That's Terrible 2: a Cringeworthy Collection of 1001 Even Worse Jokes PDF Download

Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781481162456
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 122

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Book Description
Back by popular demand: another rib-tickling collection of 1001 original jokes and one-liners - only this time even worse! Like its hugely entertaining big sister, this addictive little gem will have you in stitches from the word go. Plumbed from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination, there isn't a swear word in sight, appealing to kids and grandmas, whilst still supplying ample ammunition to bombard your mates into submission. Just like the first time, all you need to do to become immersed in this barrage of off-the-wall buffoonery is find a quiet spot somewhere then slowly turn the page, revealing ream upon ream of good, clean fun jokes like these: ET's been caught shoplifting. I always said he was light fingered. Animal rights activists are currently camped outside United's training ground after it was announced Wayne Rooney had injured a calf. I staggered out of the pub and straight into a fracas with a rag and bone man. I was charged with junk and disorderly. The wife asked if I fancied a trip to the Arctic Circle. I said, sounds cool. I took my car back to the garage. I said, every time it rains, I get this awful hissing noise. The mechanic said, I wouldn't worry too much. It's probably just the windscreen vipers. Ghosts: they need to get a life. I bought an imitation American motorcycle. It was a Hardly Davidson. My job at the glue factory, I've told them to stick it. I went in HMV. I said, what do you think to the Pet Shop Boys? The assistant said, they've a good selection of dog biscuits but the prices are a bit steep. Tardis for sale. No time wasters. I took my new DAB radio back to the shop. I said, the volume button is stuck on low and I don't know what to do. He said, try playing it by ear. The cat o' nine tails I inherited: I've flogged it.

Author: Gary Rowley
Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub
ISBN: 9781479241644
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.

Author: Arsidious The Great Writer
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781671958357
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 92

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Book Description
These are not offensive. These are not crude. These are just really really bad. They are worse than horrible. Their lack of quality and finesse will astonish you! #7 will knock your socks off! 99% of your friends will have never heard of jokes like this... and the 1% that tell jokes like these are not people who you let tell jokes at parties. We tested these jokes on a tulip, and it died.The only saving grace is that there is absolutely no mention of politics in here at all. not even alluded to.

Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435904
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Author: Hugh Jass
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781387763528
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 98

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Book Description
Hundreds of jokes congregate in this amazing compilation of some of the greatest bad jokes and puns there are. Uniting several forms of terrible gag in one ceaseless, relentless volume, A Book of Bad Jokes, Pitiful Puns, Woeful Wordplay and Ridiculous Riddles is intended to be a text every aspiring or current bad joke teller would love in his library. Authored by known pun and bun master Hugh Jass, this manual intends to amuse and educate its readers on the art of inventing truly awful humor. Ample quantities of ideas and an exhaustive demonstration of the form used mean that you can not only cringe, but create your own horrific jokes. After introducing the book and its uses, Hugh takes us through an enormous combination of terrible one-liners and question and answer jokes. The conclusion of the book meanwhile is framed in riddles both ordinary and poetic in form.

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396095
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178

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Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!

Author: Dad Says Jokes
Publisher: Cassell
ISBN: 1788402030
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 272

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Book Description
THE BRAND-NEW BOOK FROM @DADSAYSJOKES hr All New Dad Jokes is the second book from the most followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @DadSaysJokes. Now with a following of over 1 million, All New Dad Jokes provides brand new gags guaranteed to leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. @DadSaysJokes is a community-run Instagram account with more than a million followers, inspired by the daily jokes of author Kit Chilvers' dad, Andrew. Every day, followers submit their jokes and the team picks their favourites - or Dad just drops in his own zinger! Kit, a young social networking mastermind started his career at the tender age of 14, when he created his original platform, Football.Newz, to serve audiences for the World cup 2014. He has recently added another nine platforms in different genres (of which @DadSaysJokes is one), with nine million followers and rising. This is his second book. Q: Where do naughty rainbows go? A: Prism.

Author: Hugh Murmie
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108

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Book Description
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Author: Charna Halpern
Publisher: Meriwether Publishing
ISBN: 9781566080033
Category : Improvisation (Acting)
Languages : en
Pages : 164

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Book Description
The 'Harold', an innovative improvisational tool, helped many actors on the road to TV and film stardom, including George Wendt (Norm on Cheers). Now it is described fully in this new book for would-be actors and comics. The 'Harold' is a form of competitive improv involving 6 or 7 players. They take a theme suggestion from the audience and 'free associate' on the theme into a series of rapid-fire one-liners that build into totally unpredictable skits with hilarious results. The 'Harold' is a fun way to 'loosen up' and learn to think quickly, build continuity, develop characterisations and sharpen humour.

Author: M. C. Jepsen
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 103

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Book Description
Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...