The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said PDF Download

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Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451648901
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 674

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Book Description
A latest collection of quotes features entries that are thematically arranged to provide narrative readings, in a volume that celebrates the lighter side of such topics as courtship, lawyers, and aging.

Author: Robert Byrne
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743235797
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 673

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Book Description
An irreverent selection of humorous quotes, one-liners, definitions, and quips features words of wisdom from contributors ranging from Goethe to David Letterman on such topics as families, philosophy, movies and television, and education.

Author: Dr. Mardy Grothe
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0061758442
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
For most of us, that perfect retort or witty reply often escapes us when we need it most, only to come to mind with perfect clarity when it's too late to be useful. The twentieth-century writer Heywood Broun described this all-too-common phenomenon when he wrote "Repartee is what we wish we'd said." In Viva la Repartee, Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of Oxymoronica, has lovingly assembled a collection of masterfully composed -- and perfectly timed -- replies that have turned the tables on opponents and adversaries. This delightful volume is a celebration of the most impressive retorts, ripostes, rejoinders, comebacks, quips, ad-libs, bon mots, off-the-cuff comments, wisecracks, and other clever remarks ever to come out of the mouths -- and from the pens -- of people throughout history. Touching on all areas of human endeavor, including politics, the arts, literature, sports, relationships, and even the risqué, the book features contributions from Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, Mae West, Groucho Marx, Winston Churchill, Dolly Parton, and scores more. As entertaining as it is intellectually enriching, Viva la Repartee is sure to capture the attention of language lovers and is the perfect antidote for anyone who's ever thought I wish I'd said that!

Author: Robert Byrne
Publisher: Fawcett
ISBN: 9780449203750
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 32

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Book Description
"This collection contains some real gems!" UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL From Golda Meir to Erma Bombeck...from Aldous Huxley to Abbie Hoffman...from Oscar Wilde to W.C. Fields...from Queen Victoria to Mae West...from Aristotle to Idi Amin....here are the 637 best things anybody ever said--on God, Life, Death, Murder, Stupidity, Narcisism, Birth, Youth, Sex, Love, Marriage, Horses, Greeks, Romans, Politics, Literature, Drink, Presidents, and a great deal more.

Author: David Orr
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0062079417
Category : Literary Criticism
Languages : en
Pages : 170

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Book Description
"David Orr is no starry-eyed cheerleader for contemporary poetry; Orr’s a critic, and a good one. . . . Beautiful & Pointless is a clear-eyed, opinionated, and idiosyncratic guide to a vibrant but endangered art form, essential reading for anyone who loves poetry, and also for those of us who mostly just admire it from afar." —Tom Perrotta Award-winning New York Times Book Review poetry columnist David Orr delivers an engaging, amusing, and stimulating tour through the world of poetry. With echoes of Francine Prose’s Reading Like a Writer, Orr’s Beautiful & Pointless offers a smart and funny approach to appreciating an art form that many find difficult to embrace.

Author: John M. Shanahan
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0060194111
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 340

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Book Description
You don't have to be a genius to sound like one. Here's a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic. Classified by such themes as "Truth, Lies, and Deception," "Men, Women, and Relationships," and "Passions, Virtues, and Vices," these quotes contain timeless messages for all humankind. Oscar Wilde: "A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position." Charles de Gaulle: "The cemetery is filled with indispensable men." Abraham Lincoln: "Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power." Sophocles: "Men of ill judgment oft ignore the good that lies within their hands, till they have lost it." Perfect for anyone who has ever been left speechless, this book will make you as glib as Oscar Wilde, as profound as Winston Churchill, and as wise as Aesop. Inspirational, entertaining, and thought-provoking, this is one collection that no library or bookshelf should be without.

Author: Ben Petrick
Publisher: Kmp Enterprises
ISBN: 9780615583457
Category : Athletes
Languages : en
Pages : 179

