Confessions of Super Mom PDF Download

Author: Melanie Lynne Hauser
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101166231
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 236

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Book Description
According to my thirteen-year-old son, every superhero has an origin. My origin is a little embarrassing. I wasn’t put into a rocket and sent to Earth by my parents. I wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider. No, I was merely the innocent victim of a Horrible Swiffer Accident.… Strange things are happening to divorced mother of two Birdie Lee since the Horrible Swiffer Accident. She can sense danger (for example, a carload of speeding teenagers not wearing their seat belts) and spring into action with superhuman speed. She can find out what her daughter is up to on the Internet without even having to snoop. And she’s got cleaning powers ordinary women can only dream of.… Warm, witty, and full of heart, Confessions of Super Mom is the tale of a woman who dares to take a stand against everything from stubborn stains to smug exs to corporate CEOs—and winds up defeating evil in some very unexpected ways.

Author: Melanie Lynne Hauser
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1440674574
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 282

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Book Description
“Forget the laundry, forget the dishes, escape into the world of Super Mom for a few hours . . . You’ll be glad you did.”—Meg Cabot, author of The Princess Diaries and Queen of Babble Astro Park’s fearless maternal dynamo is back, battling evildoers—and her own panic, as her daughter learns how to drive and her son gears up for his first date. The action never stops for Birdie Lee, divorced mother of two who became a super-powered suburban avenger after a Horrible Swiffer Accident. Busily fundraising for a brand-new stadium where the kids can play ball, she’s also planning a wedding to her very own Super Man. But soon her Super Mom Sense warns her that something’s wrong with the new stadium. And when she investigates, a shadowy figure tries to toss Super Mom out of the game for good.

Author: Jill Smokler
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1451673787
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 178

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Book Description
Sometimes I just let my children fall asleep in front of the TV. In a culture that idealizes motherhood, it’s scary to confess that, in your house, being a mother is beautiful and dirty and joyful and frustrating all at once. Admitting that it’s not easy doesn’t make you a bad mom; at least, it shouldn’t. If I can’t survive my daughter as a toddler, how the hell am I going to get through the teenage years? When Jill Smokler was first home with her small children, she thought her blog would be something to keep friends and family updated. To her surprise, she hit a chord in the hearts of mothers everywhere. I end up doing my son’s homework. It’s wrong, but so much easier. Total strangers were contributing their views on that strange reality called motherhood. As other women shared their stories, Jill realized she wasn’t alone in her feelings of exhaustion and imperfection. My eighteen month old still can’t say “Mommy” but used the word “shit” in perfect context. But she sensed her readers were still holding back, so decided to start an anonymous confessional, a place where real moms could leave their most honest thoughts without fearing condemnation. I pretend to be happy but I cry every night in the shower. The reactions were amazing: some sad, some pee-in-your-pants funny, some brutally honest. But they were real, not a commercial glamorization. I clock out of motherhood at 8 P.M. and hide in the basement with my laptop and a beer. If you’re already a fan, lock the bathroom door on your whining kids, run a bubble bath, and settle in. If you’ve not encountered Scary Mommy before, break out a glass of champagne as well, because you’ll be toasting your initiation into a select club. I know why some animals eat their young. In chapters that cover husbands (The Biggest Baby of Them All) to homework (Didn’t I Already Graduate?), Confessions of a Scary Mommy combines all-new essays from Jill with the best of the anonymous confessions. Sometimes I wish my son was still little—then I hear kids screaming at the store. As Jill says, “We like to paint motherhood as picture perfect. A newborn peacefully resting on his mother’s chest. A toddler taking tentative first steps into his mother’s loving arms. A mother fluffing her daughter’s prom dress. These moments are indeed miraculous and joyful; they can also be few and far between.” Of course you adore your kids. Of course you would lay down your life for them. But be honest now: Have you ever wondered what possessed you to sign up for the job of motherhood? STOP! DO NOT OPEN THIS BOOK UNTIL YOU RECITE THESE VOWS! I shall remember that no mother is perfect and my children will thrive because, and sometimes even in spite, of me. I shall not preach to a fellow mother who has not asked my opinion. It’s none of my damn business. I shall maintain a sense of humor about all things motherhood.

