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Author: Stuart Prebble Publisher: Orion ISBN: 0297856073 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 148
Book Description
How modern motoring drives Grumpies to distraction We've said that Christmas is the worst thing; we've said that working for idiots is the worst thing; we've said that holidays are the worst thing. But driving is the worst thing of all. It brings together so many of the multitude of individual elements which combine to make Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women grumpy. It's got queuing - at petrol stations, on side roads, on A roads, on motorways, at car parks and even at the 'drive through'. Very few things make Grumpies more grumpy than queuing. It's got being ripped off - when you buy a car, when you have it serviced, when you buy anything for it, when anything goes wrong, when you put petrol in it, when you wash it, when you park it, when it gets towed away and when some arsehole you've never met bumps into it. It's got being pissed about - when you want to book it in for a service, and when you get to tax it, insure it and get the MOT for it, and again when you want to sell it. And last but not least, it's got the most essential ingredient of grumpiness. Driving is a triumph of disappointment over expectation. When we were kids we thought driving would be the ultimate freedom and all it has turned out to be is a total pain in the tushkin. And that is not even mentioning Top sodding Gear...
Author: Stuart Prebble Publisher: Orion ISBN: 0297856073 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 148
Book Description
How modern motoring drives Grumpies to distraction We've said that Christmas is the worst thing; we've said that working for idiots is the worst thing; we've said that holidays are the worst thing. But driving is the worst thing of all. It brings together so many of the multitude of individual elements which combine to make Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women grumpy. It's got queuing - at petrol stations, on side roads, on A roads, on motorways, at car parks and even at the 'drive through'. Very few things make Grumpies more grumpy than queuing. It's got being ripped off - when you buy a car, when you have it serviced, when you buy anything for it, when anything goes wrong, when you put petrol in it, when you wash it, when you park it, when it gets towed away and when some arsehole you've never met bumps into it. It's got being pissed about - when you want to book it in for a service, and when you get to tax it, insure it and get the MOT for it, and again when you want to sell it. And last but not least, it's got the most essential ingredient of grumpiness. Driving is a triumph of disappointment over expectation. When we were kids we thought driving would be the ultimate freedom and all it has turned out to be is a total pain in the tushkin. And that is not even mentioning Top sodding Gear...
Author: Judith Holder Publisher: Random House ISBN: 1409047334 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 210
Book Description
We all know what it means these days to be a grumpy old man, because part of that role is to be outspoken. Well, we've heard just about enough out of the men, thank you very much! Grumpy Old Women gives us the other perspective: the female take on the million irritations of today's world. So whats the difference? Surely what is irritating to the mature members of one sex is equally annoying to the other? Not necessarily, and this is precisely what Grumpy Old Women seeks to address. Body image, visitors, children, animals, shopping, careers, parties, holidays and, yes, grumpy old men themselves all are very much on the list of what today's mature woman finds a source of concern. From the series producer and stand-up comic Judith Holder, the book incorporates material from the television series Grumpy Old Women, which features a diverse, colourful and very grumpy group of celebrities, including Janet Street Porter, Jenny Eclair, Ann Widdecombe, Germaine Greer, Kathryn Flett and Jilly Cooper. Written with wit, style and sympathy, the book is a source of both amusement and comfort to women everywhere - grumpy, old or otherwise.
Author: David Quantick Publisher: HarperCollins UK ISBN: 0007438354 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 192
Book Description
Following the phenomenal success of ‘Grumpy Old Men’, and ‘Grumpy Old Men on Holiday’, the guru of grump, David Quantick, takes a stand for miserable slobs everywhere against the self-help motivational mafia and keep-fit claptrap. The ultimate in stress-relief for the 21st-Century Grouch.
Author: Ian Allen Publisher: Portico ISBN: 1909396915 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 133
Book Description
Railing against the world? Fed up with everything? In need of a hefty dose of cynical humour? Then Grumpy Old Git Jokes is the book for you. Straight from the mouths of the grumpiest gits our proud nation has to offer, this bumper collection contains hundreds of jokes on favourite grumpy subjects such as politics, religion, education and technology. It muses on the grump's least favourite people (including judges, bankers and lawyers – 'What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? About three pounds, including the urn'), and the perennial subjects of ageing ('Old age is always fifteen years older than what I am') and health ('All you've got is hypochondria.' 'Can you give me anything for it?'). This deliciously cynical, delightfully dour, mirthfully miserable book will help anyone indulge their inner grumpy old git.
