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Putting the Fun in Funeral

Putting the Fun in Funeral PDF Author: Diana Pharaoh Francis
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944756079
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Beck Wyatt has always hated her mother-enough to kill her. As luck would have it, someone beats her to murdering Mommy Dearest and now Beck gets to plan the tackiest funeral the world has ever seen for the worst woman she's ever known.But first, Beck has a few minor problems to deal with. First on the list? Avoid getting kidnapped. She also has to convince the police she didn't kill her mother. And then there's surviving a death curse ¿.With the help of her three best friends, cheesecake, and a little magic, Beck figures she can handle anything, even the mysterious and irritating Damon Matroviani, whose sexy good-looks light her panties on fire.All too soon, her life is turned inside out, and just when things are looking like they can't get any worse ¿ everything hits the fan.

Putting the Fun in Funeral

Putting the Fun in Funeral PDF Author: Diana Pharaoh Francis
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781944756079
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Beck Wyatt has always hated her mother-enough to kill her. As luck would have it, someone beats her to murdering Mommy Dearest and now Beck gets to plan the tackiest funeral the world has ever seen for the worst woman she's ever known.But first, Beck has a few minor problems to deal with. First on the list? Avoid getting kidnapped. She also has to convince the police she didn't kill her mother. And then there's surviving a death curse ¿.With the help of her three best friends, cheesecake, and a little magic, Beck figures she can handle anything, even the mysterious and irritating Damon Matroviani, whose sexy good-looks light her panties on fire.All too soon, her life is turned inside out, and just when things are looking like they can't get any worse ¿ everything hits the fan.

Dark Needs at Night's Edge

Dark Needs at Night's Edge PDF Author: Kresley Cole
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1501120646
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 400

Book Description
Conrad Wroth, a half-mad vampire imprisoned in a haunted manor to prevent him from harming others, finds himself tormented by the ghost of the once-famous ballerina Neomi Laress and decides to set her free in order to take her as his own.

Dead Jokes

Dead Jokes PDF Author: Jim Reaper
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781724152206
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 56

Book Description
Put the fun back in funeral with DEAD JOKES. A collection of tasteless jokes about death. Nothing is off limits.Most of these joke are crude and if you are easily offended then maybe you should check out DAD JOKES which are typically far less shocking. These jokes are not politically correct and will offend some people. Not suitable for children. Not suitable for adults who are not morally corrupt.

The Party of Your Life

The Party of Your Life PDF Author: Erika Dillman
Publisher: Santa Monica Press
ISBN: 1595808825
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 266

Book Description
The Party of Your Life is a lively, irreverent guide to putting the F-U-N back in funeral. This upbeat book will appeal to adults of all ages who want a send-off that reflects their interests, achievements, and taste. The Party of Your Life will help readers explore the full range of creative, culinary, musical, and theatrical possibilities of a well-planned (i.e., self-planned) end-of-life party. Baby Boomers, Gen-Xers, and younger generations not interested in having a traditional funeral will appreciate author Erika Dillman’s hip and humorous approach to planning your own funeral. Topics covered in the book include: It Takes a Village: Your Funeral Posse Who’s Hot, Who’s Not: Planning Your Guest List Menus, Massage, and Mojitos: Care and Feeding of Guests Dance This Mess Around: Your Funeral Soundtrack Bye-Bye Bling: Your Funeral Gift Bags With the help of The Party of Your Life, the newly dead will rest in peace knowing the tips in the book have helped reduce the drama and strain on their survivors, who are likely experiencing the most painful time of their lives.

