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Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061920924
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Book Description
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . . Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Adam Rex
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061920924
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Book Description
Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it’s just not the same. Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it’s not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . . Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.

Fat Vampire

Fat Vampire PDF Author: Johnny B Truant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781964578002
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
When overweight treadmill salesman Reginald Baskin meets a vampire, he wakes to discover he's become the slowest, weakest, most out-of-shape vampire ever created ... doomed to "heal" to his corpulent self for all of eternity.

Fat White Vampire Blues

Fat White Vampire Blues PDF Author: Andrew Fox
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0345464443
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
He’s undead, overweight, and can’t get a date Vampire, nosferatu, creature of the night—whatever you call him—Jules Duchon has lived (so to speak) in New Orleans far longer than there have been drunk coeds on Bourbon Street. Weighing in at a whopping four hundred and fifty pounds, swelled up on the sweet, rich blood of people who consume the fattiest diet in the world, Jules is thankful he can’t see his reflection in a mirror. When he turns into a bat, he can’t get his big ol’ butt off the ground. What’s worse, after more than a century of being undead, he’s watched his neighborhood truly go to hell—and now, a new vampire is looking to drive him out altogether. See, Jules had always been an equal opportunity kind of vampire. And while he would admit that the blood of a black woman is sweeter than the blood of a white man, Jules never drank more than his fair share of either. Enter Malice X . Young, cocky, and black, Malice warns Jules that his days of feasting on sisters and brothers are over. He tells Jules he’d better confine himself to white victims—or else face the consequences. And then, just to prove he isn’t kidding, Malice burns Jules’s house to the ground. With the help of Maureen, the morbidly obese, stripper-vampire who made him, and Doodlebug, an undead cross-dresser who (literally) flies in from the coast—Jules must find a way to contend with the hurdles that life throws at him . . . without getting a stake through the heart. It’s enough to give a man the blues.

Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest

Fat Vampire 6: Survival of the Fattest PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 222

Book Description
The Era of Nighttime Has Begun... Forty years have passed since the end of the vampire/human war. Vampires have taken over the planet and have settled in, making themselves comfortable in the infrastructure their predecessors built, with just a few adjustments to ensure a permanent night. Humans still exist, tightly controlled, because the alpha species needs to eat. But even after four decades of peace, Reginald can't shake his conviction that the war never really ended — that the archive he still holds in his blood warns of an ominous change on the horizon. As old foes rise, the power structures of both races begin to falter and the very existence of life on Earth (both hot-blooded and undead) hangs in the balance. Rebel humans have developed new and frightening weapons, and they aren't afraid to use them even if it could mean the end of everything. And Reginald Baskin — always an outcast, always neglected — may be the only chance to stop it. But as Reginald steps into his destined role as a leader, he faces a hideous inevitability that even he never saw coming … and that he may be too late to prevent.

My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon

My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon PDF Author: Jim Butcher
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1429971134
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 370

Book Description
“[A] lighthearted anthology of honeymoon-themed supernatural romance stories” featuring Katie MacAlister, Jim Butcher, Rachel Caine, and others (Publishers Weekly). What newly married couple doesn’t dream of a romantic retreat where they can escape the world for a while—but what happens when supernatural forces intrude on their wedded bliss? Nine of today’s hottest paranormal authors answer that question in this all-star collection of supernatural stories. Can a vampire-hunter enjoy her honeymoon when she’s just learned that her new hubby is a werewolf? How can newlyweds focus on their wedding night when their honeymoon suite is haunted by feuding ghosts? And what’s a wizard to do when a gruesome monster kidnaps the bride on her way home from the wedding? With so much otherworldly mayhem awaiting our newlyweds, will they ever get around to the honeymoon itself? Find out in . . . My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon. Kelley Armstrong Jim Butcher Rachel Caine P.N. Elrod Caitlin Kittredge Marjorie M. Liu Katie MacAlister Lilith Saintcrow Ronda Thompson “One standout by a new author is Caitlin Kittredge’s ‘Newlydeads,’ a creepy tale of a coastal town where everything is assuredly not as it seems. Heavy hitters like Butcher and Armstrong will pique readers’ interest, and the overall quality of the stories will introduce them to some unfamiliar, up-and-coming authors.” —Library Journal

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet

My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet PDF Author: Mo O'Hara
Publisher: Feiwel & Friends
ISBN: 1250128129
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 209

Book Description
My FANGtastically Evil Vampire Pet, the epic spin-off of Mo O'Hara's New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Zombie Goldfish series features an aspiring evil scientist, paranormal pets, and plenty of hilarious summer camp shenanigans. Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. ‘Cause I’m going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten Fang. We’ve got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn’t expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there’s no way I’m going to let them ruin my summer. Evil Emperor of the Camp, here I come! Signed, The Great and Powerful Mark

