Author: Journals For Everyone
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781727487404
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 110
Book Description
This notebook/journal would make a great and original gag gift for someone's special birthday. Surprise them with this lined 6x9 notebook for them to fill with their thoughts or aspirations. Stand out by gifting something different and unique, it'd make a great addition to other gift. This is great as a journal or notebook perfect for you to write your own thoughts, get a little creative with poetry or just writing down lists or ideas. It is a 110 pages blank ruled journal ready for you to fill with your own writing and get a little creative every now and then. 110 pages of high quality paper (55 sheets) It can be used as a journal, notebook or just a composition book 6" x 9" Paperback notebook, soft matte cover Perfect for gel pen, ink or pencils Great size to carry everywhere in your bag, for work, high school, college... It will make a great gift for any special occasion: Christmas, Secret Santa, Birthday...
21st Birthday Funny Gift
Author: Journals For Everyone
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781727487404
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 110
Book Description
This notebook/journal would make a great and original gag gift for someone's special birthday. Surprise them with this lined 6x9 notebook for them to fill with their thoughts or aspirations. Stand out by gifting something different and unique, it'd make a great addition to other gift. This is great as a journal or notebook perfect for you to write your own thoughts, get a little creative with poetry or just writing down lists or ideas. It is a 110 pages blank ruled journal ready for you to fill with your own writing and get a little creative every now and then. 110 pages of high quality paper (55 sheets) It can be used as a journal, notebook or just a composition book 6" x 9" Paperback notebook, soft matte cover Perfect for gel pen, ink or pencils Great size to carry everywhere in your bag, for work, high school, college... It will make a great gift for any special occasion: Christmas, Secret Santa, Birthday...
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781727487404
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 110
Book Description
This notebook/journal would make a great and original gag gift for someone's special birthday. Surprise them with this lined 6x9 notebook for them to fill with their thoughts or aspirations. Stand out by gifting something different and unique, it'd make a great addition to other gift. This is great as a journal or notebook perfect for you to write your own thoughts, get a little creative with poetry or just writing down lists or ideas. It is a 110 pages blank ruled journal ready for you to fill with your own writing and get a little creative every now and then. 110 pages of high quality paper (55 sheets) It can be used as a journal, notebook or just a composition book 6" x 9" Paperback notebook, soft matte cover Perfect for gel pen, ink or pencils Great size to carry everywhere in your bag, for work, high school, college... It will make a great gift for any special occasion: Christmas, Secret Santa, Birthday...
101 Secrets For Your Twenties
Author: Paul Angone
Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN: 0802487718
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 260
Book Description
OVER 100,000 COPIES SOLD. OVER 1,000 POSITIVE REVIEWS. Every twentysomething needs a little black book of secrets.Our twenties are filled with confusion, terrible jobs, anticipation, disappointment, cubicles, break-ups, transition, quarter-life crisis, loneliness, post-college what the heck, moderate success sandwiched between complete failure. We need a worn and weathered guide stashed somewhere close by to help shed some light on this defining decade. That guide is this book. Expanded from the blog post "21 Secrets for Your 20s" that spread like Internet wildfire with nearly a million readers in 190 countries, 101 Secrets for Your Twenties will encourage, inspire, prompt a plethora of LOLs, and kick-start your life forward with its witty, honest, and hilarious wisdom-stuffed pearls to help you rock life in your twenties. This is the perfect gift for college graduation. Or the best Christmas present you can give to the 20-something in your life. For everyone and anyone who is struggling through becoming an adult ... You need 101 Secrets for Your Twenties.
