I'd Tell You To Go Fuck Yourself But You'd Probably Just Delegate That To Me Too PDF Download

Author: Ragamuffin Books
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781671375451
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 104

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Book Description
The best gag gift for friends & coworkers! Are you buying for someone who likes a good joke? Look no further! This is a great journaling & doodling notebook and makes a funny, memorable gift. Journal Features: SIZE: 6" x 9" inch PAPER: Ruled journaling paper PAGES: 100 cream colored pages COVER: Soft, glossy cover Suitable for journaling & drawing Convenient size and easy to carry Makes a great Christmas, Birthday, Secret Santa and Appreciation gift

Author: John Patrick Kavanagh
Publisher: Riverdale Avenue Books LLC
ISBN: 1626012970
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 225

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Book Description
Tense, involving, Camden’s Knife is a smart near-future thriller with a startlingly real sense of plausibility. In a world that's falling apart, can one ordinary person make a difference? Tremendous stuff! Kavanagh can write!” – Hugo Award-winner David Wingrove, author of the Chung Kuo series and the Roads To Moscow trilogy In the second novel in The Macroglint Trilogy set in the near future, Jip Spotswood, our intrepid pop culture reporter, is covering the biggest story of his life. The world has become riveted by a $100 Million Tournament of the game STANDOFF! which is to be held in Prism Resort in Las Vegas, at the same time as the greatest Battle of the Bands contest featuring Pandora’s Obsession vs. Christie Cramer, Billy Blair and the Alliance (CCBBA) in “the biggest rock concert in the history of the Universe.” And Spotswood has a stake in the outcome of both events that could not only change his own life, but the future of America.

Author: Allie Brosh
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451666187
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 384

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Book Description
#1 New York Times Bestseller “Funny and smart as hell” (Bill Gates), Allie Brosh’s Hyperbole and a Half showcases her unique voice, leaping wit, and her ability to capture complex emotions with deceptively simple illustrations. FROM THE PUBLISHER: Every time Allie Brosh posts something new on her hugely popular blog Hyperbole and a Half the internet rejoices. This full-color, beautifully illustrated edition features more than fifty percent new content, with ten never-before-seen essays and one wholly revised and expanded piece as well as classics from the website like, “The God of Cake,” “Dogs Don’t Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving,” and her astonishing, “Adventures in Depression,” and “Depression Part Two,” which have been hailed as some of the most insightful meditations on the disease ever written. Brosh’s debut marks the launch of a major new American humorist who will surely make even the biggest scrooge or snob laugh. We dare you not to. FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a book I wrote. Because I wrote it, I had to figure out what to put on the back cover to explain what it is. I tried to write a long, third-person summary that would imply how great the book is and also sound vaguely authoritative—like maybe someone who isn’t me wrote it—but I soon discovered that I’m not sneaky enough to pull it off convincingly. So I decided to just make a list of things that are in the book: Pictures Words Stories about things that happened to me Stories about things that happened to other people because of me Eight billion dollars* Stories about dogs The secret to eternal happiness* *These are lies. Perhaps I have underestimated my sneakiness!

Author: Linda Rich
Publisher: FriesenPress
ISBN: 1525558617
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 292

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Book Description
John Stilton peers down at a lifeless body after his murderer dragged it to its final resting place. His spirit cannot rest until it determines who committed this heinous act. Meanwhile his wife, Heather, types away at his uncompleted novel. John had no known enemies. The only person present when he was hit by a snow shovel and a fatal sledgehammer blow was Heather. Why would she kill him? Political differences? Heather being a staunch liberal and he a conservative. The ebbing of their sex life? Something he discovered from her past and sister’s suicide in 1991? John cannot rest in peace until he can piece this together and exact revenge. John had just reached out to the Highland Falls City Clerk, Ardil Chin, to seek an answer to a clue from Heather’s past. Ardil, an aspiring writer, hadn’t fallen prey to the stereotypical conclusions of his murder. As a result, she will publish under the pseudonym Linda Rich the novel TWISTED that detailed what really occurred in the Ft. Montgomery hamlet. Upon fixing a rattling A/C vent in Ardil’s recently purchased home of the Stiltons, the real truth is uncovered. This sequel to TWISTED takes the reader on a journey through Heather’s earlier life shortly after her sister’s death. Through age regression therapy, tragic events that molded her persona are revealed. The psychological murder mystery keeps the reader on their toes as the book twists, turns and unravels what really caused the trail of dead bodies left in her wake.

