Author: Melissa Wolf
Publisher: Dog Ear Publishing
ISBN: 1457557002
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 156
Book Description
“I love the realistic, relatable, and all-encompassing content; it’s raw, it’s real, and brutally honest!” said one reviewer. “Are you sure you want to put this in print?” asked another. YES! was our unequivocal answer. We appreciate your boldness in choosing this absolutely uncensored book, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals, and we know you will find answers here! • Read about our personal experiences with physician burnout. • Explore our assessment of the real causes of burnout— beyond the traditional concepts of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and diminished sense of personal achievement. • Learn sensible, tangible, implementable, and useful solutions for conquering burnout. This book is guaranteed to spark meaningful conversations with your fellow physicians and healthcare organizations. Best of all, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals is a quick, concise read, because we understand that you are already stretched thin!
The Other Side of Burnout
Author: Melissa Wolf
Publisher: Dog Ear Publishing
ISBN: 1457557002
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 156
Book Description
“I love the realistic, relatable, and all-encompassing content; it’s raw, it’s real, and brutally honest!” said one reviewer. “Are you sure you want to put this in print?” asked another. YES! was our unequivocal answer. We appreciate your boldness in choosing this absolutely uncensored book, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals, and we know you will find answers here! • Read about our personal experiences with physician burnout. • Explore our assessment of the real causes of burnout— beyond the traditional concepts of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and diminished sense of personal achievement. • Learn sensible, tangible, implementable, and useful solutions for conquering burnout. This book is guaranteed to spark meaningful conversations with your fellow physicians and healthcare organizations. Best of all, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals is a quick, concise read, because we understand that you are already stretched thin!
Publisher: Dog Ear Publishing
ISBN: 1457557002
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 156
Book Description
“I love the realistic, relatable, and all-encompassing content; it’s raw, it’s real, and brutally honest!” said one reviewer. “Are you sure you want to put this in print?” asked another. YES! was our unequivocal answer. We appreciate your boldness in choosing this absolutely uncensored book, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals, and we know you will find answers here! • Read about our personal experiences with physician burnout. • Explore our assessment of the real causes of burnout— beyond the traditional concepts of emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and diminished sense of personal achievement. • Learn sensible, tangible, implementable, and useful solutions for conquering burnout. This book is guaranteed to spark meaningful conversations with your fellow physicians and healthcare organizations. Best of all, The Other Side of Burnout: Solutions for Healthcare Professionals is a quick, concise read, because we understand that you are already stretched thin!
The End of Burnout
Author: Jonathan Malesic
Publisher: Univ of California Press
ISBN: 0520391527
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 285
Book Description
Going beyond the how and why of burnout, a former tenured professor combines academic methods and first-person experience to propose new ways for resisting our cultural obsession with work and transforming our vision of human flourishing. Burnout has become our go-to term for talking about the pressure and dissatisfaction we experience at work. But in the absence of understanding what burnout means, the discourse often does little to help workers who suffer from exhaustion and despair. Jonathan Malesic was a burned out worker who escaped by quitting his job as a tenured professor. In The End of Burnout, he dives into the history and psychology of burnout, traces the origin of the high ideals we bring to our jobs, and profiles the individuals and communities who are already resisting our cultural commitment to constant work. In The End of Burnout, Malesic traces his own history as someone who burned out of a tenured job to frame this rigorous investigation of how and why so many of us feel worn out, alienated, and useless in our work. Through research on the science, culture, and philosophy of burnout, Malesic explores the gap between our vocation and our jobs, and between the ideals we have for work and the reality of what we have to do. He eschews the usual prevailing wisdom in confronting burnout (“Learn to say no!” “Practice mindfulness!”) to examine how our jobs have been constructed as a symbol of our value and our total identity. Beyond looking at what drives burnout—unfairness, a lack of autonomy, a breakdown of community, mismatches of values—this book spotlights groups that are addressing these failures of ethics. We can look to communities of monks, employees of a Dallas nonprofit, intense hobbyists, and artists with disabilities to see the possibilities for resisting a “total work” environment and the paths to recognizing the dignity of workers and nonworkers alike. In this critical yet deeply humane book, Malesic offers the vocabulary we need to recognize burnout, overcome burnout culture, and acknowledge the dignity of workers and nonworkers alike.