Publisher: Moody Publishers
ISBN: 0802487718
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 260
Book Description
OVER 100,000 COPIES SOLD. OVER 1,000 POSITIVE REVIEWS. Every twentysomething needs a little black book of secrets.Our twenties are filled with confusion, terrible jobs, anticipation, disappointment, cubicles, break-ups, transition, quarter-life crisis, loneliness, post-college what the heck, moderate success sandwiched between complete failure. We need a worn and weathered guide stashed somewhere close by to help shed some light on this defining decade. That guide is this book. Expanded from the blog post "21 Secrets for Your 20s" that spread like Internet wildfire with nearly a million readers in 190 countries, 101 Secrets for Your Twenties will encourage, inspire, prompt a plethora of LOLs, and kick-start your life forward with its witty, honest, and hilarious wisdom-stuffed pearls to help you rock life in your twenties. This is the perfect gift for college graduation. Or the best Christmas present you can give to the 20-something in your life. For everyone and anyone who is struggling through becoming an adult ... You need 101 Secrets for Your Twenties.
Best. Movie. Year. Ever.
Author: Brian Raftery
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN: 1501175394
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 416
Book Description
From a veteran culture writer and modern movie expert, a celebration and analysis of the movies of 1999—“a terrifically fun snapshot of American film culture on the brink of the Millennium….An absolute must for any movie-lover or pop-culture nut” (Gillian Flynn). In 1999, Hollywood as we know it exploded: Fight Club. The Matrix. Office Space. Election. The Blair Witch Project. The Sixth Sense. Being John Malkovich. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. American Beauty. The Virgin Suicides. Boys Don’t Cry. The Best Man. Three Kings. Magnolia. Those are just some of the landmark titles released in a dizzying movie year, one in which a group of daring filmmakers and performers pushed cinema to new limits—and took audiences along for the ride. Freed from the restraints of budget, technology, or even taste, they produced a slew of classics that took on every topic imaginable, from sex to violence to the end of the world. The result was a highly unruly, deeply influential set of films that would not only change filmmaking, but also give us our first glimpse of the coming twenty-first century. It was a watershed moment that also produced The Sopranos; Apple’s AirPort; Wi-Fi; and Netflix’s unlimited DVD rentals. “A spirited celebration of the year’s movies” (Kirkus Reviews), Best. Movie. Year. Ever. is the story of not just how these movies were made, but how they re-made our own vision of the world. It features more than 130 new and exclusive interviews with such directors and actors as Reese Witherspoon, Edward Norton, Steven Soderbergh, Sofia Coppola, David Fincher, Nia Long, Matthew Broderick, Taye Diggs, M. Night Shyamalan, David O. Russell, James Van Der Beek, Kirsten Dunst, the Blair Witch kids, the Office Space dudes, the guy who played Jar-Jar Binks, and dozens more. It’s “the complete portrait of what it was like to spend a year inside a movie theater at the best possible moment in time” (Chuck Klosterman).
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
ISBN: 1501175394
Category : Performing Arts
Languages : en
Pages : 416
Book Description
From a veteran culture writer and modern movie expert, a celebration and analysis of the movies of 1999—“a terrifically fun snapshot of American film culture on the brink of the Millennium….An absolute must for any movie-lover or pop-culture nut” (Gillian Flynn). In 1999, Hollywood as we know it exploded: Fight Club. The Matrix. Office Space. Election. The Blair Witch Project. The Sixth Sense. Being John Malkovich. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. American Beauty. The Virgin Suicides. Boys Don’t Cry. The Best Man. Three Kings. Magnolia. Those are just some of the landmark titles released in a dizzying movie year, one in which a group of daring filmmakers and performers pushed cinema to new limits—and took audiences along for the ride. Freed from the restraints of budget, technology, or even taste, they produced a slew of classics that took on every topic imaginable, from sex to violence to the end of the world. The result was a highly unruly, deeply influential set of films that would not only change filmmaking, but also give us our first glimpse of the coming twenty-first century. It was a watershed moment that also produced The Sopranos; Apple’s AirPort; Wi-Fi; and Netflix’s unlimited DVD rentals. “A spirited celebration of the year’s movies” (Kirkus Reviews), Best. Movie. Year. Ever. is the story of not just how these movies were made, but how they re-made our own vision of the world. It features more than 130 new and exclusive interviews with such directors and actors as Reese Witherspoon, Edward Norton, Steven Soderbergh, Sofia Coppola, David Fincher, Nia Long, Matthew Broderick, Taye Diggs, M. Night Shyamalan, David O. Russell, James Van Der Beek, Kirsten Dunst, the Blair Witch kids, the Office Space dudes, the guy who played Jar-Jar Binks, and dozens more. It’s “the complete portrait of what it was like to spend a year inside a movie theater at the best possible moment in time” (Chuck Klosterman).
