I Still Have It . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It PDF Download

Author: Rita Rudner
Publisher: Crown Archetype
ISBN: 0307449475
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 274

View

Book Description
I bought a new wrinkle cream. If you use it once a day, you look younger in a month. Twice a day, you look younger in two weeks. I ate it. As the years go by, and the decades begin to pile up, people will do just about anything to reverse the signs of aging: LASIK surgery, industrial-strength hair dye, seven consecutive forty-ninth birthday parties. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she turned fifty, she couldn’t even bear to say the word. In I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It, Rudner writes with humor and candor about all of the small indignities and everyday absurdities that have become standard fare. From the perils of catalog-ordering addiction to the challenges of keeping up with the latest in electronics, lingerie, and reality television to the joys and worries of being an older mother to the long search for the perfect retirement house, Rita covers it all. So put on your bifocals and power up your sense of humor! Just don’t blame Rita when your laugh lines get visibly deeper. Refreshingly honest and undeniably hilarious, I Still Have It . . . I Just Can’t Remember Where I Put It is a laugh-out-loud look at the wonders and the surprises of life on the dark side of fifty.

Author: Rita Rudner
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 9780307394606
Category : Aging
Languages : en
Pages : 0

View

Book Description
While there are people who actually embrace getting older (although we confess not to know any) most try to deny it. Rita Rudner is no exception. When she reached 50, she couldn't even bear to admit it: "It was more comfortable getting a laugh and telling people I was filthy than having to say the word fffiffffty," she writes. In her hysterically dead-on book I Still Have It...I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It, she relates her absurd adventures as a woman of a certain age navigating the strange and terrifyingly funny world of "near-sighted insights." In chapters such as "Artificially Hip"; "Older Than Springtime, Younger Than Angela Lansbury"; "I Won't Blog, Don't Ask Me"; and "The Advantage of Vintage," Rudner tackles body issues, style, and technology, and looks at the wonders and surprises of life on the dark side of 50. So put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh. Just don't blame Rita if your laugh lines become visibly deeper. "Sexy deadpan is comedian Rita Rudner's trademark style, never more in evidence than in I Still Have It ... I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It ... Pure vaudeville, a kick at any age."--O, The Oprah Magazine

Author: Jenna McCarthy
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698145860
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 335

View

Book Description
Welcome to Middle Age! Please check your functioning internal thermostat and razor-sharp memory at the door and pour yourself a nice, stiff drink... Jenna McCarthy might be forty-something, but she doesn’t feel forty-something. She certainly doesn’t look forty-something. (Actually she does, but she’s in denial so maybe don’t mention it?) And between complaining about how tired she is, trying to remember what she came in here for and wondering whether she drinks too much, she does not have time for a crisis. She has, however, had time to crack the mysterious midlife code. She’s figured out how to tame her muffin top, keep the spark in her marriage and probably not die a fiery hoarder’s death. She’s learned the trick to looking ten years younger and the secret to feeling ten times happier (and it only cost $14.99 plus shipping and handling). And she’s discovered the one thing she will need to do for the rest of ever if she’s going to continue to refuse to “dress her age.” Tackling everything from cosmetic surgery and financial panic to skinny jeans and the meaning of life, I’ve Still Got It... is a middle age manifesto filled with hilarious misadventures, humiliating confessions and occasional (hot) flashes of genius.

Author: Kurt Vonnegut
Publisher: Dial Press
ISBN: 0440339073
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 290

View

Book Description
“Vonnegut is George Orwell, Dr. Caligari and Flash Gordon compounded into one writer . . . a zany but moral mad scientist.”—Time Mother Night is a daring challenge to our moral sense. American Howard W. Campbell, Jr., a spy during World War II, is now on trial in Israel as a Nazi war criminal. But is he really guilty? In this brilliant book rife with true gallows humor, Vonnegut turns black and white into a chilling shade of gray with a verdict that will haunt us all. “A great artist.”—Cincinnati Enquirer “A shaking up in the kaleidoscope of laughter . . . Reading Vonnegut is addictive!”—Commonweal

Author: Jenna McCarthy
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101545003
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 231

View

Book Description
"Hilarious, smart, and utterly addicting. Watch out, Nora Ephron." -Valerie Frankel Jenna McCarthy presents an uproarious but insightful peek behind the curtains at the unholy state of matrimony. With ballsy wit and bawdy humor, she explores everything from male domestic idiocy and the frustrating misfires in spousal communication to how to stay true to the peskiest of vows: forsaking all others. Part in-your-face guide, part brutal confession, this book is a must-read manifesto on surviving marriage in an age when everyone seems to live forever and getting a divorce is as easy as ordering a latte.

