Author: Darlene Lancer
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
ISBN: 1616495332
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 250
Book Description
A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
Conquering Shame and Codependency
Author: Darlene Lancer
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
ISBN: 1616495332
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 250
Book Description
A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
Publisher: Hazelden Publishing
ISBN: 1616495332
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 250
Book Description
A nationally recognized author and codependency expert examines the roots of shame and its connection with codependent relationships. Learn how to heal from their destructive hold by implementing eight steps that will empower the real you, and lead to healthier relationships. Shame: the torment you feel when you’re exposed, humiliated, or rejected; the feeling of not being good enough. It’s a deeply painful and universal emotion, yet is not frequently discussed. For some, shame lurks in the unconscious, undermining self-esteem, destroying confidence, and leading to codependency. These codependent relationships—where we overlook our own needs and desires as we try to care for, protect, or please another—often cover up abuse, addiction, or other harmful behaviors. Shame and codependency feed off one another, making us feel stuck, never able to let go, move on, and become the true self we were meant to be. In Conquering Shame and Codependency, Darlene Lancer sheds new light on shame: how codependents’ feelings and beliefs about shame affect their identity, their behavior, and how shame can corrode relationships, destroying trust and love. She then provides eight steps to heal from shame, learn to love yourself, and develop healthy relationships.
Codependency For Dummies
Author: Darlene Lancer
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 1118236874
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
Codependency is much more widespread than originally thought. You don’t even have to be in a relationship. Codependents have trouble accepting themselves, so they hide who they are to be accepted by someone else. Codependency for Dummies is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. It describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency and provides self-assessment questionnaires. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and helpful daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. It clarifies deep psychological dynamics that underlie codependency, yet is written in a conversational style that’s easily understandable by everyone. You will learn: How to raise your self-esteem The difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking The difference between healthy and dysfunctional families How to set boundaries How to separate responsibility for yourself and for others How to overcome guilt and resentment
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 1118236874
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 338
Book Description
Codependency is much more widespread than originally thought. You don’t even have to be in a relationship. Codependents have trouble accepting themselves, so they hide who they are to be accepted by someone else. Codependency for Dummies is the most comprehensive book on the topic to date. It describes the history, symptoms, causes, and relationship dynamics of codependency and provides self-assessment questionnaires. The majority of the book is devoted to healing and lays out a clear plan for recovery with exercises, practical advice, and helpful daily reminders to help you know, honor, protect, and express yourself. It clarifies deep psychological dynamics that underlie codependency, yet is written in a conversational style that’s easily understandable by everyone. You will learn: How to raise your self-esteem The difference between care-giving and codependent care-taking The difference between healthy and dysfunctional families How to set boundaries How to separate responsibility for yourself and for others How to overcome guilt and resentment
Facing Codependence
Author: Pia Mellody
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062031805
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 274
Book Description
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062031805
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 274
Book Description
Pia Mellody creates a framework for identifying codependent thinking, emotions and behaviour and provides an effective approach to recovery. Mellody sets forth five primary adult symptoms of this crippling condition, then traces their origin to emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical and sexual abuses that occur in childhood. Central to Mellody's approach is the concept that the codependent adult's injured inner child needs healing. Recovery from codependence, therefore, involves clearing up the toxic emotions left over from these painful childhood experiences.
The Codependency Recovery Plan
Author: Krystal Mazzola
Publisher: Althea Press
ISBN: 9781641520836
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Break away and recover from patterns of codependency It could start as lending an occasional hand, but over time, escalates into putting someone else above everything else—even our own well-being. Balance is needed for healthy relationships with others and ourselves. The Codependency Recovery Plan presents an enlightening look at codependency, where it comes from, and a detailed pathway out. The Codependency Recovery Plan fully explains codependency, its symptoms, and the factors that contribute to its development. It offers guidance on ways to recognize codependent behavior, become a better communicator, set boundaries, mend romantic relationships, and raise your self-esteem. Chapter exercises provide a workspace for self-reflection so that you can see your situation with fresh eyes, and gain a new perspective on your own life. Independence starts with a step-by-step plan: Step 1: Get in Touch with Your “Self”—Learn to look inward and become self-reliant. Step 2: Prioritize Self-Care—Honor and value your own self-worth and be kind to yourself. Step 3: Build Boundaries—Set limits for giving your life and love to others. Step 4: Maintain Open Communication—Speak comfortably and confidently with your support network. Step 5: Nurture Intimacy—Create healthy and constructive connections. Start building a better relationship with yourself and the people around you using The Codependency Recovery Plan.