Denton Little's Deathdate

Denton Little's Deathdate PDF Author: Lance Rubin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 147112424X
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 308

Book Description
'Denton's funny, self-effacing genuineness will keep readers rooting for him' Kirkus Reviews 'Full belly-laugh funny' Notes From The Underground 'Freaking hilarious' goodreads.com 'Very, very funny . . . fresh, original and an absolute joy to read' thebookbag.co.uk 'This book! Oh my god, this book is brilliant! … It's so exciting and awesome! Who has ever heard of a teen angsty, hilariously funny, fast-paced, exciting dystopian? I love it!' Once Upon a Bookcase The first of two books, Denton Little's Deathdateis an utterly gripping read - with a killer plot twist, hilarious characters, and atruly memorable voice. Imminent death has never been so funny!Denton Little's Deathdatetakes place in a world exactly like our own - except that everyone knows the day on which they will die. For Denton, that's in just two days - the day of his senior prom. Despite his early deathdate, Denton has always wanted to live a normal life - but his final days are filled with dramatic firsts. First hangover. First sex. First love triangle (the first sex seems to have happened not with his adoring girlfriend, but with his best friend's sister. Though he's not totallysure - see, first hangover). His anxiety builds when he discovers a mysterious purple rash making its way up his body. Is this what will kill him? Then a strange man shows up at his funeral, claiming to have known Denton's long-deceased mother, and warning him to beware of suspicious characters . . . Suddenly Denton's life is filled with mysterious questions and precious little time to find the answers. Debut author Lance Rubin takes us on a fast, gripping, and outrageously funny ride through the last hours of a teenager's life as he searches for love, meaning and (just maybe) a way to live on . . .

The End of Something Wonderful

The End of Something Wonderful PDF Author: Stephanie V. W. Lucianovic
Publisher: Union Square & Co.
ISBN: 1454941375
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 31

Book Description
With gentle humor and quirkiness, this sympathetic book demonstrates how to say goodbye to a beloved pet and give it a proper sendoff. “[The End of Something Wonderful is] really good. It’s funny and sardonic and it gets to be touching at the end.” —Betsy Bird, School Library Journal Children love their pets very much—and when the animals die, that loss can be hard to process. The End of Something Wonderful helps kids handle their feelings when they’re hurting and can’t find all the right words. In a warm, understanding, sometimes funny way, it guides children as they plan a backyard funeral to say goodbye, from choosing a box and a burial spot to giving a eulogy and wiping away tears. Most of all, it reassures them that it’s not the end of everything . . . and that Something Wonderful can always happen again.

Funeral Diva

Funeral Diva PDF Author: Pamela Sneed
Publisher: City Lights Books
ISBN: 0872868133
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 119

Book Description
Funeral Diva is the Winner of the Lambda Award for Lesbian Poetry! A poetic memoir about coming-of-age in the AIDS era, and its effects on life and art. "Sneed is an acclaimed reader of her own poetry, and the book has the feeling of live performance. . . . Its strength is in its abundance, its desire for language to stir body as well as mind."—Parul Sehgal, The New York Times Book Review "She is a writer for the future, in that she defies genre."—Hilton Als "This notable achievement, traveling from youth to adulthood, is a harrowing account of how Sneed transforms violence and pain into an artist's life."—Claudia Rankine, author of Citizen: An American Lyric "There's an eerie sense of timeliness to this book, which features prose and poetry by the writer and teacher Pamela Sneed and is largely — though not entirely — about mourning Black gay men killed too soon by a deadly virus."—Tomi Obaro, Buzzfeed "OH MY GOODNESS, it was amazing. I was in tears by the end. What starts off as beautiful memoir evolves into incredibly moving poetry, painful and sweet and lovely."—Marie Cloutier, Greenlight Bookstore, Brooklyn, NY "Balancing and mixing, with rhyme and reason, love and anger, good and bad, memory and the created present, all to tell the story of a life, a memoir unrestrained, devoid of artificial forms. Honest. Free."—Anjanette Delgado, New York Journal of Books In this collection of personal essays and poetry, acclaimed poet and performer Pamela Sneed details her coming of age in New York City during the late 1980s. Funeral Diva captures the impact of AIDS on Black Queer life, and highlights the enduring bonds between the living, the dying, and the dead. Sneed’s poems not only converse with lovers past and present, but also with her literary forebears—like James Baldwin, Toni Morrison, Audre Lorde—whose aesthetic and thematic investments she renews for a contemporary American landscape. Offering critical focus on matters from police brutality to LGBTQ+ rights, Funeral Diva confronts today's most pressing issues with acerbic wit and audacity. The collection closes with Sneed's reflections on the two pandemics of her time, AIDS and COVID-19, and the disproportionate impact of each on African American communities. "Riveting, personal, open-hearted, risky and wise."—Sarah Schulman, author of Conflict Is Not Abuse " . . . a tour de force about the collision between a coalescing 1980s 'Black lesbian and gay literary and poetic movement' in New York and the onslaught of AIDS."—Donna Seaman, Booklist "Pamela Sneed's Funeral Diva is deft, defiant, and devastating."—Tommy Pico, author of Feed "Funeral Diva is urgent and necessary reading to live by. This is writing at its finest. Keep this book close to your heart and soul."—Karen Finley, author of Shock Treatment "Reminiscent of Audre Lorde’s Zami, Pamela Sneed’s memoir is, in itself, a healing balm, affirming in its truths and honesty. I cannot remember ever reading a book that illustrates the impact of the AIDS epidemic on our community more poignantly than Funeral Diva."—Nicole Dennis-Benn, author of Patsy "Pamela Sneed takes enormous risks in this book. She tells the truth with fierce concentration and an abiding sense of purpose.”—Dorothy Allison, author of Bastard Out of Carolina

