The Funny Life of Football PDF Download

Author: James Campbell
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 1526627981
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 121

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Book Description
WINNER of the Sunday Times Children's Sports Book Prize 2023 "Every page is guaranteed to grab the imagination and it's the perfect thing for dipping into at half time." Love Reading 4 Kids A hilarious fact and fiction hybrid from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own. Want to know why OCTOPUSES can't play football? And how to play the game across multiple DIMENSIONS? How about learning the REAL RULES of how football is played, why Henry VIII banned it, plus where it came from and who the greatest players of ALL TIME are? Whether you love a game of TABLE FOOTBALL, can't get enough of BACK-GARDEN BALL, only enjoy the game from your SOFA or would sooner swim with sharks than play it, if you LOVE to LAUGH – then this is the book for you! But be warned - this is NOT a normal book. You can read it forwards, backwards, sideways and in approximately 861,000 different ways in between. From comedian extraordinaire James Campbell, get ready to laugh your BUTT off to a silly book filled with funny stories, partly-true facts and hilarious pictures that will make you think twice about the game everyone thinks they know so well.

Author: Tony Siragusa
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
ISBN: 0307955982
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 274

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Book Description
A hugely popular and beloved football commentator and former player with the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, Tony Siragusa offers his uncensored insider's look at the NFL and his hilarious take on life off the gridiron. The New York Times called him a "modern-day John Madden." Tony Soprano called him "Frankie Cortese." His teammates called him "Goose." Whatever you call him, Tony Siragusa is larger than life in every possible sense, from his personality to his physique to his colorful career, hilarious stories, and bombastic take on life. Goose is the book that Siragusa's fans have been clamoring for, to hear more from the Super Bowl champ-turned-commentator-turned-actor, who has brought his unmistakable style and intense love for life to every endeavor. In a memoir that is guaranteed to make you laugh, cheer, shake your head, laugh some more, and then think seriously, Siragusa offers stories, life lessons, and perspective gained from his unbelievable collection of experiences. He also offers a no-holds-barred look at the NFL, with locker room stories and surprising glimpses at the way things are done when the cameras (or the refs) aren't looking. His narratives range from hilarious anecdotes about his New Jersey childhood and wild college days, to behind-the-scenes glimpses at some of the greatest players in football history, to Goose's opinions about the current state of the NFL. And he shares them all with his signature love for life and uncensored insight.

Author: James Campbell
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 152661328X
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 106

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Book Description
A hilarious book from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own. Uncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they're not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats? This face-achingly funny book will also teach you why you should carry an emergency banana with you at all times, how to fart in class silently without anyone knowing it was you and how to catapult yourself to school by building a medieval style catapult in your back garden! Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a HILARIOUS read, this book is for you. Prepare to roll around the floor laughing with the snot-inducingly brilliant The Funny Life of Teachers. But be warned – this is NOT a normal book. You can read it forwards, backwards, sideways and in approximately 861,000 different ways in between. Whichever way you read it, look no further for fantastic real-life teacher facts, incredibly funny illustrations, imaginary stories and an impossibly silly read!

Author: James Campbell
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 1526614308
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 122

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Book Description
A hilarious book from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own. Uncover the sidesplitting life of cucumber scaredy-cats, non-stop pooping hamsters, exploding fish and everything in-between (and some things that have nothing to do with pets but are still ridiculously funny). This hilarious book answers all the big questions, like: do sausage dogs eat sausages? Why has my cat done a poo behind my wardrobe? And how can I persuade my parents to get me a pet? For real-life pet facts, imaginary stories, and a generally laugh-so-hard-snot-comes-out-your-nose read, this is the only pet book you'll ever need! Written by the outstanding children's comedian James Campbell, prepare yourself for The Funny Life of Pets! But be WARNED – this IS NOT a normal book...You read a normal book by starting on page one and reading to the end (BORING). You can read this book forwards, backwards, sideways, and in approximately 861,000 different ways in-between. This is a book with outrageous facts, hilarious jokes, insanely funny online videos and brilliant stories all about pets, the author, and all sorts of other things. WARNING: Anything you think you might have learned from this book might not be very accurate so should not be used in a school project or as part of homework. Unless of course, you are made of stardust and are as brave as sunshine.

Author: Kevin Keegan
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1760782971
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 372

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Book Description
Kevin Keegan is one of the greatest players in English football history. Throughout his career as a player and manager he was famed for his style on the pitch and the passion for the game, which he shared with his fans. In My Life in Football, Keegan tells the story of his life, from the streets of Doncaster to signing for Liverpool under Bill Shankly where he won three First Division titles, two UEFA Cups, a European Cup and the FA Cup before moving to Hamburg where he won the Bundasliga as well as the Ballon d'Or twice. After retiring, Keegan enjoyed a legendary five-year spell as manager at Newcastle United during which the club was promoted to the Premier League and then finished runners up in the top flight, not once but twice. In My Life in Football, Keegan tells the full story of the glorious highs, but also the pain of managing England and his unhappy return to Newcastle for a short-lived second tenure. Brilliant, funny, passionate, deeply moving and incredibly honest, My Life in Football is the full story of an incredible journey from miner's son to being crowned 'King Kev' by his adoring fans.

Author: Ian Wright
Publisher: Constable
ISBN: 1472123573
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 295

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Book Description
THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Wrighty's characteristic honesty means his book is far more engrossing than most bland football memoirs' Sunday Times Ian Wright, Arsenal legend, England striker and TV pundit extraordinaire, is one of the most interesting and relevant figures in modern football. His journey from a South London council estate to national treasure is everybody's dream. From Sunday morning football directly to Crystal Palace; from 'boring, boring Arsenal' to inside the Wenger Revolution; from Saturday afternoons on the pitch to Saturday evenings on primetime television; from a week in prison to inspiring youth offenders, Ian will reveal all about his extraordinary life and career. Ian will also frankly discuss how retirement affects footballers, why George Graham deserves a statue, social media, why music matters, breaking Arsenal's goal-scoring record, racism, the unadulterated joy of playing alongside Dennis Bergkamp and, of course, what he thinks of Tottenham. Not a standard footballer's autobiography, Ian Wright's memoir is a thoughtful and gripping insight into a Highbury Hero and one of the greatest sports stars of recent years.

