Has Anyone Seen My Pants? PDF Download

Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476771928
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 288

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Book Description
New York Times bestselling author Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties--in all its messy, pants-missing glory.

Author: Craig A. Williams
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 030749683X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
At the height of the hair-metal craze, when the airwaves were dominated by ear-shredding guitar solos played by men clad in lace gloves, cowboy boots, and tight denim, when Aqua Net was more precious than gold, when MTV actually played music videos and not just shows like Pimp My Locker, a band named Onyxxx (one X wasn’t nearly enough) came close to making it big. What stopped Onyxxx from taking its place beside legendary bands like Poison, Guns N’ Roses, and Mötley Crüe? Sex, drugs, groupies, . . . and geometry homework. Craig Williams, Onyxxx’s red-haired, head-banging guitarist, tells his tale of near rock stardom in Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? With a manager who was a dead ringer for Loni Anderson, club owners willing to offer sexual favors and limo rides, and scads of California girls lifting their shirts and screaming their names, Craig knew what it was to be a star—until he realized that Onyxxx wasn’t the second coming of Warrant. They just weren’t that good. And Craig wasn’t having fun anymore. A music memoir for any child of the 1980s and ’90s, a nostalgic trip down Sunset Strip, and a hilarious tribute to a musical era we can only hope will never have a resurgence, Mom, Have You Seen My Leather Pants? will give you an appetite for destruction.

Author: Bob Shea
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 0316525197
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 40

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Book Description
In this hilarious tale of blame, compassion, and forgiveness, a very embarrassed bear is reminded that accidents can happen--but with the support of good friends, life goes on. Reuben the bear's got donuts for everyone in his scout troop, but his friends are all staring at something else: there's a wet spot on Reuben's pants, and it's in a specific area. "WHO WET MY PANTS?" he shouts, and a blame game starts. His buddies try to reassure him there was no crime. Just an accident. It could happen to anyone! But as all the clues begin to point in Reuben's own direction as the culprit, Reuben must come to terms with the truth. Who Wet My Pants? isn't a potty-training book. It's a witty and wise story about embarrassment and anger, empathy and acceptance, and ultimately...forgiveness.

Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1476771936
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 288

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Book Description
New York Times bestselling author of Life as I Blow It Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties—in all its messy, pants-missing glory. How does a gal with a successful career, great friends, and a razor-sharp wit find herself wandering pants-less through the hallways of a casino hotel in Iowa on New Year’s Eve? Ask Sarah Colonna. Has Anyone Seen My Pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America (and Mexico!) with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts. From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah’s signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart—not to mention your pants.

Author: Sarah Colonna
Publisher: Villard
ISBN: 0345528379
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 258

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Book Description
In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, life, and pursuing her dreams . . . and then screwing it all up. Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Other times we would like to get married, stay in, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, secure life. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty. She moves to Los Angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other. And if there’s one thing Colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler

Author: David Rosen
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 076792794X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 242

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Book Description
Now a new MTV series, from acclaimed director and executive producer Doug Liman (“Mr. and Mrs. Smith, “Swingers,” “Go,” “The Bourne Identity”) Jason Strider is a twentysomething young man with an English degree from an Ivy League university, a very small apartment in New York, a vapid job as a receptionist at a casting agency—and no particular idea what to do with his life. On most evenings he gets stoned and goes out, sometimes with his long-time best friend and wingman Tina and sometimes alone, if not to get laid then at least to get hammered enough to really regret it the next day and be late for work. Then one night Jason has athletic, appliance-assisted intercourse with a cute girl named Jane—and ends up lending her his favorite Dickies jeans. Many unanswered e-mails and text messages later, he is reduced to the plaint “I just want my pants back.” How he does, in a most unexpected way, find those pants and how he is forced to face his immaturity—and mortality—are at the heart of this smart, raunchily comic and deeply affecting novel.

Author: Julia Cook
Publisher: National Center for Youth Issues
ISBN: 1937870804
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 33

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Book Description
Control your wiggles and be the BOSS of your ants. In I Have Ants in My Pants, Julia Cook helps normalize the feeling many kids have when they struggle to control their wiggles and provides strategies for improving impulse control. Some children just can't sit still no matter how hard they try. And Louis is no exception. He accidentally kicks his friend during story time. He can't stand still in the lunch line. And he wiggles in his seat at the movie theater. Everyone keeps telling him he has ants in his pants, but Louis doesn't see any ants! Louis' mom explains that this means he wiggles a lot, and she teaches him a special tool, the Wiggle Dance. Wiggle and jiggle. Jump up and down. Shake your hands and turn around. Take a deep breath. Scrunch up your nose. Wobble your knees and wiggle your toes. With a little practice and a few helpful tools, Louis learns that he can calm his wiggles and become the boss of the ants in his pants!

Author: Amy Harrop
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781775435655
Category : Boys
Languages : en
Pages :

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Book Description
"In this outrageously funny, far-fetched and ultimately kind-hearted story about a hedgehog who has moved in, uninvited, to a cosy new home, a boy gets more than he bargained for during a family camping holiday"--Publisher information.

Author: Lee Bennett Hopkins
Publisher: StarWalk Kids Media
ISBN: 1630833622
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 35

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Book Description
It was simply the worst the most terrible day. Nothing but NOTHING was going my way. If you've ever wondered whether anyone else knows what it's like to have a really bad day, this special collection of poignant and funny poems is for you.

Author: Loretta Laroche
Publisher: Hay House, Inc
ISBN: 9781401930103
Category : Self-Help
Languages : en
Pages : 224

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Book Description
Loretta La Roche has helped millions of people find ways to lighten up and overcome stress. Now, in Life Is Short—Wear Your Party Pants, she gives you the tools you need to not only reduce feelings of tension, but also to bring joy, passion, and gusto into your life. Her techniques are a brilliant blend of old-world common sense and the most contemporary research in brain chemistry, psychology, and mind-body studies. Loretta gives you dozens of proven techniques for recognizing the ten simple truths that will lead you to an intense, happy, successful life: resilience, living in the moment, optimism, acceptance, humor, creativity, moderation, responsibility, meaning, and connection. Loretta’s wisdom evolved from her own life—one filled with the demands of being a single mother of three; of starting her own business when she was broke; and of the wacky invasiveness of her Italian family. She’s like all of us: real, flawed, stressed out, and on edge. Her magic comes from an ability to not take herself too seriously, and to always shift her focus away from the self-destructive and toward the truly important things in life. In her work, Loretta has seen tens of thousands of people who live their lives as if they’re sitting in a waiting room, hoping that their turn comes up next. This book will show you that life is not something to be endured, but is something to be truly appreciated. We need to remember how to access our inner abundance, which allows us to be heart-centered, joy-filled human beings. As Loretta says: "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift—that’s why they call it the present."