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Author: Leland Gregory Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing ISBN: 0740792083 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 306
Book Description
Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." --Tom DeLay, America's Community Bankers meeting, March 12, 2003 * After revealing absurd 911 phone calls and America's dumbest criminal antics, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers political pandering and pen-pushing philosophizing. Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside Idiots in Charge: Lies, Trick, Misdeeds, and Other Political Untruthiness Gregory offers more than 250 accounts of bumbling bureaucrats on both sides of political party lines: * David Spellman became mayor of Black Hawk, Colo., on July 12, 2006, a week after pleading guilty to felony menacing and third-degree assault for pistol-whipping his wife with a handgun and firing three shots in 2005. * County officials in Vermillion, Ind., were told by state homeland security officials in July 2006 to stop using the special emergency-only highway message boards to advertise their charity fish fries and spaghetti dinners. * District 1 Town Councilor David Watson resigned from his position as council vice chairman on January 23, 2007, after unintentionally forwarding an e-mail to 18 members of the New Elementary School Building Committee. The e-mail contained nine embedded images of topless women under the heading "This Is National Women's Breast Awareness Day." The only other text in the e-mail read, "Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?"
Author: Leland Gregory Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing ISBN: 0740792083 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 306
Book Description
Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." --Tom DeLay, America's Community Bankers meeting, March 12, 2003 * After revealing absurd 911 phone calls and America's dumbest criminal antics, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers political pandering and pen-pushing philosophizing. Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside Idiots in Charge: Lies, Trick, Misdeeds, and Other Political Untruthiness Gregory offers more than 250 accounts of bumbling bureaucrats on both sides of political party lines: * David Spellman became mayor of Black Hawk, Colo., on July 12, 2006, a week after pleading guilty to felony menacing and third-degree assault for pistol-whipping his wife with a handgun and firing three shots in 2005. * County officials in Vermillion, Ind., were told by state homeland security officials in July 2006 to stop using the special emergency-only highway message boards to advertise their charity fish fries and spaghetti dinners. * District 1 Town Councilor David Watson resigned from his position as council vice chairman on January 23, 2007, after unintentionally forwarding an e-mail to 18 members of the New Elementary School Building Committee. The e-mail contained nine embedded images of topless women under the heading "This Is National Women's Breast Awareness Day." The only other text in the e-mail read, "Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?"
Author: John O'Farrell Publisher: Doubleday Books ISBN: 9780385611992 Category : Great Britain Languages : en Pages : 498
Book Description
Many of us were put off history by the dry and dreary way it was taught at school. Back then -~The Origins of the Industrial Revolution' somehow seemed less compelling than the chance to test the bold claim on Timothy Johnson's -~Shatterproof' ruler.But here at last is a chance to have a good laugh and learn all that stuff you feel you really ought to know by now... In this -~Horrible History for Grown Ups' you can read how Anglo-Saxon liberals struggled to be positive about immigration; -~Look I think we have to try and respect the religious customs of our new Viking friends -" oi, he's nicked my bloody ox!'Discover how England's peculiar class system was established by some snobby French nobles whose posh descendents still have wine cellars and second homes in the Dordogne today. And explore the complex socio-economic reasons why Britain's kings were the first in Europe to be brought to heel; (because the Stuarts were such a useless bunch of untalented, incompetent, arrogant, upper-class thickoes that Parliament didn't have much choice.) A book about then that is also incisive and illuminating about now, -~2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge', is an hilarious, informative and cantankerous journey through Britain' fascinating and bizarre history.As entertaining as a witch burning, and a lot more laughs.
Author: Thomas Erikson Publisher: St. Martin's Essentials ISBN: 1250179955 Category : Business & Economics Languages : en Pages : 168
Book Description
Do you ever think you’re the only one making any sense? Or tried to reason with your partner with disastrous results? Do long, rambling answers drive you crazy? Or does your colleague’s abrasive manner rub you the wrong way? You are not alone. After a disastrous meeting with a highly successful entrepreneur, who was genuinely convinced he was ‘surrounded by idiots’, communication expert and bestselling author, Thomas Erikson dedicated himself to understanding how people function and why we often struggle to connect with certain types of people. Surrounded by Idiots is an international phenomenon, selling over 1.5 million copies worldwide. It offers a simple, yet ground-breaking method for assessing the personalities of people we communicate with – in and out of the office – based on four personality types (Red, Blue, Green and Yellow), and provides insights into how we can adjust the way we speak and share information. Erikson will help you understand yourself better, hone communication and social skills, handle conflict with confidence, improve dynamics with your boss and team, and get the best out of the people you deal with and manage. He also shares simple tricks on body language, improving written communication, advice on when to back away or when to push on, and when to speak up or shut up. Packed with ‘aha!’ and ‘oh no!’ moments, Surrounded by Idiots will help you understand and communicate with those around you, even people you currently think are beyond all comprehension. And with a bit of luck you can also be confident that the idiot out there isn’t you!
