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Festive As F*ck

Festive As F*ck PDF Author: Weldon Owen
Publisher: Weldon Owen International
ISBN:
Category : Crafts & Hobbies
Languages : en
Pages : 130

Book Description
Let’s face it - the holidays can be stressful. When the peppermint latte won’t cut it, you might find yourself in need of something to stab. A LOT. Now, you can release your holiday anxiety with some truly irreverent and silly sentiments, and make a couple of presents in the process! Featuring 20 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitchers, this book has everything from a simple “Ho” ornament to a sampler featuring Clark Griswold’s famous “Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?” There is no previous experience required here! In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, you get a basic lesson in cross-stitch technique, so anyone can make these designs. Stitch your stress away with a little “Hello Drunk, I’m Christmas” for your tree, or make a “Deck the Halls and Not Your Family” for your sibling. And above all, have a Happy F*cking Holiday! TOP DESIGNERS: Patterns created by some of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy 20 FESTIVE PATTERNS: Festive As F*ck includes 20 hilariously sassy patterns to help ease the stress of the holiday season EASY-TO-FOLLOW-DESIGNS: With simple instructions and clear and easy-to-follow patterns, even a novice potty-mouth can enjoy this filthy holiday fun INSPIRING IMAGES: Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your festive artwork THE PERFECT SNARKY GIFT: Make the best f*cking gifts of the season with hilarious and irreverent cross stitch designs that will make anyone laugh their ass off.

Festive As F*ck

Festive As F*ck PDF Author: Weldon Owen
Publisher: Weldon Owen International
ISBN:
Category : Crafts & Hobbies
Languages : en
Pages : 130

Book Description
Let’s face it - the holidays can be stressful. When the peppermint latte won’t cut it, you might find yourself in need of something to stab. A LOT. Now, you can release your holiday anxiety with some truly irreverent and silly sentiments, and make a couple of presents in the process! Featuring 20 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitchers, this book has everything from a simple “Ho” ornament to a sampler featuring Clark Griswold’s famous “Hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the Tylenol?” There is no previous experience required here! In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, you get a basic lesson in cross-stitch technique, so anyone can make these designs. Stitch your stress away with a little “Hello Drunk, I’m Christmas” for your tree, or make a “Deck the Halls and Not Your Family” for your sibling. And above all, have a Happy F*cking Holiday! TOP DESIGNERS: Patterns created by some of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy 20 FESTIVE PATTERNS: Festive As F*ck includes 20 hilariously sassy patterns to help ease the stress of the holiday season EASY-TO-FOLLOW-DESIGNS: With simple instructions and clear and easy-to-follow patterns, even a novice potty-mouth can enjoy this filthy holiday fun INSPIRING IMAGES: Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your festive artwork THE PERFECT SNARKY GIFT: Make the best f*cking gifts of the season with hilarious and irreverent cross stitch designs that will make anyone laugh their ass off.

Over the Holidays

Over the Holidays PDF Author: Sandra Harper
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1439166706
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 338

Book Description
The best holiday traditions are meant to be broken. It's only December 1, and Vanessa Clayton has been dreading Christmas since she spotted tinseled trees at her local mall in September. Thankfully, she and her husband, JT, can't afford to drag their twin boys across the country to New England for the annual celebration at her stuffy sister-in-law Patience's home. Not that Vanessa has prepared a proper Christmas for her family in years, and she has less time than ever since she agreed to consult on the script of a local play. Her older sister, Thea, is no help -- she'd rather make art and flirt with surfers than babysit her nine-year-old nephews. Then Patience drops a holiday stress bomb: Her family will come to California instead. In between "baking" cinnamon rolls for the school potluck and overbearing Patience testing her patience, Vanessa can't stop thinking about the difficult but charming playwright at work. Meanwhile, Patience's teenage daughter, Libby, obsesses over a college boy she has met by the pool, and Thea searches desperately for the meaning of Christmas -- for her latest installation, of course. As their holiday plans go comically awry, these four women discover the true spirit of the season is hidden in every festive surprise.

Happy F*cking Holidays

Happy F*cking Holidays PDF Author: Sasha O'hara
Publisher: Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN: 9781539679370
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 64

Book Description
From the creator of the Best Seller Calm the Fck Down 'Tis the season to get snarky! It's that time again. Time to put on your elastic waistband pants, spike your eggnog, and brace yourself for the crazy "Holidaze". Why let the dark days of winter get you down when you can enjoy your own cynical and sassy Christmas coloring adventure? This holiday season, color the things you can't say and still keep Peace on Earth. Happy fucking Holidays is an irreverent and subversive take on Christmas and is the perfect way to unwind and relax for Christmas. It's an ideal gift, for anyone who is stressed, and for those with a subversive and irreverent sense of humor. Enjoy these humorous illustrations that let you fill your holiday season with inappropriate and unapologetic joy. Includes 26 single-sided adult coloring pages and 2 color test pages. Illustrations range from Simple to complex to color, and most are moderate in detail. Irreverent Images include: Santa, ornaments, a cat, a snowman, an Elf, candy canes, wreaths, reindeer, and many more... Sassy sayings include: It's beginning to feel a lot like fuck this, I peed in your eggnog, sweet and twisted, naughty, kiss my ass, fat judgmental bastard, sleigh me, and many more humorous and subversive sayings.... For more information, for free coloring page downloads, contests and more, visit www.sashaohara.com CONTAINS ADULT LANGUAGE. NOT INTENDED FOR CHILDREN.

