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Author: Geoff Tibballs Publisher: Robinson ISBN: 1849019223 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 176
Book Description
With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
Author: Geoff Tibballs Publisher: Robinson ISBN: 1849019223 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 176
Book Description
With old age comes grey hair, dodgy knees, a sudden passion for re-runs of Murder, She Wrote, and an apparent God-given licence to speak one's mind and be generally offensive without fear of retribution. Under the guise of passing on the benefits of their experience to family members or just casual acquaintances, old people exercise their right to swear, cuss and insult as they please. These feisty philosophers take no prisoners as they use their scalpel-like tongues to dissect modern life and the younger generations. If challenged over their outrageous comments, they'll play the age card: you know the sort of thing - 'I'm eighty-six, I've fought for my country, and if I want to call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, then I'll call you a no-good, lowdown, useless fuckwit, Vicar.' Other gems include: It bugs me when people say, 'Life is short.' What the hell does it mean? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! Are they going to do something that's longer? Son, if it's got tits or tyres, you're gonna have trouble with it. We all have our disappointments in life, son, and I'm talking to mine right now. The only way in which life resembles a bed of roses is that you encounter a lot of pricks along the way. Sure I'm surprised you can't get a job, son. I heard the world was crying out for someone who is lazy, has no qualifications but can spit gum into a waste paper basket from ten feet. Don't you think you might stand a better chance of becoming a captain of industry if you got rid of some of that metal shit on your body - like the nose stud and the eyebrow rings? Donald Trump may have a crap haircut but I bet he doesn't have pierced fucking nipples. Son, if life was fair, Elvis would still be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. The secret of a happy life is to run out of cash and air at exactly the same time.
Author: Geoff Tibballs Publisher: Running Press Adult ISBN: 9780762442362 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 0
Book Description
Wise, offensive, whatever you want to call it, old people take no prisoners as they dissect modern life and the younger generations: "Life's a b*tch. Deal with it." Under the guise of passing on their experience to family members, neighbors, or even casual acquaintances, older folks exercise their right to swear, cuss, and insult as they please. This humorous collection of wisdom from our elders will prove that with increasing age and grey hair comes a newfound confidence to speak one's mind.
Author: Catharine McClellan Publisher: University of Ottawa Press ISBN: 1772823015 Category : Social Science Languages : en Pages : 397
Book Description
Long out-of-print, My Old People Say has remained a primary resource for students of the history and culture of northwestern North America. Catherine McClellan’s three decades of collaboration with the Inland Tlingit, Tagish and Southern Tutchone resulted in two splendid, scholarly volumes that document rich and detailed memories of late nineteenth century social organization, subsistence strategies and resource allocation, as well as aesthetic, spiritual and intellectual traditions.
Author: Catharine McClellan Publisher: University of Ottawa Press ISBN: 1772823023 Category : Social Science Languages : en Pages : 323
Book Description
Long out-of-print, My Old People Say has remained a primary resource for students of the history and culture of northwestern North America. Catherine McClellan’s three decades of collaboration with the Inland Tlingit, Tagish and Southern Tutchone resulted in two splendid, scholarly volumes that document rich and detailed memories of late nineteenth century social organization, subsistence strategies and resource allocation, as well as aesthetic, spiritual and intellectual traditions.
Author: Ashton Applewhite Publisher: Celadon Books ISBN: 1250311489 Category : Self-Help Languages : en Pages : 302
Book Description
“Wow. This book totally rocks. It arrived on a day when I was in deep confusion and sadness about my age. Everything about it, from my invisibility to my neck. Within four or five wise, passionate pages, I had found insight, illumination, and inspiration. I never use the word empower, but this book has empowered me.” —Anne Lamott, New York Times bestselling author Author, activist, and TED speaker Ashton Applewhite has written a rousing manifesto calling for an end to discrimination and prejudice on the basis of age. In our youth obsessed culture, we’re bombarded by media images and messages about the despairs and declines of our later years. Beauty and pharmaceutical companies work overtime to convince people to purchase products that will retain their youthful appearance and vitality. Wrinkles are embarrassing. Gray hair should be colored and bald heads covered with implants. Older minds and bodies are too frail to keep up with the pace of the modern working world and olders should just step aside for the new generation. Ashton Applewhite once held these beliefs too until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces her journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. Explaining the roots of ageism in history and how it divides and debases, Applewhite examines how ageist stereotypes cripple the way our brains and bodies function, looks at ageism in the workplace and the bedroom, exposes the cost of the all-American myth of independence, critiques the portrayal of elders as burdens to society, describes what an all-age-friendly world would look like, and offers a rousing call to action. It’s time to create a world of age equality by making discrimination on the basis of age as unacceptable as any other kind of bias. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride!
