What I Lick Before Your Face ... and Other Haikus By Dogs PDF Download

Author: Jamie Coleman
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473563623
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
You may take my balls But I will lick what remains And then, dear, your face Imagine if your dog could talk to you. Better still, imagine if it could express its innermost feelings in poetic form. This hilarious, insightful book confirms what we've all long suspected - that inside every dog is the soul of a poet. From retrieving sticks to rivalry with cats; from cold winter walks to endlessly chasing tennis balls, no stone of a dog's life is left unturned. With a delightful photo alongside every haiku, this is the perfect gift for any dog lover.

Author: Jamie Coleman
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473572312
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
From the author of What I Lick Before Your Face comes this hilarious companion, Please Stop Touching Me ... and Other Haikus by Cats. Jamie Coleman returns with this brilliant collection of feline flights of fancy. His hilarious haikus take us inside the minds of our most popular pets revealing their inner-most secrets, their disdain for their owners and the poetry that is common to all cats. Featuring over 50 haikus complete with glorious images, this is a hysterical gift for cat lovers, cat haters, and poetry enthusiasts alike.

Author: Jamie Coleman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982127457
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
“The one book every dog lover should have at their fingertips for an instant smile.” —The New Barker The perfect gift for dog lovers everywhere—a heartwarming and hilarious collection of sixty-four haikus and gorgeous color photographs celebrating man’s best friend. From the perks of face licking to considering what constitutes a good boy, these charming and laugh-out-loud funny haikus take us into the minds of our beloved pets. Capturing the quirky personalities of our dogs and their unique bond with us and illustrated throughout with adorable color photographs of dogs of all shapes and sizes, What I Lick Before Your Face is a fun and loving celebration of the canine spirit. Playing I do not believe That your fixation with my Playing Dead is fine Standing I sometimes feel bad That I don’t get as happy Whenever you sit The Outside Bell It is very rude That you don’t call out in joy When people arrive

Author: Laurell K. Hamilton
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 034550223X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 289

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Book Description
I am Meredith Gentry, princess and heir apparent to the throne in the realm of faerie, onetime private investigator in the mortal world. To be crowned queen, I must first continue the royal bloodline and give birth to an heir of my own. If I fail, my aunt, Queen Andais, will be free to do what she most desires: install her twisted son, Cel, as monarch . . . and kill me. My royal guards surround me, and my best loved–my Darkness and my Killing Frost–are always beside me, sworn to protect and make love to me. But still the threat grows greater. For despite all my carnal efforts, I remain childless, while the machinations of my sinister, sadistic Queen and her confederates remain tireless. So my bodyguards and I have slipped back into Los Angeles, hoping to outrun the gathering shadows of court intrigue. But even exile isn’t enough to escape the grasp of those with dark designs. Now King Taranis, powerful and vainglorious ruler of faerie’s Seelie Court, has leveled accusations against my noble guards of a heinous crime–and has gone so far as to ask the mortal authorities to prosecute. If he succeeds, my men face extradition to faerie and the hideous penalties that await them there. But I know that Taranis’s charges are baseless, and I sense that his true target is me. He tried to kill me when I was a child. Now I fear his intentions are far more terrifying.

Author: Terry Bain
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307549933
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
A hilarious, captivating commentary that gives us--finally--a true dog’s-eye view of the world. • The Sofa: “The sofa is Position One. The sofa makes you feel as if you are with your people even when your people are gone.” • The Toilet: “The advantage of drinking from the toilet is that the water is always fresh.” • The Baby: “Often known as She Who Randomly Flings Food from the Table, the baby has the most flavorful, ever-changing face of all your people.” “After reading You Are a Dog, you will start thinking like a dog.” --Bash Dibra, celebrity pet trainer and author of DogSpeak “You Are a Dog should be the talk of every dog run in the U.S. With humor, and more bite than one might expect, Terry Bain helps us to see the world through the eyes of our dogs, and to look at their lives in fresh and insightful ways.” --Jon Katz, author of A Dog Year, The New Work of Dogs, and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm “Terry Bain has cracked the canine code to demystify those charming, endearing, and occasionally bizarre habits our beloved dogs exhibit. You Are a Dog is equal parts witty and warm, sweet and sympathetic--read this and be destined to meet your dog at a richer, deeper level.”--Dr. Marty Becker, veterinary contributor for Good Morning America, author of The Healing Power of Pets

