How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack PDF Download

Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Publisher: Ten Speed Press
ISBN: 158008463X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 114

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Book Description
Move over zombies and adolescent vampires. There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

Author: Twigs Way
Publisher: Shire Publications
ISBN: 9780747807100
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

Author: Reginald Bakeley
Publisher: Conari Press
ISBN: 1609258045
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 210

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Book Description
Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.

Author: Bathroom Readers' Institute
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1626864225
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Author: Jenifer Madson
Publisher: Conari Press
ISBN: 1573245976
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 304

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Book Description
Living the Promises is a personal, warm 365 reader includes quotes and exhortations, celebrations and lists of gratitude's, and all manner of real-life inspirations. Each month begins with a promise and each day explores that promise. Jenifer Madson shares her ongoing story of recovery: what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now, not with "drunkalogues," but with stories and sayings and strategies that will help you or someone you know get sober, stay sober, and live a life of joy. Living the Promises is the first meditation book to be based specifically on the 12 promises of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and is the perfect daily guide for anyone in recovery seeking peace and healing. Among those promises are: "We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change."--From The Promises, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism, 3rd ed.

Author: Bill Adler, Jr.
Publisher: Chicago Review Press
ISBN: 1569764808
Category : Gardening
Languages : en
Pages : 162

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Book Description
A book illustrating and explaining a series of strategems to keep squirrels from eating and ruining yards and gardens when more traditional tactics fail.

Author: Leigh Brill
Publisher: BelleBooks
ISBN: 1935661086
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 251

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Book Description
"Irresistible . . . Slugger is the heart and soul of the book, and his dedication, devotion, and love make him an unforgettable character." --Booklist "Brill has written a fitting tribute to her special friend named Slugger." --Southern Lit Review "A wonderful read for teens and adults." --School Library Journal With him by her side, there were no limits. With hundreds of stellar reviews, including Booklist and School Library Journal, this heart-wrenching and heart-warming book (winner of the Epic nonfiction award) tells the inspiring story of cerebral palsy sufferer Leigh Brill and her service dog, Slugger. As a college student, Brill's battle with her affliction seemed lost. The pain and lack of mobility made an independent life seem impossible. But then she discovered the world of service dogs, and met Slugger. The big Labrador retriever transformed her life. Leigh Brill published her first story at the age of 15; since then her writing has reached national and international audiences through publications including Chicken Soup to Inspire the Body & Soul, the Guideposts book Soul Menders, and the magazines, Just Labs: A Celebration of the Labrador Retriever, and Ability. Leigh has shared more than a decade of her life in the company of service dogs and continues to do so. She serves on the Board of Directors for Saint Francis Service Dogs, and lives with her family in rural Virginia. Find her on Facebook.

Author: Ivy Pochoda
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
ISBN: 1429918934
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 332

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Book Description
Ivy Pochoda's spellbinding and cinematic storytelling seamlessly fuses timeless magic to modern-day passion. Haunting and beautiful, The Art of Disappearing is an imaginative and captivating love story destined to enchant readers for years to come. How do you know if love is real or just an illusion? When Mel Snow meets the talented magician Toby Warring in a dusty roadside bar, she is instantly drawn to the brilliant performer whose hands can effortlessly pull stray saltshakers and poker chips from thin air and conjure castles out of the desert sands. Just two days later they are married, beginning their life together in the shadow of Las Vegas, where Toby hopes to make it big. Mel knows that magicians are a dime a dozen, but Toby is different—his magic is real. As Toby's renown grows and Mel falls more and more in love with his wonderments, she starts to realize that Toby's powers are as unstable as they are dazzling. She learns that he once made his assistant disappear completely, and couldn't bring her back. And then, just as Mel becomes convinced that his magic is dangerous, a trick goes terribly awry during his Strip debut. Exiled from the stage, Mel and Toby flee the lights of Las Vegas for the streets of Amsterdam where a cabal of old-time magicians, real magicians like Toby, try to rescue him from his despair. But he's haunted by the trick that failed, and obsessed with using his powers to right his mistakes, leaving Mel to wonder if the love they share is genuine or merely a fantasy, conjured up by a lost magician looking to save himself from being alone.

Author: Raymond Bial
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
ISBN: 0547341253
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 85

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Book Description
Looks at the problem of dog overpopulation in America; discusses the role of puppy mills, pet stores, and independent breeders; and includes a profile of a local animal shelter.

Author: Chuck Sambuchino
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1599635798
Category : Language Arts & Disciplines
Languages : en
Pages : 248

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Book Description
Creating a platform isn't just beneficial--it's essential! In today's world of blogging, websites, Twitter feeds, and Facebook updates, building a writer platform from the ground up can seem a daunting task. Never fear--author and editor Chuck Sambuchino provides expert, practical advice for increasing your visibility, selling more books, and launching a successful career. In Create Your Writer Platform, you'll learn: • The definition of a platform--and why you should start building one now. • How to harness the 12 Fundamental Principles of Platform. • "Old School" and "New School" approaches to platform, from article writing and conference speaking to website development, blog posts, and social media avenues. • How to develop a platform for nonfiction, fiction, and memoir. In addition to Chuck's invaluable insights, you'll also find 12 case studies from authors with effective platforms, as well as professional advice from literary agents. If you're serious about building a platform tailored to you and your writing--a platform that's going to help you succeed as a writer--look no further than Create Your Writer Platform.