I Bitch, Therefore I Am PDF Download

Author: Ed Polish
Publisher: Random House Digital, Inc.
ISBN: 1580088295
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

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Book Description
A third volume in the popular series of humor collections brings together sixty full-color advertising images from the 1940s through the 1960s with hilarious sayings that address such topics as love, motherhood, orgasms, politics, menopause, religion, and chocolate, among other topics.

Author: Ed Polish
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 1580086373
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
Bold and defiant like the women profiled between its covers, YOU SAY I'M A BITCH LIKE IT'S A BAD THING is a cranked-up collection of affirmations for mommies on the edge, self-styled divas, and domestic goddesses everywhere. Featuring full-color advertising images from the 1950s and 1960s paired with sly, laugh-out-loud sayings, this sassy little gift book tackles issues of love, motherhood, housework, menopause, shopping, and diet with daring humor and a healthy dose of bitchiness. The spiral-bound book stands on its own base for easy display. • A gift book of hyped-up affirmations featuring full-color advertising images from the 1950s and 1960s paired with hilarious sayings. • The spiral-bound, stand-up cover allows for easy display. • A perfect shower, hostess, birthday, or friendship gift for women of all ages.

Author: Dennis Miller
Publisher: Forum Books
ISBN: 076790575X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Book Description
Once again there's good news for those of us who rage at the evening news, shake our heads at Washington's business-as-usual, or watch as politicians carom helplessly between political crises and sex scandals: Dennis Miller is back with his third installment of hilarious observations, I Rant, Therefore I Am. Dennis Miller first gained national acclaim as the wise-guy anchor of "Weekend Update" on "Saturday Night Live." When HBO premiered his weekly talk show in April 1994, both critics and fans enthusiastically agreed: "Dennis Miller Live" was the most refreshing talk show on television. The accolades have continued to pour in. In September 1994, Dennis and his staff won an Emmy Award for writing and have been regularly nominated since. When he takes the stage, the audience demands, "The rants, the rants, the rants," and once again, Dennis Miller delivers the goods. Fans of his smart, quirky, irreverent style of humor are in for another treat-this set of rants is even funnier than the last two rounds. Dennis Miller keeps on ranting in I Rant, Therefore I Am, and speaks his mind on topics like: MODELS-"How ironic that the most exquisite-looking people in the world should end up choosing the profession that requires them to spend all day by the phone waiting for the most hideous people to call them." COLLEGE-"I don't think you should have to pay back college loans unless you get a job in your field. Put some pressure on the school. If I can't pay my bills, I'm not paying yours." CONSUMERS-"You know how to tell when you've got a shopping problem? When the lights in the department store momentarily dim after they slide your credit card through the thing." FAITH-"I envy people who can just let go and totally commit. I, on the other hand, can't even hear the title of the show 'Touched by an Angel' without thinking that a professional baseball player is being sued for sexual harassment." ASTRONAUTS-"Anybody who would strap themselves onto a giant deodorant spray can, set off a series of explosions under their ass until they've been blasted into the icy vacuum of deep space, and then step outside to take a walk must have more balls than a twenty-four-hour Tokyo driving range."

Author: Jerry Perisho
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 0615208843
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 242

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Book Description
Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times says, "Laughter, tears, and the indomitable spirit - they're front and center as Jerry Perisho details his very personal war with prostate cancer." Jerry Perisho has been a CEO or senior officer with various southern California corporations since 1982. Additionally, he is a professional freelance comedy writer who created and operated a very successful joke writing business. When he was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2004 at the age of 52, he discovered that his cockeyed view of the world and his sense of humor helped him survive the surgery, chemotherapy and two years of hormone therapy that were to follow. In fact, he flourished. This is his tender and hilarious story of the tears, the fears and the many funny things and amazing people he has encountered since cancer entered his personal world.

Author: Dylan Jones
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN: 1596918187
Category : Social Science
Languages : en
Pages : 224

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Book Description
First came fire, the wheel, and penicillin...and then, according to Dylan Jones, a compulsive album collector, music journalist, and multi award-winning men's magazine editor, the next great invention to bless the human race was the iPod, Apple's groundbreaking mp3 player. Small, sleek, and sexy, but with the capacity to hold up to ten thousand songs, the iPod has stunned music lovers and gadget enthusiasts around the world. It has delighted indie-rock college kids and elderly jazz fans, classical musical buffs and teenage hip-hop hustlers, almost no technology has so seamlessly crossed the great divide. In iPod, Therefore I Am, Jones tells the story of his own entrée into this exponentially growing cult, taking the reader on a hilariously candid journey through his lifelong addiction to all genres of music, however unfashionable. Along the way, he gives a tantalizing behind-the-scenes look at the genesis of the iPod, from its original conception by Steve Jobs, the man who famously reinvented Apple Computer, to the landmark design of Jonathan Ive, the innovative designer who has become a legend in his own time. Behind it all, we get an insight into the way that the iPod has radically transformed the way we approach music, listen to music, and possess music-turning all of us into curators. Appendices containing Jones's top playlists and his expert tips on getting the most out of your iPod make this love song to the iPod as practical as it is entertaining.