Publisher: Althea Press
ISBN: 9781641520836
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 0
Book Description
Break away and recover from patterns of codependency It could start as lending an occasional hand, but over time, escalates into putting someone else above everything else—even our own well-being. Balance is needed for healthy relationships with others and ourselves. The Codependency Recovery Plan presents an enlightening look at codependency, where it comes from, and a detailed pathway out. The Codependency Recovery Plan fully explains codependency, its symptoms, and the factors that contribute to its development. It offers guidance on ways to recognize codependent behavior, become a better communicator, set boundaries, mend romantic relationships, and raise your self-esteem. Chapter exercises provide a workspace for self-reflection so that you can see your situation with fresh eyes, and gain a new perspective on your own life. Independence starts with a step-by-step plan: Step 1: Get in Touch with Your “Self”—Learn to look inward and become self-reliant. Step 2: Prioritize Self-Care—Honor and value your own self-worth and be kind to yourself. Step 3: Build Boundaries—Set limits for giving your life and love to others. Step 4: Maintain Open Communication—Speak comfortably and confidently with your support network. Step 5: Nurture Intimacy—Create healthy and constructive connections. Start building a better relationship with yourself and the people around you using The Codependency Recovery Plan.
The New Codependency
Author: Melody Beattie
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439117691
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 289
Book Description
The New Codependency is an owner’s manual to learning to be who you are and gives you the tools necessary to reclaim your life by renouncing unhealthy practices. In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness. The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It’s about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated. Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior—caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc.—enabling us to personalize our own step-by-step guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439117691
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 289
Book Description
The New Codependency is an owner’s manual to learning to be who you are and gives you the tools necessary to reclaim your life by renouncing unhealthy practices. In Codependent No More, Melody Beattie introduced the world to the term codependency. Now a modern classic, this book established Beattie as a pioneer in self-help literature and endeared her to millions of readers who longed for healthier relationships. Twenty-five years later concepts such as self-care and setting boundaries have become entrenched in mainstream culture. Now Beattie has written a followup volume, The New Codependency, which clears up misconceptions about codependency, identifies how codependent behavior has changed, and provides a new generation with a road map to wellness. The question remains: What is and what is not codependency? Beattie here reminds us that much of codependency is normal behavior. It’s about crossing lines. There are times we do too much, care too much, feel too little, or overly engage. Feeling resentment after giving is not the same as heartfelt generosity. Narcissism and self-love, enabling and nurturing, and controlling and setting boundaries are not interchangeable terms. In The New Codependency, Beattie explores these differences, effectively invoking her own inspiring story and those of others, to empower us to step out of the victim role forever. Codependency, she shows, is not an illness but rather a series of behaviors that once broken down and analyzed can be successfully combated. Each section offers an overview of and a series of activities pertaining to a particular behavior—caretaking, controlling, manipulation, denial, repression, etc.—enabling us to personalize our own step-by-step guide to wellness. These sections, in conjunction with a series of tests allowing us to assess the level of our codependent behavior, demonstrate that while it may not seem possible now, we have the power to take care of ourselves, no matter what we are experiencing.
It Wasn't Your Fault
Author: Beverly Engel
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1626251010
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 199
Book Description
Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.
Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
ISBN: 1626251010
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 199
Book Description
Shame is one of the most destructive of human emotions. If you suffered childhood physical or sexual abuse, you may experience such intense feelings of shame that it almost seems to define you as a person. In order to begin healing, it’s important for you to know that it wasn’t your fault. In this gentle guide, therapist and childhood abuse expert Beverly Engel presents a mindfulness and compassion-based therapeutic approach to help you overcome the debilitating shame that keeps you tied to the past. By following the step-by-step exercises in this book, you’ll gain a greater understanding of the root cause of your shame. And by cultivating compassion toward yourself, you will begin to heal and move past your painful experiences. Recent studies show that trauma survivors, particularly those with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) resulting from abuse, can greatly benefit from incorporating elements of self-compassion into their treatment. Furthermore, the practice of self-compassion has been shown to decrease PTSD symptoms, including, self-criticism, thought suppression, and rumination. This book is based on the author’s powerful and effective Compassion Cure program. With this book, you will develop the skills needed to finally put a stop the crippling self-blame that keeps you from moving on and being happy. You’ll learn to focus on your strengths, your courage, and your extraordinary ability to survive. Most of all, you’ll learn to replace shame with its counter emotion—pride.