Author: Isaac Asimov Publisher: Fawcett ISBN: 0307792277 Category : Science Languages : en Pages : 289
Book Description
A thrilling nonfiction tour of the cosmos that brings the universe down to Earth, from one of the all-time masters of science fiction. No one makes sense out of science like Isaac Asimov. Are you puzzled by pulsars? Baffled by black holes? Bewildered by the big bang? If so, here are succinct, crystal-clear answers to more than one hundred of the most significant questions about the essential nature of the universe—questions that have fired the imagination since the beginning of history. Over the course of this fantastic voyage, the origins, the discoveries, and the stunning achievements of astronomy will unfold before your eyes. You will experience close encounters with giant planets, exploding stars, distant galaxies, and more. For anyone who has ever asked the ultimate questions, who has ever looked up at the sky and asked What in heaven is going on?, Isaac Asimov’s unique vision, skill, and authority will bring the big picture into focus. “A fine introduction to modern astronomical theory.”—Library Journal
Author: Ling Mengchu Publisher: DeepLogic ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages :
Book Description
" The First Shot of Surprises" 初刻拍案惊奇 or Chuke Paian Jingqi is a collection of short stories in the Ming Dynasty of China . It was written by Ling Xiaochu at the end of the Ming Dynasty . It is a collection of short stories written under the direct influence of "Sanyan, or three words", and later called "Three Words" and " Two shots (with another “The Second Shot of Surprises" with same style published later) collectively. "Three Words" refers to "Yu Shi Ming Yan, Clear Words to Understand the World", "Jing Shi Tong Yan, Warnings of the World", "Xing Shi Heng Yan, Constant Words Awakening the World", three collection of short stories in ancient China. " The First Shot of Surprises " finalized in the Ming Tianqi seven years (1627), the following year ( Chongzhen first year) print and publish the Shang Youtang Bookstore, a total of forty volumes for forty separate story. . " The First Shot of Surprises" book in the forty volumes of the nine chapters of the Tang Dynasty , Song seven, Yuan six, Ming 13 articles, five uncertain times. The content of the story is mainly based on " Tai Ping Guang Ji ", " Yi Jian Zhi ", "Scissor New Words", "Scissors of Lights" and other books. It is a portrayal of the Ming Dynasty society. Ling Xiaochu was deeply influenced by Feng Menglong.
Author: Jean-Guy Goulet Publisher: U of Nebraska Press ISBN: 9780803270749 Category : Social Science Languages : en Pages : 384
Book Description
This innovative study reveals the creative world of a Native community. Once seminomadic hunters and gatherers who traveled by horse wagon, canoe, and dog sled, the Dene Tha of northern Canada today live in government-built homes in the settlement of Chateh. Their lives are a distinct blend of old and new, in which traditional forms of social control, healing, and praying entwine with services supplied by the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, a nursing station, and a Roman Catholic church. Many older cultural beliefs and practices remain: ghosts linger, reincarnating and sometimes causing deaths; past and future are interpreted through the Prophet Dance; ?animal helpers? become lifelong companions and sources of power; and personal visions and experiences are considered the roots of true knowledge. Why and how are such striking beliefs and practices still vital to the Dene Tha? Drawing on extensive fieldwork at Chateh, anthropologist Jean-Guy Goulet delineates the interconnections between the strands of meaning and experience with which the Dene Tha constitute and creatively engage their world. Goulet?s insights into the Dene Tha?s ways of knowing were gained through directly experiencing their lifeway rather than through formal instruction. This experiential perspective makes his study especially illuminating, providing an intimate glimpse of a remarkable and enduring Native community.
Author: Arthur Machen Publisher: Good Press ISBN: Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 670
Book Description
This carefully crafted ebook: "THE WEIRD TALES - Horror & Macabre Collection" is formatted for your eReader with a functional and detailed table of contents. The Great God Pan was widely denounced by the press as degenerate and horrific because of its decadent style and sexual content, although it has since garnered a reputation as a classic of horror. H. P. Lovecraft praised the story, saying: "No one could begin to describe the cumulative suspense and ultimate horror with which every paragraph abounds"; he added that "the sensitive reader" reaches the end with "an appreciative shudder." Lovecraft also noted, however, that "melodrama is undeniably present, and coincidence is stretched to a length which appears absurd upon analysis." Bennett Cerf described the story as a "masterpiece". The Three Impostors is an episodic novel incorporating several weird stories, including "The Novel of the White Powder" and "The Novel of the Black Seal", and culminates in a final denouement of deadly horror, connected with a secret society devoted to debauched pagan rites. The three impostors of the title are members of this society who weave a web of deception in the streets of London—relating the aforementioned weird tales in the process—as they search for a missing Roman coin commemorating an infamous orgy by the Emperor Tiberius and close in on their prey: "the young man with spectacles". The White People is a fantasy-horror book. A discussion between two men on the nature of evil leads one of them to reveal a mysterious Green Book he possesses. It is often described as one of the greatest of all horror stories. Arthur Machen (1863-1947) was a Welsh author and mystic of the 1890s and early 20th century. He is best known for his influential supernatural, fantasy, and horror fiction. Table of Contents: The Three Impostors The Terror The Secret Glory A Fragment of Life The White People The Great God Pan The Inmost Light The Shining Pyramid The Red Hand The Great Return
Author: Alastair Reynolds Publisher: Gollancz ISBN: 0575086106 Category : Fiction Languages : en Pages : 502
Book Description
A fabulous collection spanning the galaxies and career of SF superstar Alastair Reynolds Reynolds' pursuit of truth is not limited to wide-angle star smashing - not that stars don't get pulverised when one character is gifted (or cursed) with an awful weapon by the legendary Merlin. Reynolds' protagonists find themselves in situations of betrayal, whether by a loved one's accidental death, as in 'Signal to Noise', or by a trusted wartime authority, in 'Spirey and the Queen'. His fertile imagination can resurrect Elton John on Mars in 'Understanding Space and Time' or make prophets of the human condition out of pool-cleaning robots in the title story. But overall, the stories in ZIMA BLUE represent a more optimistic take on humanity's future, a view that says there may be wars, there may be catastrophes and cosmic errors, but something human will still survive.
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Author: Geoff Tibballs
Author: Catharine McClellan
Author: Catharine McClellan
Author: Ashton Applewhite
Author: Isaac Asimov
Author: Ling Mengchu
Author: Jean-Guy Goulet
Author: Arthur Machen
Author: Alastair Reynolds