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Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191492
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

Book Description
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

Bloodsucking Fiends

Bloodsucking Fiends PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191492
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

Book Description
Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

You Suck

You Suck PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060590297
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 340

Book Description
Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, C. Thomas Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

Bite Me

Bite Me PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006198616X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352

Book Description
“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”

Fiends

Fiends PDF Author: John Farris
Publisher: Crossroad Press
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 522

Book Description
As a child in 1906, Arne Horsfall finds a sealed crate, addressed to a professor at a local college, that has fallen off a train. His father stores the object in the barn until the wayward professor can pick it up. But the crate operates like a Pandora's box on Arne and his mother; overcome with curiosity, they pry it open and unleash an evil spirit. Physically, the spirit looks like a mummified dark-skinned man--not, however, like a black man—and his mother recognizes it from the stories of her childhood as one of the huldufolk , the "unwashed children of Cain," evil and immortal. When the spirit awakens and escapes, Arne's life is changed forever. He senses them…waiting in the shadows. In the frozen pit of blackest hell, Death sleeps. Ravishing beyond words, evil beyond our darkest dreams of Satan, Her eyelids flutter. Rising from Her pit, She wakes her vampire brood—and frees them from their ancient graves. No, no one is safe, no one—from the unwashed Children of Eve.

Coyote Blue

Coyote Blue PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439191484
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 323

Book Description
This comic novel is “[a] whimsical fable of contemporary culture shock. . . . Tautly written with a zest for the absurd and the unpredictable” (The New York Times Book Review). As a boy, he was Samson Hunts Alone—until a deadly misunderstanding with the law forced him to flee the Crow reservation at age fifteen. Today he is Samuel Hunter, a successful Santa Barbara insurance salesman with a Mercedes, a condo, and a hollow, invented life. Then one day, destiny offers him the dangerous gift of love—in the exquisite form of Calliope Kincaid—and a curse in the unheralded appearance of an ancient god by the name of Coyote. Coyote, the trickster, has arrived to reawaken the mystical storyteller within Sam . . . and to seriously screw up his existence in the process. “Downright laugh-out-loud, can’t-put-the-book-down funny.” —The Philadelphia Inquirer “At once irreverent, spiritual, and wonderfully fresh in approach.” —Library Journal “Effectively mixing the mythic and the modern, Moore intersperses contemporary trickster tales with the comic saga of Sam’s evolution.” —Booklist “Funny and entertaining.” —Publishers Weekly

Suck It Up

Suck It Up PDF Author: Brian Meehl
Publisher: Delacorte Press
ISBN: 0375848940
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Book Description
ARE YOU UP to your neck in bloodsucking vampire stories? Tired of those tales about dentally enhanced dark lords? Before I wrote this book I thought all vampires were night-stalking, fangpopping, bloodsucking fiends. Then I met Morning McCobb. He’s a vegan vampire who drinks a soy-blood substitute called Blood Lite. He believes staking should be a hate crime. And someday he hopes to march in a Vampire Pride Parade. He was also the first vampire to out himself and try to show people of mortality, like you and me, that vampires are just another minority with special needs. Trust me—this is like no other vampire book you’ll ever feed on. So, as my buddy Morning says, “Pop the lid, and suck it up.”

A Dirty Job

A Dirty Job PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061801828
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 418

Book Description
Charlie Asher is a pretty normal guy with a normal life, married to a bright and pretty woman who actually loves him for his normalcy. They're even about to have their first child. Yes, Charlie's doing okay—until people start dropping dead around him, and everywhere he goes a dark presence whispers to him from under the streets. Charlie Asher, it seems, has been recruited for a new position: as Death. It's a dirty job. But, hey! Somebody's gotta do it.

Nuclear Jellyfish LP

Nuclear Jellyfish LP PDF Author: Tim Dorsey
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061719811
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 500

Book Description
As professional thieves begin targeting trade show exhibitors who may not be what they seem, Serge Storms launches an Internet travel site to lure unsuspecting tourists to Florida, only to catch the attention of his nemesis, Agent Mahoney.

Practical Demonkeeping

Practical Demonkeeping PDF Author: Christopher Moore
Publisher: Orbit Books
ISBN: 9781841497211
Category : Demonology
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and 'roads' scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets. Behind the fake Tudor façade of Pine Cove, California, Catch sees a four-star buffet. Travis, on the other hand, thinks he sees a way of ridding himself of his toothy travelling companion. The winos, neo-pagans, and deadbeat Lotharios of Pine Cove, meanwhile, have other ideas. And none of them is quite prepared when all hell breaks loose.

Straight Outta Fangton

Straight Outta Fangton PDF Author: C. T. Phipps
Publisher: Crossroad Press
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 220

Book Description
FROM THE BEST SELLING AUTHOR OF THE SUPERVILLAINY SAGA: Peter Stone is a poor black vampire who is wondering where his nightclub, mansion, and sports car are. Instead, he is working a minimum wage job during the night shift as being a vampire isn’t all that impressive in a world where they’ve come out to mortals. Exiled from the rich and powerful undead in New Detroit, he is forced to go back when someone dumps a newly-transformed vampire in the bathroom of his gas station’s store. This gets him fangs-deep in a plot of vampire hunters, supernatural revolutionaries, and a millennium-old French knight determined to wipe out the supernatural. Sometimes, it just doesn’t pay to get out of the coffin. Set in the same world as The Bright Falls Mysteries. *** "Straight Outta Fangton is a wonderful mix of urban fantasy, dark comedy and scary vampires. It reads very much like a thriller and whose pace will have you flipping pages as fast as you can. Charles Phipps is an author who is revealing himself to be a master of many genres as he continues to thrill and amaze." -The Fantasy Book Critic "I love a good vampire story. When that story is wrapped up in clever, comedic writing, the ride is an enjoyable one. Charles Phipps can weave a tale with believable characters that have distinctive personalities filled with charm and wit." -Briar Lee Mitchell, The Whistlebrass Horror "CT Phipps created a not just a fun story, but a fun world ripe for expansion and exploration." -Michael Gibson, Villains Rule "Not only is it a funny book, but it's a creepy vampire story, a kick-ass action novel, and an intriguing urban fantasy at the same time." - Beauty in Ruins "Full of fascinating characters and laughs." - James Alderdice, Brutal: An Epic Grimdark Fantasy "I heartily recommend this book to anyone who is into urban fantasy or likes a good supernatural romp." - The Bookwyrm Speaks