Escaping Emotional Abuse
Author: Beverly Engel
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806540508
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 370
Book Description
The world-renowned therapist and author of the groundbreaking self-help classic, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, delves into the most destructive and powerful weapon of the abuser: shame. And reveals its most powerful antidote... In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapist Beverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle, yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the most destructive technique the abuser uses to break our spirit and gain control--and guides readers on how to free themselves from the shame that can keep them from the life (and the love) they deserve. Emotionally abused people are gradually stripped of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity--making them feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But they possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps readers jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help heal, regain self-confidence--and ultimately become empowered enough to leave--for good. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships.
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806540508
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 370
Book Description
The world-renowned therapist and author of the groundbreaking self-help classic, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, delves into the most destructive and powerful weapon of the abuser: shame. And reveals its most powerful antidote... In The Emotionally Abused Woman, therapist Beverly Engel introduced the concept of emotional abuse, one of the most subtle, yet devastating forms of abuse within a relationship. Now Engel exposes the most destructive technique the abuser uses to break our spirit and gain control--and guides readers on how to free themselves from the shame that can keep them from the life (and the love) they deserve. Emotionally abused people are gradually stripped of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity--making them feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But they possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps readers jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help heal, regain self-confidence--and ultimately become empowered enough to leave--for good. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships.
Codependence and the Power of Detachment
Author: Karen Casey
Publisher: Mango Media Inc.
ISBN: 1642504467
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 132
Book Description
Find Boundaries and Peace from Codependent Behaviors “This book is bound to become a codependence classic. It should be required reading for all who seek to create healthy, balanced relationships.” –Claudia Black, PhD. Free yourself from codependency and reclaim your sanity, peace, and inner strength with this codependency book by Karen Casey, the bestselling author of Each Day a New Beginning. Learn how to value your own opinion over those of others. Codependency books are perfect for those of us who live as if what other people think matters more than what we think. This thinking leads to constantly trying to please or even to change others. Codependent behaviors can have negative effects on us and those around us, even leading to a dysfunctional family. It can be difficult to say no to those we love. A codependency book on improving your life through boundaries and peace. Karen Casey, bestselling author of Let Go Now and Each Day a New Beginning, has had her own experience with codependent behavior, and she is here to share what she has learned along the way. Through her own stories and the stories of those she has met through Al Anon meetings and elsewhere, she shows you how to detach from unhealthy codependency, create more positive relationships and, ultimately, lead a less stressful life. Inside, you’ll learn how to: Recognize and acknowledge your own attachments and codependency Set boundaries, find peace, and engage in healthy detachment Nurture positive relationships with the people in your life–both new and old If you liked codependency books such as The Language of Letting Go, Facing Codependence, or The Codependency Recovery Plan, you’ll love Codependence and the Power of Detachment.
Publisher: Mango Media Inc.
ISBN: 1642504467
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 132
Book Description
Find Boundaries and Peace from Codependent Behaviors “This book is bound to become a codependence classic. It should be required reading for all who seek to create healthy, balanced relationships.” –Claudia Black, PhD. Free yourself from codependency and reclaim your sanity, peace, and inner strength with this codependency book by Karen Casey, the bestselling author of Each Day a New Beginning. Learn how to value your own opinion over those of others. Codependency books are perfect for those of us who live as if what other people think matters more than what we think. This thinking leads to constantly trying to please or even to change others. Codependent behaviors can have negative effects on us and those around us, even leading to a dysfunctional family. It can be difficult to say no to those we love. A codependency book on improving your life through boundaries and peace. Karen Casey, bestselling author of Let Go Now and Each Day a New Beginning, has had her own experience with codependent behavior, and she is here to share what she has learned along the way. Through her own stories and the stories of those she has met through Al Anon meetings and elsewhere, she shows you how to detach from unhealthy codependency, create more positive relationships and, ultimately, lead a less stressful life. Inside, you’ll learn how to: Recognize and acknowledge your own attachments and codependency Set boundaries, find peace, and engage in healthy detachment Nurture positive relationships with the people in your life–both new and old If you liked codependency books such as The Language of Letting Go, Facing Codependence, or The Codependency Recovery Plan, you’ll love Codependence and the Power of Detachment.
