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Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: HarperBusiness
ISBN: 9780887308819
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196

Book Description
Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: HarperBusiness
ISBN: 9780887308819
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 196

Book Description
Behind the closed doors of corporate management lurks a manifesto so devious, so insidious, and of such diabolic power, it has the ability to transform normal human beings into paradigm–spewing zombies. Its purpose: to help bosses stick it to their employees. Its author: none other than Dogbert, the canine corporate consultant out to rule the world. All too often, new managers make mistakes such as rewarding good work with good pay, communicating clearly and improving departmental efficiency. Dogbert shows that this could have devastating consequences: Employees begin to expect fair treatment and compensation, productive workers show results (making managers look bad by comparison), and the department's future budget allotment could be decreased because it spends only what it needs. Drawing from his years of experience tormenting Dilbert and advising his boss, our Machiavellian mutt uses pithy essays, illustrated by scores of comic strips, to teach neophyte managers such potent practices as: The power of verbal instructions: Sound like a boss while maintaining complete deniability! Empty promises of promotion: all the motivational benefits, none of the costs! Pretending to care: Learn how to hear without listening! Incentives: Inspire employees by giving them worthless knickknacks! Once again firmly establishing Scott Adams as the spokesman for the absurdities of the workplace (and Dogbert as the guru of sticking it to the masses), Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook is the perfect gift for all cubicle dwellers and their bosses.

Thriving on Vague Objectives

Thriving on Vague Objectives PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 0740755331
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 128

Book Description
Dilbert and the gang are back for this 26th collection, another take-off of office life that will appeal to cubicle dwellers across the globe.

Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies

Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies PDF Author:
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780836217575
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 116

Book Description
Here's everything you need to know about how business really operates courtesy of Dogbert.

Microsoft .NET and SAP

Microsoft .NET and SAP PDF Author: Juergen Daiberl
Publisher: Microsoft Press
ISBN:
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 482

Book Description
Get hands-on answers to frequently asked questions about using Microsoft .NET technologies to customize and extend SAP applications. Walk through dozens of real-world examples--from Web Services integration to business intelligence (BI) reporting and Microsoft Office-based solutions--direct from a team of Microsoft-SAP interoperability experts. Learn how to expose back-end SAP data through familiar Microsoft tools and UIs--for better productivity and lower TCO. Discover how to: Navigate the development environment and tools--including Microsoft Visual Studio, Visual Studio Tools for Office, and BizTalk Server Connect .NET and SAP via Web Services, tools like SAP Connector and Enterprise Service Explorer, and .NET Data Provider Implement BI solutions that unlock SAP data through familiar Microsoft UIs Expose data from SAP NetWeaver Portal in Microsoft Office SharePoint Server Use the Business Data Catalog to display and search SAP content--no coding Build your own Office Business Applications (OBAs), or put Duet to work Add Microsoft Office presence functionality and forms solutions to SAP applications Deliver a single sign-on solution

The Dilbert Principle

The Dilbert Principle PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
ISBN: 9780752272207
Category : Art
Languages : en
Pages : 356

Book Description
The Dilbert Principle is an inside view of bosses, meetings, management fads and other workplace afflictions. Scott Adams examines even more bizarre and hilarious situations in the world of work with growing absurdity.In twenty-six provocative, illustrated chapters, Adams reveals the secrets of management in every company, including; swearing your way to success, faking quality, trolls in the accounting department, humiliation as a management tool, selling bad products to stupid people and more! 'A roaring success' Daily Telegraph.

Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain!

Stick to Drawing Comics, Monkey Brain! PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Portfolio
ISBN: 9781591842309
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 404

Book Description
Everyone knows Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, as the king of workplace humor. His insights into the crazy world of business have long been on display in his hugely popular comic strip and bestselling books like The Dilbert Principle. But there's much more to life than work, and it turns out that the man behind Dogbert and the Pointy-Haired Boss has an equally outrageous take on life outside the cubicle. Adams ventures into uncharted territory in this collection of more than 150 short pieces on everything from lunar real estate to serial killers, not to mention politics, religion, dating, underwear, alien life, and the menace of car singing. He isn't afraid to confront the most pressing questions of our day, such as the pros and cons of toothpaste smuggling, why kangaroos don't drive cars, and whether Jesus would approve of your second iPod.

Still Pumped from Using the Mouse

Still Pumped from Using the Mouse PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9780836210262
Category : Comics & Graphic Novels
Languages : en
Pages : 136

Book Description
"Provides an outrageously fresh and farcical takes on the work-a-day world and Dilbert's own pathetic life"--Back cover.

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006052149X
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 372

Book Description
Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel. Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game – master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.

Starting FORTH

Starting FORTH PDF Author: Leo Brodie
Publisher: Prentice Hall
ISBN:
Category : Computers
Languages : en
Pages : 374

Book Description
Software -- Programming Languages.

The Dilbert Future

The Dilbert Future PDF Author: Scott Adams
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 0887309100
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 292

Book Description
Step aside, Bill Gates! Here comes today′s real technology guru and his totally original, laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller that looks at the approaching new millennium and boldly predicts: more stupidity ahead. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously funny, dead-on-target tome offers half-truthful, half-farcical predictions that push all of today′s hot buttons - from business and technology to society and government. Children - they are our future, so we′re pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they′re still too little to stop us. Human Potential - we′ll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don′t use today, and find out that there wasn′t anything in that part. Computers - Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously