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The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs PDF Author: Esther Perel
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062322605
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 321

Book Description
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs PDF Author: Esther Perel
Publisher: HarperCollins
ISBN: 0062322605
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 321

Book Description
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”

When Good People Have Affairs

When Good People Have Affairs PDF Author: Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher: Macmillan
ISBN: 1429944706
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
A world-renowned therapist, Mira Kirshenbaum has treated thousands of men and women caught in the powerful drama over what to do when an affair reaches into their emotional lives. Now, in When Good People Have Affairs, Kirshenbaum puts her unsurpassed experience into one clear, calming place. She gives readers everything they need to cut through the thickets of fear, hurt and confusion to find their ways to happier, more solid relationships with the person who's right for them. For example, Kirshenbaum identifies seventeen types of affairs, helping readers figure out which type they're in and what it means. Is it a: --"See-if" affair? --Ejector-seat affair? --Distraction affair? --Unmet-needs affair? --Panic affair? Kirshenbaum encourages honest answers to such questions as: --What am I missing in my marriage? --How do I decide between two people when it's like comparing an apple to an orange? --How do I decide to end my marriage, end my affair, or end them both? She leads readers through six easy-to-navigate steps that will take anyone from anxiety to clarity. When Good People Have Affairs will be a lifeline to any man or woman who feels caught between two lovers, and its insights are indispensable to anyone else touched by an affair.

Infidelity and Other Affairs

Infidelity and Other Affairs PDF Author: Kate Legge
Publisher: Thames & Hudson Australia
ISBN: 1760763055
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 141

Book Description
One cannot fail to be entranced by Legge's bone-deep strength and wisdom." Annabel Crabb "Unflinchingly investigating the value of monogamy and the true cost of betrayal." Trent Dalton What do you do when your partner's infidelity upends your life? When you have to face up to your own addictions? Mental illnesses rain down on those you love? Parents die, careers end, love is found in unexpected places. As a journalist, Kate Legge often sought answers to how people reckon with bad hands dealt or bad decisions. Then came her own search when faced with her husband's affair that unearthed a fault line of unfaithfulness running through four generations of his family. Is infidelity a predisposition or learned behaviour? Infidelity and Other Affairs starts with this puzzle then contemplates life's curveballs as Legge strives to understand how we become who we are. To her own surprise, she finds strength and peace where revenge and hate were imagined.

Emotional Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity PDF Author: M. Gary Neuman
Publisher: Harmony
ISBN: 0307565688
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 322

Book Description
What’s holding you back from a great marriage? “I don’t believe in ‘okay,’ ‘decent,’ or ‘solid’ marriages. I’m against them,” says M. Gary Neuman. “I believe only in great marriages, and that you should expect and reach for no less.” In the last fifteen years, M. Gary Neuman, marital therapist and architect of the Sandcastles Divorce Therapy Program, has helped thousands of couples in crisis. Couples who fight. Who’ve grown apart. Who are stuck in relationships that run more on routine and rancor than love and understanding. What he’s found is that, contrary to popular belief, the problem is usually not poor communication. It’s the failure to put most of your focus into your marriage. You’ve only got so much energy. Are you spending it by being emotionally unfaithful? Take a quick check: Do you send that funny e-mail to your friends at work—but not to your spouse? Do you chew over all the problems on the job so thoroughly with your colleagues that by the time you get home, you just don’t feel like going into it all over again? Do you get a secret thrill out of flirting with coworkers—thinking it’s safe because you know it’s not going any further? If so, you’re committing emotional infidelity—and you’re draining your marriage of the energy it needs to be great. Learning how to break this cycle is one of eleven secrets M. Gary Neuman shares in his provocative new book. Based on the ten-week program he’s developed in his successful couples counseling practice, the book offers guidelines that are often counterintuitive, even outrageous or shocking. But they work. Dare to limit contact with members of the opposite sex. Dare to need each other. Dare to put in writing the nitty-gritty realities of a marriage plan. Dare to put your marriage before your kids or job. Dare to make love in a whole new way. Dare to change your focus: make the commitment to focus on each of the eleven secrets (ten plus one bonus secret) for one week apiece and you’ll reap the rewards of a transformed marriage and a reconfirmed relationship. M. Gary Neuman’s program is guaranteed to challenge you and make you reexamine the myths holding you back from true happiness and satisfaction. It will change your marriage forever.