Author: Muffy Mead-ferro
Publisher: Da Capo Lifelong Books
ISBN: 0786722983
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 90

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Book Description
Parents who are fed up with the pressure to turn their children into star athletes, concert violinists, and merit scholars-all at once!-finally have an alternative: the world of Slacker Moms, where kids learn to do things for themselves and parents can cut themselves some slack; where it's perfectly all right to do less, have less, and spend less. Slacker moms say "No" to parenting philosophies that undermine parents'-and children's-ability to think for themselves. They say "Yes" to saving their money and time by opting out of the parenting competition. And they say "Hell, Yes!" to having a life of their own, knowing it makes them better parents.In this witty and insightful book, author Muffy Mead-Ferro reflects on her experience of growing up on a ranch in Wyoming, where parenting-by necessity-was more hands-off, people "made do" with what they had, and common sense and generational wisdom prevailed. We should all take her sane lead!

Author: Dena Higley
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
ISBN: 0849964008
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 250

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Book Description
Every mom has felt the need to be perfect. MOMAHOLIC is one woman’s private, dramatic, and often comical invitation to peek inside a time in her life where everything fell apart and she had to take an honest look at what she was doing right and what she’d been doing terribly wrong. With this simple discovery, her whacky family’s season of becoming unraveled found a new glue (other than her blood, sweat and tears) that would re-bond her family and unite them in a deeper and more functional way than ever before. The real life characters: A MOM who is literally the head writer of a network soap opera... at work and at home A HUSBAND who expects perfection from his kids and his wife, but who has the wisdom to know he’s being unrealistic and yet, can’t help but scratch his head in frustration as his family’s troubles seem to spiral out of his control An autistic SON A popular DAUGHTER who is suddenly pregnant An ADOPTED DAUGHTER pulled from the jungles of Vietnam with no leg below the right knee and fingers fused together An ADOPTED SON from Ethiopia, rescued from the streets at the age of 9. This is a story showing the speed with which a “normal” family can fall apart. No one dies. No one gets kidnapped. They just have to deal with each of their own issues....and then one unwanted and unplanned pregnancy. This was a church-going family whose kids were taught abstinence until marriage. With the family running around as the tornado sirens roared warnings to take cover, mother, Miss Drama, becomes the biggest mess of all and ends up finding a whole new freedom for her soul.

Author: Wade Rouse
Publisher: Crown
ISBN: 0307407489
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 236

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Book Description
When Wade Rouse—a rural, public school graduate who grew up more Hee Haw than Dynasty—was hired as the director of publicity at the prestigious Tate Academy, he quickly discovered his real job was to make a few of the very pretty, very rich, very mean mommies of the elite students happy. Enter former Tate beauty queen and sports star Katherine Isabelle Ludington—Kitsy to her friends—who went to an Ivy, married an Ivy, and made a lot of money. Now, she is Wade’s VIP volunteer and a perfectly coiffed nightmare. In between designing Louis Vuitton–inspired reunion invitations, dressing as Ronald Reagan for Halloween, and surviving surprise Botox parties, Wade tries to tame Kitsy and her pink Lilly Pulitzer–clad posse while reclaiming his self-esteem. Following a year in the life of the super rich and super spoiled, Confessions of a Prep School Mommy Handler is hilarious, heartbreaking, and deliciously catty.

Author: Karrine Steffans
Publisher: Harper Collins
ISBN: 006174784X
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 226

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Part tell-all, part cautionary tale, this emotionally charged memoir from a former video vixen nicknamed 'Superhead' goes beyond the glamour of celebrity to reveal the inner workings of the hip-hop dancer industry—from the physical and emotional abuse that's rampant in the industry, and which marked her own life—to the excessive use of drugs, sex and bling. Once the sought-after video girl, this sexy siren has helped multi-platinum artists, such as Jay-Z, R. Kelly and LL Cool J, sell millions of albums with her sensual dancing. In a word, Karrine was H-O-T. So hot that she made as much as $2500 a day in videos and was selected by well-known film director F. Gary Gray to co-star in his film, A Man Apart, starring Vin Diesel. But the film and music video sets, swanky Hollywood and New York restaurants and trysts with the celebrities featured in the pages of People and In Touch magazines only touches the surface of Karrine Steffans' life. Her journey is filled with physical abuse, rape, drug and alcohol abuse, homelessness and single motherhood—all by the age of 26. By sharing her story, Steffans hopes to shed light on an otherwise romanticised industry and help young women avoid the same pitfalls she encountered. If they're already in danger, she hopes to inspire them to find a way to dig themselves out of what she knows first-hand to be a cycle of hopelessness and despair.