60 Things to Do When You Turn 60 Years Old
Author: Elaine Benton
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781955149259
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 136
Book Description
Celebrate the Extravagance of Turning 60: The Magical Age to Enjoy Every Little Thing That Makes You Happy Without Worrying About What People Will Think Why stress when you can be your powerful self when turning 60? Finally, it's time to take complete control of your life and learn to love everything about yourself. Amidst the chaos of life and hectic schedules, when was the last time you prioritized your dreams over your duties without worrying about the consequences it brings? If nothing rings a bell, now is the time to rejuvenate yourself by doing things that makes you feel happy. But here's the problem you face: With years of constant responsibilities, regulations, and routines, your brain resists following the path of change and stays ingrained in its existing habits. As a result, you are afraid to take the leap towards your freedom and ecstasy, which will eventually haunt a part of your heart for not making the most out of your precious life. But luckily for you, there's now a solution. Let me introduce you to this book with the thoughtful assortment of 60 simple but impactful things to do when you turn 60. A sneak peek of the ideas emphasized in this book: Travel to places you have never been to and let yourself be exposed to different cultures while engaging with strangers and experiencing new activities to start life anew. Revive an old hobby or start a new one, for it's never too late to read a new book, start a new blog, teach a class, or throw a grand party. Be practical and make preparations for the greater good. Make a will, enroll in a medicare plan, pay off debt, and start working out to get even more fit! Feed your spiritual side, and do something for others while expressing your thanks to all the people who made your life easier with their presence. And much, much more. Age is number only a number if you are determined to kickstart a new pursuit and enjoy your life to the fullest. If you're willing to embrace change and hit milestones on your 60th birthday, this book will get you started to your golden years. Scroll up, click on "Buy Now", and Get Your Copy Now!
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781955149259
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 136
Book Description
Celebrate the Extravagance of Turning 60: The Magical Age to Enjoy Every Little Thing That Makes You Happy Without Worrying About What People Will Think Why stress when you can be your powerful self when turning 60? Finally, it's time to take complete control of your life and learn to love everything about yourself. Amidst the chaos of life and hectic schedules, when was the last time you prioritized your dreams over your duties without worrying about the consequences it brings? If nothing rings a bell, now is the time to rejuvenate yourself by doing things that makes you feel happy. But here's the problem you face: With years of constant responsibilities, regulations, and routines, your brain resists following the path of change and stays ingrained in its existing habits. As a result, you are afraid to take the leap towards your freedom and ecstasy, which will eventually haunt a part of your heart for not making the most out of your precious life. But luckily for you, there's now a solution. Let me introduce you to this book with the thoughtful assortment of 60 simple but impactful things to do when you turn 60. A sneak peek of the ideas emphasized in this book: Travel to places you have never been to and let yourself be exposed to different cultures while engaging with strangers and experiencing new activities to start life anew. Revive an old hobby or start a new one, for it's never too late to read a new book, start a new blog, teach a class, or throw a grand party. Be practical and make preparations for the greater good. Make a will, enroll in a medicare plan, pay off debt, and start working out to get even more fit! Feed your spiritual side, and do something for others while expressing your thanks to all the people who made your life easier with their presence. And much, much more. Age is number only a number if you are determined to kickstart a new pursuit and enjoy your life to the fullest. If you're willing to embrace change and hit milestones on your 60th birthday, this book will get you started to your golden years. Scroll up, click on "Buy Now", and Get Your Copy Now!
School, Family, and Community Partnerships
Author: Joyce L. Epstein
Publisher: Corwin Press
ISBN: 1483320014
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 508
Book Description
Strengthen programs of family and community engagement to promote equity and increase student success! When schools, families, and communities collaborate and share responsibility for students′ education, more students succeed in school. Based on 30 years of research and fieldwork, the fourth edition of the bestseller School, Family, and Community Partnerships: Your Handbook for Action, presents tools and guidelines to help develop more effective and more equitable programs of family and community engagement. Written by a team of well-known experts, it provides a theory and framework of six types of involvement for action; up-to-date research on school, family, and community collaboration; and new materials for professional development and on-going technical assistance. Readers also will find: Examples of best practices on the six types of involvement from preschools, and elementary, middle, and high schools Checklists, templates, and evaluations to plan goal-linked partnership programs and assess progress CD-ROM with slides and notes for two presentations: A new awareness session to orient colleagues on the major components of a research-based partnership program, and a full One-Day Team Training Workshop to prepare school teams to develop their partnership programs. As a foundational text, this handbook demonstrates a proven approach to implement and sustain inclusive, goal-linked programs of partnership. It shows how a good partnership program is an essential component of good school organization and school improvement for student success. This book will help every district and all schools strengthen and continually improve their programs of family and community engagement.
Publisher: Corwin Press
ISBN: 1483320014
Category : Education
Languages : en
Pages : 508
Book Description
Strengthen programs of family and community engagement to promote equity and increase student success! When schools, families, and communities collaborate and share responsibility for students′ education, more students succeed in school. Based on 30 years of research and fieldwork, the fourth edition of the bestseller School, Family, and Community Partnerships: Your Handbook for Action, presents tools and guidelines to help develop more effective and more equitable programs of family and community engagement. Written by a team of well-known experts, it provides a theory and framework of six types of involvement for action; up-to-date research on school, family, and community collaboration; and new materials for professional development and on-going technical assistance. Readers also will find: Examples of best practices on the six types of involvement from preschools, and elementary, middle, and high schools Checklists, templates, and evaluations to plan goal-linked partnership programs and assess progress CD-ROM with slides and notes for two presentations: A new awareness session to orient colleagues on the major components of a research-based partnership program, and a full One-Day Team Training Workshop to prepare school teams to develop their partnership programs. As a foundational text, this handbook demonstrates a proven approach to implement and sustain inclusive, goal-linked programs of partnership. It shows how a good partnership program is an essential component of good school organization and school improvement for student success. This book will help every district and all schools strengthen and continually improve their programs of family and community engagement.
Never Let Me Go
Author: Kazuo Ishiguro
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 0307371336
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 274
Book Description
NOBEL PRIZE WINNER • The moving, suspenseful, beautifully atmospheric modern classic from the acclaimed author of The Remains of the Day and Klara and the Sun—“a Gothic tour de force" (The New York Times) with an extraordinary twist. “Brilliantly executed.” —Margaret Atwood “A page-turner and a heartbreaker.” —TIME “Masterly.” —Sunday Times As children, Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy were students at Hailsham, an exclusive boarding school secluded in the English countryside. It was a place of mercurial cliques and mysterious rules where teachers were constantly reminding their charges of how special they were. Now, years later, Kathy is a young woman. Ruth and Tommy have reentered her life. And for the first time she is beginning to look back at their shared past and understand just what it is that makes them special—and how that gift will shape the rest of their time together.
Publisher: Vintage Canada
ISBN: 0307371336
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 274
Book Description
NOBEL PRIZE WINNER • The moving, suspenseful, beautifully atmospheric modern classic from the acclaimed author of The Remains of the Day and Klara and the Sun—“a Gothic tour de force" (The New York Times) with an extraordinary twist. “Brilliantly executed.” —Margaret Atwood “A page-turner and a heartbreaker.” —TIME “Masterly.” —Sunday Times As children, Kathy, Ruth, and Tommy were students at Hailsham, an exclusive boarding school secluded in the English countryside. It was a place of mercurial cliques and mysterious rules where teachers were constantly reminding their charges of how special they were. Now, years later, Kathy is a young woman. Ruth and Tommy have reentered her life. And for the first time she is beginning to look back at their shared past and understand just what it is that makes them special—and how that gift will shape the rest of their time together.
