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Author: Rita Rudner Publisher: Crown Archetype ISBN: 0307449475 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 274
Book Description
I bought a new wrinkle cream. If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month. Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks. I ate it. As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word. In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all. So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.
Author: Rita Rudner Publisher: Crown Archetype ISBN: 0307449475 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 274
Book Description
I bought a new wrinkle cream. If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month. Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks. I ate it. As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word. In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all. So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.
Author: Rita Rudner Publisher: Crown ISBN: 9780307394606 Category : Aging Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."--O, The Oprah Magazine
Author: Jenna McCarthy Publisher: Penguin ISBN: 0698145860 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 335
Book Description
Welcome to Middle Age! Please check your functioning internal thermostat and razor-sharp memory at the door and pour yourself a nice, stiff drink... Jenna McCarthy might be forty-something, but she doesn’t feel forty-something. She certainly doesn’t look forty-something. (Actually she does, but she’s in denial so maybe don’t mention it?) And between complaining about how tired she is, trying to remember what she came in here for and wondering whether she drinks too much, she does not have time for a crisis. She has, however, had time to crack the mysterious midlife code. She’s figured out how to tame her muffin top, keep the spark in her marriage and probably not die a fiery hoarder’s death. She’s learned the trick to looking ten years younger and the secret to feeling ten times happier (and it only cost $14.99 plus shipping and handling). And she’s discovered the one thing she will need to do for the rest of ever if she’s going to continue to refuse to “dress her age.” Tackling everything from cosmetic surgery and financial panic to skinny jeans and the meaning of life, I’ve Still Got It... is a middle age manifesto filled with hilarious misadventures, humiliating confessions and occasional (hot) flashes of genius.
Author: Harry Lorayne Publisher: Ballantine Books ISBN: 0307814068 Category : Self-Help Languages : en Pages : 239
Book Description
Unleash the hidden power of your mind It’s there in all of us. A mental resource we don’t think much about. Memory. And now there’s a way to master its power. . . . Through Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas’s simple, fail-safe memory system, you can become more effective, more imaginative, and more powerful at work, at school, in sports, and at play. • Read with speed and greater understanding. • File phone numbers, data, figures, and appointments right in your head. • Send those birthday and anniversary cards on time. • Learn foreign words and phrases with ease. • Shine in the classroom and shorten study hours. • Dominate social situations: Remember and use important personal details. Begin today. The change in your life will be unforgettable
Author: Lee Pearce Publisher: Xlibris Corporation ISBN: Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 185
Book Description
This is a book about history and religion and wisdom if you are going too be sucked in by Jehovah witnesses and the Vatican you need too read this book it tells all about Jehovah and what priests are doing and what they are making you think. This book is for all people young and wise too old and unwise. This book is too tell you that if you are wise and normal. When you die and are good you will go too heaven. With billions of other beings that have left the earth.so too be a god or goddess. All you. Need too do is not sin.and do or have good thoughts.
Author: E. R. Odhomi Publisher: E.R. Odhomi ISBN: 1463670672 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 297
Book Description
In the ancient world of the Inner Realm a young slave blacksmith named Aurovin in servitude of an evil empire, is chosen by the slave leaders of his people to escape and embark on a perilous journey to find new lands where they can live as a free tribe. But Aurovin's journey is greatly hindered by a brewing rift between the great powers of the Inner Realm. This rift escalates after king Pavros, overlord of the Muldovene Empire, barely escapes a botched assassination on his life. The Muldovene king sets his eyes on the empire's arch-enemy as the primary culprit; the Warrior King Sapien, and the kingdom of Arencia. Aurovin's journey and perils are gradually intertwined into the numerous events and conflicts that will inevitably lead to the Great War. During his journey, Aurovin encounters several characters such as Belciender and Zaadu, two young adventurers from Arencia who are on a mission on behalf of their king to the kingdom of Traccia to unravel a growing conspiracy that may further threatens the sovereignty of the Arencian realm. He also meets Janus, a burly jester whom Aurovin saves while escaping the clutches of a powerful enemy from a dungeon. All four eventually join forces together to battle an evil order bent on attaining absolute power over the Inner Realm. Unfortunately, as Aurovin makes new friends and acquaintances, the young blacksmith makes just as many enemies on his lone quest, most notably the handmaster, the devious and diabolic master of the order of the Dark Hand, who searches for an ancient power that will grant the holder control over the most unstoppable army ever assembled, one even more powerful than the empire's. These villainous characters, such as king Pavros, the handmaster, along with many others, will undoubtedly reshape Aurovin's perspective of the cultures and politics of the Inner Realm beyond the confines of his humble home and people, and this forces him to doubt if there really is a better world for his people outside the empire. This climatic struggle between good and evil will finally culminate on the battlefield between the armies of the all powerful empire and its allies against the legendary warrior king, Sapien and his undefeated Arencian army. Aurovin's journey is filled with death, betrayal, deception, superstition, mythology and love in world where only the wisest and the most cunning will be strong enough to attain ultimate power, and the weak and cowardly will be forced into servitude. Only time will tell if the blacksmith attains victory and finally finds the 'Promise Land' that was prophesied by the oracle of his people.
Author: Rita Rudner
Author: Rita Rudner
Author: Rita Rudner
Author: Jenna McCarthy
Author: Harry Lorayne
Author: 
Author: Lee Pearce
Author: 
Author: New York (State). Legislature. Assembly
Author: E. R. Odhomi
Author: