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Author: Addie Johnson Publisher: Conari Press ISBN: 9781573243131 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 164
Book Description
Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.
Author: Addie Johnson Publisher: Conari Press ISBN: 9781573243131 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 164
Book Description
Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it's easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn't do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: "Fake Don't Flake." In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons--grandma's birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. "Excusez-Moi, si'l vous plait" is where to look when you're caught wearing a halter top to a black tie event. Or forget your boss's spouse's name--again. Or don't want to pick up the tab. The French have a word for everything. If you need to learn how to say "I'd Love to, but"--the art of articulating just why you can't do most anything you don't want to do--in any language, this is the book for you. Demonstrate your incompetence. When someone asks you to bring those complicated hors d'oeuvres, show up half an hour late with half the ingredients. Bonus section here: how to get someone else to do all the work while you still get the credit. "Delivery Subsystem Failure--Mailboxes, Messages, Missives Gone Awry, Oh My!" Never, ever again will you want for an excuse for not writing, calling, IMing, or emailing. Fake communication breakdowns make fail-safe excuses for a myriad of don't wannas and didn't do its. "All's Fair in Love" contains excuses for not calling, not going on the second date, forgetting the birthday or anniversary of the one you love. Plus how to retreat with remorse, even from the altar steps. Hint: You could have your mother or your manager phone it in. That's what Julia Roberts did. * Hundreds of excuses for thousands of situations, plus "The Excuse Clinic: How to Make Lame Excuses Walk and Okay Excuses Sing." * Life is serious business, people, so pay attention. Let Addie help you off the hook.
Author: Jasmine Birtles Publisher: Boxtree ISBN: 9780752261546 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 128
Book Description
Ever been caught with your trousers down (literally or metaphorically) and needed a good excuse? Look no further, A Little Book of Excuses will have excuses to cover every situation: 'I can't come in to work today because I'm stalking my ex-boss who fired me for not showing up for work.' 'I've used up all my sick days... so I'm calling in dead.' 'She meant nothing to me.... other than a night of wild passion that i will remember to the end of my days and against which i will measure all other women.'
Author: Kaz Cooke Publisher: Penguin Global ISBN: 9780143001676 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
If you're in need of a day off, an alibi, a massive governmental cover-up, a reason not to see your nanna when you've got a love bite, or you simply want an excuse to behave badly, then this is the book for you! Forget the hairy old 'dog ate my homework' - you need a bunch of all-new all-purpose excuses- I am currently the object of a large land, air and sea search The batteries in my magic wand wore out My pants are on fire
Author: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer Publisher: Hay House, Inc ISBN: 140196253X Category : Juvenile Nonfiction Languages : en Pages : 32
Book Description
In his fourth book for children, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer focuses on the topic of excuses and how they can do more harm than we realize. The book demonstrates how excuses go far beyond "my dog ate my homework," and can actually become words that prevent your child from reaching his or her potential.The book follows a boy with a seemingly impossible dream who almost lets excuses ("I’m not smart enough" . . . "It’s too hard," and so on) get in his way.He discovers, as will your child, that by following a few simple ideas and eliminating excuses . . . anything is possible!
Author: J. Larry Simpson I Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc. ISBN: 1646545656 Category : Biography & Autobiography Languages : en Pages : 304
Book Description
“No Excuses” is the true story of a boy traveling across America with his family and their fifty-foot-long trailer full of adventures in the 1950’s. Going to fifteen schools, in ten states, and twenty-four moves, Larry ventured his life from adventure to adventure. From the ‘Muscadine highway,’ to ‘the runaway tractor’ the trailer boy lived thrilling escapades. You will become a part of this soul stirring journey from Gallatin to the Mojave Desert or dancing at the Black Hawk Grill. The author bids you to join him in the ‘53 Ford, descending the wicked Sitgreaves Pass pushed by the sixteen thousand pounds of the Simpson’s home on wheels. Travel with the ‘kid’ as he makes his own and others’ lives a ‘gala affair’. High thrilling adventure awaits you with joy and tears from this one blessed life. The trailer boy’s inspiring story will move you to live your only life fully without excuses.
Author: Noah Galloway Publisher: Center Street ISBN: 1455596922 Category : Biography & Autobiography Languages : en Pages : 272
Book Description
Military hero and beloved Dancing with the Stars alum Noah Galloway shares his life story, and how losing his arm and leg in combat forced him to relearn how to live--and live to the fullest. Inspirational, humorous, and thought provoking, Noah Galloway's LIVING WITH NO EXCUSES sheds light on his upbringing in rural Alabama, his military experience, and the battle he faced to overcome losing two limbs during Operation Iraqi Freedom. From reliving the early days of life to his acceptance of his "new normal" after losing his arm and leg in combat, Noah reveals his ambition to succeed against all odds. Noah's gripping story is a shining example that with laughter, and the right amount of perspective, you can tackle anything. Whether it be overcoming injury, conquering the Dancing with the Stars ballroom, or taking the next steps forward in life with his young family - Noah demonstrates how to live life to the fullest, with no excuses.
Author: Jim Davis Publisher: Turtleback Books ISBN: 9780606186643 Category : Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Late for school? Didn't do your homework? Need a bigger allowance? Don't want to clean your room? Garfield helps children explain all this and more in the newest humor book staring America's favorite fat cat. BandW illustrations.
Author: Craig Boldman Publisher: ISBN: 9780836251951 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 292
Book Description
This compendium offers every excuse for every occasion, such as: It was the alien experiment. I haven't been the same since Elvis died. My inner child made me do it. All excuses are illustrated.
Author: Addie Johnson
Author: Addie Johnson
Author: Jasmine Birtles
Author: Kaz Cooke
Author: Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
Author: Holly Kowitt
Author: J. Larry Simpson I
Author: Brian Tracy
Author: Noah Galloway
Author: Jim Davis
Author: Craig Boldman