My Husband's Affair BECAME the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

My Husband's Affair BECAME the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me PDF Author: Anne Bercht
Publisher: FriesenPress
ISBN: 1525575309
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 380

Book Description
"When Brian told me of his affair, my whole world was shattered. Since the affair, and since the difficult recovery period, I have excelled in amazing ways in every area of my life. I look and feel better than I did when I was in my twenties. I have more energy, more zeal and more enthusiasm for life. Since I have gotten over my insecurities, I experience far better relationships with my husband, children and others. I also have more fun. No matter what tragedies happen in our lives, we always have a choice, not a choice over what will happen to us, but a choice over how we will react to it. Will we become bitter or better? I chose to become better, and now my greatest tragedy has also become my greatest personal victory." – Anne Bercht "Would I want to go back to our marriage before the affair? Not a chance! Would I have liked to have gotten to this point some other way? Absolutely! Would I recommend an affair to others so they can reach a greater love and better marriage? Absolutely not! If you have experienced an affair, is rebuilding your marriage worth it? You bet it is! As long as you love each other and are willing to do the work." – Brian Bercht

Getting Past the Affair

Getting Past the Affair PDF Author: Douglas K. Snyder
Publisher: Guilford Press
ISBN: 1606237993
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 353

Book Description
This book has been replaced by Getting Past the Affair, Second Edition, ISBN 978-1-4625-4748-7.

Lust in Translation

Lust in Translation PDF Author: Pamela Druckerman
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101666927
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 255

Book Description
Compared to the citizens of just about every other nation, Americans are the least adept at having affairs, have the most trouble enjoying them, and suffer the most in their aftermath and Pamela Druckerman has the facts to prove it. The journalist's surprising findings include: Russian spouses don't count beach resort flings as infidelity South Africans consider drunkenness an adequate excuse for extramarital sex Japanese businessmen believe, "If you pay, it's not cheating." Voyeuristic and packed with eyebrow-raising statistics and interviews, Lust in Translation is her funny and fact-filled world tour of infidelity that will give new meaning to the phrase "practicing monogamy."

NOT "Just Friends"

NOT Author: Shirley Glass
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1416586407
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 450

Book Description
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

Surviving an Affair

Surviving an Affair PDF Author: Willard F. Jr. Harley
Publisher: Revell
ISBN: 0800717589
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 224

Book Description
A practical guide to coping with infidelity, explaining how affairs begin, how to end them, and how to restore the marriage afterwards.

Cheating in a Nutshell

Cheating in a Nutshell PDF Author: Wayne Mitchell
Publisher: Third Ghost Press
ISBN: 1948158019
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 265

Book Description
Cheated on…Battered by emotion…You don't know where to turn. You feel betrayed, devastated, embarrassed, angry, and completely heartbroken. You ask yourself, "How can I stop infidelity from ruining my life?" "How do I cope with this nightmare? You don't realize there is a roadmap that explains what you are going through. That roadmap is Cheating in a Nutshell. Knowledge is Power and Understanding is Liberating. Whatever shade of infidelity you're dealing with, it is powerfully painful – and the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. Understanding your pain will change your way of thinking almost immediately. This book is for you if: --You just learned your partner cheated on you --You have been staying with a cheating partner --You were betrayed in a past relationship and seek a deeper understanding of your feelings In Cheating in a Nutshell, Wayne and Tamara Mitchell explain the source of your pain. There is a way out of this darkness, and the first step is to understand the structure of this awful experience. "The focus is on the betrayed, not the cheater, and if you've been cheated on, I agree with other reviewers: This is the best book, the only one you need." – Reader Review It's never too late to understand why you feel as you do. Read Cheating in a Nutshell.