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The MisreadBible: Book of Moses

The MisreadBible: Book of Moses PDF Author: J. R. Eldridge
Publisher: J. R. Eldridge
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 351

Book Description
Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?

The MisreadBible: Book of Moses

The MisreadBible: Book of Moses PDF Author: J. R. Eldridge
Publisher: J. R. Eldridge
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 351

Book Description
Four hundred years after their entry into Egypt, God’s chosen people have managed to get themselves all enslaved. How can the omnipotent creator of the Universe free his people from bondage and deliver them to the promised land? By sending a random shepherd with a speech impediment to repeatedly threaten Pharaoh, that’s how. In this satirical retelling of the biblical books of Exodus to Deuteronomy, the long-suffering Moses leads a tribe of grumbling Israelites through the desert whilst trying to appease a petulant deity who turns smitey at the drop of a hat. Will he ever reach the promised land? Will there be any Israelites left unsmitten by the time he gets there? And what exactly is the Lord’s beef with yeast anyway?

The MisreadBible: Gospel

The MisreadBible: Gospel PDF Author: J. R. Eldridge
Publisher: J. R. Eldridge
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 404

Book Description
In first century Galilee, a humble carpenter is given some rather unusual news: he is the Son of God! Leaving his home, family, and carpentry business, Jesus of Nazareth travels to Peraea to learn the ways of the Dunker from his barmy hermit cousin John, who has a penchant for plunging people into water. Returning to Galilee, he calls together a posse of twelve random dudes and begins his father’s mission to preach the Kingdom of God (whatever that means). Along the way, he heals the sick, casts out demons, gives bizarre ranting sermons, and amasses a following. But little does he know that a much bigger destiny awaits him…

Has the Church Misread the Bible?

Has the Church Misread the Bible? PDF Author: Moisés Silva
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310409217
Category : Bible
Languages : en
Pages : 152

Book Description
With a unique and stimulating perspective on the history of interpretation this book provides a guideline for the use of dictionaries and word studies.

Drunk with Blood

Drunk with Blood PDF Author: Steve Wells
Publisher: Sab Books
ISBN: 9780988245112
Category : Bible
Languages : en
Pages : 288

Book Description
Completely Revised Second Edition with 23 new killings from the Apocrypha. Drunk With Blood includes a separate account for each of God's 158 killings. These stories fill the pages of the Bible, yet they are seldom read in church and are ignored by most Bible believers, which is a shame because God is so proud of his killings: "I kill ... I wound ... I will make mine arrows drunk with blood and my sword shall devour flesh." Deuteronomy 32:39-42 You've probably hear of a few of God's killings. Noah's Flood, Sodom and Gomorrah, David and Goliath, maybe. But there are over 150 others that are unknown to pretty much everyone, believer and nonbeliever alike. Did you know, for example, that God: *Forced friends and family to kill each other for dancing naked around Aaron's golden calf? *Burned Aaron's sons to death for offering him strange fire? *Burned complainers to death, forced the survivors to eat quail until it literally came out their noses, sent "fiery serpents" to bite people for complaining about the lack of food and water, and killed 14,700 for complaining about his killings? *Buried alive those that opposed Moses (along with their families)? *Burned 250 men to death for burning incense? *Rewarded Phinehas for throwing a spear though the bellies of an inter-tribal couple while they were having sex? *Ordered, assisted in, or approved of dozens of complete genocides? *Accepted human sacrifice in the cases of Jephthah's daughter and Saul's seven sons? *Helped Samson murder thirty men for their clothes, slaughter 1000 with the jawbone of an ass, and kill 3000 civilians in a a suicide terrorist attack? *Smote the Philistines of several cities with hemorrhoids in their secret parts? *Killed a man for trying to keep the ark of the covenant from falling and 50,070 for looking into the ark? *Approved when David bought his first wife with 200 Philistine foreskins? *Killed King Saul for not killing every Amalekite as he told him to do? *Slowly killed a baby to punish King David for committing adultery? *Killed 70,000 because David had a census that he (or Satan) told him to do? *Sent a lion to kill a prophet for believing another prophet's lie, another lion to kill a man for not smiting a prophet, and some more lions to kill people that didn't fear him enough? *Killed 450 religious leaders who lost a prayer contest with Elijah and burned 102 men to death for asking Elijah to come down from his hill? *Sent two bears to rip apart 42 boys for making fun of Elisha's bald head? *Killed 27,000 Syrians by having a wall fall on them, sent an angel to kill 185,000 sleeping soldiers, interfered in human battles to kill a half million Israelite and a million Ethiopian soldiers? *Killed King Ahab for not killing a captured king, and then sent King Jehu on a series of mass murders to kill all of Ahab's family and friends who had ever "pissed against a wall?" *Killed Jehoram by making his bowels fall out? *Killed Job's ten children in a bet with Satan? *Killed Ezekiel's wife and told him not to mourn her? *Killed Ananias and Sapphira for not giving Peter all their money? *Killed King Herod by feeding him to worms? All of these killings, and more, are found in the Bible, and their stories are told in the 2nd Edition of Drunk With Blood.

