The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes PDF Download

Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435904
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Author: Tamsyn Muir
Publisher: Tordotcom
ISBN: 1250313201
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 452

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Book Description
Harrow the Ninth, an Amazon pick for Best SFF of 2020 and the New York Times and USA Today bestselling sequel to Gideon the Ninth, turns a galaxy inside out as one necromancer struggles to survive the wreckage of herself aboard the Emperor's haunted space station. The Locked Tomb is a 2023 Hugo Award Finalist for Best Series! “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space! Decadent nobles vie to serve the deathless emperor! Skeletons!” —Charles Stross on Gideon the Ninth “Unlike anything I've ever read.” —V.E. Schwab on Gideon the Ninth “Deft, tense and atmospheric, compellingly immersive and wildly original.” —The New York Times on Gideon the Ninth She answered the Emperor's call. She arrived with her arts, her wits, and her only friend. In victory, her world has turned to ash. After rocking the cosmos with her deathly debut, Tamsyn Muir continues the story of the penumbral Ninth House in Harrow the Ninth, a mind-twisting puzzle box of mystery, murder, magic, and mayhem. Nothing is as it seems in the halls of the Emperor, and the fate of the galaxy rests on one woman's shoulders. Harrowhark Nonagesimus, last necromancer of the Ninth House, has been drafted by her Emperor to fight an unwinnable war. Side-by-side with a detested rival, Harrow must perfect her skills and become an angel of undeath — but her health is failing, her sword makes her nauseous, and even her mind is threatening to betray her. Sealed in the gothic gloom of the Emperor's Mithraeum with three unfriendly teachers, hunted by the mad ghost of a murdered planet, Harrow must confront two unwelcome questions: is somebody trying to kill her? And if they succeeded, would the universe be better off? THE LOCKED TOMB SERIES BOOK 1: Gideon the Ninth BOOK 2: Harrow the Ninth BOOK 3: Nona the Ninth BOOK 4: Alecto the Ninth At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Author: Willow Creek Press
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781682348338
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
The dad joke is a delicate thing. Part knowing humor, part lack of humor, it's only requirement is that it elicits not a laugh from its audience but the annoyed response: "Daaaaaaaaad." Bad Dad Jokes is the biggest, baddest collection of "so bad they're actually good" jokes that are guaranteed to deliver a daily dose of groans and giggles. Bad Dad Jokes is a one of a kind collection of extraordinary humor in one book. By giving this collection as a gift you will bring humor and lasting memories to events for years to come.

Author: Raphael Bob-Waksberg
Publisher: Vintage
ISBN: 1524732028
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
Written with all the scathing dark humor that is a hallmark of BoJack Horseman, Raphael Bob-Waksberg delivers a fabulously off-beat collection of short stories about love—the best and worst thing in the universe. Featuring: • A young engaged couple forced to deal with interfering relatives dictating the appropriate number of ritual goat sacrifices for their wedding. • A pair of lonely commuters who ride the subway in silence, forever, eternally failing to make that longed-for contact. • A struggling employee at a theme park of U.S. presidents who discovers that love can’t be genetically modified. And fifteen more tales of humor, romance, whimsy, cultural commentary, and crushing emotional vulnerability.

Author: Tom Papa
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1250144388
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 303

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Book Description
Stand-up comedian and family man Tom Papa explores how we deal with our inescapable relatives and their bizarre behavior. A warm, hilarious book that saws deep into every branch of the family tree and uncovers the most hysterical and surprisingly meaningful aspects of our lives.

Author: Tamsyn Muir
Publisher: Tordotcom
ISBN: 1250313171
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 374

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Book Description
Gideon the Ninth is the first book in the New York Times and USA Today Bestselling Locked Tomb Series, and one of the Best Books of 2019 according to NPR, the New York Public Library, Amazon, BookPage, Shelf Awareness, BookRiot, and Bustle! WINNER of the 2020 Locus Award and Crawford Award Finalist for the 2023 Hugo Award for Best Series! Finalist for the 2020 Hugo, Nebula, Dragon, and World Fantasy Awards “Unlike anything I’ve ever read. ” —V.E. Schwab “Lesbian necromancers explore a haunted gothic palace in space!” —Charles Stross “Deft, tense and atmospheric, compellingly immersive and wildly original.” —The New York Times The Emperor needs necromancers. The Ninth Necromancer needs a swordswoman. Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead nonsense. Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap off the page, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse. She packs up her sword, her shoes, and her dirty magazines, and prepares to launch her daring escape. But her childhood nemesis won’t set her free without a service. Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Reverend Daughter of the Ninth House and bone witch extraordinaire, has been summoned into action. The Emperor has invited the heirs to each of his loyal Houses to a deadly trial of wits and skill. If Harrowhark succeeds she will be become an immortal, all-powerful servant of the Resurrection, but no necromancer can ascend without their cavalier. Without Gideon’s sword, Harrow will fail, and the Ninth House will die. Of course, some things are better left dead. THE LOCKED TOMB SERIES BOOK 1: Gideon the Ninth BOOK 2: Harrow the Ninth BOOK 3: Nona the Ninth BOOK 4: Alecto the Ninth At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Author: Jon Acuff
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310110122
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 209

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Book Description
Using the same humor and honesty that galvanized more than a million online readers from more than 200 countries, speaker Jon Acuff brings his insightful take on Christianity to the book world with this new edition of Stuff Christians Like. Do you constantly find yourself towing the fine line between praying before certain types of meals and not others? This book is for you. Have you fallen in love on a mission trip, just to break up when you get home? This book is for you. Are you a unicorn of purity who ranks honeymoon sex slightly higher than the second coming of Christ? Guess what – this book is for you, too. It’s time to shake off Somber Christian Syndrome and embrace the quirks of being a member of God’s kingdom. This book will teach you how to: Break up with your small group Subtly find out if your new Christian friends drink beer too Recognize the shame grenade that is a Jesus Juke Avoid a prayer handholding faux pas Say something Christian-y without looking like a snake handler From prayer shot blocks to metro worship leaders, no stone is left unturned in this hilarious look at faith. “I never knew how much I needed Jesus until I found out I was judging people who use the table of contents in their Bible. This book saved me from looking like a bad Christian.” – Sister Mary Francis, Rhode Island. “It’s such a time saver to know that my Chick-fil-a from the drive-thru comes pre-blessed. I always knew I was making the right choice by choosing the Lord’s chicken.” – Dave L., South Carolina.

Author: Sophie Cousens
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593191218
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 369

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Book Description
THE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER IS NOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE! A GOOD MORNING AMERICA BOOK CLUB PICK Their lives began together, but their worlds couldn't be more different. After thirty years of missed connections, they're about to meet again... Minnie Cooper knows two things with certainty: that her New Year's birthday is unlucky, and that it's all because of Quinn Hamilton, a man she's never met. Their mothers gave birth to them at the same hospital just after midnight on New Year's Day, but Quinn was given the cash prize for being the first baby born in London in 1990--and the name Minnie was meant to have, as well. With luck like that, it's no wonder each of her birthdays has been more of a disaster than the one before. When Minnie unexpectedly runs into Quinn at a New Year's party on their mutual thirtieth birthday, she sees only more evidence that fortune has continued to favor him. The gorgeous, charming business owner truly seems to have it all--while Minnie's on the brink of losing her pie-making company and her home. But if Quinn and Minnie are from different worlds, why do they keep bumping into each other? And why is it that each fraught encounter leaves them both wanting more? A moving, joyful love story, This Time Next Year explores the way fate leads us to the people we least expect--no matter what the odds.

Author: Kristy Cunning
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781097722136
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
I'm not all that special, really. Or uncommon. I'm sure there are a lot of girls with old gypsy blood who see the dead, have killer cults hunting their family, and turn into something that gets scary when they panic. Yep. Completely unoriginal, if I do say so myself.Move along. Nothing to see here. Nope. I'm just an ordinary girl.I wish people would believe that.I've been labeled as one thing or another for most of my life:Death Girl.Crazy Gypsy Girl.Gothic Chick.Monster...It took my mother's death for me to finally start getting answers about what's really been going on. Unfortunately, most of the answers come from men...who aren't just men. Somehow, I've gone and landed myself in a world truly filled with monsters, and I'm starting to think this is where I should have been all along.Only...I don't understand what's going on. I'm walking into the middle of a story that's thousands of years old, and I'm the new girl on the block who doesn't have a clue how this world even works. My only guides happen to be the most lethal of the bunch.They decide who lives or dies. They decide who gets stabbed or tortured.Yeah...I've gone and drawn attention to myself, and the ones paying attention are the ones everyone else seems to fear.How do these things always happen to me?**Reverse Harem**Language warning**Sexual content**Dark Humor

Author: Stephen E. Kidd
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 1107050154
Category : Drama
Languages : en
Pages : 215

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Book Description
This book employs the concept of 'nonsense' to explore those parts of Greek comedy perceived as 'just silly' and therefore 'not meaningful'.