How To Break Up Without Ruining Your Kids: The Seven Most Common Mistakes Parents Make When Divorcing PDF Download

Author: Jennifer Hayes O’Neill, LMSW
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 148342863X
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 138

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Book Description
Every parent going through a divorce wants to know: What is this going to do to my children? How do I do this without messing up my kids? How do I talk to them about everything? What can I do to make it better for them? Parents desperately want to do it right, but so often they get it wrong. After almost 20 years working with children and parents as a psychotherapist, Jennifer Hayes O'Neill has seen just about everything. She has the answers to those questions. How To Break Up Without Ruining Your Kids The Seven Most Common Mistakes Parents Make When Divorcing helps parents through the divorce process. You'll discover the most common mistakes parents make, what you can do instead, and what to do when your ex keeps messing it up. Jennifer wrote this book after years of watching the toll divorce takes on kids when parents don't understand what their children need. This will help you do it better.

Author: Marsha Temlock
Publisher: Impact Publishers
ISBN: 9781886230668
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 276

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Book Description
When an adult child's marriage ends, lots of folks are hurt. The divorcing couple, of course, and their children. Until now, however, little attention has been paid to the parents of the divorcees. Temlock's examination of this sensitive topic offers parents a friendly guidebook packed with helpful information and suggestions from parents who've "been there." Her five-stage model of the divorce process for parents (Accepting the News, Rescuing Your Child, Responding to Changes, Stabilizing the Family, Refocusing and Rebuilding) will help readers stay grounded through the emotional upheavals they'll share with their children and grandchildren. This practical manual puts an arm around the shoulder of parents of divorcing adults and supports them through the difficult days of the divorce process and its aftermath.

Author: Jackie Pilossoph
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781311023445
Category :
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
Smile! It's not just the end of your marriage, it's the beginning of your second chance!Missy Benson has a two and a half carat diamond engagement ring with color grade H, VS2 clarity and a value of $36,000. It's absolutely gorgeous, practically flawless, and let's be honest, really big!But what the successful Chicago realtor doesn't have anymore is a husband. After 12 years of marriage, her husband, Paul, a handsome, wealthy attorney has devastated her by breaking up their marriage for Priscilla Sommerfeld, a young, personal trainer, who according to Missy's sassy assistant, J.J., looks more like a Las Vegas stripper than a fitness expert.Not sure what to do with her ring, and with no financial issues to worry about, Missy decides to put it up for sale on Craigslist. The price: 99 cents! The catch: She gets to pick the buyer. In essence, she's looking for the perfect guy, but not for herself. Her hope is to regain faith that good men do exist, and that marriages can last forever.Now referring to herself as "the divorced girl," Missy interviews dozens of young men who are vying for the huge ring. It's a contest that includes outrageous characters, hilarious and sentimental stories, and two finalists, both of whom Missy adores and who she must choose between. Then there's Parker Missoni, the sexiest contestant by far, who drives her crazy with his brutal honesty, and at the same time stops her heart with his deep brown eyes.Divorced Girl Smiling is the story of a woman's journey to do whatever it takes to heal herself from divorce. It's about acceptance, reflection, taking accountability for mistakes, and appreciating all of life's wonderful gifts. In other words, if you have the guts to put the past behind, admit your mistakes, embrace your future, and give love another chance, you will surely be a divorced girl smiling.

Author: Noelle Angelica S.
Publisher: Hyperink Inc
ISBN: 161464747X
Category : Reference
Languages : en
Pages : 28

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Book Description
ABOUT THE BOOK We can blame it on the media or on societal pressure exerted on women with unplanned pregnancies. We can lament the decline in society's moral fiber, or we can complain about the ever increasing strain that economic and social problems exert on families. We can point a finger to whichever factor we want, but nothing changes the fact that the breakup of marriages is quite a common occurrence. In fact, according to international statistics, the United States, for example, has consistently had a divorce to marriage rate of nearly 50% over the past decade. We don't need a study or survey to tell us about the state of many marriages, though. Chances are, you know several people who are divorced, as well as families for whom unsuccessful marriages seem to be a legacy passed down from generation to generation. Therese*, 52 years old and a mother of two, felt as though she had been cursed. (*Names have been changed to protect the interviewees' privacy.) "My grandparents were separated. My dad left my mom when I was in middle school, and this was really hard for me to accept. And then again I watched in terror as the marriages of my brothers and sisters started falling apart," she remembers. She was determined to break the cycle in her own family. "I tried to hold on even though I was extremely unhappy. Eventually, I just couldn't do it anymore, even if I didn't want my kids to experience what I had gone through," she explains. EXCERPT FROM THE BOOK In addition to emotional fatigue or even volatility, many parents also have to contend with the fact that they simply do not know how to help their children. Most parents may have all of the good intentions in the world, but this does not necessarily translate into action. Of course, another thing that we will have to take into consideration is the existence of other factors that may have brought about the conflict between the two parents, or may be aggravating the existent situation. For instance, if there is violence involved, whether physical or verbal, the situation certainly becomes more difficult than it would otherwise be, and may require the intervention of mediators or other professionals. Economic factors can also come into play and make circumstances more complicated for parents who are trying to get through this tough period with their children. For example, a separation may mean that the parent who usually supports the family will no longer be present and will therefore require the other parent to exert more effort to make ends meet, despite arrangements for child support. This can then cause a domino effect of putting the parties involved on edge and make it even more stressful for everyone, especially the children... Buy a copy to keep reading! CHAPTER OUTLINE How to Help Your Child Cope With Your Divorce + Introduction + Parenting Through the Struggle: The Challenge + Common Mistakes to Avoid + Helping Your Child Thrive + ...and much more

