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Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations PDF Author: Ned Sherrin
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN: 0199237166
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 574

Book Description
This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview

Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations

Oxford Dictionary of Humorous Quotations PDF Author: Ned Sherrin
Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA
ISBN: 0199237166
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 574

Book Description
This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview

A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue

A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue PDF Author: Captain Francis Grose
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1797203436
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 177

Book Description
A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue is a profane guide to the slang from the backstreets and taverns of 18th-century London. This slang dictionary gathers the most amusing and useful terms from English history and helpfully presents them to be used in the conversations of our modern day. Originally published in 1785, the Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue was one of the first lexicons of English slang, compiled by a militia captain who collected the terms he overheard on his late-night excursions to London's slums, dockyards, and taverns. Now the legacy lives on in this colorful pocket dictionary. • Learn the origin of phrases like "birthday suit" and discover slang lost to time. • An unexpected marriage of lowbrow humor and highbrow wit Discover long lost antique slang and curse words and learn how to incorporate them into modern conversation. A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue is perfect for enlivening contemporary conversation with historical phrases; it includes a topical list of words for money, drunkenness, the amorous congress, male and female naughty bits, and so on. • A funny book for wordplay, language, swearing, and insult fans, as well as fans of British humor and culture • Perfect for those who loved How to Speak Brit: The Quintessential Guide to the King's English, Cockney Slang, and Other Flummoxing British Phrases by Christopher J. Moore; Knickers in a Twist: A Dictionary of British Slang by Jonathan Bernstein; and The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm by James Napoli

The Devil’s Dictionary

The Devil’s Dictionary PDF Author: Ambrose Bierce
Publisher: Standard Ebooks
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 341

Book Description
“Dictionary, n: A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.” Bierce’s groundbreaking Devil’s Dictionary had a complex publication history. Started in the mid-1800s as an irregular column in Californian newspapers under various titles, he gradually refined the new-at-the-time idea of an irreverent set of glossary-like definitions. The final name, as we see it titled in this work, did not appear until an 1881 column published in the periodical The San Francisco Illustrated Wasp. There were no publications of the complete glossary in the 1800s. Not until 1906 did a portion of Bierce’s collection get published by Doubleday, under the name The Cynic’s Word Book—the publisher not wanting to use the word “Devil” in the title, to the great disappointment of the author. The 1906 word book only went from A to L, however, and the remainder was never released under the compromised title. In 1911 the Devil’s Dictionary as we know it was published in complete form as part of Bierce’s collected works (volume 7 of 12), including the remainder of the definitions from M to Z. It has been republished a number of times, including more recent efforts where older definitions from his columns that never made it into the original book were included. Due to the complex nature of copyright, some of those found definitions have unclear public domain status and were not included. This edition of the book includes, however, a set of definitions attributed to his one-and-only “Demon’s Dictionary” column, including Bierce’s classic definition of A: “the first letter in every properly constructed alphabet.” Bierce enjoyed “quoting” his pseudonyms in his work. Most of the poetry, dramatic scenes and stories in this book attributed to others were self-authored and do not exist outside of this work. This includes the prolific Father Gassalasca Jape, whom he thanks in the preface—“jape” of course having the definition: “a practical joke.” This book is a product of its time and must be approached as such. Many of the definitions hold up well today, but some might be considered less palatable by modern readers. Regardless, the book’s humorous style is a valuable snapshot of American culture from past centuries. This book is part of the Standard Ebooks project, which produces free public domain ebooks.

Urban Dictionary: Fularious Street Slang Defined

Urban Dictionary: Fularious Street Slang Defined PDF Author:
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792148
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
The creator of Urban Dictionary shares a compendium of the site’s funniest, weirdest, and truest entries. Since 1999, UrbanDictionary.com has become the undisputed authority on contemporary slang. The site’s creator, Aaron Peckham, invites its ever-expanding fanbase to submit new words and definitions. For Urban Dictionary: Fularious Street Slang Defined, Peckham has curated a choice selection of terms that will definitely earn you street cred, and help newbies avoid confusing shank with skank.