Author: Rebecca Eckler
Publisher: Anchor Canada
ISBN: 0307374890
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 386

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Book Description
Rebecca Eckler is a popular newspaper columnist who lives the fabulous life and gets paid to write about it. So when a tipsy romp with her fiancé on the night of their lavish engagement party leaves her unexpectedly expecting, she is utterly at a loss. How will a woman who loves nothing more than a night out on the town sipping cocktails with her fellow party girls survive the pregnant life? Knocked Up is the witty, engaging and refreshingly frank chronicle of a modern woman’s journey into motherhood. We follow Eckler from the first trimester (a.k.a. the longest three months of her life), through the “fat months” of the second trimester, on to the "even fatter months" of the third. Flipping the pages of this Bridget-Jones-style diary, we share in Eckler’ s discovery of prenatal vitamins and nursing bras, ultrasounds and obstetricians. And we experience her growing horror at the physical symptoms of pregnancy: all-day “morning” sickness, fatigue, varicose veins, and cravings. And the weight gain, oh the weight gain. Who knew the day would come when she could no longer put on her own socks? Along for the ride is a cast of characters as comical as any met in fiction. There’s the Sexy Young Intern, a Sophia Loren look-a-like with her skinny eyes set on Eckler’s job; the glamorous friends who continue to drink Manhattans, while Eckler sips Perrier; and the Cute Single Man who knows just when she needs a carton of ice cream or a game of Scrabble. And then there’s the fiancé, living in another city, who, thanks to the miracle of long-distance phone lines, appreciates better than anybody the highs and lows of the hormonal rollercoaster pregnant Eckler is on. Lighthearted, intimate, and very funny, Knocked Up is the diary of a modern mother-to-be determined not to let pregnancy and motherhood change her life. Not. One. Little. Bit.

Author: Jenny Lee Sulpizio
Publisher: ACU Press
ISBN: 0891127399
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 195

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Book Description
She may be tough, beautiful, and practically perfect in every way, but saving the world is only easy when you're Wonder Woman. Being a mom, on the other hand? Now, that takes some serious superpowers. A lasso of truth, bulletproof wristbands, and an invisible airplane. Throw in a golden tiara, great hair, and abs made of steel and you've got a gal theoretically capable of saving the planet (and looking fabulous in the process, too, I might add). But moms aren't looking to save the world. Nope. They'd settle for well-behaved kids, a clean home, an occasional nap or two, and maybe an uninterrupted trip to the bathroom every once in a while. They'd trade in the need for perfection--the desire for acceptance--and willingly cast aside those unrealistic expectations they've placed upon themselves in their roles as mothers. Confessions of a Wonder Woman Wannabe provides the modern-day mommy with sanity-saving tips, advice, and hilarious real-life accounts that every supermom can most certainly relate to, benefit from, and appreciate. After all, the reader may not have been born with superhuman strength, but with God on her side, Jesus in her heart, and the Holy Spirit in her corner, she's more than equipped to handle the daily battles that rage before her. ""So hold on tight, girls, as we prepare to tackle this role of motherhood together: the good, the bad, (the slightly ugly), and everything in between."

Author: Romi Lassally
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101024623
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 292

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Book Description
Mothers' hilarious, outrageous, heartfelt admissions "Sometimes I lock myself in the bathroom." "I put an educational DVD on so I could have sex. It wasn't with my husband." Romi Lassally provides a judgment-free zone where women can reveal their mommy misdemeanors. From not feeling like cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night, to barking something completely inappropriate to the children, to wanting to be pawed by hands that aren't covered in jelly, the confessions pour in daily. Heartfelt and hilarious, naughty and nasty, frank and outrageous, the confessions culled together for this book represent the best-or the worst?-of those humbling hidden secrets of motherhood in all its glorious messiness as improvisation and triage. They dare to suggest that it's okay for moms to make mistakes, to have unkind thoughts, to publicly or privately embarrass themselves-and above all to be human.