Author: Michele Weiner Davis
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0671797255
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 256

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Book Description
A step-by-step approach to making your marriage loving again.

Author: Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D.
Publisher: Steven T. Griggs, Ph.D., A Psychological Corporation
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 31

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Book Description
I have been a practicing psychologist in an outpatient setting for over thirty-two years. I run into the same issues and problems almost every day (addictions, anxiety, ADHD/learning disabilities, assertiveness, children’s behaviors, mood disorders, relationships and self-esteem). This article is another about children; in this case what they experience after their parents separate and/or divorce. Here's some particulars... This ebook discusses what not to do after the divorce, or put more positively, what to do to help your child(ren) cope and process this very big life-changing event. It focuses on both the parent and child’s experiences. However, since I am a child psychologist, it presents information to parents from the child's point of view, highlighting what children need and want when their parents are no longer together. Here's some specifics... I start with a summary of some of the more common research findings. I don't get too technical or scholarly, but it is important to put my information into context. Next is a description of how children see divorce. (Most parents "get" more of their own experience, not the childs.') While it occasionally does occur, it is very rare that kids want their parents to divorce. Kids have very bad feelings during this and subsequent times. What are these feelings and how can parents help? Here is a discussion of the seven things kids want, and the five feelings they need to have. Next is a discussion of what parents might consider before the divorce. Some parents do a very good job of thinking about what to do before telling the kids. Here you will find the top ten things to do first... What are the ways to "reach" kids? I go over specific communication techniques, especially the ones that work the best. What about rewards, bribes, manipulation? Parents usually resort to some version of these, often out of desperation. I write about how to avoid much of that. These are covered under "Vocabulary of Feelings," the "Four-To-One Rule," and the "Three Contingencies of Reinforcement." Parents have to know about "acting out." They have to understand what acting out expresses. What does it mean? What is the child doing by behaving this way? This is where the Vocabulary of Feelings earns high marks. It opens up communication in productive, not destructive ways. What are the most common feelings children have during this time? I list seven. Sometimes, kids are really thrown for a loop by divorce, no matter how sensitive the parents are. Worse, sometimes kids fall apart, which is more common when parents declare war on each other. I list the top ten major warning signs of childhood decompensation. If you see any of these signs, take your child to a licensed professional. What are the three most destructive things a child believes about the divorce? Parents have to correct these right away, or else... What is the one finding from dozens of studies that almost single handedly explains why there is such harm children suffer before, during and after the divorce? Parents should know about Constancy. This is one of the most powerful psychological priniciples that parents overlook. Without it, kids are lost. What is the most crucial time to attend to this?. There is one developmental time frame that requires special attention. If the divorce occurs during this two year window, the child is five times more likely to develop a depressive and/or an anxiety disorder in the teen years. How should parents handle "visitation?" This is such a strange word to kids, especially in the beginning, just after the divorce. What's the aftermath of children having to go back and forth between parents? What might parents do about pre-visit and exit "jitters?" What about resistance? Then I introduce some techniques--things to do or say that make much of this manageable. Believe it or not, parents can succeed in all the above areas, even while living in separate households. It's not ideal, but children can salvage much that is meaningful, but only if the parents are skilled. This brings up co-parenting. Have you and your "ex" considered what rules each of you will have pertaining to the child? How about rewards for good behaviors? It's important for the contingencies to be at least similar between the houses. What about changes? Usually, parents develop a schedule of visitation. But things change, often at the last minute. Now what? Parents have to work together at least a little bit to pull this off. I provide lots of tips. What are the seven deadly sins committed by warring parents during visitation? These are huge "no-no's" if you want your child to have any peace of mind at all. What do parents need to know if and when there arrives a stepparent? Thought things were challenging just after the divorce? Just wait... And, how do the children address the new "parent?" Blended families foil many an attempt to re-stabilize households. But there are four simple solutions (mind sets) that help if the parent is open. And, what do parents do with their own feelings? Usually we act them out on our "ex." This is understandable, but it is damaging to both parents and children. What if the "ex's" hate each other so much that they will not even send email to each other? This is disastrous and probably requires intervention. I discuss when and what types will be most helpful. Parents need to know what constitutes the best adult behaviors in conjunction with what the children are feeling. If this fails, it probably is appropriate for the parents to start their own counseling. I tell you when. Lastly, two things are included that are not often discussed in this context. One is the death of a parent and the sequela experienced by the remaining family members. The other is the divorced parent's self-care, which is usually diminished. I list the ten areas separated and/or divorced parents should not overlook. These are the subjects I cover in this ebook. This ebook has 31 pages and contains THE information parents have to have to save their kids from psychological harm. Clients are very enthusiastic about this ebook, probably because there are not many to-the-point references to be found on this subject. Half the population has experienced divorce, and unfortunately, a high number of divorcing couples have children. There is a great need here. This ebook has no fat. Think of it as a "Cliffs Notes" publication. It's a quick read (about an hour), because I go straight to the points and explain concepts in everyday language, just like what you're reading now.