Kid Dictionary

Kid Dictionary PDF Author: Eric Ruhalter
Publisher: Sourcebooks, Inc.
ISBN: 1402264674
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
Wishjack: (WISH—jak) v: To blow out the candles on another child's birthday cake. Been a kid? Have a kid? Know a kid? Been left utterly speechless by the wit, wisdom, grossness, and hilarity that accompanies children wherever they go? The Kid Dictionary has the ingenious and hilarious words you need to describe the indescribable: life with kids. Humorous, insightful, and unique, it's perfect for anyone with kids even remotely in their life — from expectant parents to grandparents to aunts and uncles. Finally, the pitch-perfect "why didn't I think of that?" words you've always needed! Brofitti: (broh-FEE-tee) v: The act of scribbling with permanent marker on the face of a younger sibling. Clandesdine: (klan-DES-dyne) v: To hide from one's child while eating a cookie so he doesn't ask for one too.

My First Dictionary

My First Dictionary PDF Author: Ross Horsley
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062065688
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 170

Book Description
Hello, boys and girls, and welcome to the wonderful world of words! You've learned the basics—from apple to zebra—but what about all those mysterious new terms you've heard the grown-ups whispering when you were supposed to be tucked up snugly in bed? What makes Mommy so bitter? Where does Daddy conceal the door to his secret S&M dungeon? And why is everyone laughing about Grandma's latest delusion? My First Dictionary answers these questions, and includes many other useful definitions, such as: A burden is a source of worry or stress. Old people are usually burdens. Father is nostalgic. He is remembering the happier times before you were born. A puppy is a young dog. Connie gets a puppy every time she agrees not to tell. Daddy calls them hush puppies. A zigzag is a jagged line. We can tell that Mother has been drinking when she drives in a zigzag pattern. Carry a copy of My First Dictionary in your schoolbag and you'll never be at a loss for words again!

The Boston Handbook

The Boston Handbook PDF Author: John Powers
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 132

Book Description
Humorous examination of Boston curiosities from geography to politics to driving habits to weather.

The Insult Dictionary

The Insult Dictionary PDF Author: Julie Tibbott
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1621450678
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 310

Book Description
Do you long for the days when a jerk was a “cad”? Want to tell that “swillbelly” to clean up his table manners and that grumbling “glump” to stop whining? Would you like a way of saying simpleton that’s not quite so simple—“ninnyhammer,” perhaps? All this nastiness and more can be found in the pages of this fun reference book. With insults ranging from Roman times (lutum lenonium = filthy pimp) and Shakespearean snipes (I’m talking to you, you knotty-pated fool) to salty pirate-speak and Wild West zingers, you’re sure to find an insult for everyone, be they a helminth (a parasite in Ancient Greece) or a swinge-buckler (an Elizabethan braggart). Chapters are organized chronologically by historical period—Ancient Attacks, Medieval Madness, Edgy Elizabethans, Victorian Venom, Jazz Age Jibes, and Cold War Cuts—and include themed sidebars focusing on Pirate Put-Downs, Hobo Huffs, and Cowboy Curses, as well as samplers for words with many different sayings per period. Fun, a little bit lewd, and incredibly informative this is a must-read for humor fans, history buffs, armchair etymologists, and the most sneaping of breedbates.

The Synonym Finder

The Synonym Finder PDF Author: J. I. Rodale
Publisher: Rodale Books
ISBN: 162336759X
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 3402

Book Description
Originally published in 1961 by the founder of Rodale Inc., The Synonym Finder continues to be a practical reference tool for every home and office. This thesaurus contains more than 1 million synonyms, arranged alphabetically, with separate subdivisions for the different parts of speech and meanings of the same word.

The Comedy Quote Dictionary

The Comedy Quote Dictionary PDF Author: Ronald L. Smith
Publisher: Doubleday Books
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 316

Book Description
Presents a compilation of more than 2000 quips, quotes, jokes, and epigrams from contemporary comedians.