The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks PDF Author: Dan Indante
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 0312310846
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290

Book Description
This sadistic, hysterical relationship book outlines how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man's life.

Ascent of the A-Word

Ascent of the A-Word PDF Author: Geoffrey Nunberg
Publisher:
ISBN: 1610391756
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 274

Book Description
An attention-grabbing, thought-provoking exploration of the life of the word "asshole," by a renowned linguist and author

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks

The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks PDF Author: Dan Indante
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1466843713
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 263

Book Description
Congratulations, man! By picking up The Complete A**hole's Guide to Handling Chicks, you are just pages away from finally understanding: - How a five-dollar date can get you laid - How to stop being friends with girls and start getting them in the sack - Where you'll have the best odds of finding a one-night stand, and how to get rid of the chick the next morning - How to trick a woman into thinking you're classy, even if you have holes in your underwear - Why fat chicks always try to keep you from banging their hot friends, and how to finally stop these evil creatures - How to stop your wife from nagging you into an early grave - Why it's possible to watch six hours of football, put the moves on your neighbor's hot daughter, and leave the toilet seat up in the same day - And much more The Complete A**hole's Guide isn't like all the other candy-ass relationship books on the market; it doesn't cover issues like romance, love, and finding Miss Right. So, if that's what you're looking for, there are plenty of other books you can hide under your skirt as you skip out of the store. This book is about controlling the women in your life, and never having to say you're sorry . . . EVER AGAIN! We'll take you from the day you're born to the day you die and show you how women can be manipulated, frustrated, and ultimately dominated throughout the course of a man's life. By illustrating the insanity of the female mind, we'll show you why the flawed chick psyche causes them to continuously fall for the a**hole, no matter how many times they get burned. If you're not interested, that's fine. We're sure there are ballet classes you need to attend before your wine and cheese party. However, if you are ready, then grab a six-pack, order a pizza, and get your hand out of your pants because you're about to read the most perverse, sadistic, and hysterical relationship book ever written. Enjoy!

Assholes Finish First

Assholes Finish First PDF Author: Tucker Max
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439198691
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 434

Book Description
Presents a new collection of alcohol-induced "fratire" adventures in hedonism that convey the author's experiences of being intoxicated at inappropriate times, seducing a large number of women, and otherwise living in complete disregard of social norms.

The Complete A**Hole Dad

The Complete A**Hole Dad PDF Author: Dan Indante
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781940207049
Category : Families
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Dan Zaharoni is an asshole. He also happens to be a father. In this hilarious, often touching, book, Zaharoni gives the advice every parent secretly wants to hear: how to be an asshole, without truly screwing up your kids. The Baby Boomers had Dr. Spock, the Millennials are now stuck with The Complete A**Hole Dad, a viciously hysterical commentary on the state of parenting in the twenty-first century. Author Dan Indante, co-author of the bestselling Complete A**Hole’s Guide to Handling Chicks, has grown up and focused his sarcastic wit on the nearest and most innocent target--his children. Indante walks through nearly one hundred stories of his own parental incompetence while skewering the even greater incompetence of every father he’s had the misfortune of coming across at PTA meetings, Little League baseball games, and tequila-fueled six year old birthday parties.

The Asshole Survival Guide

The Asshole Survival Guide PDF Author: Robert I. Sutton
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 1328695921
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 229

Book Description
“This book is a contemporary classic—a shrewd and spirited guide to protecting ourselves from the jerks, bullies, tyrants, and trolls who seek to demean. We desperately need this antidote to the a-holes in our midst.”—Daniel H. Pink, best-selling author of To Sell Is Human and Drive How to avoid, outwit, and disarm assholes, from the author of the classic The No Asshole Rule As entertaining as it is useful, The Asshole Survival Guide delivers a cogent and methodical game plan for anybody who feels plagued by assholes. Sutton starts with diagnosis—what kind of asshole problem, exactly, are you dealing with? From there, he provides field-tested, evidence-based, and often surprising strategies for dealing with assholes—avoiding them, outwitting them, disarming them, sending them packing, and developing protective psychological armor. Sutton even teaches readers how to look inward to stifle their own inner jackass. Ultimately, this survival guide is about developing an outlook and personal plan that will help you preserve the sanity in your work life, and rescue all those perfectly good days from being ruined by some jerk. “Thought-provoking and often hilarious . . . An indispensable resource.”—Gretchen Rubin, best-selling author of The Happiness Project and Better Than Before “At last . . . clear steps for rejecting, deflecting, and deflating the jerks who blight our lives . . . Useful, evidence-based, and fun to read.”—Robert Cialdini, best-selling author of Influence and Pre-Suasion

The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America

The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America PDF Author: Matt Kracht
Publisher: Chronicle Books
ISBN: 1452177392
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178

Book Description
National bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller Lists Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike A humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! • Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. • The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching. • Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. "There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – Uncrate A humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds • A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book • Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell

I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell PDF Author: Tucker Max
Publisher: Citadel
ISBN: 0806535938
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 537

Book Description
The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: "I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist." "I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you."

The Love Hypothesis

The Love Hypothesis PDF Author: Ali Hazelwood
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593336828
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 401

Book Description
The Instant New York Times Bestseller and TikTok Sensation! As seen on THE VIEW! A BuzzFeed Best Summer Read of 2021 When a fake relationship between scientists meets the irresistible force of attraction, it throws one woman's carefully calculated theories on love into chaos. As a third-year Ph.D. candidate, Olive Smith doesn't believe in lasting romantic relationships--but her best friend does, and that's what got her into this situation. Convincing Anh that Olive is dating and well on her way to a happily ever after was always going to take more than hand-wavy Jedi mind tricks: Scientists require proof. So, like any self-respecting biologist, Olive panics and kisses the first man she sees. That man is none other than Adam Carlsen, a young hotshot professor--and well-known ass. Which is why Olive is positively floored when Stanford's reigning lab tyrant agrees to keep her charade a secret and be her fake boyfriend. But when a big science conference goes haywire, putting Olive's career on the Bunsen burner, Adam surprises her again with his unyielding support and even more unyielding...six-pack abs. Suddenly their little experiment feels dangerously close to combustion. And Olive discovers that the only thing more complicated than a hypothesis on love is putting her own heart under the microscope.

Holes

Holes PDF Author: Louis Sachar
Publisher: Yearling
ISBN: 0307798364
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 251

Book Description
This groundbreaking classic is now available in a special anniversary edition with bonus content. Winner of the Newbery Medal as well as the National Book Award, HOLES is a New York Times bestseller and one of the strongest-selling middle-grade books to ever hit shelves! Stanley Yelnats is under a curse. A curse that began with his no-good-dirty-rotten-pig-stealing-great-great-grandfather and has since followed generations of Yelnatses. Now Stanley has been unjustly sent to a boys' detention center, Camp Green Lake, where the boys build character by spending all day, every day digging holes exactly five feet wide and five feet deep. There is no lake at Camp Green Lake. But there are an awful lot of holes. It doesn't take long for Stanley to realize there's more than character improvement going on at Camp Green Lake. The boys are digging holes because the warden is looking for something. But what could be buried under a dried-up lake? Stanley tries to dig up the truth in this inventive and darkly humorous tale of crime and punishment —and redemption. Special anniversary edition bonus content includes: A New Note From the Author!; "Ten Things You May Not Know About HOLES" by Louis Sachar; and more!