You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom PDF Download

Author: Leslie Anne Bruce
Publisher: Seal Press
ISBN: 1580058914
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 238

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Book Description
A much-needed voice of encouragement for every woman who had a baby and lost her mind Sometimes, motherhood feels never-ending. A child is born, chaos ensues, and it seems like life will never return to normal. In You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom, award-winning journalist and Instagram star Leslie Anne Bruce acknowledges that, yes, motherhood is a total mind f*ck—but then she offers the self-empowerment lessons new mothers need to get through the psychic upheaval and emerge stronger than ever. After childbirth, a woman's body, her relationships, and her very sense of self are tested like never before. Bruce encourages readers to look past the sugarcoated truisms about the miracles of child-rearing in order to embrace the real joys of motherhood, spit-up stains and all. Loaded with unfettered support from a mom who has been through it all, You Are a F*cking Awesome Mom offers a lifeline of encouragement, inspiration, and community for the new mama who got a baby, lost her mind, and desperately wants to find herself again.

Author: Jen Mann
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345549988
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A debut collection of witty, biting essays laced with a surprising warmth, from Jen Mann, the writer behind the popular blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat People I want to punch in the throat: • anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer • humblebraggers • people who treat their pets like children Jen Mann doesn’t have a filter, which sometimes gets her in trouble with her neighbors, her fellow PTA moms, and that one woman who tried to sell her sex toys at a home shopping party. Known for her hilariously acerbic observations on her blog, People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Mann now brings her sharp wit to bear on suburban life, marriage, and motherhood in this laugh-out-loud collection of essays. From the politics of joining a play group, to the thrill of mothers’ night out at the gun range, to the rewards of your most meaningful relationship (the one you have with your cleaning lady), nothing is sacred or off-limits. So the next time you find yourself wearing fuzzy bunny pajamas in the school carpool line or accidentally stuck at a co-worker’s swingers party, just think, What would Jen Mann do? Or better yet, buy her book. Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat “People I Want to Punch in the Throat is so good that it’ll make you want to adopt all the cats in the world. I’m not sure about the correlation, but it’s that good. It should come with a warning.”—Jenny Lawson, author of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened “Jen Mann has an amazing way of telling stories that will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time. From swinger parties to racist toddlers, she makes the suburbs unbelievably funny.”—Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes “Jen Mann says the things we’re all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey.”—Robin O’Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves “Jen Mann’s shrewd and unrelenting assault on the absurdity of suburban life is an honest peek into the occasional nightmare that is part of living the American dream. I love Jen. I wish she was my neighbor. It’s so refreshing to know that I’m not the only one who wants to punch almost everyone in the f***ing throat.”—Nicole Knepper, author of Moms Who Drink And Swear

Author: Allie Brosh
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451666187
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 384

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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Author: Kristin Hannah
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429927844
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 532

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Book Description
From the New York Times bestselling author Kristin Hannah comes a powerful novel of love, loss, and the magic of friendship. . . . now a #1 Netflix series! In the turbulent summer of 1974, Kate Mularkey has accepted her place at the bottom of the eighth-grade social food chain. Then, to her amazement, the "coolest girl in the world" moves in across the street and wants to be her friend. Tully Hart seems to have it all—beauty, brains, ambition. On the surface they are as opposite as two people can be: Kate, doomed to be forever uncool, with a loving family who mortifies her at every turn. Tully, steeped in glamour and mystery, but with a secret that is destroying her. They make a pact to be best friends forever; by summer's end they've become TullyandKate. Inseparable. So begins Kristin Hannah's magnificent new novel. Spanning more than three decades and playing out across the ever-changing face of the Pacific Northwest, Firefly Lane is the poignant, powerful story of two women and the friendship that becomes the bulkhead of their lives. From the beginning, Tully is desperate to prove her worth to the world. Abandoned by her mother at an early age, she longs to be loved unconditionally. In the glittering, big-hair era of the eighties, she looks to men to fill the void in her soul. But in the buttoned-down nineties, it is television news that captivates her. She will follow her own blind ambition to New York and around the globe, finding fame and success . . . and loneliness. Kate knows early on that her life will be nothing special. Throughout college, she pretends to be driven by a need for success, but all she really wants is to fall in love and have children and live an ordinary life. In her own quiet way, Kate is as driven as Tully. What she doesn't know is how being a wife and mother will change her . . . how she'll lose sight of who she once was, and what she once wanted. And how much she'll envy her famous best friend. . . . For thirty years, Tully and Kate buoy each other through life, weathering the storms of friendship—jealousy, anger, hurt, resentment. They think they've survived it all until a single act of betrayal tears them apart . . . and puts their courage and friendship to the ultimate test. Firefly Lane is for anyone who ever drank Boone's Farm apple wine while listening to Abba or Fleetwood Mac. More than a coming-of-age novel, it's the story of a generation of women who were both blessed and cursed by choices. It's about promises and secrets and betrayals. And ultimately, about the one person who really, truly knows you—and knows what has the power to hurt you . . . and heal you. Firefly Lane is a story you'll never forget . . . one you'll want to pass on to your best friend.