Author: Seth Kinstle
Publisher: Seth Kinstle
ISBN:
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 54

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Book Description
There are plenty of people out there who never get the birthday they dream of. They just can't seem to break their unlucky streak and get what they really want on their special day. So what better way to ease their pain than pranking them with this book? That's right, this is the perfect gag gift for anyone out there who has a sense of humor. Don't just get the person who matters to you a little nothing of a gift. Get them the ultimate experience they've been waiting for their entire life. It's time to kiss bad birthdays goodbye and make sure everyone you know gets the best possible birthday they could ever ask for. Or maybe you know someone down on their luck. Maybe they deserve something better than a stagnant waste of a day that should matter more than most people care to realize. If that's the case then this respectable piece of literature will fit perfectly on their shelf. Let's spread this movement around the world and cure everyone of their bad birthdays. So get ready to jump into bed with a random guy you don't know. With an uncanny taste for mending wounds and setting the record straight, he's sure to get the job done. You're in for a rundown so raw you'll be aching at the stakes from the good time you never thought was possible until now. So get your birthday suit on and get ready for the best birthday experience the world has to offer. It's time to get the gift you deserve.

Author: Laura Wood
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1668051915
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 352

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Book Description
The daughter of an aging rock star finds herself working for the hottest musician on the planet and is shocked when sparks start to fly—especially since she swore she’d never, ever date a celebrity—in this unputdownable romance that is perfect for fans of Christina Lauren and Emily Henry. She wants three things. He isn’t one of them... Dumped by her cheating ex, fired from her dream job, and about to lose her flat: Clementine Monroe is not having a good day. So when her sisters get her drunk and suggest reviving a childhood ritual called the Breakup Spell, she doesn’t see the harm in it. But now Clemmie has accidentally ruined a funeral, had her first one-night stand, and she’s stuck with a new job she definitely doesn’t want—spending six weeks alone with the gorgeous and very-off-limits rock star, Theo Eliott. He’s the most famous man on the planet. Her life’s a disaster. As their summer together turns into its own kind of magic, is Clemmie cursed to repeat the mistakes of her past—or will her future see all her wishes come true?

Author: Colleen Hoover
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 153872474X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 295

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Book Description
Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.

Author: Ellen DeGeneres
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
ISBN: 0446585033
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
~b~>With the winning, upbeat candor that has made her show on of the most popular and honored daytime shows on the air, beloved talk show host and comedian Ellen DeGeneres shares her views on life, love, and American Idol. "I've experienced a whole lot the last few years and I have a lot to share. So I hope that you'll take a moment to sit back, relax and enjoy the words I've put together for you in this book. I think you'll find I've left no stone unturned, no door unopened, no window unbroken, no rug unvacuumed, no ivories untickled. What I'm saying is, let us begin, shall we?" Seriously... I'm Kidding is a lively, hilarious, and often sweetly poignant look at the life of the much-loved entertainer as she opens up about her personal life, her talk show, and more. PRAISE FOR Seriously... I'm Kidding "DeGeneres's amiably oddball riffs on everything from kale to catwalks to Jesus will make fans smile." -- People "Whatever the topic, DeGeneres's compulsively readable style will appeal to fans old and new." - Publishers Weekly "Fans will not be disappointed...[DeGeneres's] trademark wit and openness shine through and through." -- Kirkus/DIVspan

Author: Heather Winterer
Publisher: University Press of Colorado
ISBN: 1885635257
Category : Poetry
Languages : en
Pages : 105

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Book Description
Heather Winterer explores the intimate territory between desolation and consolation, offering a poetry that translates the distances between spiritual endings and beginnings, between an "after what it used to be" and "an arrival." The work enacts the model of St. Ignatius Loyola, encouraging the collapse of lines between creation and creativity, time and space, the Christian and Christ, the self and the other. The voice of these poems moves exuberantly through various forms, resisting predication and celebrating its own multiplicity. With lyrical dexterity and humor, Winterer invites us into her world, a world of tangible absences and presences--where the Mojave Desert and the city of Las Vegas become the unlikely sites of spiritual encounter. The god of this quirky world appears in cars, apartment buildings, and swimming pools and speaks to us through desert plants and birds. Everything from the outside--natural and unnatural--spills into the poems and they turn whatever they are given into movement away from darkness and loss, toward possibility, potency and grace.

Author: Adam Mansbach
Publisher: Akashic Books
ISBN: 1453271023
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 18

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Book Description
The #1 New York Times Bestseller: “A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep” (NPR). “Hell no, you can’t go to the bathroom. You know where you can go? The f**k to sleep.” Go the Fuck to Sleep is a book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don’t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland. Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, it captures the familiar—and unspoken—tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. Read by a host of celebrities, from Samuel L. Jackson to Jennifer Garner, this subversively funny bestselling storybook will not actually put your kids to sleep, but it will leave you laughing so hard you won’t care.