Author: John Hoover Publisher: ReadHowYouWant.com ISBN: 1427095167 Category : Career development Languages : en Pages : 402
Book Description
John Hoover, an organizational leadership consultant, discusses how to deal with an "Idiot Boss" - or I-Boss - who does stupid things. Hoover distinguishes idiots from other tricky bosses, including those who think they are God, or who are paranoid, sadistic or Machiavellian. He leaves the reader with a couple of issues. First, you'll think no good, caring bosses still exist. Second, he doesn't tell you clearly where to set boundaries or when enough is finally enough. He often advocates appeasing bad bosses, although his other counsel on how to deal with them has some effective pointers. To his credit, Hoover is very candid about how he has learned from experience, including his mistakes. He offers personal examples from his experiences at Disney and elsewhere, and tries to write in a light-hearted or whimsical vein. getAbstract.com finds the book strongest when it is strategic and weakest when it tries to be funny, given that with bad bosses you only laugh to keep from crying.
Author: David SMITH Publisher: ISBN: 9781079384543 Category : Languages : en Pages : 85
Book Description
In this day and age everything around us is automatic and our desire to automate more stuff is only increasing. Control systems finds its applications in everything you can possibly think of. The concept of Control system plays an important role in the working of, everything from home appliances to guided missiles to self-driving cars. These are just the examples of Control systems we create. Control systems also exist in nature. Within our own body, there are numerous control systems, such as the pancreas, which regulate our blood sugar. In the most abstract sense it is possible to consider every physical object a control system. Hence from an engineering perspective, it is absolutely crucial to be familiar with the analysis and designing methods of such Control systems. Control systems is one of those subjects that go beyond a particular branch of engineering. Control systems find its application in Mechanical, Electrical, Electronics, Civil Engineering and many other branches of engineering. Although this book is written in an Electrical engineering context, we are sure that others can also easily follow the topics and learn a thing or two about Control systems.In this book we provide a concise introduction into classical Control theory. A basic knowledge of Calculus and some Physics are the only prerequisites required to follow the topics discussed in the book. In this book, We've tried to explain the various fundamental concepts of Control Theory in an intuitive manner with minimum math. Also, We've tried to connect the various topics with real life situations wherever possible. This way even first timers can learn the basics of Control systems with minimum effort. Hopefully the students will enjoy this different approach to Control Systems. The various concepts of the subject are arranged logically and explained in a simple reader-friendly language with MATLAB examples.This book is not meant to be a replacement for those standard Control systems textbooks, rather this book should be viewed as an introductory text for beginners to come in grips with advanced level topics covered in those books. This book will hopefully serve as inspiration to learn Control systems in greater depths.
Author: Glenn Beck Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1439166838 Category : Political Science Languages : en Pages : 338
Book Description
Glenn Beck, the New York Times bestselling author of The Great Reset, provides the ultimate handbook for tackling and winning life’s most important arguments. FUNNY. FRIGHTENING. TRUE. The #1 New York Times bestseller that gives you the right answers when idiots leave you speechless! It happens to all of us: You’re minding your own business, when some idiot* informs you that guns are evil, the Prius will save the planet, or the rich have to finally start paying their fair share of taxes. Just go away! you think to yourself—but they only get more obnoxious. Your heart rate quickens. You start to sweat. But never fear, for Glenn Beck has stumbled upon the secret formula to winning arguments against people with big mouths and small minds: knowing the facts. And this book is full of them. The next time your Idiot Friends tell you how gun control prevents gun violence, you’ll tell them all about England’s handgun ban (see page 53). When they insist that we should copy the UK’s health-care system, you’ll recount the horrifying facts you read on page 244. And the next time you hear how produce prices will skyrocket without illegal workers, you’ll have the perfect rebuttal (from page 139). Armed with the ultimate weapon—the truth—you can now tolerate (and who knows, maybe even enjoy?) your encounters with idiots everywhere! *Idiots can’t be identified through voting records; look instead for people who hide behind stereotypes, embrace partisanship, and believe that bumper sticker slogans are a substitute for common sense.