Forbidden Temptation

Forbidden Temptation PDF Author: Kaylee Monroe
Publisher: Kaylee Monroe
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 145

Book Description
Retired Marine, Manning Reid, had been my father’s best friend for as long as I could remember. But now, with my father gone, I’m left to run his beloved bar, Sullivan’s. I’m also stuck working with a hot, tough, impenetrable man I haven’t seen in years who has a way of making me desire things that should be forbidden between us. Manning is grumpy, over-protective, and built like sin. A veritable daddy . . . one who refuses to see me as anything more than the little girl I’d once been, no matter how hard I try to convince him otherwise. He has a way of pushing all my buttons, so I push back harder, and end up unleashing all those dark, sensual cravings he can no longer deny. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from him, and more. I want to be his, but Manning insists I’m too young for him, that I deserve so much better than a man as jaded as him. That’s where he’s wrong . . . he’s the perfect man for me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it. Forbidden Temptation is a steamy age gap, dad's best friend romance with a guaranteed happily ever after!

disposable causes

disposable causes PDF Author: Kristoco
Publisher: PublishAmerica
ISBN: 1633828832
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 142

Book Description
In this heart wrenching truth of what it’s like to walk amongst society as one of the invisible, Kristoco brings the words and sights of real life on the unforgiving streets to us in “Disposable Causes”. You’ll feel the hopelessness, sense the fight and experience the sadness that so many succumb to in a nation that prides itself as the “Super Power” of the world. Through his words, you’ll feel that pull between denial and empathy. You’ll take on a new sense of the feelings you have about your own life and hopefully a stronger conviction for your fellow man.

Horrific Holidays: A Collection of Five Terrors

Horrific Holidays: A Collection of Five Terrors PDF Author: Aiden Merchant
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1678179493
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 94

Book Description
In this first volume of HORRIFIC HOLIDAYS, Merchant tells of cannibalistic grocery baggers, violently jealous lovers, pain-bringing cultists, and more. HORRIFIC HOLIDAYS features five short stories and promises to be a gruesome ride. ""I read this gripping collection in one sitting...sspecially thankful to see Merchant taking risks in publishing this horror-only collection which differs from his previous books."" (Cassandra Vella via Goodreads) ""...one the bloodiest, gory, cannibalistic set of stories I've ever read."" (Kim Napolitano via Goodreads) ""...these stories are truly gripping."" (Syeda Sumayya Tariq via Goodreads) ""...I was too immersed to stop...was it ever hard to put this book down!"" (Amanda Turner via Goodreads)

Holiday in Death

Holiday in Death PDF Author: J. D. Robb
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101203692
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 336

Book Description
Lieutenant Eve Dallas tails a serial killer who has a passion for the "Twelve Days of Christmas" in this novel in the #1 New York Times bestselling In Death series. No one likes to be alone during the holidays. For New York's most posh dating service, Personally Yours, it is the season to bring lonely hearts together. But Lieutenant Eve Dallas, on the trail of a ritualistic serial killer who likes to dress up as Santa Claus, has made a disturbing discovery: all of the victims have been traced to Personally Yours. As the murders continue, Eve enters into an elite world of people searching for their one true love. A world where the power of love leads men and women into the ultimate act of betrayal...

Forbidden Love

Forbidden Love PDF Author: Kaylee Monroe
Publisher: Kaylee Monroe
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 578

