Earl the Grump PDF Download

Author: Earl
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473529921
Category : Pets
Languages : en
Pages : 98

View

Book Description
Earl has a bone to pick. He doesn’t want you to love him. All Earl wants is to be left in peace to eat, scratch and sleep. But he now has to put up with being a global internet sensation. Please just leave him alone and stop being so utterly stupid and annoying.

Author: Earl
Publisher: Ebury Press
ISBN: 9781785034091
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

View

Book Description
Earl has a bone to pick. He doesn't want you to love him. All Earl wants is to be left in peace to eat, scratch and sleep. But he now has to put up with being a global internet sensation. Please just leave him alone and stop being so utterly stupid and annoying.

Author: Linda Rae Sande
Publisher: Twisted Teacup Publishing
ISBN: 194627156X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 133

View

Book Description
He's a grouch. She's the reason. Having said her farewells to her son when he departed for his Grand Tour of Europe, Patience Grayson, the newly widowed Marchioness of Billingsley, heads for the country. She intends to spend at least a year living by herself in the Grayson family estate in Shropshire. If only her traveling coach could make it that far. When a wheel breaks, it does so in a most inconvenient location. Saddled with an earldom left nearly bankrupt by his late father’s gambling and drinking, Max Higgins, Earl of Greenley, hasn’t had a good day for over twenty years—not since the woman he was supposed to marry threw him over for another. Ever since, his bitterness has him known throughout Staffordshire as the Earl of Grump. Although he found another to be his countess, the poor woman died giving birth to his heir, some say to escape his surly moods. Max’s solitude in his Staffordshire country manor house is about to be shattered when the cause of his grumpiness invades his home—and his bedchamber—on a late winter night. Will life ever be the same?

Author: Carlton Mellick, III
Publisher: Hydra
ISBN: 0804179352
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 536

View

Book Description
“Carlton Mellick III goes past silly, through weird, detours around dumb, blasts through bizarre, and gets to a place where the normal physics of narrative no longer apply. You will never be the same.”—Cory Doctorow, author of Little Brother and Homeland In a topsy-turvy world where clowns are killers and crooks, Little Bigtop is a three-ring circus of crime, and no syndicate is more dangerous than the Binzo family. From the wildly original mind of Carlton Mellick III comes the short-story collection ClownFellas—an epic mob saga where life is cheap and the gags will slay you. For years, the hard-boiled capos of the Binzo family have run all of the funny business in Little Bigtop, from the clown brothels to the illegal comedy trade. But hard times have befallen the Binzos now that Le Mystère, the French clown Mafia, has started moving in and trying to take over the city. If that weren’t enough, they’ve got to deal with the cops, the Feds, the snitches, the carnies, the mysterious hit man Mr. Pogo, and the mutant clowns over in the Sideshow district. With the odds stacked against them, the Binzos must fight to survive . . . or die laughing. Praise for ClownFellas “Mario Puzo meets Barnum & Bailey . . . You just can’t look away as the ridiculousness escalates.”—Publishers Weekly “The most original novelist working today? The most outrageous? The most unpredictable? These aren’t easy superlatives to make; however, Carlton Mellick may well be all of those things, behind a canon of books that all irreverently depart from the form and concepts of traditional novels, and adventure the reader into a howling, dark fantasyland of the most bizarre, over-the-top, and mind-warping inventiveness. In my opinion, ClownFellas is his best work to date.”—Edward Lee, author of City Infernal and Header “I rarely enjoy clowns—which is ironic since I’ve been one for over four decades—but ClownFellas is great on so many levels, irony being one of them. What can I say besides I love it! Great read, and funny as hell . . . I have been accused of being unfunny before, and after the trial I had to enter the Witless Protection Program. This is funny!”—Barry Lubin, aka Grandma, longtime Big Apple Circus clown “If Martin Scorsese and Ronald McDonald had a baby, this would be it. . . . Each story is clever, multi-layered, and filled with witty dialogue. . . . A must-read.”—This Is Horror “Mellick’s writing is wonderfully descriptive and wildly imaginative. . . . I was utterly delighted, amused, and engrossed. . . . ClownFellas is a gem!”—The Qwillery “A rollercoaster ride through a strange world that borders on our own reality . . . a story that is just as difficult to define as it is to put down.”—Examiner.com “Mellick has created another amazing read. . . . Highly recommended.”—Kitty Horror

Author: Tuomas Kyrö
Publisher: Bonnier Publishing Fiction Ltd.
ISBN: 1786580160
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 170

View

Book Description
A funny, uplifting and life-affirming tale of grumpiness perfect if you loved books like Eleanor Oliphont is Completely Fine,Rachel Joyce's The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry or Ruth Hogan's The Keeper Of Lost Things Maybe there's a little grump in all of us . . . The Grump, at eighty years old, is more focused on death than life; building his own coffin and keen to write his will in ink - who can trust technology, after all? - he knows that everything was much better in the old days. But when the Grump finds himself in hospital after falling down his basement steps, his life passes before his eyes. Thinking of the people closest to him and reflecting on the changes to the world, he starts to see the things a little differently. But can an old Grump learn new love? With warm humour and a loving look at family and relationships, The Happy Days of the Grump is sure to bring a smile to even the grumpiest faces.

