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Author: Rosemarie Jarski Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1407079026 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 578
Book Description
The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour. 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson 'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon 'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin 'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson 'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx 'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen
Author: Rosemarie Jarski Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1407079026 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 578
Book Description
The bestselling, blockbusting, bumper book of humorous quotations rides back into town with 6,000 more hilariously funny quotes. From times past to the modern day, classic funnies to contemporary wit, The Funniest Thing You Never Said 2 delivers an unbeatable selection of fantastic and hilarious quotes on every subject under the sun. Featuring topics as diverse as celebrity to religion, and including a cast of quotees ranging from Oscar Wilde to Homer Simpson, there's something here for everyone with a sense of humour. 'I am willing to love all mankind, except an American.' - Samuel Johnson 'Glastonbury was very wet and muddy. There was trench foot, dysentery, peaches ... all the Geldof daughters.' - Sean Lock 'Politics would be a helluva good business if it weren't for the goddamned people.' - Richard Nixon 'I've had more women than most people have noses.' - Steve Martin 'I have the simplest tastes. I'm always satisfied with the best.' - Oscar Wilde 'Well, it's 1am. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.' - Homer Simpson 'All I know is I'm not a Marxist.' - Karl Marx 'I'm the pink sheep of the family.' - Alexander McQueen
Author: Rosemarie Jarski Publisher: Random House ISBN: 0091924502 Category : Quotations, English Languages : en Pages : 578
Book Description
-"Tom [Cruise] has--we all have--the right to practice how we feel...don't judge someone until they have tossed your salad." --John Travolta -"I love Africa in general--South Africa and West Africa, they are both great countries." --Paris Hilton -"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." --George W. Bush -"My game is like the Pythagorean theorem: No one has an answer." --Shaquille O'Neal -"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people." --Axl Rose From Muhammad Ali to Frank Zappa, everyone has said something idiotic at some point. Dim Wit presents the most hilarious verbal mishaps ever uttered by famous figures. Perfect for e-mailing to friends and family or giving yourself a laugh before bed, these adventures in Blunderland define "jaw-droppingly stupid."
Author: Steven D. Price Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield ISBN: 1493029436 Category : Reference Languages : en Pages : 353
Book Description
A collection of stupid utterances, mostly unintentional--although not always--from politics, show business, sports, and anywhere else people can put their feet in their mouths. Based on recorded history, it's safe to say that dumb remarks have been with us since the invention of writing. Young or old, rich or poor, famous or unknown, people of all generations and cultures have seized the opportunity to say something dumb - stupidity has always been an equal opportunity employer. In celebration of such mental lapses and pure idiocy, here is a collection of stupid utterances, unintentional and otherwise, from the worlds of politics, radio, television, newspapers, show business, sports, and literature - and everywhere else people can - and have - put their feet in their mouths.
Author: Nathan Ripperger Publisher: Ten Speed Press ISBN: 1607748304 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 98
Book Description
An illustrated gift book that brings to life the universal parenting experience of saying strange and hilarious things to one's kids. As the father of five boys (all under age 10), graphic designer Nathan Ripperger has found himself saying some rather funny, absurd, and downright bizarre things to his children, from "Stop riding that penguin, we're leaving" to "I am NOT talking to you until you are wearing underwear." He created poster-like images for each and posted them online. The response from other parents was overwhelming. With Things I've Said to My Children, Ripperger has assembled around 80 of the funniest, weirdest, and most amusing sayings and paired them with full-color, designed images that bring these outrageously hysterical quotes to life. Covering the essential parenting topics like food, animals, don'ts, and of course, bodily functions, Things I've Said to My Children is a light-hearted illustrated reminder of the shared absurdity of parenthood. Especially for those parents who've ever found themselves uttering some variation of the line, "Please don't eat the goldfish crackers you've put in your butt."
Author: Samantha Irby Publisher: Vintage ISBN: 0525563490 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 338
Book Description
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Nonfiction Award Winner • A rip-roaring, edgy and unabashedly raunchy new collection of hilarious essays from the New York Times bestselling author of We Are Never Meeting in Real Life. “Stay-up-all-night, miss-your-subway-stop, spit-out-your-beverage funny.” —Jia Tolentino, New York Times bestselling author of Trick Mirror Irby is forty, and increasingly uncomfortable in her own skin despite what Inspirational Instagram Infographics have promised her. She has left her job as a receptionist at a veterinary clinic, has published successful books and has been friendzoned by Hollywood, left Chicago, and moved into a house with a garden that requires repairs and know-how with her wife in a Blue town in the middle of a Red state where she now hosts book clubs and makes mason jar salads. This is the bourgeois life of a Hallmark Channel dream. She goes on bad dates with new friends, spends weeks in Los Angeles taking meetings with "tv executives slash amateur astrologers" while being a "cheese fry-eating slightly damp Midwest person," "with neck pain and no cartilage in [her] knees," who still hides past due bills under her pillow. The essays in this collection draw on the raw, hilarious particulars of Irby's new life. Wow, No Thank You. is Irby at her most unflinching, riotous, and relatable. Don't miss Samantha Irby's bestselling new book, Quietly Hostile!
Author: Sandra Dallas Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin ISBN: 1429903376 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 286
Book Description
May Anna Kovacks was discovered on the dustry streets of Butte, Montana and went on to become a Hollywood star. War, fame, marriage, love, and heartbreak came and went. What never changed was the bond she shared with her two best friends, Effa Commander and Whippy Bird. When scandal, murder, and betrayal made a legend of May Anna, only Effa and Whippy Bird could set the record straight.
Author: Rosemarie Jarski Publisher: Random House ISBN: 0091906318 Category : English wit and humor Languages : en Pages : 466
Book Description
Arranged thematically--from Class and Character, Sex and Snobbery, to the Foreigner's Eye View--here is the definitive collection of the British nation's funniest quotations. Among the many great and good who dazzle us with their wit are Martin Amis, Jane Austen, Billy Connolly, Quentin Crisp, Roald Dahl, John Lennon, Queen Victoria, and Oscar Wilde.
Author: Randy Pausch Publisher: ISBN: 9780340978504 Category : Cancer Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family.
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Author: Anthony Powell
Author: Steven D. Price
Author: Nathan Ripperger
Author: Samantha Irby
Author: Sandra Dallas
Author: Rosemarie Jarski
Author: Bruce Miller
Author: Randy Pausch