Funerals to Die For

Funerals to Die For PDF Author: Kathy Benjamin
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 144055708X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 227

Book Description
True stories that put the, er, "fun" back into funerals! The hereafter may still be part of the great unknown, but with Funerals to Die For you can unearth the rich--and often, dark--history of funeral rites. From getting a portrait painted with a loved one's ashes to purchasing a safety coffin complete with bells and breathing tubes, this book takes you on a whirlwind tour of funeral customs and trivia from all over the globe. Inside, you'll find more than 100 unbelievable traditions, practices, and facts, such as: The remains of a loved one can be launched into deep space for only $1,000. In Taiwan, strippers are hired to entertain funeral guests throughout the ceremony. Undertakers for the Tongan royal family weren't allowed to use their hands for 100 days after preparing a king's body. In the late 1800s, New Englanders would gulp down a cocktail of water and their family member's ashes in order to keep them from returning as vampires. Whether you fear being buried alive or just have a morbid curiosity of the other side, Funerals to Die For examines what may happen when another person dies.

Mortician Life

Mortician Life PDF Author: Neo Coloration
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 60

Book Description
Morticians, also known as undertakers, funeral directors, or "death service" professionals, prepare bodies for burial or cremation, and they arrange the details of the funeral service and other end-of-life matters. They own compassion, as well as good interpersonal, business and time-management skills. They also have knowledge of laws and ethics regarding funeral service and preparations. Working as a Mortician isn't easy and can be very stressful. Studies have shown that coloring is one of the best stress-relieving activities that help you stay inspired and in the moment. Feel relaxed and melts stress away if you want to continue to function at your best. Enjoy the snarky Mortician Life with each page you color. This coloring book contains funny and humorous Mortician-related designs and sayings surrounded by intricate details, beautiful patterns, mandalas, and flowers, etc... Perfect Gift for Morticians - Humorous Coloring book for Grown-Ups Features: Large 8 1/2 by 11-inch paper (22cm x 28cm) pages. Single-sided pages for easy removal and no bleed-through. Printed on pure white paper, 60lb-pound stock. Contains 25 unique illustrations. 2 Color test pages at the back of the book.

The Teacher's Funeral

The Teacher's Funeral PDF Author: Richard Peck
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9780142405079
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 228

Book Description
If your teacher has to die, August isn't a bad time of year for it," begins Richard Peck's latest novel, a book full of his signature wit and sass. Russell Culver is fifteen in 1904, and he's raring to leave his tiny Indiana farm town for the endless sky of the Dakotas. To him, school has been nothing but a chain holding him back from his dreams. Maybe now that his teacher has passed on, they'll shut the school down entirely and leave him free to roam. No such luck. Russell has a particularly eventful season of schooling ahead of him, led by a teacher he never could have predicted-perhaps the only teacher equipped to control the likes of him: his sister Tansy. Despite stolen supplies, a privy fire, and more than any classroom's share of snakes, Tansy will manage to keep that school alive and maybe, just maybe, set her brother on a new, wiser course.