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Bear v. Shark

Bear v. Shark PDF Author: Chris Bachelder
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743223705
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 266

Book Description
So it's kind of like a parlor game, then?... The question is apparently of Ancient Eastern extraction.... It seems to be a gut thing. The answer just feels right and then you come up with reasons.... Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a Shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Shark? In this brilliant satire of our media-saturated culture, the sovereign nation of Las Vegas -- the entertainment capital of the world -- is host to Bear v. Shark II. After a disappointing loss in the first matchup between the land and the sea, the bear is back with a vengeance and out for blood. All of America is obsessed with the upcoming spectacle, so tickets are hard to come by. With an essay entitled "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live," young Curtis Norman wins a national writing contest and four tickets to the event. The Normans load up their SUV and embark on a road trip to Vegas. As they head cross-country, the family is besieged by a dizzying barrage of voices: television and radio personalities, public service announcements, bear and shark pundits, Freudians, theologians, and self-published authors, in addition to the Bear v. Shark fanatics, cultists, and resisters they meet at roadside gas stations and restaurants. Overwhelmed by factoids, statistics, and ten-second debates, the Normans -- along with the rest of country -- can't seem to get their facts straight, much less figure out a way to actually communicate with one another. Sound bites and verbal tics predominate; misheard, misunderstood, and just plain mistaken information is absorbed, mangled, and regurgitated to hilarious effect; and the most inane subjects -- from the disappearance of Dutch culture to the Shakespearean bias toward the bear -- are vigorously and obsessively debated. These meaningless exchanges of misinformation leave Mr. Norman disenchanted, world-weary, and ambivalent about the impending show, but the family eventually makes it to Vegas for an apocalyptic and surprisingly emotional ending. Written in quick, commercial-like segments that mirror the media it satirizes, Chris Bachelder's debut is a fiercely funny, razor-sharp novel about the odd intersection of zealotry and trivia, about the barriers to human connection in a society that values entertainment above all else. Through a clever act of novelistic subterfuge, Bachelder makes us laugh at our penchant for absurd and useless information while drawing us into a dazzling spectacle of his own imagination.

Bear v. Shark

Bear v. Shark PDF Author: Chris Bachelder
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 0743223705
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 266

Book Description
So it's kind of like a parlor game, then?... The question is apparently of Ancient Eastern extraction.... It seems to be a gut thing. The answer just feels right and then you come up with reasons.... Given a relatively level playing field -- i.e., water deep enough so that a Shark could maneuver proficiently, but shallow enough so that a Bear could stand and operate with its characteristic dexterity -- who would win in a fight between a Bear and a Shark? In this brilliant satire of our media-saturated culture, the sovereign nation of Las Vegas -- the entertainment capital of the world -- is host to Bear v. Shark II. After a disappointing loss in the first matchup between the land and the sea, the bear is back with a vengeance and out for blood. All of America is obsessed with the upcoming spectacle, so tickets are hard to come by. With an essay entitled "Bear v. Shark: A Reason to Live," young Curtis Norman wins a national writing contest and four tickets to the event. The Normans load up their SUV and embark on a road trip to Vegas. As they head cross-country, the family is besieged by a dizzying barrage of voices: television and radio personalities, public service announcements, bear and shark pundits, Freudians, theologians, and self-published authors, in addition to the Bear v. Shark fanatics, cultists, and resisters they meet at roadside gas stations and restaurants. Overwhelmed by factoids, statistics, and ten-second debates, the Normans -- along with the rest of country -- can't seem to get their facts straight, much less figure out a way to actually communicate with one another. Sound bites and verbal tics predominate; misheard, misunderstood, and just plain mistaken information is absorbed, mangled, and regurgitated to hilarious effect; and the most inane subjects -- from the disappearance of Dutch culture to the Shakespearean bias toward the bear -- are vigorously and obsessively debated. These meaningless exchanges of misinformation leave Mr. Norman disenchanted, world-weary, and ambivalent about the impending show, but the family eventually makes it to Vegas for an apocalyptic and surprisingly emotional ending. Written in quick, commercial-like segments that mirror the media it satirizes, Chris Bachelder's debut is a fiercely funny, razor-sharp novel about the odd intersection of zealotry and trivia, about the barriers to human connection in a society that values entertainment above all else. Through a clever act of novelistic subterfuge, Bachelder makes us laugh at our penchant for absurd and useless information while drawing us into a dazzling spectacle of his own imagination.

Bear V Shark

Bear V Shark PDF Author: Chris Bachelder
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC
ISBN: 9780747559924
Category : Las Vegas (Nev.)
Languages : en
Pages : 256

Book Description
'Like Don Delillo on acid' Publishers Weekly..'Chris Bachelder's amazing novel fights the best fight there is the struggle for meaning and spirit in a world cluttered with the inane and the disposable' Michael Parker, author of Hello Down There and Towns Without Rivers

I Am the Shark

I Am the Shark PDF Author: Joan Holub
Publisher: Crown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 0525645306
Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
Languages : en
Pages : 40

Book Description
What makes the great white shark (one of) the greatest fish in the sea? FIN-d out in this hilarious fish-out-of-water story that's perfect for Shark Week and all year-round! "Don't miss this one." -School Library Journal, Starred Review Hi! I am Great White Shark, and if you get this book, you'll read all about ME--the greatest shark in the sea! Not so fast! Greenland Shark here, and as the oldest shark in this book, that makes me the greatest. Did someone say fast? I'm Mako Shark, and I'm the fastest shark in this book! Eat my bubbles! Wow, I'm Hammerhead Shark. You don't need my special eyes to see that there are lots of great sharks in this book. Sink your teeth into it now! New York Times bestselling author Joan Holub makes a splash with bestselling illustrator Laurie Keller to deliver an entertaining undersea story filled with the greatest shark facts in the ocean!