Author: Judith Holder Publisher: Weidenfeld & Nicolson ISBN: 1780223889 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 203
Book Description
The highly successful Grumpy Old Woman returns - and this time she's even grumpier! 'It feels like only yesterday I was the youngest person in the room, I had my whole life in front of me. I had time to burn, I spent my whole day snogging boys and backcombing my hair. I was a young thing, with a lovely body, life was fun, and I hadn't a care in the world. Now - it feels like two minutes later - I'm a little bit old. OK, I'm not in elasticated stockings or on Meals on Wheels whizzing down the stairs on my stairlift, but my life is more than half over. I've been there, done that, got the packamac. I'm so old that I remember dances with drum solos, the arrival of unisex hairdressers and had a crush on Ilya Kuryakin. I am up at the top of the hill, and over the other side again. What all this means, is that I am grumpy. But I've earnt it... I lived through Boney M and leg warmers and the Crossroads Motel. Obviously in a book this size I wouldn't be able to share with you ALL of my grumps. But I've decided to write down some of the secret thoughts that beset a woman of a certain age, some of the wicked things that occur to a woman who takes a lot of things to the dry cleaners, has to have her roots done every four weeks and finds it hard to wear high heels. And guess what: they still fancy people, still have silly little crushes on people at work, still - shock horror - have sex. You will discover that women of a certain age are just as provocative and turned on as women in their twenties. Probably more so. So get over it. Middle-aged women are sexy, funny and infinitely lovable. They are also taking over the world.'
Author: Connor Whiteley Publisher: CGD Publishing ISBN: Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 28
Book Description
A Pregnant Private Eye. A Nephew Upset. A Corrupt Driving Experience. Crimes happen in the least likely of places. Private Eye Bettie English waits for her nephew Sean at the heart of Canterbury. Scents of coffee surround Bettie. She enjoys being pregnant. What Sean says shocks her to the core. This gripping, unputdownable mystery short story adds a rich dimension to the growing best-selling series readers love. BUY NOW!
Author: Eddie Hall Publisher: Troubador Publishing Ltd ISBN: 1783061960 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 312
Book Description
From the UK’s youngest grumpy man, who brought you A Certain Point of View, comes another hilarious collection of rants. Eddie Hall’s one-man crusade against the forces of stupidity continues in his second journal. In this book, Eddie tries to uncover the answers to more important worldly questions, like why cinema seats are designed to paralyse people from the waist down (why in the name of Dumbledore’s danglies do they make the seats so uncomfortable?) as well as offer useful insights; if people who drive Nissan Micras are the herpes of the road, people who ride Mopeds are the gonorrhoea (they are slow, ugly, unsafe and could make even Keira Knightley look ridiculous and unattractive) and why no man will ever understand what a woman is talking about (I’ve yet to fully master this bizarre language). Like Eddie’s previous book, this is a collection of satirical articles covering a wide range of topics that will be enjoyed by fans of humorous books. Eddie, whose writing style is comparable to that of Jeremy Clarkson, adopts an informal, conversational style that draws the reader in and allows them to relate to his (very valid) points. Warning: This book contains sarcastic material. Do not read if you suffer from any of the following conditions: A sense of humor deficiency, Humorphobia, Easilyoffendeditis or Americanitis.
Author: Ivor Grump Publisher: Portico ISBN: 9781906032791 Category : Social Science Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Following in the curmudgeonly footsteps of One Grump or Two, The Grumpy Driver’s Handbook is a celebration of all that is miserable and tedious on the road. Driving brings out the worst in even the most mild mannered individual and so a book on the worst habits in motoring and the ‘joys’ of car ownership is the natural gift for the career grump. Spurred on by endless roadworks, coned-off lanes, BMW drivers, white van men, speed cameras, lunatic cyclists, rude taxi drivers and kamikazi motorcyclists, the grump has an ocean of opportunity for expression. The Grumpy Driver’s Handbook (including The Highway Grump) tackles the evils of lane swappers, caravan owners, bumper huggers, rubber neckers, light jumpers, hard shoulder cruisers, sleeping policemen and speaking policemen.
Author: Isabel Tom Publisher: Moody Publishers ISBN: 0802498167 Category : Family & Relationships Languages : en Pages : 166
Book Description
That Wasn't A White Hair, Was It? We’re so afraid of aging that we begin to devalue ourselves and others with each passing year. The phrase "30 years old" incites panic. Seniors live in separate communities and barely interact with young people, while middle-aged people spend millions each year on anti-aging products. But what if we have it all wrong? Isabel Tom grew up living with grandparents and has spent over a decade of her career serving older adults. In The Value of Wrinkles she: Teaches you what the elderly offer us that we cannot live without Challenges our cultural beliefs and practices that affect those who are aging Gives you practical insight on how to care for those older than you
Author: Stuart Prebble
Author: Stuart Prebble
Author: Judith Holder
Author: David Quantick
Author: Ian Allen
Author: Grumpy Old
Author: Judith Holder
Author: Connor Whiteley
Author: Eddie Hall
Author: Ivor Grump
Author: Isabel Tom