The Stupid Crook Book PDF Download

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780740726941
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 248

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Book Description
The former "Saturday Night Live" writer's bestsellers, "America's Dumbest Criminals" and "What's the Number for 911?, " are followed by a new work that captures hilarious tales of idiotic criminals.

Author: National Geographic
Publisher: National Geographic Books
ISBN: 1426308612
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 180

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Book Description
Did you hear the one about the crook who broke into a vending machine and then left a trail of cheese curls all the way to his hideout? Or the burglar who left his wallet in an apartment he robbed, and actually went back to get it? Based on the Stupid criminals busted! column in National Geographic kids magazine, this collection of stories about stupid criminals and the ridiculous ways they give themselves away is illustrated with collage art and sprinkled with more than 150 weird-but-true facts about crime.

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 144943598X
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 462

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Book Description
From political pandering and clunky criminals to historical hiccups, the jokes, wacky anecdotes, and inane quotes in Leland Gregory’s Stupid-themed anthologies showcase the best of human nature at its worst. In Stupid Sports, Leland now presents more than 200 sports-related idiotic moments featuring stupid sports laws and regulations, quotes, and athlete interactions with the law, fellow teammates, celebrities, and more, such as: “This could ruin my career.” —Darryl Strawberry to Tampa, Florida, police officers after being arrested for solicitation of prostitution and possession of cocaine on April 15, 1999. Featherweight boxer Richard Procter jumped into the ring at the World Sporting Club in London on July 11, 2004, and tossed off his robe to thunderous applause—only to realize he had forgotten his shorts. Fred Lorz finished first in the marathon in the Summer Olympics of 1904. Just before he was handed the gold medal, it was discovered that a car drove him 11 miles of the race.“Winfield goes back to the wall. He hits his head on the wall and it rolls off! It’s rolling all the way back to second base! This is a terrible thing for the Padres!” —Jerry Coleman, Padres broadcast announcer

Author: Daniel Butler
Publisher: HarperChristian + ORM
ISBN: 1418558796
Category : True Crime
Languages : en
Pages : 173

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Book Description
100 crazy stories of America's dumbest criminals. WARNING: The crimes you are about to read are true. The names have been changed . . . to protect the ignorant. Here is the ultimate collection of the most incredibly stupid and painfully dumb attempts at crime ever brought together. The woman who invalidated her winning $5,000 lottery ticket by altering it to match the $20 prize number The accused vending-machine thief who paid his $400 bail entirely in quarters The streaking robber who thought clothes would make him more identifiable The convenience store thief who got away with just a hotdog, only to end up in the parking lot choking on the wiener

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792113
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
Consider these cases of misdirected human activity, each in the name of science: The Illinois Department of Conservation spent $180,000 to study the contents of owl vomit. Georgia State University psychology professor James Dabbs discovered in 1988 that trial lawyers have about 30 percent more testosterone in their bodies than normal people (regardless of gender). Dabbs stated in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology that high testosterone levels are often linked to aggressiveness and "antisocial behavior." We all knew that lawyers were full of something—now we know it's testosterone. What do stinky cheese and unclean feet have in common? They both attract mosquitoes according to a November 8, 1996 article from Reuters.

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792083
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306

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Book Description
Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." --Tom DeLay, America's Community Bankers meeting, March 12, 2003 * After revealing absurd 911 phone calls and America's dumbest criminal antics, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers political pandering and pen-pushing philosophizing. Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside Idiots in Charge: Lies, Trick, Misdeeds, and Other Political Untruthiness Gregory offers more than 250 accounts of bumbling bureaucrats on both sides of political party lines: * David Spellman became mayor of Black Hawk, Colo., on July 12, 2006, a week after pleading guilty to felony menacing and third-degree assault for pistol-whipping his wife with a handgun and firing three shots in 2005. * County officials in Vermillion, Ind., were told by state homeland security officials in July 2006 to stop using the special emergency-only highway message boards to advertise their charity fish fries and spaghetti dinners. * District 1 Town Councilor David Watson resigned from his position as council vice chairman on January 23, 2007, after unintentionally forwarding an e-mail to 18 members of the New Elementary School Building Committee. The e-mail contained nine embedded images of topless women under the heading "This Is National Women's Breast Awareness Day." The only other text in the e-mail read, "Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?"

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449400388
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
New York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory is definitely messing with Texas in his book Stupid Texas. This time, Leland--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--collects evidence to prove the widespread belief that deep in the heart of Texans lies an extraordinary capacity for absurdity. Culled from print, online, and broadcast media, Stupid Texas is an uproarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Lone Star State, such as: * "In 1875, James Stephen Hogg, the first native-born Texan to become the state's governor, named his daughter--Ima." * In 1984, a Texas District Court judge sentenced a 31-year-old Houston man to 35 years in prison--for stealing a 12-ounce, $2 can of Spam." Ridiculous, outrageous, bizarre, and comical, Stupid Texas is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love Texas and those who hate it.

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792032
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 476

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Book Description
Over 200 true stories of boneheadedness and buffoonery from the New York Times-bestselling author of Stupid History! Former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory has shown us gray matter-challenged examples in everything from the criminal world to the hallowed halls of government. This time, though, everyone, everywhere is fair game if they've exhibited outrageously stupid behavior. Consider: * The forgetful fireman who left cooking oil on the stove and returned from a call to find the station house burned to the ground * A lung cancer patient who caused an explosion when he lit up a cigarette—in his oxygen tent * A 58-year-old billiards player who was suspended from competition after testing positive for a muscle-building hormone * F. Edward Hebert, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, who said, “The only way we’ll get a volunteer army is to draft them” Hey Idiot! lets everyone from bosses to public officials, doctors to sports heroes, skewer themselves with their moronic words and actions.

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449400361
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
Best-selling author Leland Gregory--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--is back with Stupid California. This time, Gregory builds a case for the common suspicion that Californians, from movie moguls to beach bums, have a special affinity for idiocy. Culled from print, online, and broadcast sources, Stupid California is a hilarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Golden State, such as: * "California's state animal is the California grizzly bear, which is also on the state flag. The bear was honored in 1953, a full 31 years after the last known bear in the state was killed." * "During the 1980s, in a bold stroke against terrorism, the Chico City Council banned nuclear weapons, enacting a mandatory $500 fine for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon within city limits." Silly, shocking, weird, and amusing, Stupid California is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love California and those who hate it.

Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780740779138
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
New York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory (Stupid History, Stupid American History) presents his 15th collection of silly, weird, shocking, amusing anecdotes highlighting all the hilarious, weird situations that occur on planes, trains, buses, and especially cars. Stupid on the Road: Idiots on Planes, Trains, Buses, and Cars, the compilation of human stupidity from New York Times best-selling author Leland Gregory, is a riotous collection of the unbelievably bizarre events and behavior that result when people strap themselves in behind the wheel. This time, Leland--who so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--turns his attention to idiots on the road and in the air. For instance, here are actual statements given by insurance policyholders describing their automobile accidents: "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car." "The guy was all over the place. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him." These true stories, from the strange to the outrageous to the just-plain dumb, will have you shaking your head at the wacky misadventures that have occurred as people attempt to get from point A to point B.