Author: Jody Kaye
Publisher: Jody Kaye
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 346

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Book Description
—GATLIN— My penance for blowing it on a hot mic was spinning tunes at an upscale beach resort. But I'm returning to my ultimate career, and training Boston Belle, my replacement, is a just reward. Not my usual type, the raven-haired beauty stands up to me to prove she's the better DJ. After seven nights in paradise, it’s hard to leave her alone. Despite my big mouth and my new boss keeping me on a short leash, my radio show is winning the ratings war. Everything’s smooth sailing… Until I find a baby on my doorstep. Overnight, I’m a single dad, expected to rock the jukebox in the wee hours of the morning and my little girl at night. —BELLAMY— Raised by a single mom, I never knew my father. Except, it's beyond hope Gatlin understands I didn't show up at Kingsbrier to cash in. Unfortunately, my life went from bad to worse as soon as I stepped into the small town. Now, I'm trying to earn the trust of a former bad boy. Abandoning our daughter was an accident, and I don't want to let her out of my reach. Though, I’m positive my dream of playing music always will be. But when our baby girl wraps Gatlin around her little finger, am I selfish to wish a good man loved me, too? Gatlin and Bellamy’s Small Town Baby on the Doorstep Romance is perfect for readers who love a second chance romance between characters drawn together by instant attraction and separated by circumstances beyond their control. With an enemies to lovers vibe, Love Me Fast is a full-length sudden baby romance between a strong-willed heroine and a playboy hero. This book has a guaranteed happily ever after and features the sometimes meddlesome family in Jody Kaye’s continuing best selling, southern small town saga, the Kingsbrier Quintuplets and the Kingsbrier Legacy series’.

Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673787
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

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Book Description
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Author: Mark Manson
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 006245773X
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 197

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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller Over 10 million copies sold In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people. For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up. Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek. There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.

Author: Bijou Hunter
Publisher: Snowdrop Fridays Publishing
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 219

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Book Description
HEAT ღ HUMOR ღ HEA Sylvie Majors is a hellion with fire in her veins and a pistol for a mouth. The eighteen-year-old nurses a very specific fantasy about her future, refusing to yield to anything less. Now, she’s come face to face with her one-and-only love. It’s time for Sylvie to put up or shut up. Ronan Byrne spent decades creating a protective wall around his life. The number of people the crime boss truly trusts can be counted on one hand. He has no desire for romance, let alone a wife and children. Sylvie and Ronan might embrace contradictory plans for the future. But they’re about to learn love can overcome even the most stubborn hearts. "Stone Cold Awesome" contains graphic sexual content, violent situations, harsh language, and drug use. The book is only appropriate for adult readers aged 18+.

Author: Shayna Ferm
Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
ISBN: 0757320481
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
Motherhood is not for the fainthearted. It's often a mayhem marathon filled with exhausting days, punctuated by public outbursts, poison control phone calls and poop (everywhere!). In this book straight from Tracey Tee and Shayna Ferm's irreverent mom-to-mom comedy phenomenon, The Pump and Dump Show, you'll be relieved to know you are not alone. Women across the country have confessed their craziest, most exasperating, unforgettable things their kids have done on handwritten cards that make up this book. Parenting is really hard -- but often hilarious -- and we're all just doing the best we can.

Author: Lexi Blake
Publisher: DLZ Entertainment LLC
ISBN: 1942297408
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 573

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Book Description
From New York Times and USA Today bestseller Lexi Blake comes a new epic-length story in her Thieves/Hunterworld… A daughter lost Summer has spent her whole life wondering about the family she left behind. On the night she came into being she only had a few moments with them. In that brief time, she reached out to her father, looking deep into his soul, and gifted him the will to go on. But now she is the one in need. Once a child made of pure magic, she is forced to live as a mortal. Her power caused great harm, and she has sworn never to let it happen again. With her friends beside her, she tries her best to help those she can. If that requires her to do a little thievery, well, she is her mother’s daughter, after all. Everything changes when a woman falls from the sky and Summer meets the handsome vampire named Marcus Vorenus. Just as her past begins to catch up with her, she might have finally met her future. A mother discovered Kelsey Owens went searching for Dev and Marcus but all she found was a trap. She was pulled through a magical painting and thrown smack into the middle of a battle on a foreign plane of existence. Luckily she’s good in a fight. Saving the woman targeted by the horde of brutal soldiers, Kelsey is shocked by her resemblance to her queen. As Kelsey investigates the mystery surrounding Summer Donovan-Quinn, she also hunts for a way back to the husbands and son she just claimed. A queen exiled Zoey Donovan-Quinn is not happy. The wizard Myrddin is back, her marriage is troubled, and she is sure those two problems are connected. But nothing is more worrying than Dev’s sudden disappearance. When she and Daniel go looking for him, they are drawn into a world thought lost to the Earth plane. Danger awaits them there, but so does the daughter they thought they would never see again. She hopes they survive their reunion. Three heroines. One mystery. And an ending that will change the Thieves world forever…