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Book Description
What if I told you that a decade ago, one of the greatest baseball prospects of his era was hitting home runs off Hall of Famers while hiding Parkinson's disease? What if I told you this is not the most amazing part of Petrick's story? When he signed a big-league contract, baseball executives and scouts uniformly predicted he would be the Rockies starting catcher for a decade. 'Think Buster Posey with speed,' says Pirates skipper Clint Hurdle, who managed Petrick in Colorado. 'He could have been one of the best catchers ever.' When he was called to the majors, Petrick didn't disappoint, hitting .323 over his first two seasons, with 11 homers off the likes of Randy Johnson. What no one knew at the time was that after his rookie season, Petrick was told he had Parkinson's, the same diagnosis his father received just seven months before. Four years later, Petrick quietly disappeared from the game. A man destined for fame and fortune was instead receiving disability as his wife went back to work full-time, leaving Petrick as primary caregiver for their infant daughter. With his physical capacity growing more diminished by the day, Petrick resolved to undergo a radical surgery to improve the life of his family. Petrick's soul-stirring journey, which he first recounted on his wildly popular blog called Faith In The Game and now in 40,000 to One, has earned him worldwide acclaim as an author and speaker, with some citing his book as one of the greatest sports biographies of all time. Says legendary baseball writer Steve Wulf of ESPN: 'Ben could've become the best catcher in baseball, and maybe one of the best in history, until Young-Onset Parkinson's robbed him of his physical abilities. But clearly he lost one gift only to find another.' Baseball America calls 40,000 to One 'An inspiration for all,' and beloved columnist and author Sharon Randall says, 'Ben writes with a kind of honesty and grace that both breaks your heart and makes it soar. He makes me want to not just be a better writer, but a better person. Never maudlin and truly inspiring, Ben and his book are a treasure.' World Series MVP Scott Brosius calls 40,000 to One 'a must-read. Powerful, inspiring and challenging on every level,' while Rockies GM Dan O'Dowd calls it 'A courageous and brilliantly told book.' Petrick's celebrated work has managed to transcend the sports genre, with no less than Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer saying, 'There are moments in this book that take your breath away. What the world will know once they've read 40,000 to One is that Ben's baseball success was prologue to what he was really meant to do in life: reveal a better way to those of us whose lives spin wildly at times.' 40,000 to One marks the arrival of an astonishingly bold and riveting author whose story seems destined to touch the hearts of millions, much as crossovers from the sports genre like Mitch Albom's 'Tuesdays With Morrie' and Arthur Ashe's 'Days of Grace' have in the past. With priceless wisdom on every page, Ben Petrick's 40,000 to One is a debut work that demands to be read, passed on and celebrated.

Author: Iain Banks
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743421922
Category : Caste
Languages : en
Pages : 500

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Book Description
Eight hundred years after the most horrific battle of the Idiran war, light from its world-destroying detonations is about to reach the Masaq Orbital, home to the Culture. Major Quilan has supposedly come to take the exiled Composer Ziller back to their war-ravaged home world, Chel. But despite the major's civilized veneer, his true mission may be the death and destruction of an entire civilization.

Author: Patricia Scanlan
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501134728
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 528

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Book Description
International bestseller Patricia Scanlan explores the end of the honeymoon phase for a newlywed couple in this warm and evocative novel featuring “Scanlan at her best” (Irish Independent). When the honeymoon is over, real life begins... Newly married Debbie is at her wits’ end about her and Bryan’s mounting debts, but there’s no way he’s going to stop living the high life and become a stay-at-home husband. Meanwhile, Debbie’s dad has just found out his workaholic second wife, Aimee, is pregnant. He couldn’t be happier, but she's horrified. Is their marriage going to last? Debbie’s mum, Connie, has met a gorgeous new man and is all set to make a life of her own. But her family needs her more than ever to sort out all their problems. Will she put her family first, as always, or can she walk away and finally make a fresh start? Will anyone be happy ever after?

Author: Mardy Grothe
Publisher: Collins Reference
ISBN: 9780061672309
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people. If you can't be kind, at least be vague. An aphorism is a pithy observation that attempts to communicate a truth about the human experience, often with a dash of wit. History's greatest thinkers and writers have viewed the aphorism as a potent tool, and it is remarkable how many of their most memorable observations have been introduced with the biggest little word in the human language: If. These ifferisms, as they have been dubbed by quotation anthologist Dr. Mardy Grothe, demonstrate the powerful role that hypothetical and conditional thinking play in our lives. This novel compendium of wisdom, wit, and wordplay presents nearly two thousand quotations that all begin with the word if. Alongside history's most famous sayings, readers will find—and often learn the fascinating story behind—such modern classics as "If you build it, they will come" and "If anything can go wrong, it will." In chapters on sex, love, sports, politics, advice, gender dynamics, and more, quotation lovers will savor scintillating observations from the usual suspects—Twain, Wilde, Shaw, Emerson, and Franklin—as well as scores of contemporary wits and wordsmiths.