Publisher: Univ of California Press
ISBN: 0520391527
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 285
Book Description
Going beyond the how and why of burnout, a former tenured professor combines academic methods and first-person experience to propose new ways for resisting our cultural obsession with work and transforming our vision of human flourishing. Burnout has become our go-to term for talking about the pressure and dissatisfaction we experience at work. But in the absence of understanding what burnout means, the discourse often does little to help workers who suffer from exhaustion and despair. Jonathan Malesic was a burned out worker who escaped by quitting his job as a tenured professor. In The End of Burnout, he dives into the history and psychology of burnout, traces the origin of the high ideals we bring to our jobs, and profiles the individuals and communities who are already resisting our cultural commitment to constant work. In The End of Burnout, Malesic traces his own history as someone who burned out of a tenured job to frame this rigorous investigation of how and why so many of us feel worn out, alienated, and useless in our work. Through research on the science, culture, and philosophy of burnout, Malesic explores the gap between our vocation and our jobs, and between the ideals we have for work and the reality of what we have to do. He eschews the usual prevailing wisdom in confronting burnout (“Learn to say no!” “Practice mindfulness!”) to examine how our jobs have been constructed as a symbol of our value and our total identity. Beyond looking at what drives burnout—unfairness, a lack of autonomy, a breakdown of community, mismatches of values—this book spotlights groups that are addressing these failures of ethics. We can look to communities of monks, employees of a Dallas nonprofit, intense hobbyists, and artists with disabilities to see the possibilities for resisting a “total work” environment and the paths to recognizing the dignity of workers and nonworkers alike. In this critical yet deeply humane book, Malesic offers the vocabulary we need to recognize burnout, overcome burnout culture, and acknowledge the dignity of workers and nonworkers alike.
Breaking Out of Burnout
Author: Rex Baker
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781733530804
Category : Burn out (Psychology)
Languages : en
Pages : 134
Book Description
Breaking out of Burnout gifts readers the tools required to replace career burnout with new energy and purpose. The book’s personal, hands-on material will show you how to change your life with intuition and come out the other side of occupational burnout successfully.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781733530804
Category : Burn out (Psychology)
Languages : en
Pages : 134
Book Description
Breaking out of Burnout gifts readers the tools required to replace career burnout with new energy and purpose. The book’s personal, hands-on material will show you how to change your life with intuition and come out the other side of occupational burnout successfully.
Slack
Author: Tom DeMarco
Publisher: Crown Currency
ISBN: 0767907698
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 256
Book Description
If your company’s goal is to become fast, responsive, and agile, more efficiency is not the answer--you need more slack. Why is it that today’s superefficient organizations are ailing? Tom DeMarco, a leading management consultant to both Fortune 500 and up-and-coming companies, reveals a counterintuitive principle that explains why efficiency efforts can slow a company down. That principle is the value of slack, the degree of freedom in a company that allows it to change. Implementing slack could be as simple as adding an assistant to a department and letting high-priced talent spend less time at the photocopier and more time making key decisions, or it could mean designing workloads that allow people room to think, innovate, and reinvent themselves. It means embracing risk, eliminating fear, and knowing when to go slow. Slack allows for change, fosters creativity, promotes quality, and, above all, produces growth. With an approach that works for new- and old-economy companies alike, this revolutionary handbook debunks commonly held assumptions about real-world management, and gives you and your company a brand-new model for achieving and maintaining true effectiveness.
Publisher: Crown Currency
ISBN: 0767907698
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 256
Book Description
If your company’s goal is to become fast, responsive, and agile, more efficiency is not the answer--you need more slack. Why is it that today’s superefficient organizations are ailing? Tom DeMarco, a leading management consultant to both Fortune 500 and up-and-coming companies, reveals a counterintuitive principle that explains why efficiency efforts can slow a company down. That principle is the value of slack, the degree of freedom in a company that allows it to change. Implementing slack could be as simple as adding an assistant to a department and letting high-priced talent spend less time at the photocopier and more time making key decisions, or it could mean designing workloads that allow people room to think, innovate, and reinvent themselves. It means embracing risk, eliminating fear, and knowing when to go slow. Slack allows for change, fosters creativity, promotes quality, and, above all, produces growth. With an approach that works for new- and old-economy companies alike, this revolutionary handbook debunks commonly held assumptions about real-world management, and gives you and your company a brand-new model for achieving and maintaining true effectiveness.