Author: Idan Ben-Barak
Publisher:
ISBN: 1250175364
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 22

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Book Description
From highly respected microbiologist Ben-Barak and Frost, the creator of the YouTube sensation Dumb Ways to Die, comes an ingenious, interactive book about the germs that occupy real estate on all of our bodies. Full color.

Author: John Grogan
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061793558
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 323

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Book Description
The heartwarming and unforgettable story of a family and the wondrously neurotic dog who taught them what really matters in life. Now with photos and new material. Is it possible for humans to discover the key to happiness through a bigger-than-life, bad-boy dog? Just ask the Grogans. John and Jenny were just beginning their life together. They were young and in love, with not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same. Marley grew into a barreling, ninety-seven-pound streamroller of a Labrador retriever. He crashed through screen doors, gouged through drywall, and stole women's undergarments. Obedience school did no good -- Marley was expelled. But just as Marley joyfully refused any limits on his behavior, his love and loyalty were boundless, too. Marley remained a model of devotion, even when his family was at its wit's end. Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms. Marley & Me is John Grogan's funny, unforgettable tribute to this wonderful, wildly neurotic Lab and the meaning he brought to their lives.

Author: Cherry Vanilla
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 156976803X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 305

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Book Description
Steeped in sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll, Lick Me takes the reader on a juicy journey through the life and times of the infamous Cherry Vanilla. A wunderkind on Madison Avenue in the swinging sixties, Cherry soon found fame as a DJ in clubs in Manhattan and on the French Riviera. She starred in Andy Warhol's play Pork in London while gaining notoriety as a groupie, sleeping with musicians ranging from Leon Russell to Kris Kristofferson. Working as David Bowie's PR lady (and occasional lover), she played a major part in introducing him to the U.S. market. She was on the front lines when punk broke, one of the few successful women in the genre; her backing band was the Police, and she released two insouciant albums on RCA. Cherry's memoir takes us on a journey from the birth of rock to the explosion of punk, exploring every aspect of the music industry during its most electrifying era, with memorable detours through the sexual revolution, the women's liberation movement, and the theater of the ridiculous. But Cherry's life wasn't all excitement and high times. From unwanted pregnancies to poverty and public ridicule, Lick Me also takes us through Cherry's own problems, including sex addiction and OCD, and reveals how she dealt with them. Lick Me reveals the thrilling life of a woman who pulled herself up from humble beginnings and fearlessly lived her dreams.

Author: Woody Allen
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1951627377
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 312

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Book Description
The Long-Awaited, Enormously Entertaining Memoir by One of the Great Artists of Our Time—Now a New York Times, USA Today, Los Angeles Times, and Publisher’s Weekly Bestseller. In this candid and often hilarious memoir, the celebrated director, comedian, writer, and actor offers a comprehensive, personal look at his tumultuous life. Beginning with his Brooklyn childhood and his stint as a writer for the Sid Caesar variety show in the early days of television, working alongside comedy greats, Allen tells of his difficult early days doing standup before he achieved recognition and success. With his unique storytelling pizzazz, he recounts his departure into moviemaking, with such slapstick comedies as Take the Money and Run, and revisits his entire, sixty-year-long, and enormously productive career as a writer and director, from his classics Annie Hall, Manhattan, and Annie and Her Sisters to his most recent films, including Midnight in Paris. Along the way, he discusses his marriages, his romances and famous friendships, his jazz playing, and his books and plays. We learn about his demons, his mistakes, his successes, and those he loved, worked with, and learned from in equal measure. This is a hugely entertaining, deeply honest, rich and brilliant self-portrait of a celebrated artist who is ranked among the greatest filmmakers of our time.

Author: Leanne Shirtliffe
Publisher: Skyhorse
ISBN: 1634509250
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.