Author: Janna MacGregor
Publisher: St. Martin's Paperbacks
ISBN: 125076162X
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 300

View

Book Description
Get ready for lost wills, broody dukes, and scorching hot kissing all over London in Rules for Engaging the Earl by Janna MacGregor. Constance Lysander needs a husband. Or, so society says. She’s about to give birth to her late husband’s child—a man who left her with zero money, and two other wives she didn’t know about. Thankfully, she has her Aunt by her side, and the two other wives have become close friends. But still—with a baby on the way, her shipping business to run, and an enemy skulking about, she has no time to find the perfect match. Enter Jonathan, Earl of Sykeston. Returned war hero and Constance’s childhood best friend, his reentry into society has been harsh. Maligned for an injury he received in the line of duty, Jonathan prefers to stay out of sight. It’s the only way to keep his heart from completely crumbling. But when a missive from Constance requests his presence—to their marriage ceremony—Jonathan is on board. His feelings for Constance run deep, and he’ll do anything to make her happy, though it means risking his already bruised heart. With Constance, Jonathan, and the new baby all together, it’s clear the wounds—both on the surface and in their relationship—run deep. But when the nights come, their wounds begin to heal, and both come to realize that their marriage of convenience is so much more than just a bargain. Praise for Janna MacGregor: "Janna MacGregor dazzles." —Eloisa James "Janna MacGregor's stories positively sparkle." —Christi Caldwell

Author: Kieran Kramer
Publisher: St. Martin's Paperbacks
ISBN: 1466828463
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 123

View

Book Description
In this exclusive e-novella from Kieran Kramer, a daring young debutante learns that when it comes to love, there's more than meets the eye... Lady Eleanor Gibbs is shocked when she stumbles upon a tattooed London gentleman involved in an illicit embrace. Five years ago, a masked man bearing that same tattoo saved her and the six children of the Marquess and Marchioness of Brady from a band of thieves. Now, Ellie's "hero"—better known as the notorious Earl of Tumbridge—appears to be no more than a common cad. When this master of seduction and corrupter of virtue dares to sabotage her marital opportunities, it's more than Ellie can bear. What Ellie does not yet understand is that the inked scoundrel has a reason for ruining her chances for love: He wants her all to himself...

Author:
Publisher: Random House
ISBN: 1473529859
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 130

View

Book Description
Struggling to explain what you mean? Can’t find the words to do you justice? Think a picture could say it better? Keep Walking, This Doesn't Concern You brings together some of the internet’s laugh-out-loud and ridiculously stupid memes to help you make sense... #parenting, #relationships, #winning, #fails, #work, #drinking and #lols whatever the occasion, you’ll never have to worry about expressing yourself again. #TheresaMemeforThat

Author: Linda Rae Sande
Publisher: Twisted Teacup Publishing
ISBN: 1946271888
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 283

View

Book Description
The bastard son of an earl. An Italian conte’s daughter. It's almost love at first sight for these two when they meet during his Grand Tour of Sicily. But why does her father encourage a courtship if he has already promised her to another? The bastard grandson of a marquess, Donald Slater has been on his Grand Tour for nearly a year, keeping copious notes with the intention of writing a book for others to use as a guide when they take their tours. He's visiting the last island on his itinerary—Sicily—when he comes face to face with his future. She's young, she's beautiful, and she's a flirt, at least according to her aunt. Nicoletta D'Avalos is surprised when her father encourages a courtship between her and the Englishman they met in the Prince of Biscari's gardens in the heart of Catania. She expected to be married off to an Italian aristocrat, one who could refill her father's dwindling coffers. She's more than happy to spend time with Donald, though, especially after she realizes she has feelings for him. In fact, she's quite sure she's in love with him. When these two learn what the conte has arranged, though, their fledgling courtship must end. For now. When it comes to Grand Tours, Donald knows there is always an opportunity to act as a guide for younger siblings and cousins. When it comes to Nicoletta, he also knows there is more at stake than simply an interrupted courtship. And when the time is right, he will claim what it his. They made a pact, and he's determined to keep it.

Author: Linda Rae Sande
Publisher: Twisted Teacup Publishing
ISBN: 1946271721
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 287

View

Book Description
A marquess wants a duchess. Her son wants his daughter. His son wants her daughter. Will a feud from their past keep them apart? Locked in a secret romance with the stunning Lady Amelia, Philip, the Earl of Crawford is determined to win her hand in marriage... but if her pompous brother Alfred catches wind, he fears their old University feud will shatter their chance at love. Michael is no stranger to heartbreak – and he’s dead set on not letting his son Philip experience the same pain. But the reclusive widower’s mission to save their courtship brings him face-to-face with a long-lost love – the Duchess Helena, Lady Amelia’s mother. Can they rekindle their spark after three decades apart? And will Helena ever approve of her daughter’s secretive suitor? Meanwhile, Philip’s sister Violet hatches a plan to draw both families together. She catches the eye of Helena’s son Alfred – but what begins as a fake courtship quickly begins to become all too real. Is she willing to sacrifice the future for her brother and best friend? Or are these two families fated to remain apart? Beautifully written as a scintillating Victorian romance novel that charms your heartstrings with themes of forbidden romance and second chance love, The Pursuit of a Duchess transports you into the enchanting world of 19th-century aristocratic society, complete with authentic historical detail and unforgettable characters. Scroll up and grab your copy now...