Fat Vampire 5: Fatpocalypse

Fat Vampire 5: Fatpocalypse PDF Author: Johnny B. Truant
Publisher: Johnny B. Truant
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 203

Book Description
What the New Order Seeks, Reginald Must Find... The new vampire president and his psychotic right-hand man have been playing a dangerous game with the humans over the past six months. In the public eye, the two races appear to be at peace ... but the situation below the surface is hot enough to boil. And while the untrusting humans mass their defenses, vampire armies have been building to match them — with plans to exterminate the planet's current inhabitants, saving only a handful of blood slaves. Reginald, Nikki, Maurice, and the others bunkered in at Maurice's estate find themselves in the middle of a no-win scenario: Is it better to fight with their own kind in the vampire revolution? Or should they turn traitors — and risk extermination by the angels — in order to protect the humans? But just as the cold war outside is about to turn hot, Reginald's ever-expanding vampire brain reveals the existence of an artifact that could predict the outcome of the coming war … and maybe even a way to stop it. The only problem is that nobody knows where the artifact is, and when war then breaks and mass slaughter begins on both sides, it seems that time may have run out. Fat Vampire 5 is the biggest, bloodiest, most snack-filled installment in the Fat Vampire series so far, and sets the stage for the sixth book's epic series-ender — a conclusion so big it’ll shake the human world’s foundations.

Dodging Energy Vampires

Dodging Energy Vampires PDF Author: Christiane Northrup, M.D.
Publisher: Hay House, Inc
ISBN: 1401954774
Category : Body, Mind & Spirit
Languages : en
Pages : 249

Book Description
Highly sensitive people—or empaths—see life through the eyes of compassion and caring. They were born that way. As a result, they carry a tremendous amount of inner light. But they’re also the favored prey of "vampires" who feed off empaths’ energy and disrupt their lives on every level—physical, emotional, and financial.In Dodging Energy Vampires, Christiane Northrup, M.D., draws on the latest research in this exciting new field, along with stories from her global community and her own life, to explore the phenomenon of energy vampires and show us how we can spot them, dodge their tactics, and take back our own energy. You’ll delve into the dynamics of vampire-empath relationships and discover how vampires use others’ energy to fuel their own dysfunctional lives. Once you recognize the patterns of behavior that mark these relationships, you’ll be empowered to identify the vampires in your life too.In these pages, Dr. Northrup opens up a toolbox full of techniques you can use to leave these harmful relationships behind; heal from the darkness they’ve cast over your mind, body, and spirit; and let your own light shine. In the end, you may find yourself healthier, happier, wealthier, and more vibrant than you ever believed possible.

Fat Vampire 2

Fat Vampire 2 PDF Author: Johnny B Truant
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781964578019
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Angels and Demons, Myths and Legends... It's been six months since Reginald Baskin became a vampire too fat to live happily with the beautiful undead - six months in which Reginald and his two-thousand-year-old maker Maurice have learned that safety does not come with power. These days, Maurice is Deacon of the Vampire Nation, but plenty beneath Maurice are still plotting to depose him ... or dispose of him. But when a new and ancient threat rears its head, the Nation faces extinction and the truest of deaths - and Reginald, Maurice, and Nikki might be the only vampires who can stop it. This sequel to the cult hit picks up where Fat Vampire left off, following a trio of unlikely heroes down a path of myth and superstition into truths that have been buried for centuries - pitting the world's darkness against the unfathomable power of its angry creators.

Vampires Never Get Old

Vampires Never Get Old PDF Author: Zoraida Córdova
Publisher: Imprint
ISBN: 1250230004
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 282

Book Description
Eleven fresh vampire stories from young adult fiction’s leading voices fill this bestselling anthology—including V.E. Schwab's First Kill, now a major Netflix adaptation! "Boundary-pushing... Stories that stake a new claim on old tropes." —Publishers Weekly, starred review In this delicious new collection, you’ll find stories about lurking vampires of social media, rebellious vampires hungry for more than just blood, eager vampires coming out—and going out for their first kill—and other bold, breathtaking, dangerous, dreamy, eerie, iconic, powerful creatures of the night. Welcome to the evolution of the vampire—and a revolution on the page. Vampires Never Get Old includes stories by authors both bestselling and acclaimed, including Samira Ahmed, Dhonielle Clayton, Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker, Tessa Gratton, Heidi Heilig, Julie Murphy, Mark Oshiro, Rebecca Roanhorse, Laura Ruby, Victoria “V. E.” Schwab, and Kayla Whaley. An Imprint Book "Vampire fans, sink your teeth into this satisfying collection." —Kirkus Reviews