A Stick in the Dirt
Author: Vidit Uppal
Publisher: One Point Six Technologies Pvt Ltd
ISBN: 8194804426
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 266
Book Description
Saurabh’s birth is celebrated across the town of Konkur, where people rejoice in the arrival of the much-admired Vinod and Shashi Parashars’ first offspring. Soon, their neighbour’s 5-year-old daughter Vidya is entrusted with the responsibility of Saurabh’s daily wellbeing. They grow up together among the secluded trees, hills and narrow roads of the small town, spending much of their time in an abandoned graveyard they discover near their homes. But when Saurabh starts showing signs of trouble, their seemingly idyllic world begins to quickly unravel. As the incidents become more frequent and violent, he is brandished a pariah by the very people who had once held him aloft. Vidya, Shashi and Vinod’s struggle to come to terms with Saurabh’s impulses, becomes the uncomfortable thread that binds them together and leads them to re-evaluate their own lives and relationships. Traversing through the realms of guilt and solitude, A Stick in the Dirt attempts to grapple with the uncomfortable nature of the unknown and with what it means to be misunderstood by those closest to us.
Publisher: One Point Six Technologies Pvt Ltd
ISBN: 8194804426
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 266
Book Description
Saurabh’s birth is celebrated across the town of Konkur, where people rejoice in the arrival of the much-admired Vinod and Shashi Parashars’ first offspring. Soon, their neighbour’s 5-year-old daughter Vidya is entrusted with the responsibility of Saurabh’s daily wellbeing. They grow up together among the secluded trees, hills and narrow roads of the small town, spending much of their time in an abandoned graveyard they discover near their homes. But when Saurabh starts showing signs of trouble, their seemingly idyllic world begins to quickly unravel. As the incidents become more frequent and violent, he is brandished a pariah by the very people who had once held him aloft. Vidya, Shashi and Vinod’s struggle to come to terms with Saurabh’s impulses, becomes the uncomfortable thread that binds them together and leads them to re-evaluate their own lives and relationships. Traversing through the realms of guilt and solitude, A Stick in the Dirt attempts to grapple with the uncomfortable nature of the unknown and with what it means to be misunderstood by those closest to us.
Transforming the Workforce for Children Birth Through Age 8
Author: National Research Council
Publisher: National Academies Press
ISBN: 0309324882
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 587
Book Description
Children are already learning at birth, and they develop and learn at a rapid pace in their early years. This provides a critical foundation for lifelong progress, and the adults who provide for the care and the education of young children bear a great responsibility for their health, development, and learning. Despite the fact that they share the same objective - to nurture young children and secure their future success - the various practitioners who contribute to the care and the education of children from birth through age 8 are not acknowledged as a workforce unified by the common knowledge and competencies needed to do their jobs well. Transforming the Workforce for Children Birth Through Age 8 explores the science of child development, particularly looking at implications for the professionals who work with children. This report examines the current capacities and practices of the workforce, the settings in which they work, the policies and infrastructure that set qualifications and provide professional learning, and the government agencies and other funders who support and oversee these systems. This book then makes recommendations to improve the quality of professional practice and the practice environment for care and education professionals. These detailed recommendations create a blueprint for action that builds on a unifying foundation of child development and early learning, shared knowledge and competencies for care and education professionals, and principles for effective professional learning. Young children thrive and learn best when they have secure, positive relationships with adults who are knowledgeable about how to support their development and learning and are responsive to their individual progress. Transforming the Workforce for Children Birth Through Age 8 offers guidance on system changes to improve the quality of professional practice, specific actions to improve professional learning systems and workforce development, and research to continue to build the knowledge base in ways that will directly advance and inform future actions. The recommendations of this book provide an opportunity to improve the quality of the care and the education that children receive, and ultimately improve outcomes for children.
