, clichés have taken over the world. While some nitwits might say they're just misunderstood, they didn't start out that way. There was a time when they were new and vibrant, clever and pithy. Now they're just predictable—a vapid collection of much-too-familiar descriptions or metaphors that often replace smart conversation, speech, or writing. This book is a collection of the most overused phrases of all time. Hopefully, it'll make you laugh. Hopefully, it'll make them think. And at the end of the day, if the early bird catches the worm and the slow and steady win the race . . . Please . . . kill . . . me . . . now.
Author: Cider Mill Press Publisher: Dey Street Books ISBN: 1604336676 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 60
Book Description
Hilariously obnoxious Christmas cards, perfect for friends and frenemies alike With this entertaining pack of 30 offensive Christmas cards, you're armed with the perfect insults to bring holiday sneers to everyone on your naughty list Take your pick from snarky sayings ("In a few years, you'll have enough coal to heat the whole house."), biting jibes ("Oh, did you want a present? Tough sh*t."), and thinly veiled insults ("Happy Holidays, You Ho Ho Ho "). Just tear out a card, stuff it in a stocking, and let the good feelings fly
Author: Cindy Steel Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 112
Book Description
Snowed in at a cabin with the most infuriating man in the world. I may take my chances with the wolves...When my best friend found out I'd be alone over Christmas, she hooked me up with a week stay in her family's cabin in Idaho. I was on a publishing deadline for my latest book and was really looking forward to a cozy week by the fire, cuddled up in flannel pajamas with my laptop and hot chocolate. Alone. So imagine my surprise when I arrived at the cabin during a blizzard, and found it already occupied. By an all too familiar face and a fine pack of chiseled abs. Even though it had been ten years since I'd last seen Chase, he had no problem picking up exactly where we left off. I had a big problem with it.It didn't matter what he threw at me--the old nickname, the teasing, his charming grin, or even those chiseled abs (did I already mention those?), I refused to let him get to me after...the incident. Nope, not me. I was made of stone.Unfortunately, I'm beginning to understand that when you strike Chase against stone...you get sparks. Lots of them.
Author: RaeAnne Thayne Publisher: HQN Books ISBN: 036971959X Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 362
Book Description
Holiday gifts don't always come in expected packages…especially in the town of Hope's Crossing. No one has ever felt sorry for Genevieve Beaumont. After all, she has everything money can buy. That is, until she discovers her fiancé has been two-timing her and she's left with two choices: marry the philanderer to please her controlling father or be disinherited and find a means to support herself. Genevieve's salvation appears in the most unlikely of prospects: Dylan Caine, a sexy, wounded war vet whose life is as messy as hers. Dylan's struggling to adjust after his time in Afghanistan, and the last thing he needs is a spoiled socialite learning about the real world for the first time. True, she may have unexpected depths and beauty to match. But he knows he could never be the man she needs…and she knows he could never be the man she thinks she wants. So why are they each hoping that a Christmas miracle willl prove them both wrong? Hope's Crossing Book 1: Blackberry Summer Book 2: Woodrose Mountain Book 3: Sweet Laurel Falls Book 4: Currant Creek Valley Book 5: Willowleaf Lane Book 6: Christmas in Snowflake Canyon Book 7: Wild Iris Ridge
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Author: Cider Mill Press
Author: Cindy Steel
Author: 
Author: 
Author: RaeAnne Thayne