Author: Ermanno Cavazzoni Publisher: ISBN: 9781939663535 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 192
Book Description
A blissful and baneful litany of human stupidity, from Italian fantastical absurdist Ermanno Cavazzoni A parody of the medieval Lives of the Saints, Ermanno Cavazzoni's Brief Lives of Idiotsoffers us a perfect month of portraits of idiots drawn from real life, from overly realist writers to fringe-belief obsessives, punctuated every seventh day with a litany of suicides--failed, foolish or fatal to others. This roll call extends the ridiculous to melancholic extremes, introducing us to such exemplary fools as the father and husband unable to recognize his own family, the Marxist convinced that Christ was an extraterrestrial, the would-be saint who finds a private martyrdom through the torturous confinement of a pair of ill-fitting leather oxfords and the man who failed to realize that he had spent two years in a concentration camp. This is a display of myriad idiocy, discovered and achieved by hook or by crook, be it through paranoia, misapplied methodology, religious hallucination or relentless diarrhea. But Cavazzoni engages in neither finger pointing nor celebration. If saints can be counted, idiots cannot: idiocy is ultimately the human condition. Ermanno Cavazzoni(born 1947) is the award-winning author of many fantastic and absurd tales. He is a professor at the University of Bologna and a member of the literary group OpLePo, an Italian spin-off of the OuLiPo.
Author: David Newman Publisher: AMACOM ISBN: 0814432875 Category : Language Arts & Disciplines Languages : en Pages : 291
Book Description
Discover the principles, practices, and insider secrets of paid professional speaking success in 77 instant-access “microchapters” that will help you market your smarts, monetize your message, and dramatically expand your reach and revenue. For thought-leading CEOs, executives, consultants, and entrepreneurs, the true test of your personal brand comes down to one simple question: When you speak, do people listen? In Do It! Speaking, nationally-acclaimed marketing expert and host of the The Speaking Show Podcast David Newman teaches you how to build a thriving speaking career. Regardless of the speaking venue: in-person events, virtual appearances, conference stages, and any other place where you are being paid to share your expertise with an audience, the powerful articulation of your value, relevance, and impact is what makes experts stand out. But where do you start when you’re trying to build your speaking platform? This book is the definitive guide on how to: Develop your speaking-driven revenue streams. Quickly commercialize your knowledge in today’s economy. Bolster your visibility, credibility, and bank account. Become a better messenger of your company’s message and dominate your marketplace. Do It! Speaking shows you the inside track on marketing, positioning, packaging, prospecting, outreach, sales, and how to get more and better speaking gigs on behalf of your company, your brand, and yourself.
Author: Marta Plazuk Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 50
Book Description
Funny Gag Gift for people who worry to much about what other people think. Only one advice in this book: FU*K'EM! repeate daily like mantra!
Author: Laura Clery Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1982167122 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 256
Book Description
A fresh, hilarious, and relatable collection of essays about everything from motherhood and marriage to sobriety and work-life balance (or imbalance) from the nationally bestselling author of the “honest, complicated” (SheKnows) Idiot. TRIGGER WARNING: TORN EVERYTHING! In her first book, Idiot, bestselling author Laura Clery gave us mind-blowingly personal life stories about addiction, toxic relationships, and recovery—establishing herself as the preeminent voice of infinite conviction meets zero impulse control. Here she is two kids later asking, “How did we get here?” Sex. Sex is how we got here. Laura’s life has changed a great deal since she wrote Idiot, but her hilarious candor has only increased with motherhood—plus she tells some of the stories she was too scared to tell in her first book (which is really saying something). “Full of wit” (Publishers Weekly) and charm, Laura shares more than anyone wanted about: -Placenta pills, mom brain, and vibrator manifestation -Nipple-twisting orgies and flinging a butt burrito in your doctor’s face -ADHD, autism, postpartum depression, and the wisdom of a ninety-eight-year-old sage named Anne -Unsolicited dick, sexual assault, and sister-drugging -Cheating, fights, and forgiveness -Choosing love over fear and healing the world Laura does not hold back when it comes to sharing stories of screw-ups, triumphs, and learning from her mistakes. Whether she’s crying into a diaper in a Whole Foods parking lot or desperately soliciting advice from a random elderly stranger (who has most certainly considered a restraining order), Laura is able to laugh at herself even during her worst moments—more importantly, she makes us laugh, cry, and feel less alone in the world.
Author: Leland Gregory
Author: Leland Gregory
Author: John O'Farrell
Author: Thomas Erikson
Author: John Hoover
Author: David SMITH
Author: Glenn Beck
Author: Ermanno Cavazzoni
Author: David Newman
Author: Marta Plazuk
Author: Laura Clery