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Hey, Idiot!

Hey, Idiot! PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792032
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 476

Book Description
Over 200 true stories of boneheadedness and buffoonery from the New York Times-bestselling author of Stupid History! Former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory has shown us gray matter-challenged examples in everything from the criminal world to the hallowed halls of government. This time, though, everyone, everywhere is fair game if they've exhibited outrageously stupid behavior. Consider: * The forgetful fireman who left cooking oil on the stove and returned from a call to find the station house burned to the ground * A lung cancer patient who caused an explosion when he lit up a cigarette—in his oxygen tent * A 58-year-old billiards player who was suspended from competition after testing positive for a muscle-building hormone * F. Edward Hebert, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, who said, “The only way we’ll get a volunteer army is to draft them” Hey Idiot! lets everyone from bosses to public officials, doctors to sports heroes, skewer themselves with their moronic words and actions.

Hey, Idiot!

Hey, Idiot! PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792032
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 476

Book Description
Over 200 true stories of boneheadedness and buffoonery from the New York Times-bestselling author of Stupid History! Former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory has shown us gray matter-challenged examples in everything from the criminal world to the hallowed halls of government. This time, though, everyone, everywhere is fair game if they've exhibited outrageously stupid behavior. Consider: * The forgetful fireman who left cooking oil on the stove and returned from a call to find the station house burned to the ground * A lung cancer patient who caused an explosion when he lit up a cigarette—in his oxygen tent * A 58-year-old billiards player who was suspended from competition after testing positive for a muscle-building hormone * F. Edward Hebert, chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, who said, “The only way we’ll get a volunteer army is to draft them” Hey Idiot! lets everyone from bosses to public officials, doctors to sports heroes, skewer themselves with their moronic words and actions.

Generation

Generation PDF Author:
Publisher: UM Libraries
ISBN:
Category : American literature
Languages : en
Pages : 666

Book Description


The Idiot-Dudes

The Idiot-Dudes PDF Author: Sreeram,
Publisher: Sristhi Publishers & Distributors
ISBN: 9380349289
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 237

Book Description


Canaduh

Canaduh PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449402046
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

Book Description
From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing to his New York Times best-selling Stupid American History, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Now, Gregory--sets his sights north to the frozen tundra of Canada to skewer Canadians, in Canaduh: Idiots from the Frozen North. Inside Canaduh: Idiots from the Frozen North, Gregory offers hundreds of accounts of Canadian stupidity at its most random and bizarre, starring French-speaking Quebecois, Yukon fur trappers, and Arctic Circle Eskimos. Because the stories Leland chronicles are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information--including its verified news source.

Stupid Science

Stupid Science PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792113
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 226

Book Description
Consider these cases of misdirected human activity, each in the name of science: The Illinois Department of Conservation spent $180,000 to study the contents of owl vomit. Georgia State University psychology professor James Dabbs discovered in 1988 that trial lawyers have about 30 percent more testosterone in their bodies than normal people (regardless of gender). Dabbs stated in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology that high testosterone levels are often linked to aggressiveness and "antisocial behavior." We all knew that lawyers were full of something—now we know it's testosterone. What do stinky cheese and unclean feet have in common? They both attract mosquitoes according to a November 8, 1996 article from Reuters.

Idiots in Love

Idiots in Love PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792067
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 265

Book Description
Here's best-selling humor writer Leland Gregory's sixth collection about everyday idiots-and this time they're in love! Readers are guaranteed to feel better about their own romantic misadventures after reading these jaw-dropping, hilarious tales. Many people do crazy things in the name of love, but some people take things way too far. From failed seductions to botched proposals, from disturbing displays of affection to misguided marriages, Idiots in Love chronicles the stupid things falling in love (or falling out of it) can drive people to do: * A female Coca-Cola employee became engaged to a Pepsi employee, and Coke demanded that she break it off, persuade her fiance to leave Pepsi, or resign from Coca-Cola. She refused and was terminated, but she later won a $600,000 settlement from the company. * A woman in Hardwick, Georgia, divorced her husband on the grounds that he "stayed home too much and was too affectionate." * A couple started divorce proceedings after 90 minutes of marriage. * A Norwegian woman hid a ring in her boyfriend's porridge to propose marriage to him, but he accidentally ate the ring. Fortunately, he accepted the proposal anyway. * In Whitesville, Delaware, it is illegal for a woman to propose to a man. * A European survey revealed that one in nine people admit to sending themselves Valentine's Day cards. Once again, Leland Gregory finds the absolute best and funniest anecdotes and one-liners that will have readers rolling with laughter at the amorous antics of idiots in love.

Idiots in Charge

Idiots in Charge PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792083
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 306

Book Description
Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes." --Tom DeLay, America's Community Bankers meeting, March 12, 2003 * After revealing absurd 911 phone calls and America's dumbest criminal antics, former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers political pandering and pen-pushing philosophizing. Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside Idiots in Charge: Lies, Trick, Misdeeds, and Other Political Untruthiness Gregory offers more than 250 accounts of bumbling bureaucrats on both sides of political party lines: * David Spellman became mayor of Black Hawk, Colo., on July 12, 2006, a week after pleading guilty to felony menacing and third-degree assault for pistol-whipping his wife with a handgun and firing three shots in 2005. * County officials in Vermillion, Ind., were told by state homeland security officials in July 2006 to stop using the special emergency-only highway message boards to advertise their charity fish fries and spaghetti dinners. * District 1 Town Councilor David Watson resigned from his position as council vice chairman on January 23, 2007, after unintentionally forwarding an e-mail to 18 members of the New Elementary School Building Committee. The e-mail contained nine embedded images of topless women under the heading "This Is National Women's Breast Awareness Day." The only other text in the e-mail read, "Beats . . . Martin Luther King Day, doesn't it?"

United Kingdumb

United Kingdumb PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449402038
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

Book Description
From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing to his New York Times best-selling Stupid American History, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Now, Gregory--sets his sights across the pond to the United Kingdom to skewer Brits, Scots, Irish, and Welsh alike in United Kingdumb: Idiots from the British Isles. In United Kingdumb: Idiots from the British Isles, Gregory turns his eye to countryside Britons, London aristocrats, kilted Scotsmen, leprechaun-loving Irish, and the wily Welsh, all of whom are a breed apart in their affinity for the idiotic and inane. Because the stories Leland chronicles are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information--including its verified news source.

Cruel and Unusual Idiots

Cruel and Unusual Idiots PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740792091
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 289

Book Description
Some wonder why and some wonder why not. But it's the latter ones who make you scratch your head and say, 'What in the world were you thinking?'" Former Saturday Night Live writer Leland Gregory skewers cruel crooks and the idiotically inane. From absurd 911 calls to presidential philosophizing and political pandering to foolish felons, Leland Gregory generates the best laughs by exposing the worst of human nature. Inside this collection, Gregory offers more than 275 accounts of human stupidity at its most malicious and peculiar: * In August 2006, 40-year-old Darrel Rodgers was treated at a Bloomington, Indiana, hospital for a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his left knee. Rogers explained that he shot himself seeking to relieve the pain in his knee, which probably stemmed from shooting himself in the same knee ten years earlier. * And, because some of the stories are just that unbelievable, each anecdote, quote, or factoid is presented with relevant background information--including its verified news source.

Stupid California

Stupid California PDF Author: Leland Gregory
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 1449400361
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 162

Book Description
Best-selling author Leland Gregory--who has so entertainingly highlighted humanity's stupidity in the areas of crime, business, love, politics, cruelty, and history--is back with Stupid California. This time, Gregory builds a case for the common suspicion that Californians, from movie moguls to beach bums, have a special affinity for idiocy. Culled from print, online, and broadcast sources, Stupid California is a hilarious collection of true stories, trivia, and factoids about the Golden State, such as: * "California's state animal is the California grizzly bear, which is also on the state flag. The bear was honored in 1953, a full 31 years after the last known bear in the state was killed." * "During the 1980s, in a bold stroke against terrorism, the Chico City Council banned nuclear weapons, enacting a mandatory $500 fine for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon within city limits." Silly, shocking, weird, and amusing, Stupid California is ideal for both kinds of people--those who love California and those who hate it.