Toilet Tales PDF Download

Author: Brigitte Waisberg
Publisher: Big Kid Books
ISBN: 9781554519873
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 20

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Book Description
"Big kids use the toilet. Do animals use it too?"--Back cover.

Author: David Macaulay
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547770723
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 97

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Book Description
It is the year 4022; all of the ancient country of Usa has been buried under many feet of detritus from a catastrophe that occurred back in 1985. Imagine, then, the excitement that Howard Carson, an amateur archeologist at best, experienced when in crossing the perimeter of an abandoned excavation site he felt the ground give way beneath him and found himself at the bottom of a shaft, which, judging from the DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from an archaic doorknob, was clearly the entrance to a still-sealed burial chamber. Carson's incredible discoveries, including the remains of two bodies, one of then on a ceremonial bed facing an altar that appeared to be a means of communicating with the Gods and the other lying in a porcelain sarcophagus in the Inner Chamber, permitted him to piece together the whole fabric of that extraordinary civilization.

Author: Michael Ryan
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 0595311733
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 66

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Book Description
"I am speechless. The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever is the most disgusting, crude book I have ever read. I am ashamed to say my son wrote this. Where did I go wrong?" -Mother of Author Michael Ryan, too embarrassed to give her name "I succeeded! It is clear that my superb parenting skills paid off. The Author, Michael Ryan, tells the A to Zs of shit taking. He demonstrates his expertise on the always funny material of the infamous #2." -Proud Father of Author Michael Ryan, who's wife wouldn't let him give his first name The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever was written for anyone who wants to laugh out loud about the topic of taking a crap. Author Michael Ryan displays his expertise on the often unspoken everyday experience of going to the bathroom. He dissects every imaginable issue from the toilet paper texture to the writings on the bathroom stall doors. A few of the many other topics covered are: types of doody, locations, bathroom spray, courtesy flush, the bidet, what to do while going to the bathroom, types of farts, clogging the bowl, activities, wiping (sitting vs. standing), diarrhea, hemorrhoids, girls, masturbation, constipation and public toilets in various countries.

Author: Peter Moore
Publisher: Random House Australia
ISBN: 1863253076
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 270

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Book Description
Straight-talking, down-to-earth and totally irreverent, NO SHITTING IN THE TOILET examines cheap travel with clear eyes and hard realism. Based on the 1996 Travel Website of the Year (Net Magazine) NSITT is a celebration of all that's perverse about travel. It's about getting stranded and ripped off. It's about sitting in a tiny room counting cockroaches and feeling sorry for yourself. It's about being totally clueless, hopeless and pathetic... and loving every minute of it!In the four years since the original NSITT took the backpacker world by storm, many changes have revolutionised the travel experience - the internet and the trend towards short-break holidays being the most significant. The plummeting value of the dollar means more and more holiday-makers are venturing even further off the beaten track in search of affordable holidays - and thus deeper into the territory of NSITT, 'where you're more likely to find a cockroach on your pillow than a complimentary mint'. The three new chapters will keep Peter's fans - original groupies and new recruits alike - well-informed on all aspects of backpacker travel. Peter shares his secrets with chapters like- "Top 10 horrific bus rides", "Top 10 big nights out" and "Top 10 travel ailments". NSITT is the perfect antidote to vaseline-lensed accounts of travel. Peter fixes a clear and unromantic eye on the backpacker experience and tells it like it really is - and how we all (ultimately) love it to be! After all, who dines out on smooth-sailing experiences? It's the disasters that get the laughs - and create the memories.

Author: Kirsten Koza
Publisher: Travelers' Tales
ISBN: 1609521102
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 271

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Book Description
Stand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee—Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more….

Author: Eka Kurniawan
Publisher: Verso Books
ISBN: 1786637154
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 145

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Book Description
Nominated for the Man Booker International, Eka Kurniawan brings his short stories into English for the first time Eka Kurniawan’s freewheeling imagination explores the turbulent dreams of an ex-prostitute, the hapless life of a perpetual student, victims of an anticommunist genocide, the travails of an elephant, even the vengeful fantasies of a stone. Dark, sexual, scatological, violent, and mordantly funny, these fractured fables span city and country, animal and human, myth and politics. Like nothing else, Kurniawan’s stories bury themselves in the mind. His characters and insights are at once hauntingly familiar, peculiar, and twisted.

Author: Karen Katz
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0689874235
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 14

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Book Description
Mother helps daughter learn to use the potty so that she will be a big girl with big kid pants.

Author: Richard Smyth
Publisher: Souvenir Press
ISBN: 0285641204
Category : History
Languages : en
Pages : 100

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Book Description
This is the hidden history of an invention that we use every day but seldom dare to speak of. In medieval China it was cutting-edge technology. For 19th-century Americans it was a newfangled alternative to dried corncobs and the Sears & Roebuck catalogue. Wits in Georgian London preferred pages of bad poetry. The sages of ancient Athens were content to wield the xylospongion instead. It's the tale of toilet paper; the biography of bumfodder. From its origins at the Imperial court of Emperor Hongwu to its reinvention as a quack remedy for haemorrhoids in 1870s New York city; from the Dutch and their mussel-shells to Henry VIII and his Groom of the Stool; from Madame de Prie's pioneering bidet to the space-age Washlet; from leaf-wielding chimpanzees to Mr Thirsty Fiber and the world's first three-adjective loo-roll - it's a story of necessity and invention, luxury and squalor, experiment and tradition. What does a submarine crew do when it runs out of toilet paper? Who stole the Pope's loo-roll? Does printer's ink cause piles? How do you fold a sheet of toilet paper in half more than seven times? What did 'bumphleteers' do, and why? Richard Smyth answers the questions you never thought to ask about the product we can't live without.

Author: Sarah Albee
Publisher: Walker Childrens
ISBN: 9780802798251
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Did lead pipescause the fall of the Roman Empire? How many toilets were in theaverage Egyptian pyramid? How did a knight wearing fiftypounds of armor go to thebathroom? Was poor hygiene thelast strawbefore the French Revolution? DidThomas Crapper really inventthe modern toilet? How doastronauts goin space? History finally comes out of thewater-closet inthis exploration of how people's need to relieve themselves shapedhumandevelopment from ancient times to the present. Throughout time, themostsuccessful civilizations were the ones who realized thateveryone poops, and theyhad better figure out how to get rid of it! From the world's firstflushing toiletinvented by ancient Minoan plumbers to castle moats in the middle agesthatused more than just water to repel enemies, Sarah Albee traces humancivilization using one revolting yet fascinating theme. A blend of historical photos and humorous illustrationsbring the answers to these questions and more to life, plus extra-grosssidebar information adds to the potty humor. This is bathroom readingkids, teachers,librarians, and parents won't be able to put down!

Author: Dav Pilkey
Publisher: Captain Underpants
ISBN: 9780439978064
Category : Amusements
Languages : en
Pages : 95

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Book Description
Join George Beard and Harold Hutchins for a wedgie-powered wonder! The All New Captain Underpants Extra-Crunchy Book O' Fun 2! Word-searches, mazes, quizzes, crosswords and truly disgusting jokes combine to make this a must for any fan of Captain Underpants and Super Diaper Baby! Have you read your Underpants today?