Author: Naveed Saleh
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1599637529
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 305

View

Book Description
Master the art of article writing! The world of journalism is changing rapidly, and the modern journalist needs more than a basic knowledge of article writing to navigate it. The Complete Guide to Article Writing provides a compass for freelancers and students of journalism looking to write successfully on a wide variety of topics and for many different markets--both in print and online. From researching and interviewing to writing features, reviews, news articles, opinion pieces, and even blog posts, this one-stop guide will illuminate the intricacies of article writing so you can produce entertaining, informative, and salable articles. • Learn how to write coherently, cohesively, and concisely. • Choose the proper structure for the article you want to write. • Weave narrative and fact seamlessly into your pieces. • Develop your freelance platform with the latest in social media outlets. • Pitch your ideas like a pro. • Develop a professional relationship with editors. • And much more! Modern journalism can be a treacherous terrain, but with The Complete Guide to Article Writing as your companion, you'll not only survive the journey--you'll be able to write pieces that inform, entertain, inspire, delight--and sell!

Author: Shane Parrish
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0593719972
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 209

View

Book Description
Discover the essential thinking tools you’ve been missing with The Great Mental Models series by Shane Parrish, New York Times bestselling author and the mind behind the acclaimed Farnam Street blog and “The Knowledge Project” podcast. This first book in the series is your guide to learning the crucial thinking tools nobody ever taught you. Time and time again, great thinkers such as Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett have credited their success to mental models–representations of how something works that can scale onto other fields. Mastering a small number of mental models enables you to rapidly grasp new information, identify patterns others miss, and avoid the common mistakes that hold people back. The Great Mental Models: Volume 1, General Thinking Concepts shows you how making a few tiny changes in the way you think can deliver big results. Drawing on examples from history, business, art, and science, this book details nine of the most versatile, all-purpose mental models you can use right away to improve your decision making and productivity. This book will teach you how to: Avoid blind spots when looking at problems. Find non-obvious solutions. Anticipate and achieve desired outcomes. Play to your strengths, avoid your weaknesses, … and more. The Great Mental Models series demystifies once elusive concepts and illuminates rich knowledge that traditional education overlooks. This series is the most comprehensive and accessible guide on using mental models to better understand our world, solve problems, and gain an advantage.

Author: Lee Pearce
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 185

View

Book Description
This is a book about history and religion and wisdom if you are going too be sucked in by Jehovah witnesses and the Vatican you need too read this book it tells all about Jehovah and what priests are doing and what they are making you think. This book is for all people young and wise too old and unwise. This book is too tell you that if you are wise and normal. When you die and are good you will go too heaven. With billions of other beings that have left the earth.so too be a god or goddess. All you. Need too do is not sin.and do or have good thoughts.

Author:
Publisher: Forever Is Too Short
ISBN: 1300843233
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 224

View

Book Description

Author: E. R. Odhomi
Publisher: E.R. Odhomi
ISBN: 1463670672
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 297

View

Book Description
In the ancient world of the Inner Realm a young slave blacksmith named Aurovin in servitude of an evil empire, is chosen by the slave leaders of his people to escape and embark on a perilous journey to find new lands where they can live as a free tribe. But Aurovin's journey is greatly hindered by a brewing rift between the great powers of the Inner Realm. This rift escalates after king Pavros, overlord of the Muldovene Empire, barely escapes a botched assassination on his life. The Muldovene king sets his eyes on the empire's arch-enemy as the primary culprit; the Warrior King Sapien, and the kingdom of Arencia. Aurovin's journey and perils are gradually intertwined into the numerous events and conflicts that will inevitably lead to the Great War. During his journey, Aurovin encounters several characters such as Belciender and Zaadu, two young adventurers from Arencia who are on a mission on behalf of their king to the kingdom of Traccia to unravel a growing conspiracy that may further threatens the sovereignty of the Arencian realm. He also meets Janus, a burly jester whom Aurovin saves while escaping the clutches of a powerful enemy from a dungeon. All four eventually join forces together to battle an evil order bent on attaining absolute power over the Inner Realm. Unfortunately, as Aurovin makes new friends and acquaintances, the young blacksmith makes just as many enemies on his lone quest, most notably the handmaster, the devious and diabolic master of the order of the Dark Hand, who searches for an ancient power that will grant the holder control over the most unstoppable army ever assembled, one even more powerful than the empire's. These villainous characters, such as king Pavros, the handmaster, along with many others, will undoubtedly reshape Aurovin's perspective of the cultures and politics of the Inner Realm beyond the confines of his humble home and people, and this forces him to doubt if there really is a better world for his people outside the empire. This climatic struggle between good and evil will finally culminate on the battlefield between the armies of the all powerful empire and its allies against the legendary warrior king, Sapien and his undefeated Arencian army. Aurovin's journey is filled with death, betrayal, deception, superstition, mythology and love in world where only the wisest and the most cunning will be strong enough to attain ultimate power, and the weak and cowardly will be forced into servitude. Only time will tell if the blacksmith attains victory and finally finds the 'Promise Land' that was prophesied by the oracle of his people.