That's Terrible! a Cringeworthy Collection of 1001 Really Bad Jokes PDF Download

Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781479241644
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.

Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781481162456
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 122

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Book Description
Back by popular demand: another rib-tickling collection of 1001 original jokes and one-liners - only this time even worse! Like its hugely entertaining big sister, this addictive little gem will have you in stitches from the word go. Plumbed from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination, there isn't a swear word in sight, appealing to kids and grandmas, whilst still supplying ample ammunition to bombard your mates into submission. Just like the first time, all you need to do to become immersed in this barrage of off-the-wall buffoonery is find a quiet spot somewhere then slowly turn the page, revealing ream upon ream of good, clean fun jokes like these: ET's been caught shoplifting. I always said he was light fingered. Animal rights activists are currently camped outside United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney had injured a calf. I staggered out of the pub and straight into a fracas with a rag and bone man. I was charged with junk and disorderly. The wife asked if I fancied a trip to the Arctic Circle. I said, sounds cool. I took my car back to the garage. I said, every time it rains, I get this awful hissing noise. The mechanic said, I wouldn't worry too much. It's probably just the windscreen vipers. Ghosts: they need to get a life. I bought an imitation American motorcycle. It was a Hardly Davidson. My job at the glue factory, I've told them to stick it. I went in HMV. I said, what do you think to the Pet Shop Boys? The assistant said, they've a good selection of dog biscuits but the prices are a bit steep. Tardis for sale. No time wasters. I took my new DAB radio back to the shop. I said, the volume button is stuck on low and I don't know what to do. He said, try playing it by ear. The cat o' nine tails I inherited: I've flogged it.

Author: Arsidious The Great Writer
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781671958357
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 92

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Book Description
These are not offensive. These are not crude. These are just really really bad. They are worse than horrible. Their lack of quality and finesse will astonish you! #7 will knock your socks off! 99% of your friends will have never heard of jokes like this... and the 1% that tell jokes like these are not people who you let tell jokes at parties. We tested these jokes on a tulip, and it died.The only saving grace is that there is absolutely no mention of politics in here at all. not even alluded to.

Author: Kay Woodward
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781407111124
Category : Wit and humor, Juvenile
Languages : en
Pages : 96

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Book Description
A horribly funny book of jokes including: Gruesome jokes - jokes about goo Monstrous jokes - jokes about monsters Awfully funny jokes - jokes that are baaad Rotten jokes - slimy, smelly jokes Jokes to make you go 'ew!' - yucky jokes Jokes that go bump in the night - ghostly jokes Cringeworthy jokes - more really bad jokes Hair-raising jokes - scary jokes and many, many more!

Author: Hugh Jass
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781387763528
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98

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Book Description
Hundreds of jokes congregate in this amazing compilation of some of the greatest bad jokes and puns there are. Uniting several forms of terrible gag in one ceaseless, relentless volume, A Book of Bad Jokes, Pitiful Puns, Woeful Wordplay and Ridiculous Riddles is intended to be a text every aspiring or current bad joke teller would love in his library. Authored by known pun and bun master Hugh Jass, this manual intends to amuse and educate its readers on the art of inventing truly awful humor. Ample quantities of ideas and an exhaustive demonstration of the form used mean that you can not only cringe, but create your own horrific jokes. After introducing the book and its uses, Hugh takes us through an enormous combination of terrible one-liners and question and answer jokes. The conclusion of the book meanwhile is framed in riddles both ordinary and poetic in form.

Author: Lion Spirit
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 161

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Book Description
A puntastic collection of jokes that are so bad they somehow become good. This book will give an array of jokes to use at parties, that will ensure you never get invited to one again! Enjoy!

Author: Johnny Nelson
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781989971109
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 160

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Book Description
Show off your comedic skills with these hysterically cringe-worthy dad jokes Don't you just love seeing your kids' exasperated reactions after an expertly delivered one-liner? Isn't it incredibly satisfying to provoke eyerolls with your intentionally cheesy puns? The stereotypically silly dad joke is the hallmark of every fun dad. Utterly uncool, perplexingly amusing, and painfully funny, they're guaranteed to induce both groans and guffaws from anyone who hears them. You can count on your reliable wisecracks to liven up any gathering and cheer up any mood. But if you've been telling the same old quips for the past years, why not update your repertoire with this collection of brilliantly lame, but ridiculously funny dad jokes? In 1001 Outrageous Dad Jokes and Wisecracks for Fathers and the Entire Family, you will discover: Corny dad jokes that are so bad, they're terribly good! Over 1,000 rib-ticklers to restock your arsenal of cheesy wisecracks Groan-inducing one-liners that only dads can get away with Cleverly witty quips to ease the tension in any situation, no matter how awkward Ingenious wordplay that will get your family's brains ticking and their sides aching with laughter The pun-niest lines that are sure to elicit laughs, even from the most humorless member of the family Entertaining trivia about famous fathers - find out how much you have in common with these celebrity dads And much more. Everyone just loves to hate on dad jokes. That's what makes them so irresistible. The grimaces and giggles you get from telling them makes delivering the jokes as much fun as hearing them. No wonder dads have stubbornly kept dad jokes alive, even after their wives and children have repeatedly told them to stop. Carry on the tradition of hilariously terrible dad jokes and leave your family in stitches. If you're looking for the perfect puns that are guaranteed to garner exasperated eyerolls and unbridled laughter from the entire family, then scroll up and click the "Add to Cart" button right now.

Author: Hayden Fox
Publisher: Independently Published
ISBN: 9781796685855
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 164

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Book Description
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite! 1000 Dreadfully Good Dad Jokes that will keep everyone either laughing or groaning for hours on end! Also makes for a perfect Father's Day gift. Add to Cart Now if you are ready for some dreadfully good entertainment! **Get the Kindle edition for FREE when you buy the paperback.**

Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435904
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396095
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178

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Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!