Taking Action Against Clinician Burnout
Author: National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine
Publisher: National Academies Press
ISBN: 0309495474
Category : Medical
Languages : en
Pages : 335
Book Description
Patient-centered, high-quality health care relies on the well-being, health, and safety of health care clinicians. However, alarmingly high rates of clinician burnout in the United States are detrimental to the quality of care being provided, harmful to individuals in the workforce, and costly. It is important to take a systemic approach to address burnout that focuses on the structure, organization, and culture of health care. Taking Action Against Clinician Burnout: A Systems Approach to Professional Well-Being builds upon two groundbreaking reports from the past twenty years, To Err Is Human: Building a Safer Health System and Crossing the Quality Chasm: A New Health System for the 21st Century, which both called attention to the issues around patient safety and quality of care. This report explores the extent, consequences, and contributing factors of clinician burnout and provides a framework for a systems approach to clinician burnout and professional well-being, a research agenda to advance clinician well-being, and recommendations for the field.
Publisher: National Academies Press
ISBN: 0309495474
Category : Medical
Languages : en
Pages : 335
Book Description
Patient-centered, high-quality health care relies on the well-being, health, and safety of health care clinicians. However, alarmingly high rates of clinician burnout in the United States are detrimental to the quality of care being provided, harmful to individuals in the workforce, and costly. It is important to take a systemic approach to address burnout that focuses on the structure, organization, and culture of health care. Taking Action Against Clinician Burnout: A Systems Approach to Professional Well-Being builds upon two groundbreaking reports from the past twenty years, To Err Is Human: Building a Safer Health System and Crossing the Quality Chasm: A New Health System for the 21st Century, which both called attention to the issues around patient safety and quality of care. This report explores the extent, consequences, and contributing factors of clinician burnout and provides a framework for a systems approach to clinician burnout and professional well-being, a research agenda to advance clinician well-being, and recommendations for the field.
Burnout
Author: Emily Nagoski, PhD
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 198481706X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 305
Book Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game changer.”—Brené Brown, PhD, author of Dare to Lead “A primer on how to stop letting the world dictate how you live and what we think of ourselves, Burnout is essential reading [and] . . . excels in its intersectionality.”—Bustle This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a roadmap to minimizing stress, managing emotions, and living more joyfully. Burnout. You, like most American women, have probably experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to exist as a woman in today’s world are two different things—and we exhaust ourselves trying to close the gap. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the all-too-familiar cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. They compassionately explain the obstacles and societal pressures we face—and how we can fight back. You’ll learn • what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle • how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration • how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it • why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering from and preventing burnout With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in Burnout—and will be empowered to create positive change. A BOOKRIOT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 198481706X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 305
Book Description
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “This book is a gift! I’ve been practicing their strategies, and it’s a total game changer.”—Brené Brown, PhD, author of Dare to Lead “A primer on how to stop letting the world dictate how you live and what we think of ourselves, Burnout is essential reading [and] . . . excels in its intersectionality.”—Bustle This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a roadmap to minimizing stress, managing emotions, and living more joyfully. Burnout. You, like most American women, have probably experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to exist as a woman in today’s world are two different things—and we exhaust ourselves trying to close the gap. Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the all-too-familiar cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. They compassionately explain the obstacles and societal pressures we face—and how we can fight back. You’ll learn • what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle • how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration • how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it • why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering from and preventing burnout With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in Burnout—and will be empowered to create positive change. A BOOKRIOT BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
Tired as F*ck
Author: Caroline Dooner
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063052997
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 278
Book Description
Blending memoir and blistering social observations, the author of The F*ck It Diet looks back at her desperate attempts to heal her hunger, anxiety, and imperfections through extreme diets, culty self-help methods, and melodramatic bargains with the universe. Offering a frank and funny critique of the cultural forces that are driving us mad, Caroline Dooner examines how treating ourselves like never ending self-improvement projects is a recipe for burnout. We have become unknowingly complicit in perpetuating our own exhaustion because we are treating ourselves like machines. But even phones need to f*cking recharge. Caroline takes a good hard look at the dark side of self-help, and explains how she eventually used a radical period of rest to push back against cultural expectations and reclaim some peace. Tired As F*ck empowers us to say no to the things that exhaust us. It inspires us to carve out time to slow down, feel okay about doing less, and honor our humanity. This is not a self-help book, it’s a cautionary tale. It’s an honest look at the dogma of wellness and spiritual self-improvement culture and revels in the healing power of rest and letting shit go.