The Angelic Conflict

The Angelic Conflict PDF Author: R. B. Thieme, Jr.
Publisher: R. B. Thieme, Jr., Bible Ministries
ISBN: 1557641560
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 177

Book Description
The Angelic Conflict rages around us. This is not a world war. This is a war beyond the world—an invisible warfare between the forces of Satan and the forces of God. Ultimately God will win. Long before the advent of human history, Satan arrogantly rebelled against his Creator. He wanted to make himself “like the Most High” and recruited one-third of the angels to follow him. God justly condemned Satan and his fallen angels to spend eternity in the lake of fire. Satan appealed the sentence, claiming unfairness—questioning how a loving God could cast His creatures into hell. Planet Earth is now the battleground where Satan seeks to outmaneuver God, prove the judgment unfair, and foil the execution of his sentence. Satan will not suffer defeat without an intense struggle. God created man to resolve this angelic conflict. Human volition is the focal point of the firestorm. Will man choose God’s grace plan of salvation or follow the arrogant system of Satan? Through the freewill decisions of mankind, God proves to Satan His perfect justice and love again and again. As believers, it is imperative we understand this spiritual warfare that surrounds us. Satan uses every ruse at his command to derail and discredit those who are in Christ. For our defense, God has provided an overwhelming advantage in a powerful suit of spiritual armor. With it we can withstand the “flaming missiles of the evil one” and become heroes in the invisible war. God is glorified as we lock shields and stand firm on His power and Word.

The New Testament Bible Without Chapters or Verses - Chronological (KJV)

The New Testament Bible Without Chapters or Verses - Chronological (KJV) PDF Author: BibleWithoutVerses.com
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1300781963
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 604

Book Description
This is a King James version of the New Testament Bible without chapters and verses. It is also arranged in a chronological order. In addition, it has blank pages between books so the setting of the letters can be added to unveil the unseen STORY when the New Testament is read and viewed as a whole and in order. Inspired by a book named, Revolutionary Bible Study which can be found at www.SeedSowers.com.

Mark as Story

Mark as Story PDF Author: David M. Rhoads
Publisher: Fortress Press
ISBN: 1451411049
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 219

Book Description
For thirty years, Mark as Story has introduced readers to the rhetorical and narrative skill that makes Mark so arresting and compelling a story. Rhoads, Dewey, and Michie have helped to pioneer our appreciation of the Gospels, and Mark in particular, as narratives originally created in an oral culture for oral performance. New in this edition are a revised introduction and an afterword describing the significant role Mark as Story has played in the development of narrative criticism.

Isaiah 53

Isaiah 53 PDF Author: Gerald Sigal
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1503581365
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 315

Book Description
Who is the servant of Isaiah 52:13-53:12? Answering this question is what this study is all about. Through the centuries countless commentaries have been written, tracts have been distributed, debates have raged over the identification of the servant in this passage. Here we investigate the evidence presented over the last 2000 thousand years for the two leading candidates for this role of servant of the Lord. The two are Jesus and the Jewish people. Christians see in this passage the literal fulfillment by Jesus of all it contains. Jews see it in its plain meaning as a historical overview of Jewish history and the suffering to be endured by the nation of Israel until the final redemption. Source materials used by opposing sides in discussing this passage are thoroughly reviewed. In particular, each verse in the passage is studied in depth. But, the purpose of this volume is not simply to have an intellectual discussion of the issues involved. Its intent is to make it an unavoidable issue for Christians that there are very real disqualifications of Jesus from being the suffering servant and to identify the subject of the servant passage as none other than the nation of Israel. Furthermore, we seek to educate Jews so they do not fall prey to those who would have them believe Jesus is the Messiah.

The Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ

The Second Coming of the Lord Jesus Christ PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 36

Book Description


Threshold of Fire

Threshold of Fire PDF Author: Hella S. Haasse
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 1613734565
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
In this vivid, dynamic novel, Hella Haasse has once more brought the past to life. This time she has chosen to illuminate a crucial, yet relatively obscure period of history: it is 414 A.D. and the once-powerful Roman Empire is in its death throes—split between East and West, menaced by barbarian hordes almost literally at its gates. The Emperor Honorius, an incompetent weakling, cowers in the marsh-bound city of Ravenna, where he has moved the government; he rarely "makes entry" into Rome. This is the brilliant canvas against which the characters in this drama interact. There is the Prefect Hadrian, a powerful official and fanatical Christian convert; there is Marcus Anicius, the pagan aristocrat who is clinging to a dying past, and there is the Jew Eliezar be Elijah, hemmed in by his own traditions and burdened by his dark vision of the future. There is the intrigue and uncertainty of life at Honorius's court, and there are the streets and tenements of Rome, pulsating with life and with corruption.