Author: George Fuller
Publisher: Human Kinetics
ISBN: 1492582549
Category : Sports & Recreation
Languages : en
Pages : 194

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Book Description
Finally, a book that delves into the warped and obsessive mind of today's golfer. Whether your idea of golf is an occasional round with fellow duffers at the local muni or frequent forays to far-flung courses in search of the perfect round, you'll identify with this book like no other. Popular golf humorist George Fuller will have you laughing as he makes light of the idiosyncrasies of otherwise sane people who are addicted to this holy, wholly frustrating game. I Golf, Therefore I Am—Nuts! brings out the humor in situations that all golfers can relate to: Looking for Mulligan, the patron saint of forgiveness The hype architects and developers use when describing a new course Quirks, quips, and superstitions from the PGA Tour If your eyes light up every time you read about a new driver, your TiVo has golf programming that originally aired in 2004, you receive holiday cards from greenskeepers, or your golf wardrobe doubles as business casual, then I Golf, Therefore I Am—Nuts! is for you.

Author: Wally Lamb
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 9780060391621
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 884

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Book Description
With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.

Author: Margo Lanagan
Publisher: Knopf Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 0375891498
Category : Young Adult Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 385

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Book Description
Tender Morsels is a dark and vivid story, set in two worlds and worrying at the border between them. Liga lives modestly in her own personal heaven, a world given to her in exchange for her earthly life. Her two daughters grow up in this soft place, protected from the violence that once harmed their mother. But the real world cannot be denied forever—magicked men and wild bears break down the borders of Liga’s refuge. Now, having known Heaven, how will these three women survive in a world where beauty and brutality lie side by side?

Author: Ailie Banks
Publisher: Allen & Unwin
ISBN: 1760871311
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 71

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Book Description
THE BOOK OF BITCH is an unapologetic, illustrated A to Z guide for those reclaiming and celebrating their inner bitch. Writer and artist Ailie Banks is a self-proclaimed bitch. The word has been thrown at her, and the women around her, Ailie's entire life. A bitch is stereotypically thought to be unkind, uncaring and ultimately untrustworthy. But in Ailie's eyes, a bitch is someone who stands firm and speaks their mind in the face of sexist rhetoric. They don't filter themselves for the comfort of others and they don't give a single damn about meeting societal expectations. From Ambitious Bitch to Zealous Bitch, THE BOOK OF BITCH is an alphabetical tribute to the word sneered through clenched teeth at those who refuse to shrink in the face of oppression. This book shows once and for all that every bitch is multifaceted, every bitch is human and every bitch deserves to be celebrated. 'It's taken me a long time to embrace my inner bitch, but Ailie Banks's incredible illustrations have finally made me proud to say I'm a bitch and that's definitely NOT a bad thing!' Scarlett Curtis, curator of Feminists Don't Wear Pink 'I want to be an Ailie Banks kind of bitch. Terrorising bigots, breastfeeding in public, glam while surviving and holding a megaphone - these illustrations are badass and uncompromising. This book just put 'tenacious' back in my vocabulary and on my to-do list.' Bri Lee, author of Eggshell Skull 'As a self-identifying, all-encompassing, proud, loud and powerfully unapologetic bitch, this book speaks to me on too many levels. It has perfect descriptions for the complex narrative that is the life of a bitch, coupled with images that reflect me - chubby, strong, oft-hairy, always beautiful. I feel seen, acknowledged and understood.' Lillian Ahenkan, FlexMami

Author: Omarosa
Publisher: Phoenix Books, Inc.
ISBN: 1597775959
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 202

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Book Description
When a woman acts assertively, makes demands, and struggles for what she wants, she is labeled a bitch. The secret is to know when and how to turn on (or turn off) that "bitch switch." Not being able to locate your "switch" leaves you open to being a victim; not knowing how to turn it off will get you a label that is hard to shake. From Omarosa, reality star, global television personality, and the prime-time woman you love to hate, comes The Bitch Switch, the smart and bitingly honest must-read for every woman who aspires to succeed in relationships, in business, and at home.