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0063052997
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 278
Book Description
Blending memoir and blistering social observations, the author of The F*ck It Diet looks back at her desperate attempts to heal her hunger, anxiety, and imperfections through extreme diets, culty self-help methods, and melodramatic bargains with the universe. Offering a frank and funny critique of the cultural forces that are driving us mad, Caroline Dooner examines how treating ourselves like never ending self-improvement projects is a recipe for burnout. We have become unknowingly complicit in perpetuating our own exhaustion because we are treating ourselves like machines. But even phones need to f*cking recharge. Caroline takes a good hard look at the dark side of self-help, and explains how she eventually used a radical period of rest to push back against cultural expectations and reclaim some peace. Tired As F*ck empowers us to say no to the things that exhaust us. It inspires us to carve out time to slow down, feel okay about doing less, and honor our humanity. This is not a self-help book, it’s a cautionary tale. It’s an honest look at the dogma of wellness and spiritual self-improvement culture and revels in the healing power of rest and letting shit go.
From Burnout to Balance
Author: Patricia Bannan
Publisher: Rodale Books
ISBN: 0593232437
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 439
Book Description
A complete food and wellness guide for women featuring 60+ recipes specifically designed to combat stress, anxiety, depression, and fatigue and improve mood, focus, immunity, and sleep. Prevention’s #1 Best New Healthy Cookbook For 2022 • “If you feel burned out, Patricia Bannan gets you and dishes up totally realistic solutions with humor, compassion, and expertise in the kitchen and beyond.”—Ellie Krieger, RD, New York Times bestselling author of Whole in One We’ve all had those days when we’re just trying to hold it all together. But when “one of those days” turns into weeks, then months, then longer, you start to feel like you’re drowning. Your immune system goes haywire, your sleep schedule goes out the window, and your brain feels like it’s turning to mush. You know that something has to change, but when you’re spending all your energy just trying to keep your head above water, change feels impossible. If this sounds like you, From Burnout to Balance is here to be your life preserver. Patricia Bannan, MS, RDN, has been where you are now and knows how to break the cycle. She offers: • the science behind burnout • compassion, stories, support, and guidance to break the cycle • tips and shortcuts to make your life easier • week-long meal plans for each symptom • more than 60 delicious recipes that combine the vital nutrients your body needs to combat burnout If spending time and energy on meal plans and cooking sounds like the last thing you want to do, know that the recipes are designed for simplicity and the book is packed with tips and shortcuts to make your life easier. Recipes include vegan, one-dish, kid-friendly, freezable, and 15-minutes or less options, and time-saving tricks like “Nearly No-Cook” meals will get nourishing food on the table with nothing more than some savvy pantry picks. From gut health to mental health, there are no strict rules to follow—just a guiding hand reaching out to help bring balance back into your life.
Publisher: Rodale Books
ISBN: 0593232437
Category : Cooking
Languages : en
Pages : 439
Book Description
A complete food and wellness guide for women featuring 60+ recipes specifically designed to combat stress, anxiety, depression, and fatigue and improve mood, focus, immunity, and sleep. Prevention’s #1 Best New Healthy Cookbook For 2022 • “If you feel burned out, Patricia Bannan gets you and dishes up totally realistic solutions with humor, compassion, and expertise in the kitchen and beyond.”—Ellie Krieger, RD, New York Times bestselling author of Whole in One We’ve all had those days when we’re just trying to hold it all together. But when “one of those days” turns into weeks, then months, then longer, you start to feel like you’re drowning. Your immune system goes haywire, your sleep schedule goes out the window, and your brain feels like it’s turning to mush. You know that something has to change, but when you’re spending all your energy just trying to keep your head above water, change feels impossible. If this sounds like you, From Burnout to Balance is here to be your life preserver. Patricia Bannan, MS, RDN, has been where you are now and knows how to break the cycle. She offers: • the science behind burnout • compassion, stories, support, and guidance to break the cycle • tips and shortcuts to make your life easier • week-long meal plans for each symptom • more than 60 delicious recipes that combine the vital nutrients your body needs to combat burnout If spending time and energy on meal plans and cooking sounds like the last thing you want to do, know that the recipes are designed for simplicity and the book is packed with tips and shortcuts to make your life easier. Recipes include vegan, one-dish, kid-friendly, freezable, and 15-minutes or less options, and time-saving tricks like “Nearly No-Cook” meals will get nourishing food on the table with nothing more than some savvy pantry picks. From gut health to mental health, there are no strict rules to follow—just a guiding hand reaching out to help bring balance back into your life.
