Help Dick Find His Balls PDF Download

Author: Dickey Davis
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 28

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Book Description
Hi! I'm Dick. Can you help me find my balls? This is not the first time I have lost my balls.This book will bring you to tears laughing but is not a book to be read to children. A great book to give as a gag gift, fun gift, and more. It just needs to find a home with a person who has a fun sense of humor.

Author: Mori Langshaw
Publisher: Page Publishing Inc
ISBN: 1662462611
Category : Drama
Languages : en
Pages : 140

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Book Description
Behind the Bar takes you on a journey on what your everyday coworker, friend, husband, or wife will share with their favorite coach, the local bartender. It’s amazing the things people share, and do, with their local bartender. If you ever wanted to know what your coworker shares, visit your local bar or read Behind the Bar. If you ever wanted to know what your wife or husband shares, read Behind the Bar. In this book, you will read about secrets everyone has but no one shares, except with their local bartender. Be prepared to be riveted by the stories you read. You will find yourself in one of the characters, for sure.

Author: Gilbert Gottfried
Publisher: Macmillan + ORM
ISBN: 1429978562
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 285

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Book Description
Nobody ever reads this part of the book. Somebody at the publishing house explained to me that it's actually called the book flap. That sounded dirty, so I giggled for three hours. But it says in my contract that I have to write something over here in this tiny space, even though I don't think anyone will notice. Some people might open up to the middle of the book and start flipping through pages, but nobody will read this part. In fact, I'll bet anything that you're not reading this part now. And if it turns out that you are . . . well, the guy in the bookstore is probably staring at you, saying, "Stop reading that book!" I guess there's a reason bookstores are going out of business, left and right. Cheap fucks like you think it's okay to stand in the aisles and read to your heart's content. So for the sake of bookstores everywhere, buy this fucking book. I myself don't care. I only care about the poor working man. Oh, and the sanctity of the written word. I care about that, too. And in my case, those written words, of course, include fuck, dick, and pussy. In the early 1970s, as our nation's youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn't suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. HILARIOUS HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE: • Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood • A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with • A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert • An even shorter list of Gilbert's comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on- screen • Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he's ever performed • Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert's years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Keifer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless • Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip‘n save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book's spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends • The story behind Gilbert's infamous retelling of the classic "Aristocrats" routine that defined the most recent phase of his career • And much more!

Author: Charlie Richards
Publisher: eXtasy Books
ISBN: 1487428413
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 87

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Book Description
"When Deacon Ferdmin learns his brother, Daevon, is transitioning into a new life, he decides it's time to do the same. Plus, as a badger shifter, he's tired of living in the city. Buying a motorcycle and heading cross-country to meet up with Daevon, Deacon enjoys the change of pace from his prior high-stakes job as a firefighter...until his motorcycle breaks down. There's only a couple of mechanic shops in town, and the first one he goes to refuses to service his machine since he's openly and obviously gay. As angry as it makes Deacon, when he walks into the second shop, he quickly turns grateful. He scents that somewhere within the depths of the dingy space is his mate. However, Deacon also realizes that approaching the man—Axel Spumoni—will take some finesse. Not only has Deacon already experienced discrimination, but he notices Axel is a burn victim. Can Deacon figure out a way to woo his reclusive, wary mate while dealing with the backwater town's hostility?" - - Provided by publisher.

Author: Tabor Evans
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101610069
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 136

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Book Description
Longarm has worn out his welcome… It should have been a routine prisoner pickup. But when Deputy U.S. Marshal Custis Long arrives in Curen Town, the young offender’s father—who happens to run the town named after him—has no intentions of letting his son go to Denver for trial. When bribery and deception fail, Edward Curen, Sr., resorts to more desperate measures to stop Longarm—namely a $5,000 bounty on the lawman’s head. Money like that is enough to turn decent townsfolk blood simple—and it does. Now every dark alley of Curen Town may be hiding an assassin—man, woman, or child—and if Longarm aims to leave town in one piece, he’ll need to shoot his way out…

Author: Jake Logan
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101215216
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 196

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Book Description
Slocum turns from prey to hunter… On the run from outlaws, Slocum meets up with an abandoned Indian girl. If they can survive the savage mountain winter, he just might get away from the crooks who want him dead. But a woman in town needs help finding her lost husband, and when Slocum discovers that the same men pursuing him are behind the man’s murder, he decides to stop running—and start shooting.

Author: Bailey Bradford
Publisher: Totally Entwined Group (USA+CAD)
ISBN: 1839431210
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 912

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Book Description
FROM BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF LGBTQ ROMANCE BAILEY BRADFORD Rescued has drama, mystery, hot sex, and some very sweet unsung heroes. ~ Joyfully Reviewed A mesmerizing and thrilling m/m romance that tugs at the heartstrings. ~ The Jeep Diva Southwestern Shifters: Part One &– a box set 1 &– Rescued When Gabriel Staley rescues a magnificent black wolf, he has no idea that destiny has just turned up the heat and brought him his mate, sexy shapeshifter Mika Blackwell. 2 &– Relentless Zane Mitchell is about to learn that you can't outrun your destiny—especially not when that destiny is wrapped up in the form of one big, sexy, relentless shapeshifter, Aidan Criswell. 3 &– Reckless Six months in his enemies hands has left Marcus Criswell a shell of the man he used to be—or so he thought until his destined mate rescued him from a cruel death. 4 &– Rendered Alex Morgan has a mission set for himself-get justice for his Alpha Anax and come back the big hero. There are many reasons to visit the beautiful Southwest, a land of mystery, magic and mayhem—and shifters. Sometimes a wolf is just a wolf...except when it's more. Shifters roam the Southwest, in packs and alone, struggling to survive. When it's discovered, by one wounded outcast, that gay shifters also have destined mates, the shifter world is forced to rethink its beliefs. A change in the shifter hierarchy is shaking up the packs, making new rules and forcing the shifters' archaic ways out the door. For some, the changes may come too late; their faith in their fellow shifters has been shattered. For others, the changes are embraced with open minds and hearts—and a hope that burns deep inside. To be accepted, part of the pack, instead of living with the threat of being shunned for their sexual preferences—many shifters are free for the first time. They have the hope of finding their destined mates, men who fill the emptiness in their souls. But not everyone in the shifter world is willing to accept the changes, destined mates or not. They don't want their ways to change, and they will do anything, no matter how evil, to keep the packs under their power.

Author: Kenneth Eaton
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 0595350259
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 242

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Book Description
Out here, no one could hear her scream, so he would take his time in torturing her. He hated her more than anything imaginable, and wanted her to suffer before she died. But something was terribly wrong. This was not what he had planned. Not even she deserved to die like this. What was happening to him? Where were The Voices? A young woman lie dead; her body horribly mutilated. She had been targeted, actually hunted by an evil that she never knew existed. Her death should have been the only one. The case should have been open-and-shut. There were clues and evidence left all over the crime scene. Why did the investigation go so horribly wrong? What would trigger a madman, who should not have even been in town, to start randomly killing? A seasoned detective was hot on the trail, but would he be too late? Would he have what it took to outsmart the mind of his insane rival? The answer would shock him. His professional integrity would be tested. It would be up to him to decide whether a killer go free or be put behind bars. Would he make the right choice? Could he?

Author: Rachel Haimowitz
Publisher: Riptide Publishing
ISBN: 1963773152
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 183

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Book Description
Brandon McKinney is a man reborn. Newly awakened to the notion of consensual power exchange and the submissive urges inside him, he begs for a second chance from the man who opened his eyes to this world: Silicon Valley superstar Jonathan Watkins. But no birth is absent pain, and Brandon’s is no exception. He fears he’s not strong enough to see it through. Jonathan knows better. He’s seen the iron core inside his new submissive, and the wounded heart inside him too. He means to teach Brandon to heal the one with the other. They have five months left on their contract, after all, and Jonathan has done more with less before. It’s tough to stay objective, though, when you’re falling in love. Shame Brandon doesn’t feel the same. He’s only there for the six-million-dollar payout at contract’s end—a fact that Jonathan, nursing his own wounded heart, reminds himself of each day. For even as Brandon’s barriers break and his mind expands, even as he grows to love his place at Jonathan’s feet, he’ll never love life with a sadist—especially one who cannot escape the public eye. Lightly revised 2nd edition.

Author: K.C. Ford
Publisher: Katherine Ferguson
ISBN: 1778029043
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 119

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Book Description
Desperation made her reach out. Desire made her do it. One Last Chance... Diana gave her husband the ultimatum to end all ultimatums. Sign the carefully crafted contract, submitting to her for ninety days, or sign the divorce papers she prepared. Grant knew he'd dropped the ball in their relationship, but he loved his wife and vowed to do whatever it took to fix things between them. Even if it meant opening their relationship to someone new. Brandon never thought his last client would change his life forever, giving him something he'd never had. Love and family.