Publisher: National Academies Press
ISBN: 0309324882
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 587
Book Description
Children are already learning at birth, and they develop and learn at a rapid pace in their early years. This provides a critical foundation for lifelong progress, and the adults who provide for the care and the education of young children bear a great responsibility for their health, development, and learning. Despite the fact that they share the same objective - to nurture young children and secure their future success - the various practitioners who contribute to the care and the education of children from birth through age 8 are not acknowledged as a workforce unified by the common knowledge and competencies needed to do their jobs well. Transforming the Workforce for Children Birth Through Age 8 explores the science of child development, particularly looking at implications for the professionals who work with children. This report examines the current capacities and practices of the workforce, the settings in which they work, the policies and infrastructure that set qualifications and provide professional learning, and the government agencies and other funders who support and oversee these systems. This book then makes recommendations to improve the quality of professional practice and the practice environment for care and education professionals. These detailed recommendations create a blueprint for action that builds on a unifying foundation of child development and early learning, shared knowledge and competencies for care and education professionals, and principles for effective professional learning. Young children thrive and learn best when they have secure, positive relationships with adults who are knowledgeable about how to support their development and learning and are responsive to their individual progress. Transforming the Workforce for Children Birth Through Age 8 offers guidance on system changes to improve the quality of professional practice, specific actions to improve professional learning systems and workforce development, and research to continue to build the knowledge base in ways that will directly advance and inform future actions. The recommendations of this book provide an opportunity to improve the quality of the care and the education that children receive, and ultimately improve outcomes for children.
Sexual Violence and Armed Conflict
Author: Janie L. Leatherman
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 0745658350
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 178
Book Description
Every year, hundreds of thousands of women become victims of sexual violence in conflict zones around the world; in the Democratic Republic of Congo alone, approximately 1,100 rapes are reported each month. This book offers a comprehensive analysis of the causes, consequences and responses to sexual violence in contemporary armed conflict. It explores the function and effect of wartime sexual violence and examines the conditions that make women and girls most vulnerable to these acts both before, during and after conflict. To understand the motivations of the men (and occasionally women) who perpetrate this violence, the book analyzes the role played by systemic and situational factors such as patriarchy and militarized masculinity. Difficult questions of accountability are tackled; in particular, the case of child soldiers, who often suffer a double victimization when forced to commit sexual atrocities. The book concludes by looking at strategies of prevention and protection as well as new programs being set up on the ground to support the rehabilitation of survivors and their communities. Sexual violence in war has long been a taboo subject but, as this book shows, new and courageous steps are at last being taken Ð at both local and international level - to end what has been called the “greatest silence in history”.
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 0745658350
Category : Political Science
Languages : en
Pages : 178
Book Description
Every year, hundreds of thousands of women become victims of sexual violence in conflict zones around the world; in the Democratic Republic of Congo alone, approximately 1,100 rapes are reported each month. This book offers a comprehensive analysis of the causes, consequences and responses to sexual violence in contemporary armed conflict. It explores the function and effect of wartime sexual violence and examines the conditions that make women and girls most vulnerable to these acts both before, during and after conflict. To understand the motivations of the men (and occasionally women) who perpetrate this violence, the book analyzes the role played by systemic and situational factors such as patriarchy and militarized masculinity. Difficult questions of accountability are tackled; in particular, the case of child soldiers, who often suffer a double victimization when forced to commit sexual atrocities. The book concludes by looking at strategies of prevention and protection as well as new programs being set up on the ground to support the rehabilitation of survivors and their communities. Sexual violence in war has long been a taboo subject but, as this book shows, new and courageous steps are at last being taken Ð at both local and international level - to end what has been called the “greatest silence in history”.
How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man
Author: Mary McHugh
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740781553
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 146
Book Description
Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740781553
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 146
Book Description
Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.