I Saw Zombies Eating Santa Claus PDF Download

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476708738
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 175

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Book Description
“One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping...he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice....

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147670872X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 203

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Book Description
Just in time for the holidays—a hilarious Christmas novella and sequel to the author’s highly acclaimed Breathers, “a zombie comedy with brains” (Kirkus Reviews). “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping . . . he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice. . . .

Author: Matt Mogk
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1628734914
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 20

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Book Description
I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a new spin on a holiday classic that tells the story of a suburban zombie outbreak and the little boy who knows just what to do. When Johnny finds out that his mother has turned into a zombie and has attacked Santa Claus, he knows that it’s up to him to put the living dead (back) to rest. While the chaos spreads from the mall to the Christmas parade, Johnny finds his friends Glenn, Barb, and Ben, and they devise a plan to not only protect themselves—and their dog—but to make sure to get to Grandma’s house before the zombies take over town. While they’ve planned for the worst, nothing could prepare them for watching jolly old Saint Nick get devoured by mindless zombies. This clever take on a Christmas tradition is right up the alley of anyone who ever wondered what would happen if a zombie outbreak took place during the holiday season. I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus is a beautifully gory tale that’s sure to become a classic for fans of the holidays and the living dead.

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476733546
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 369

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Book Description
"A radically funny, irreverent, satirical novel about a loan shark who is able to steal people's luck--perfect for fans of bestselling authors Christopher Moore and Chuck Palahniuk. Nick Monday is a private detective with a penchant for coffeehouse baristas and the ability to steal other people's luck. Politicians and celebrities. Lottery winners and game show contestants. Accident survivors and successful athletes. All it takes is a handshake and Nick walks away with their good fortune, which he sells on the black market to the highest bidder. But lately, business has been slow. So when the sexy daughter of San Francisco's mayor offers Nick $100,000 to find her father's stolen luck, Nick thinks this is his big break. But he soon ends up blackmailed by the feds, kidnapped by the Chinese mafia, and accosted by vegans and angry naked women with knives ... all while trying to save a ten-year-old kid with the purest luck he's ever seen. Hailed as "pitch-perfect" by The Washington Post and deemed "one of America's best satiric novelists" by Kirkus Reviews, Browne's masterful combination of humor and biting social commentary make for an irresistible read"--

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476711771
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 384

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Book Description
The brand-new novel from the author of Lucky Bastard and Breathers—“one of today’s very best writers” (Jonathan Maberry). Does your lifestyle not fit the person inside you? Then try someone else on for size! Call him whatever. Call him whomever. He can be any legally authorized fictional character or dead celebrity he wants for six to eight hours, simply by injecting a DNA-laced cocktail into his brain stem. It’s called Big Egos and it’s the ultimate role-playing fantasy from Engineering Genetics Organization and Systems (aka EGOS.) And, as one of the quality controllers for EGOS, he’s the ultimate ego-tripper, taking on more artificial identities than advisable—and having a hell of a time doing it. Problem is, he’s starting to lose the ability to separate fact from fiction. His every fantasy is the new reality. And the more roles he plays, the less of him remains. Sure, it’s dangerous. Yes, he’s probably losing his mind. Okay, hundreds of others could be at risk. But sometimes who you are isn’t good enough. And the truth is, reality is so overrated. . . . With his insightful wit, smart humor, and electrifying narrative, acclaimed author S. G. Browne takes readers on a satirical and provocative trip into the not-too-distant future, where, for some, pretending to be someone you’re not is just another day at the office.

Author: Michael P. Spradlin
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006198602X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 100

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Book Description
The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101477911
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 260

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Book Description
From the acclaimed author of Breathers--an irreverent novel about fate, destiny, and the karmic consequences of getting involved with humans. Over the past few thousand years, Fabio has come to hate his job. As Fate, he's in charge of assigning the fortunes and misfortunes that befall most of the human race-the 83% who keep screwing things up. Frustrated with his endless parade of drug addicts and career politicians, Fate has to watch Destiny guide her people to Nobel Peace Prizes and Super Bowl MVPs. To make matters worse, he has a five- hundred-year-old feud with Death, and his best friends are Sloth and Gluttony. And worst of all? He's fallen in love with a human. Getting involved with a human breaks Rule #1, and about ten others, setting off some cosmic-sized repercussions that could strip him of his immortality-or lead to a fate worse than death.

Author: S. G. Browne
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 0748123547
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 211

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Book Description
Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty-one-year-old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography. When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self-discovery that will take him from his casket, to the SPCA, to a media-driven class-action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.

Author: S.G. Browne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147671178X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 368

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Book Description
With the razor-sharp satire that earned him rave reviews for Big Egos and Lucky Bastard, among others, S.G. Browne delivers another irresistible read, about an unlikely band of heroes who use their medical complications to gain fame, confront villains, and bring their own unique brand of justice to New York City. Faster than a spreading rash! More powerful than dry heaves! Able to put villains to sleep with a single yawn! Convulsions. Nausea. Headaches. Sudden weight gain. For the pharmaceutical soldiers on the front lines of medical science—volunteers who test experimental drugs for cash—these common side effects are a small price to pay to defend your right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of antidepressants. Lloyd Prescott, thirty-year-old professional guinea pig and victim of his own inertia, is the first to notice the bizarre, seemingly implausible consequences of years of testing not-quite-legal drugs: his lips go numb, he becomes overwhelmed with exhaustion, and instantly a stranger crumples into a slumbering heap before him. Under cover of night, Lloyd and his guinea pig friends band together to project their debilitating side effects onto petty criminals who prey upon the innocent. When a horrible menace with powers eerily similar to their own threatens the city, only one force can stop this evil: the handful of brave men who routinely undergo clinical trials. “One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne fills the prescription for a hilarious and biting commentary on our overmedicated society. Citizens, rest assured that tonight, no matter your ailment—anxiety, depression, super villains—there’s a pill to save the day.

Author: Jason Offutt
Publisher: CamCat Publishing, LLC
ISBN: 0744304512
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 361

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Book Description
Beware of what lurks in the corn. Fairies don’t exist. At least that’s what Thomas Cavanaugh’s parents say. But the events of that one night, when he follows a fairy into the cornfield on his parents’ farm, prove them wrong. What seems like a destructive explosion was, Thomas knows, an encounter with Dauðr, a force that threatens to destroy the fairy’s world and his sanity. Years later, after a troubled childhood and a series of dead-end jobs, he is still haunted by what he saw that night. One day he crosses paths with a beautiful young woman and a troubled young man, soon realizing that he first met them as a kid while under psychiatric care after his encounters in the cornfield. Has fate brought them together? Are they meant to join forces to save the fairy’s world and their own? Or is one of them not who they claim to be?