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Author: Llewellyn Dowd Publisher: Random House ISBN: 144649148X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 578
Book Description
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pints What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?' A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!' The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...
Author: Llewellyn Dowd Publisher: Random House ISBN: 144649148X Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 578
Book Description
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pints What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?' A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!' The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...
Author: Pop Press Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1529929784 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 106
Book Description
What's better than sharing a joke? Sharing 400 jokes. Give the gift of a laugh to your family comedian. This ultimate collection of laughs is packed with awesome jokes suitable for all ages - a book everyone can enjoy together. Featuring the cheesiest jokes imaginable: I'm scared of lifts. So I take steps to avoid them. Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that. I went to a still-life exhibition. It was quite good, but not moving. I used to run a dating service for chickens but I was struggling to make hens meet. I hate Russian dolls. They are so full of themselves. ... and hundreds more...
Author: Gus Worland Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1925596583 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 384
Book Description
Gargantuan gags. Goofs and giggles for your favourite fella. With royalties donated to support men's mental health. Knockabout brothers Gus and Steve Worland know a good joke when they hear one, and this smorgasbord of their favourite gags and yarns will keep the men in your life giggling all the way to the dunny and back. Full of the Worland brothers’ best jokes about being a dad, a son, a mate, a husband and much, much more, this collection gives you their funniest thigh-slappers, from one-liners and wait-for-its to shaggy dog stories, knock knocks, lightbulb jokes, Aussie rhyming slang, the longest and shortest joke in the world … and of course, their choicest and most time-honoured dad jokes. Through laughter and a tipping of the hat to the important things in life, The Bloke-a-Saurus also presents the wisdom of the ages with advice from the masters that helps grow boys into men, and stories that remind us that while we're all laughing, some blokes are doing it tougher than others. Royalties will be donated to Gotcha 4 Life Foundation to help fund the training of male crisis counsellors.
Author: Jake Harris Publisher: Summersdale ISBN: 9781849531856 Category : English wit and humor Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Q. What do you do if a bird craps on your car? A. Don't ask her for a second date. Running out of jokes to tell your mates down the pub? Whatever the occasion, whip out this nifty collection of jokes for blokes - it's strictly one for the lads!
Author: John Gurney Publisher: ISBN: 9780006379294 Category : Languages : en Pages : 92
Book Description
Across the country there is a fraternity of men, women and youngsters whose greatest pleasure in life is fishing. The jokes told in this collection are not told against anglers, but stories told by anglers against themselves.
Author: Jon Ronson Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1451665970 Category : Technology & Engineering Languages : en Pages : 274
Book Description
Now a major film, starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, and Jeff Bridges, this New York Times bestseller is a disturbing and often hilarious look at the U.S. military's long flirtation with the paranormal—and the psy-op soldiers that are still fighting the battle. Bizarre military history: In 1979, a crack commando unit was established by the most gifted minds within the U.S. Army. Defying all known laws of physics and accepted military practice, they believed that a soldier could adopt the cloak of invisibility, pass cleanly through walls, and—perhaps most chillingly—kill goats just by staring at them. They were the First Earth Battalion, entrusted with defending America from all known adversaries. And they really weren’t joking. What’s more, they’re back—and they’re fighting the War on Terror. An uproarious exploration of American military paranoia: With investigations ranging from the mysterious “Goat Lab,” to Uri Geller’s covert psychic work with the CIA, to the increasingly bizarre role played by a succession of U.S. presidents, this might just be the funniest, most unsettling book you will ever read—if only because it is all true and is still happening today.
Author: Ian Allen Publisher: Portico ISBN: 1909396095 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 178
Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!
Author: Stephanie Perkins Publisher: Usborne Publishing Ltd ISBN: 1409579956 Category : Juvenile Fiction Languages : en Pages : 346
Book Description
Anna had everything figured out – she was about to start senior year with her best friend, she had a great weekend job and her huge work crush looked as if it might finally be going somewhere... Until her dad decides to send her 4383 miles away to Paris. On her own. But despite not speaking a word of French, Anna finds herself making new friends, including Étienne St. Clair, the smart, beautiful boy from the floor above. But he's taken – and Anna might be too. Will a year of romantic near-misses end with the French kiss she's been waiting for?
Author: Tim Vine Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1409039307 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 322
Book Description
The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.
Author: Dad Says Jokes Publisher: Cassell ISBN: 1788402030 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 188
Book Description
THE SECOND COLLECTION FROM THE INSTAGRAM SENSATION @DADSAYSJOKES All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @DadSaysJokes. Now with a following of over 8 million across Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new gags guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Dad jokes network on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter, with more than 8 million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking influencer, started his career at the tender age of 14 when he created his original platform, Football.Newz. He has since added another fourteen platforms, including @PubityPets and monster meme Instagram page @Pubity with over 40 million followers. This is his second book. Q: Where do naughty rainbows go? A: Prism.
Author: Llewellyn Dowd
Author: Llewellyn Dowd
Author: Pop Press
Author: Gus Worland
Author: Jake Harris
Author: John Gurney
Author: Jon Ronson
Author: Ian Allen
Author: Stephanie Perkins
Author: Tim Vine
Author: Dad Says Jokes