Author: Philip HUNT
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781520687179
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 125

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Book Description
I want to congratulate you for taking some time to learn how you can reduce the impact your divorce or separation has on your children. You're obviously someone who cares about your children, and how your children will be impacted during this process. What I'm going to show you is seven steps that I took with my former-wife that you can follow too, which will ensure the psychological damage on your children is kept to a minimum. You will learn how to: * Follow 7 proven steps to reduce the stress and suffering for children in divorce * Avoid painful mistakes which may impact your children's psychological future * Manage changes to the family dynamics and overcome the trauma experienced with separation * Transition to a parental relationship with your former spouse * Prioritise your children - before, during and after your divorce * Support your children to create greater harmony and peace during this traumatic time Around 40% marriages will end in divorce after 12 years and in most of these divorces, there will be children involved - children who are innocently affected by these changes in parental relationships. Sadly, these figures are on the rise and in most instances, there will be 2 or more children involved in the divorce process. But who really suffers the most when a divorce occurs? The wife? The husband? No, it is the children who will be affected most and it can be an extremely emotional time for them. Many children will blame themselves in some way, either consciously or unconsciously, for causing their parents to go their separate ways and this can have a profound impact on them later in life. This book will bring out the best in you and your children, during divorce or separation.

Author: Nicholas Long
Publisher: McGraw Hill Professional
ISBN: 0071403256
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
From the bestselling authors of Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, expert strategies and action steps for divorcing parents While there are many trade books on children and divorce, most tend to be filled with extensive discussions of the psychological impact on children, with little effective advice. You want immediate answers and quick access to expert strategies you can use to help your kids today and in the future. Making Divorce Easier on Your Child arms you with 50 effective strategies and action steps for helping your kids cope with divorce, packaged in a convenient, quick-bite format. It is based on the authors' years of clinical experience dealing with the children of divorce, as well as their extensive research into the causes and cures of divorce-related emotional problems. "Informative and sensible, offering realistic, clear-cut recommendations." Robert Brooks, Ph.D., Faculty, Harvard Medical School, and coauthor of Raising Resilient Children

Author: Lisa Rene Reynolds
Publisher: AMACOM/American Management Association
ISBN: 0814412963
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 290

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Book Description
Still a Family is a much-needed repository of wisdom and practical counsel for any family going through a divorce, a time of heightened feelings and fragile relationships.Divorce can have a devastating effect on children. Yet for families who care fully consider and manage the intricacies associated with this difficult and upsetting time, the family, as seen from the child's perspective, can remain strong, healthy, and as loving and supportive as it ever was.Still a Family clearly and concisely lays out the specific emotions and reactions parents need to anticipate from their children while going through separation, divorce, and its aftermath. Rather than weighing parents down with complicated plans, confusing information, and legal terminology, this book takes a commonsense approach, providing readers in a state of emotional distress with the practical, down-to-earth advice they need to sensibly and comfortingly guide their children through this often painful process. The book covers the most common mistakes divorcing parents tend to make, as well as addressing special issues that come up for kids of different age groups.

Author: David Heller, Ph.D.
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1503532240
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 103

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Book Description
"When Will My Heart Stop Hurting?" is a healing and inspirational book about divorce intended to help a parent recover themselves and be as responsive as possible to his or her children during and after the upheaval of divorce. Brimming with pragmatic and sagacious advice about all aspects of the divorce experience, this easy-to-read compendium will help guide the reader to a more peaceful place with regard to divorce and enhance their ability to facilitate healing and growth in their children. "When Will My Heart Stop Hurting?" addresses particularly difficult topics around marital dissolution, custody, and subsequent changes in family life. Among the subjects this thoughtful and helpful book concentrates on are the following: the nature of divorce, difficult dilemmas in divorce, what it means to work together with your ex-spouse (even when it isn't easy), what you can do emotionally and psychologically for your child, and finding spiritual understanding in the aftermath of divorce. Here are a few sample selections: "A child ordinarily feels that his or her world is turned upside down in divorce. The heroic challenge for you as a parent is to help the world seem right side up again." "With every loss, there is a gain and new things of value are discovered. Teach your child that this paradox is even true of divorce." "Inspire your son or daughter to think of 'family' as a feeling inside of them, not merely a living situation."