Author: Michael Calvin
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473553733
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 339

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Book Description
From the award-winning author of NO HUNGER IN PARADISE Outside the global spotlight, footballers don't drive Aston Martins or pose for underwear ads. This is war. This is life. This is football. Michael Calvin turned up for the first day of pre-season training at Millwall FC. 333 days later, he sat among the subs at Wembley. Over the course of a season, he witnessed the intimate everyday life of a football club far from the glitz and glamour of the Premier League, and the unique characters that come together every day on the field. These are dedicated, hard-working family men, close to their roots, 'playing for the people who hate their jobs, who'd love our lives.' Forget about the over-hyped circus of the Premier League. This is the beautiful game in all its raucous glory: essential reading for anyone whom football is a way of life.

Author: James Campbell
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing
ISBN: 152662799X
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 121

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Book Description
A hilarious fact and fiction hybrid from bestselling author and stand-up comic James Campbell, who has visited over 3,000 primary schools to tell stories and encourage children to write their own.Want to know why OCTOPUSES can't play football? And how to play the game across multiple DIMENSIONS? How about learning the REAL RULES of how football is played, why Henry VIII banned it, plus where it came from and who the greatest players of ALL TIME are? Whether you love a game of TABLE FOOTBALL, can't get enough of BACK-GARDEN BALL, only enjoy the game from your SOFA or would sooner swim with sharks than play it, if you LOVE to LAUGH - then this is the book for you! But be warned - this is NOT a normal book. You can read it forwards, backwards, sideways and in approximately 861,000 different ways in between. From comedian extraordinaire James Campbell, get ready to laugh your BUTT off to a silly book filled with funny stories, partly-true facts and hilarious pictures that will make you think twice about the game everyone thinks they know so well.

Author: Johnny Anonymous
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062422421
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 260

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Book Description
Meet Johnny Anonymous. No, that’s not his real name. But he is a real, honest-to-goodness pro football player. A member of the League. A slave, if you will, to the NFL. For the millions of you out there who wouldn’t know what to do on Sundays if there wasn’t football, who can’t imagine life without the crunch of helmets ringing in your ears, or who look forward to the Super Bowl more than your birthday, Johnny Anonymous decided to tell his story. Written during the 2014–2015 season, this is a year in the life of the National Football League. This is a year in the life of a player—not a marquee name, but a guy on the roster—gutting it out through training camp up to the end of the season, wondering every minute if he’s going to get playing time or get cut. Do you want to know how players destroy their bodies and their colons to make weight? Do you wonder what kind of class and racial divides really exist in NFL locker rooms? Do you want to know what NFL players and teams really think about gay athletes or how the League is really dealing with crime and violence against women by its own players? Do you wonder about the psychological warfare between players and coaches on and off the field? About how much time players spend on Tinder or sexting when not on the field? About how star players degrade or humiliate second- and third-string players? What players do about the headaches and memory loss that appear after every single game? This book will tell you all of this and so much more. Johnny Anonymous holds nothing back in this whip-smart commentary that only an insider, and a current player, could bring. Part truth-telling personal narrative, part darkly funny exposé, NFL Confidential gives football fans a look into a world they’d give anything to see, and nonfans a wild ride through the strange, quirky, and sometimes disturbing realities of America’s favorite game. Here is a truly unaffiliated look at the business, guts, and glory of the game, all from the perspective of an underdog who surprises everyone—especially himself. JOHNNY ANONYMOUS is a four-year offensive lineman for the NFL. Under another pseudonym, he’s also a contributor for the comedy powerhouse Funny Or Die. You can pretty much break NFL players down into three categories. Twenty percent do it because they’re true believers. They’re smart enough to do something else if they wanted, and the money is nice and all, but really they just love football. They love it, they live it, they believe in it, it’s their creed. They would be nothing without it. Hell, they’d probably pay the League to play if they had to! These guys are obviously psychotic. Thirty percent of them do it just for the money. So they could do something else—sales, desk jockey, accountant, whatever—but they play football because the money is just so damn good. And it is good. And last of all, 49.99 percent play football because, frankly, it’s the only thing they know how to do. Even if they wanted to do something “normal,” they couldn’t. All they’ve ever done in their lives is play football—it was their way out, either of the hood or the deep woods country. They need football. If football didn’t exist, they’d be homeless, in a gang, or maybe in prison. Then there’s me. I’m part of my own little weird minority, that final 0.01 percent. We’re such a minority, we don’t even count as a category. We’re the professional football players who flat-out hate professional football.

Author: Musa Okwonga
Publisher: Scholastic UK
ISBN: 0702307912
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 199

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Book Description
The first children's book from superstar England striker, Ian Wright. Striking Out follows the journey of 13-year-old Jerome, who has a dream of becoming a world-class footballer. But with a difficult home life, Jerome can’t see how he’ll ever make this dream come true ... until he meets a mentor figure who can hopefully put him on the right track. From the winning writing team of Musa Okwonga and Ian Wright. Musa Okwonga is an author, poet, journalist and musician; he is a co-host of the Stadio football podcast. Ian Wright is one of the UK’s all-time leading goal scorers. He’s lifted the Premier League title, The FA Cup, the European Cup Winners’ Cup and won the Premier League golden boot.