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If You Can't Trust Your Mother, Whom Can You Trust?

If You Can't Trust Your Mother, Whom Can You Trust? PDF Author: Leonard Shengold
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 0429914725
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 275

Book Description
The main theme of this book concerns the continuing psychic centrality of parents for their children. Several chapters examine an author and his works, outlining that author's relationships with parents, good-and-bad, and making descriptive comments about these based both on information gleaned from the author's life and writings as well as from observations found in autobiographies, biographies and critical works. Since these studies in part concern stories of child abuse and deprivation, the book predominantly illustrates bad parenting that seems to have contributed to the child's psychopathology. Yet in most cases there has also been an evocation by the trauma and deprivation of adaptive and even creative reactions--this positive effect also of course largely attributable to concomitant good parenting--and yet there are some cases where little of this seems to have existed and yet the children still turn out to be able to make something of themselves. The conditions that make for psychic health in a traumatized childhood are mysterious and can't always be accounted for.

If You Can't Trust Your Mother, Whom Can You Trust?

If You Can't Trust Your Mother, Whom Can You Trust? PDF Author: Leonard Shengold
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 0429914725
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 275

Book Description
The main theme of this book concerns the continuing psychic centrality of parents for their children. Several chapters examine an author and his works, outlining that author's relationships with parents, good-and-bad, and making descriptive comments about these based both on information gleaned from the author's life and writings as well as from observations found in autobiographies, biographies and critical works. Since these studies in part concern stories of child abuse and deprivation, the book predominantly illustrates bad parenting that seems to have contributed to the child's psychopathology. Yet in most cases there has also been an evocation by the trauma and deprivation of adaptive and even creative reactions--this positive effect also of course largely attributable to concomitant good parenting--and yet there are some cases where little of this seems to have existed and yet the children still turn out to be able to make something of themselves. The conditions that make for psychic health in a traumatized childhood are mysterious and can't always be accounted for.

Soul Murder

Soul Murder PDF Author: Leonard Shengold
Publisher: BoD – Books on Demand
ISBN: 0449905497
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 354

Book Description
To abuse or neglect a child, to deprive the child of his or her own identity and ability to experience joy in life, is to commit soul murder. Soul murder is the perpetration of brutal or subtle acts against children that result in their emotional bondage to the abuser and, finally, in their psychic and spiritual annihilation. In this compelling, disturbing, and superbly readable book, Dr. Leonard Shengold, clinical professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine, explores the devastating psychological effects of this trauma inflicted on a shocking number of children. Drawing on a lifetime of clinical experience and wide-ranging reading in world literature, Dr. Shengold examines the ravages of soul murder in the adult lives of his patients as well as in the lives and works of such seminal writers as George Orwell, Dickens, Chekhov, and Kipling. One hopeful note in this saga of pain is that a terrible childhood can, if survived, be a source of strength, as Dr. Shengold finds in the cases of Dickens and Orwell. Provocatively original in its approach to literature and psychology, unsettling in its vivid portrayal of the darker side of human nature, far-reaching in its conclusions, Soul Murder will stand alongside such works as Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child as one of the most important studies of the psyche to appear in decades.

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends

When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends PDF Author: Victoria Secunda
Publisher: Delta
ISBN: 0307431304
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 428

Book Description
“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.

Parenting Today’s Teens

Parenting Today’s Teens PDF Author: Mark Gregston
Publisher: Certa Publishing
ISBN: 1946466514
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 225

Book Description
Parenting today’s teens is not for cowards. Your teenager is facing unprecedented and confusing pressures, temptations, and challenges in today’s culture. Mark Gregston has helped teens and their parents through every struggle imaginable, and now he shares his biblical, practical insights with you in bite-size pieces. Punctuated with Scriptures, prayers, and penetrating questions, these one-page devotions will give you the wisdom and assurance you need to guide your teen through these years and reach the other side with relationships intact.

If You Can't Trust Your Mother, who Can You Trust?

If You Can't Trust Your Mother, who Can You Trust? PDF Author: Leonard Shengold
Publisher: Routledge
ISBN: 9781780491097
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 318

Book Description
The main theme of this book concerns the continuing psychic centrality of parents for their children. Several chapters examine an author and his works, outlining that author's relationships with parents, good-and-bad, and making descriptive comments about these based both on information gleaned from the author's life and writings as well as from observations found in autobiographies, biographies and critical works. Since these studies in part concern stories of child abuse and deprivation, the book predominantly illustrates bad parenting that seems to have contributed to the child's psychopathology. Yet in most cases there has also been an evocation by the trauma and deprivation of adaptive and even creative reactions--this positive effect also of course largely attributable to concomitant good parenting--and yet there are some cases where little of this seems to have existed and yet the children still turn out to be able to make something of themselves. The conditions that make for psychic health in a traumatized childhood are mysterious and can't always be accounted for.

Making Peace with Your Parents

Making Peace with Your Parents PDF Author: Harold H. Bloomfield
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780345309044
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 246

Book Description
"No one book resolves a lifetime of hurts and misunderstandings, but it can remove the blinders from our eyes. Make an effort now." LOS ANGELES TIMES No matter how old you are and whether or not your parents are alive, you have to come to terms with them. This wise and practical book will show you how to deal with the most fundamental relationships in your life and, in the process, become the happy, creative, and fulfilled person you are meant to be.

Change Your Life in 30 Days

Change Your Life in 30 Days PDF Author: Rhonda Britten
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780399530692
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 280

Book Description
Rhonda Britten, Life Coach on NBC's hit show Starting Over, guides readers on a 30-day step-by-step journey to help define goals and make extraordinary life changes in their lives, using practical insights, exercises, and inspiring wisdom. For those who want to make a major life change but have been too locked in fear to start, the answers lie within this book.

The Emotionally Absent Mother, Second Edition: How to Recognize and Cope with the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (Second)

The Emotionally Absent Mother, Second Edition: How to Recognize and Cope with the Invisible Effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (Second) PDF Author: Jasmin Lee Cori
Publisher: The Experiment, LLC
ISBN: 1615193839
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 353

Book Description
The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed “Years ago, I was on vacation and read The Emotionally Absent Mother. That book was one of many that woke me up. . . . I began the process of reparenting and it’s changed my life.”—Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times–bestselling author of How to Do the Work Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children).

Understanding the Borderline Mother

Understanding the Borderline Mother PDF Author: Christine Ann Lawson
Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
ISBN: 0765703319
Category : Borderline personality disorder
Languages : en
Pages : 350

Book Description
Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.

I Love You But I Don't Trust You

I Love You But I Don't Trust You PDF Author: Mira Kirshenbaum
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0425245314
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 305

Book Description
A guide to restoring trust in broken relationships from a renowed couple’s therapist. Is my relationship worth saving? Will the trust ever come back? How can things be good between us again? Whether broken trust is due to daily dishonesties, a monumental betrayal, or even a history of hurts from the past, it can put a relationship at risk. This is the first book to show you exactly what to do to restore trust in your relationship, regardless of how it was damaged. In this complete guide, couples therapist Mira Kirshenbaum will also help you understand the stages by which trust strengthens when the rebuilding process is allowed to take place. And you will learn how the two of you can avoid the mistakes that prevent healing and discover how to feel secure with each other again.