How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack PDF Download

Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473501962
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

View

Book Description
There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Author: Twigs Way
Publisher: Shire Publications
ISBN: 9780747807100
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 0

View

Book Description
This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1626864225
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 257

View

Book Description
A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Author: Julian Montague
Publisher: University of Chicago Press
ISBN: 0226829855
Category : Photography
Languages : en
Pages : 185

View

Book Description
A taxonomy we didn’t know we needed for identifying and cataloging stray shopping carts by artist and photographer Julian Montague. Abandoned shopping carts are everywhere, and yet we know so little about them. Where do they come from? Why are they there? Their complexity and history baffle even the most careful urban explorer. Thankfully, artist Julian Montague has created a comprehensive and well-documented taxonomy with The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America. Spanning thirty-three categories from damaged, fragment, and plow crush to plaza drift and bus stop discard, it is a tonic for times defined increasingly by rhetoric and media and less by the plain objects and facts of the real world. Montague’s incomparable documentation of this common feature of the urban landscape helps us see the natural and man-made worlds—and perhaps even ourselves—anew. First published in 2006 to great perplexity and acclaim alike, Montague’s book now appears in refreshed and expanded form. Told in an exceedingly dry voice, with full-color illustrations and photographs throughout, it is both rigorous and absurd, offering a strangely compelling vision of how we approach, classify, and understand the environments around us. A new afterword sheds light on the origins of the project.

Author: Bill Adler, Jr.
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 1569764808
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 162

View

Book Description
A book illustrating and explaining a series of strategems to keep squirrels from eating and ruining yards and gardens when more traditional tactics fail.

Author: Reginald Bakeley
Publisher: Conari Press
ISBN: 1609258045
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 210

View

Book Description
Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.

Author: Raymond Bial
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547341253
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 85

View

Book Description
Looks at the problem of dog overpopulation in America; discusses the role of puppy mills, pet stores, and independent breeders; and includes a profile of a local animal shelter.

Author: Jeff Dinardo
Publisher: Red Chair Press
ISBN: 1947159577
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 127

View

Book Description
In the spirit of Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz, this story introduces readers to the hidden magical—and mysterious—world of gnomes, elves, and trolls. Eleven-year-old Sarah moves with her family from New York City to rural Hadley, Connecticut. She's eager to explore her new home and meet new friends, but she never expected to befriend an old garden gnome. Readers join Sarah as she is drawn into a secret world under our feet. Sarah uses her instincts to calm old rivalries and help the underworld elves, gnomes, and more join her in the upperworld.

Author: Ivy Pochoda
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429918934
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 332

View

Book Description
Ivy Pochoda's spellbinding and cinematic storytelling seamlessly fuses timeless magic to modern-day passion. Haunting and beautiful, The Art of Disappearing is an imaginative and captivating love story destined to enchant readers for years to come. How do you know if love is real or just an illusion? When Mel Snow meets the talented magician Toby Warring in a dusty roadside bar, she is instantly drawn to the brilliant performer whose hands can effortlessly pull stray saltshakers and poker chips from thin air and conjure castles out of the desert sands. Just two days later they are married, beginning their life together in the shadow of Las Vegas, where Toby hopes to make it big. Mel knows that magicians are a dime a dozen, but Toby is different—his magic is real. As Toby's renown grows and Mel falls more and more in love with his wonderments, she starts to realize that Toby's powers are as unstable as they are dazzling. She learns that he once made his assistant disappear completely, and couldn't bring her back. And then, just as Mel becomes convinced that his magic is dangerous, a trick goes terribly awry during his Strip debut. Exiled from the stage, Mel and Toby flee the lights of Las Vegas for the streets of Amsterdam where a cabal of old-time magicians, real magicians like Toby, try to rescue him from his despair. But he's haunted by the trick that failed, and obsessed with using his powers to right his mistakes, leaving Mel to wonder if the love they share is genuine or merely a fantasy, conjured up by a lost magician looking to save himself from being alone.

Author: Worry Lines
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1984860275
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 211

View

Book Description
Beloved artist Worry Lines shares a sweetly funny and deeply relatable illustrated story about hope, worry, and chocolate chip cookies. Worry Lines has captured hearts around the world by posting daily drawings on Instagram. In this book, Worry Lines interweaves these fan-favorites into an entirely new story about the making of the book itself. Charting the creative process from its anxiety-riddled beginning to its (hopefully) hopeful end, This Book Is for You is a charming and honest portrait of worry. This book is for you if you are: 1. A Brave Worrier (BW) 2. An Absolute Legend (AL) 3. Anywhere from Mildly Concerned About Something (MCAS) to Deeply Anxious About Everything (DAAE)