Suffer from Burnout? Give'em the F.I.N.G.E.R.!
Author: Mark Yarbrough
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780985671037
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 94
Book Description
Millions of people suffer from Burnout each year. Most books regarding the subject are written by mental health professionals from a diagnostic standpoint. "Suffer from BURNOUT? Give'em the F.I.N.G.E.R. " is different. It is written from the prospective of someone who actually suffered from this debilitating ailment. The author, Mark Yarbrough, was serving as an elected District Attorney when he suffered from Burnout. In an easy-to-read, first-hand account, Mark tells the readers what caused his Burnout. More importantly, Mark shares his F.I.N.G.E.R. philosophy that he used to overcome his Burnout. If you or someone you know and love are suffering from Burnout, this book is a must read.
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780985671037
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 94
Book Description
Millions of people suffer from Burnout each year. Most books regarding the subject are written by mental health professionals from a diagnostic standpoint. "Suffer from BURNOUT? Give'em the F.I.N.G.E.R. " is different. It is written from the prospective of someone who actually suffered from this debilitating ailment. The author, Mark Yarbrough, was serving as an elected District Attorney when he suffered from Burnout. In an easy-to-read, first-hand account, Mark tells the readers what caused his Burnout. More importantly, Mark shares his F.I.N.G.E.R. philosophy that he used to overcome his Burnout. If you or someone you know and love are suffering from Burnout, this book is a must read.
The Other Side of Normal
Author: F. Michael Horn
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1462823114
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 144
Book Description
This work is an outgrowth of two profound life experiences. One took place in graduate school, preparing for a career as a clinical psychologist. One professor, well into middle age, began pontificating on homosexuality. Without hesitation he made a pronouncement which was delivered as the final immutable truth on the subject: Men do NOT love one another. It was delivered with a finality of conviction, of ultimate judgment. I wondered how he knew; how he could be so sure; what had given him the right to speak so authoritatively on a matter he in all likelihood had never experienced nor ever would. It struck me as the ultimate arrogance. That was 1980. The second experience was the ever popular enquiry: What do homosexuals do with each other? This question is rarely one of innocent curiosity but rather one of disbelief, incredulity, distaste, disgust, even thinly disguised contempt. Both these early experiences impressed me as a powerful negation of our core essence as gay men in the world. It seemed incredible that who we are should be dismissed with a wave of the hand, as if the gay experience is of no consequence whatsoever, a mere pock mark on otherwise unblemished skin. Even nineteenth century Victorians were never so cavalier about [hetero] sexuality. Few, if any of us, growing up in heterosexual society, avoid the experience of being wholly dismissed in this way, as if our very existence is irrelevant, perhaps should never have been. This is profoundly corrosive of our core sense of human integrity. An ineradicable message is implanted: that of deviate, defective, unworthy, condemned. This unavoidably etches a deep experience of shame within us all. Over the years, with maturity, we slowly come to terms with who we are, always at a price. What do homosexuals do with each other? The fulcrum of the question is on the do-ing. It completely ignores the be-ing; what does a gay man feel about men? How are such feelings distinct from those felt by heterosexual men for other men? The feelings we hold for one another are rarely of concern to the hetero. It just doesn't get asked. Curiosity stops here. It seems a discussion that prefers to be shunned. Bringing it up evokes fear and discomfort and embarrasment, even shame. We are cued into silence. It is a silence which intrudes into our shared moments of intimacy with other men. Unaware of our shame, we prefer instead to utter the body language of sex, giving voice to the feeling within, through the do-ing. Sex often serves an unwitting purpose of helping us avoid our feelings. What we take to bed with us is the commonplace heterosexual male model of using sex to spare us the whole range in feelings which naturally arise with intimacy between human beings. In their case, however, the female presence helps balance out this inclination. Healthy women are active seekers of intimacy and feeling expression. As gay men we are required to find this balance within ourselves. It wasn't so very long ago that, not only did we not have the