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Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316015296 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 121
Book Description
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316015296 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 121
Book Description
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316015296 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 121
Book Description
From the authors of the bestselling Yiddish with Dick and Jane and Yiddish with George and Laura, this essential "guide" is sure to be a complete howl. Questions to Ask a Breeder: 1. What kind of job is this, growing dogs? 2. Are these dogs nice? I mean of course they are. But if not, is this refundable? 3. Is this a stable business? Do you make a decent living? 4. Does the insurance kill you or is it okay? 5. Dogs are animals, does this mean you qualify for some kind of Federal ranch subsidies? 6. What do I say to people who want to know how I can spend $1500 and up on a dog when there are so many dogs to be rescued from the pound? The (make-believe) Rabbis of the (fictional) Boca Raton Theological Seminary have developed the essential dog training program for raising a Jewish dog. For the first time, the same dynamic blend of passive-aggressiveness and smothering indulgence, that unique alloy of infantilization and disingenuous manipulation that created generations of high-achieving Jewish boys and girls, can be applied to create a generation of high-achieving Jewish doggies.
Author: Ellis Weiner Publisher: Little Brown ISBN: 9780316145701 Category : FOREIGN LANGUAGE STUDY Languages : en Pages : 34
Book Description
"Oy vey"--this is a primer like no other. In an inspired parodic twist, the two least Jewish characters in American literature spout some of the edgy, ironic Yiddishisms that have become part of the American vernacular. 35 full-color drawings.
Author: Barbara Davilman Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316050202 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 56
Book Description
What do George and Laura Bush have in common with Dick and Jane? Well, both hail from prototypical WASP families. And, perhaps more to the point, both exhibit a natural resistance to moral complexity (i.e., reality). That's the premise of this hilarious new primer-style book in which George, Laura, and the entire Bush family communicate with uncharacteristic expressiveness, conveying shades of of feeling and nuances of meaning that plain old English can't deliver -- by peppering their conversatuon with Yiddishisms. See George's mother. Her name is Bar. She wears a lot of pearls and is a farbisseneh. "You are late, George," Bar says. "Of course I am late," George says. "I am the President of the United States. I am a big macher." Like all good primers, Yiddish with George and Laura tells a simple story -- and, in the end, important life lessons are imparted.
Author: Ellis Weiner Publisher: Little, Brown ISBN: 0316465283 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 503
Book Description
Everybody knows that the schools of the Ivy League -- universally touted as the pinnacle of American higher education -- have graduated countless political leaders, corporate titans, and global power brokers. But did you know these schools have also produced murderers, warmongers, traitors, plagiarists, slave traders, pederasts, and every other variety of moral reprobate? Whether you're a high school student grinding away in the hope of gaining admission to one of these institutions, a parent propelling a child toward Ivy glory, a current Ivy League undergraduate wondering "What the hell is this place?" -- or even an Ivy League alum, professor, administrator, or dropout -- this book was written specifically for you. As a warning. Because there are certain things -- monstrous things -- that go unmentioned in the catalog, campus tour, or employment package. And if your Ivy League application was rejected, here's compelling and consoling evidence of how lucky you are.
Author: Molly Katz Publisher: Workman Publishing ISBN: 0761158405 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 193
Book Description
In this completely revised, updated, and expanded second edition of "Jewish as a Second Language," Katz shows how to worry, interrupt, and say the opposite of what one means.
Author: Asher Kravitz Publisher: ISBN: 9780983868538 Category : Dogs Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
"Originally published in Hebrew as HaKelev HaYehudi by Yedioth Ahronoth in 2007; translated by Michal Kessler; edited by Shari Dash Greenspan"--Title page verso.
Author: Janet Perr Publisher: Hyperion ISBN: 9781401303235 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Is your dog a shmendrick A putz Oroy veya goniff There is only one way to find out, so nu, dive in to Yiddish for Dogs. This alphabetical handbook of Yiddish words features adorable and hilarious pictures of irresistible pooches. These dogs embody the meaning of well-known words such as kibbitz, tsuris, feh!, shlep, chutzpah, and many more. But thats not all. Consider yourself warned. Once the Yiddish comes out, these dogs have much to say. These dogs kvell. They go through the dreck. They recognize a mensch. They appreciate a nosh. And, believe it or not, they know youre mishuggeh. So the next time your canine friend does a flying leap into your lap, instead of exclaiming, What a klutz!, ask yourself Does my dog want to kibbitz Written and illustrated by award-winning art director and graphic designer Janet Perr, Yiddish for Dogs will have you howling with laughter.
Author: Sharon Peters Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield ISBN: 0762791640 Category : Pets Languages : en Pages : 193
Book Description
Max Edelman was just 17 when the Nazis took him from his Jewish ghetto in Poland to the first of five work camps, where his only hope of survival was to keep quiet and raise an emotional shield. After witnessing a German Shepherd kill a fellow prisoner, he developed a lifelong fear of dogs. Later beaten into blindness by two bored guards, Max survived, buried the past, and moved on to a new life in America, becoming an X-ray technician. But when he retired, he needed help. He needed a guide dog. After a month of training, he received Calvin, a handsome, devoted chocolate Labrador retriever. Calvin guided Max safely through life, but he sensed the distance and reserve of Max’s emotional shield. Calvin grew listless and lost weight. Trainers intervened—but to no avail. A few days before Calvin’s inevitable reassignment, Max went for an afternoon walk. A car cut into the crosswalk, and Calvin leapt forward, saving Max’s life. Max’s emotional shield dissolved. Calvin sensed the change and immediately improved, guiding Max to greater openness, trust, and engagement with the world. Here is the remarkable, touching story of a man who survived history and the dog that unlocked his heart.
Author: Gena K. Gorrell Publisher: Tundra Books ISBN: 1770490310 Category : Juvenile Nonfiction Languages : en Pages : 213
Book Description
Winner of The 2003 ASPCA Henry Bergh Children’s Book Award Included on VOYA’s ninth annual Nonfiction Honor List Since the first hungry wolf bravely approached an ancient cooking fire and was rewarded with a scrap of meat, our lives and the lives of dogs have been interwoven. Dogs have worked for us as warriors with ammunition strapped to their bodies. Dogs have gone through snow, icy seas, and into the dangerous rubble of collapsed buildings to rescue us. Dogs, with their spectacular ability to detect odors, keep us safe by finding drugs and explosives. They lead us if we cannot see and react for us when we cannot hear. Most of all, they love us – and we love them. This fascinating book by Norma Fleck Award-winner, Gena K. Gorrell, describes the dogs of history, the evolution of breeds for different purposes, and the training involved in preparing the modern-day heroes who find lost children, nab criminals, and point out contraband – heroes who just happen to be dogs.
Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary
Author: Rabbis of Boca Raton Theological Seminary
Author: Ellis Weiner
Author: Barbara Davilman
Author: Ellis Weiner
Author: Molly Katz
Author: Asher Kravitz
Author: Janet Perr
Author: Sharon Peters
Author: Gena K. Gorrell