U.S.!

U.S.! PDF Author: Chris Bachelder
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
ISBN: 1582346364
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320

Book Description
An inventive new novel by the author of Bear v. Shark chronicles the serial resurrection and assassination of muckraker Upton Sinclair, who is repeatedly brought back to risk his life for the Socialist revolution, only to end up dead at the hands of those seeking fame, fortune, and American business. Original. 20,000 first printing.

Abbott Awaits

Abbott Awaits PDF Author: Chris Bachelder
Publisher: LSU Press
ISBN: 0807140201
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 192

Book Description
A quiet tour de force, Chris Bachelder's Abbott Awaits transforms the ordinary into the extraordinary, startlingly depicting the intense and often heartbreaking challenges that a vulnerable, imaginative young father faces as he lives his everyday American existence.The vexation of Abbott's pensive self-doubt comes to a head one day as he cleans vomited raspberries out of his daughter's car seat and muses: "The following propositions are both true: (A) Abbott would not, given the opportunity, change one significant element of his life, but (B) Abbott cannot stand his life." Composed of small moments of domestic wonder and terror Bachelder's novel is a charming story of misadventure, anxiety, and the every-day battles.

Killer Whale Vs. Great White Shark

Killer Whale Vs. Great White Shark PDF Author: Jerry Pallotta
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781643102023
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 32

Book Description
What would happen if a great white shark and a killer whale had a fight? This nonfiction reader compares and contrasts the two species. Students will learn about the animals' anatomies, behaviors, and more. Includes beautiful photos, charts, illustrations, and fascinating facts.

The Shark-Headed Bear Thing

The Shark-Headed Bear Thing PDF Author: Barry Hutchison
Publisher:
ISBN: 9780857632692
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Ten-year-old orphan Benjamin Blank battles monsters, rescues maidens and discovers fantastic new lands, but never quite manages to get his homework handed in on time. The first book in a hilarious new adventure series.

Shark vs. Train

Shark vs. Train PDF Author: Chris Barton
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 0316186716
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 40

Book Description
Shark VS. Train! WHO WILL WIN?! If you think Superman vs. Batman would be an exciting matchup, wait until you see Shark vs. Train. In this hilarious and wacky picture book, Shark and Train egg each other on for one competition after another, including burping, bowling, Ping Pong, piano playing, pie eating, and many more! Who do YOU think will win, Shark or Train? [star] "This is a genius concept." -- Publishers Weekly, starred review [star] "Lichtenheld's snarling shark and grimacing train are definitely ready for a fight, and his scenarios gleefully play up the absurdity. The combatants' expressions are priceless when they lose. A glum train in smoky dejection, or a bewildered, crestfallen shark? It's hard to choose; both are winners." -- Kirkus, starred review

Teddy Bear of the Year

Teddy Bear of the Year PDF Author: Vikki VanSickle
Publisher: Tundra Books
ISBN: 0735263922
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 42

Book Description
The teddy bears' picnic gets a modern twist in this warm and fuzzy picture book about a young teddy bear who learns that small acts of kindness can make a big difference. Ollie is a regular bear with a regular job. He listens to his girl's stories about her days, he snuggles her to sleep and he is there waiting when she gets home from school. Just your typical teddy bear stuff. So when he is whisked away to the annual teddy bears' picnic, he feels insignificant compared to the other bears who do daring and daunting things: sleepovers, hospital stays--even a night in the lost and found! After small talk with a regional stuffing manager, a department of cuddling official and a stitchery inspector; a stop at the snack table; and even some team building activities, it's time for the teddy bear service awards . . . and Ollie feels even more small and unimportant. But he soon learns that it's not just the big things that matter, it's the little things too. While parents will love the tongue-in-cheek office-party details, kids and parents alike will fall in love with Ollie: a sweet bear who discovers that his love for his girl makes him very special indeed.

Berlioz the Bear

Berlioz the Bear PDF Author: Jan Brett
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 0698113993
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 34

Book Description
A "Reading Rainbow" Feature Title Zum, zum, buzz.... zum, zum, buzz... What's that strange buzz coming from the double bass? Berlioz has no time to investigate, because he and his bear orchestra are due at the gala ball in the village square at eight. But Berlioz is so worried about his buzzing bass that he steers the mule and his bandwagon full of magicians into a hole in the road and gets stuck. Time is running out, and if a rooster, a cat, a billy goat, a plow horse, and an ox can't rescue the bandwagon, who can? As the suspense mounts, intricate borders reveal the village animals making their way to the square one by one. When the clock chimes eight, the animals, ready to dance, have filled the square-but there's no sign of Berlioz. Jan Brett's glorious illustrations invite the eye to linger over exquisite details and humorous nuances that enhance the story. This delightful cumulative tale is one that will be looked at again and again.