right to have sex with one another; we didn't even have the right to be in one another's company. Meeting one another socially, in public places or private gathering was fraught with risk. In almost any gay bar or restuarant, entrapment by the vice squad was a very real threat. The accusation was tantamount to the conviction, particularly as to employers, authority figures, parents, family, community. This was a de-facto suspension of civil rights: freedom of assembly; freedom of association; freedom from harassment; threat, coercion, intimidation, habeas corpus, rights to privacy, and so on. Our lives were dismissed out of hand. Like the Jews in 1940's Europe, our very existence was taken from us. Like theirs, our very livelihood was at stake. We were relegated to the fringes of society, forced to live in shame and in secrecy. Certainly this did not provide a conducive atmosphere for
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1462823114
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 144
Book Description
This work is an outgrowth of two profound life experiences. One took place in graduate school, preparing for a career as a clinical psychologist. One professor, well into middle age, began pontificating on homosexuality. Without hesitation he made a pronouncement which was delivered as the final immutable truth on the subject: Men do NOT love one another. It was delivered with a finality of conviction, of ultimate judgment. I wondered how he knew; how he could be so sure; what had given him the right to speak so authoritatively on a matter he in all likelihood had never experienced nor ever would. It struck me as the ultimate arrogance. That was 1980. The second experience was the ever popular enquiry: What do homosexuals do with each other? This question is rarely one of innocent curiosity but rather one of disbelief, incredulity, distaste, disgust, even thinly disguised contempt. Both these early experiences impressed me as a powerful negation of our core essence as gay men in the world. It seemed incredible that who we are should be dismissed with a wave of the hand, as if the gay experience is of no consequence whatsoever, a mere pock mark on otherwise unblemished skin. Even nineteenth century Victorians were never so cavalier about [hetero] sexuality. Few, if any of us, growing up in heterosexual society, avoid the experience of being wholly dismissed in this way, as if our very existence is irrelevant, perhaps should never have been. This is profoundly corrosive of our core sense of human integrity. An ineradicable message is implanted: that of deviate, defective, unworthy, condemned. This unavoidably etches a deep experience of shame within us all. Over the years, with maturity, we slowly come to terms with who we are, always at a price. What do homosexuals do with each other? The fulcrum of the question is on the do-ing. It completely ignores the be-ing; what does a gay man feel about men? How are such feelings distinct from those felt by heterosexual men for other men? The feelings we hold for one another are rarely of concern to the hetero. It just doesn't get asked. Curiosity stops here. It seems a discussion that prefers to be shunned. Bringing it up evokes fear and discomfort and embarrasment, even shame. We are cued into silence. It is a silence which intrudes into our shared moments of intimacy with other men. Unaware of our shame, we prefer instead to utter the body language of sex, giving voice to the feeling within, through the do-ing. Sex often serves an unwitting purpose of helping us avoid our feelings. What we take to bed with us is the commonplace heterosexual male model of using sex to spare us the whole range in feelings which naturally arise with intimacy between human beings. In their case, however, the female presence helps balance out this inclination. Healthy women are active seekers of intimacy and feeling expression. As gay men we are required to find this balance within ourselves. It wasn't so very long ago that, not only did we not have the right to have sex with one another; we didn't even have the right to be in one another's company. Meeting one another socially, in public places or private gathering was fraught with risk. In almost any gay bar or restuarant, entrapment by the vice squad was a very real threat. The accusation was tantamount to the conviction, particularly as to employers, authority figures, parents, family, community. This was a de-facto suspension of civil rights: freedom of assembly; freedom of association; freedom from harassment; threat, coercion, intimidation, habeas corpus, rights to privacy, and so on. Our lives were dismissed out of hand. Like the Jews in 1940's Europe, our very existence was taken from us. Like theirs, our very livelihood was at stake. We were relegated to the fringes of society, forced to live in shame and in secrecy. Certainly this did not provide a conducive atmosphere for