Book Description
A COLLECTION OF 4 STEAMY AGE GAP ROMANCES FORBIDDEN CRUSH: I’m her boss, her father’s best friend, and far too old to want someone as young as her. When my best friend asked me to hire his daughter who was down on her luck, I didn’t hesitate to extend the offer, especially when I was in need of a new assistant. At twenty-three, she was young and vibrant . . . and far more irresistible than the young, teenaged girl I’d remembered her to be. Hiring Ashley was the best and worst decision of my life. The best decision because Ashley proved to be an amazing, invaluable assistant, anticipating my needs as her boss before I even expressed them. The worst decision because she was temptation personified, and when she made the first move and kissed me, I cracked under all that sensual tension and took everything she was offering, and more, until we were both too far gone to turn back. All hell breaks loose when her father finds out . . . but that’s nothing compared to the unexpected bombshell Ashley drops on me that changes everything. I’m going to be a daddy. FORBIDDEN TEMPTATION: Retired Marine, Manning Reid, had been my father’s best friend for as long as I could remember. But now, with my father gone, I’m left to run his beloved bar, Sullivan’s. I’m also stuck working with a hot, tough, impenetrable man I haven’t seen in years who has a way of making me desire things that should be forbidden between us. Manning is grumpy, over-protective, and built like sin. A veritable daddy . . . one who refuses to see me as anything more than the little girl I’d once been, no matter how hard I try to convince him otherwise. He has a way of pushing all my buttons, so I push back harder, and end up unleashing all those dark, sensual cravings he can no longer deny. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted from him, and more. I want to be his, but Manning insists I’m too young for him, that I deserve so much better than a man as jaded as him. That’s where he’s wrong . . . he’s the perfect man for me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it. FORBIDDEN ATTRACTION: Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had a thing for my best friend’s hot dad, Sutton. Now that I’m in my twenties and he’s divorced, there is no denying our attraction, despite our almost twenty year age gap. Except Sutton is hell-bent on being a good guy and keeping things platonic between us. What he doesn’t count on is my single-minded determination to be a bad girl and seduce him, until he can’t resist me any longer. When we find ourselves stranded at a resort and sharing a room, nothing will stop me from finally getting what I want. Sutton is everything I’ve fantasized about, and more, but when he’s forced to make an impossible decision, will he choose me, or walk away from everything we could be together? FORBIDDEN PROMISES: I never would have imagined being trapped in an elevator with my father’s best friend would ignite desires that we both were unable to deny. But all that lust between us came tumbling out, and despite our scorching hot attraction, and even steamier tryst, I swore it was a one-time thing. Never to happen again. At least that’s what I told myself. Kurt, however, didn’t feel the same. He was possessive and deliciously dominant, leaving no doubts in my mind that regardless of our age difference, and him being a long-time family friend and his daughter being my bestie, that I was the woman he wanted. I found myself in his bed on a regular basis, until I felt utterly consumed and addicted to him. And even when I swore it was the end, there was no walking away from this man . . . Because Kurt Blackwell was now my baby daddy.

Friends Without Benefits

Friends Without Benefits PDF Author: Dena Blake
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books Inc
ISBN: 1635553504
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 272

Book Description
Dex Putnam has been in love with her best friend Grace Standish since the fifth grade. Grace is smart, beautiful, and most unfortunately, straight. Life would’ve been perfect if Grace had only loved her back, but when Grace gets married, Dex knows it’s time to move on. Then Dex meets Emma Lawson, and her life takes a whole new direction. Only trouble is, she never expected to have to choose between her best friend and her new love. . Emma Lawson is successful and happy except when it comes to love. She’s been alone for a year and has no intention of giving love another chance, until falling for Dex changes everything. When Grace comes between them, Emma refuses to be second best. Can Emma show Dex what true love really looks like?

Super Subversive Cross Stitch

Super Subversive Cross Stitch PDF Author: Julie Jackson
Publisher: Sasquatch Books
ISBN: 1632173891
Category : Crafts & Hobbies
Languages : en
Pages : 75

Book Description
From the OG of the Subversive Cross Stitch movement (and brand of the same name) comes Super Subversive Cross Stitch. Featuring 50 easy-to-make designs—both brand-new patterns and fan favorites—stitched together with trademark wit. Don't freak out. Don't make this about you. May your life be as amazing as you pretend it is on Facebook. What fresh hell is this? Not today, Satan. Super Subversive Cross Stitch is here to provide crafters with the snarky inspirations they love to stitch. The book features 50 patterns—23 brand-new designs and 27 fan favorites—along with easy-to-follow instructions for the beginner and fonts and designs for adventurous crafters looking to customize their creations. It recasts a traditional, dare we say "sentimental," craft into a modern, relevant art form. It's the latest offering in the Subversive Cross Stitch brand, beloved by legions of DIYers. Less messy than graffiti, Super Subversive Cross Stitch allows crafters to adorn walls with political pith and irreverent twists on classic quotes ("I think, therefore I drink," "Let the good times be gin"). “This book reminds me that I'm not alone in being crafty and sweary all at the same time. Pass the gin.” —Jenny Lawson, New York Times–bestselling author of Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and Broken "Julie is the true OG of the subversive cross-stitch movement. Modern cross-stitch design would not be what it is today without her. She is a positive and supportive force in the cross-stitch community, providing mentorship to other designers and welcoming new stitchers into the hobby. I am so excited about her new book!" —Stephanie Rohr, author of Feminist Cross-Stitch