Codependent No More
Author: Melody Beattie
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1592857922
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 155
Book Description
In a crisis, it's easy to revert to old patterns. Caring for your well-being during the coronavirus pandemic includes maintaining healthy boundaries and saying no to unhealthy relationships. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1592857922
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 155
Book Description
In a crisis, it's easy to revert to old patterns. Caring for your well-being during the coronavirus pandemic includes maintaining healthy boundaries and saying no to unhealthy relationships. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. Is someone else's problem your problem? If, like so many others, you've lost sight of your own life in the drama of tending to someone else's, you may be codependent--and you may find yourself in this book--Codependent No More. The healing touchstone of millions, this modern classic by one of America's best-loved and most inspirational authors holds the key to understanding codependency and to unlocking its stultifying hold on your life. With instructive life stories, personal reflections, exercises, and self-tests, Codependent No More is a simple, straightforward, readable map of the perplexing world of codependency--charting the path to freedom and a lifetime of healing, hope, and happiness. Melody Beattie is the author of Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, Stop Being Mean to Yourself, The Codependent No More Workbook and Playing It by Heart.
Guilt, Shame, and Anxiety
Author: Peter Roger Breggin
Publisher:
ISBN: 1616141492
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 320
Book Description
With the first unified theory of guilt, shame, and anxiety, this pioneering psychiatrist and critic of psychiatric diagnoses and drugs examines the causes and effects of psychological and emotional suffering from the perspective of biological evolution, child development, and mature adult decision-making. Drawing on evolution, neuroscience, and decades of clinical experience, Dr. Breggin analyzes what he calls our negative legacy emotions-the painful emotional heritage that encumbers all human beings. The author marshals evidence that we evolved as the most violent and yet most empathic creatures on Earth. Evolution dealt with this species-threatening conflict between our violence and our close-knit social life by building guilt, shame, and anxiety into our genes. These inhibiting emotions were needed prehistorically to control our self-assertiveness and aggression within intimate family and clan relationships. Dr. Breggin shows how guilt, shame, and anxiety eventually became self-defeating and demoralizing legacies from our primitive past, which no longer play any useful or positive role in mature adult life. He then guides the reader through the Three Steps to Emotional Freedom, starting with how to identify negative legacy emotions and then how to reject their control over us. Finally, he describes how to triumph over and transcend guilt, shame, and anxiety on the way to greater emotional freedom and a more rational, loving, and productive life.
Publisher:
ISBN: 1616141492
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 320
Book Description
With the first unified theory of guilt, shame, and anxiety, this pioneering psychiatrist and critic of psychiatric diagnoses and drugs examines the causes and effects of psychological and emotional suffering from the perspective of biological evolution, child development, and mature adult decision-making. Drawing on evolution, neuroscience, and decades of clinical experience, Dr. Breggin analyzes what he calls our negative legacy emotions-the painful emotional heritage that encumbers all human beings. The author marshals evidence that we evolved as the most violent and yet most empathic creatures on Earth. Evolution dealt with this species-threatening conflict between our violence and our close-knit social life by building guilt, shame, and anxiety into our genes. These inhibiting emotions were needed prehistorically to control our self-assertiveness and aggression within intimate family and clan relationships. Dr. Breggin shows how guilt, shame, and anxiety eventually became self-defeating and demoralizing legacies from our primitive past, which no longer play any useful or positive role in mature adult life. He then guides the reader through the Three Steps to Emotional Freedom, starting with how to identify negative legacy emotions and then how to reject their control over us. Finally, he describes how to triumph over and transcend guilt, shame, and anxiety on the way to greater emotional freedom and a more rational, loving, and productive life.