A Small Book of Grave Humor PDF Download

Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Epitaphs
Languages : en
Pages : 198

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Author: Kathleen E. Miller
Publisher: Sterling Publishing Company, Inc.
ISBN: 9781402729690
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 166

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Book Description
Laugh in the face of death! That’s what this bold, brash, and often irreverent collection of epitaphs encourages readers to do. It offers more than just the deceased’s name and dates of birth and death, plus a touching phrase in memorial. Instead, every fascinating quote presents an unexpectedly cheeky perspective on the tragic, like this one from Uniontown, New Jersey: "Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake; stepped on the gas pedal instead of the brake.” Some come from the gravestones of the famous: Bette Davis’s proudly notes that "she did it the hard way.” Each thought-provoking line makes an indelible contribution to our folklore.

Author: Allen Foster
Publisher: Gill & Macmillan Ltd
ISBN: 0717151530
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 171

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Allen Foster lives in on a farm in Enfield, Co Meath. When not tending to his cattle or walking his beloved dogs he finds the time to be a freelance journalist and researcher. He is the author of eight other books, including Foster’s Irish Oddities, Foster’s Even Odder Irish Oddities and Around the World with Citizen Train: The Sensational Adventures of the Real Phileas Fogg.

Author: Kate Carlisle
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 1101575263
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 227

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There may be grave consequences for bookbinder Brooklyn Wainwright as she attempts to solve two murders tied to one book in this novel in the New York Times bestselling Bibliophile Mystery series. Brooklyn’s chance to restore a rare first edition of Beauty and the Beast seems a fairy tale come true—until she realizes the book belonged to an old friend of hers. Ten years ago, Max Adams, a brawny renowned papermaker, fell in love with a stunning beauty, Emily, and gave her the copy of Beauty and the Beast as a symbol of their love. Soon afterward, he died in a car crash, and Brooklyn has always suspected his possessive ex-girlfriend and her jealous beau. Now she decides to find out who sold the book and return it to its rightful owner—Emily. She believes a rare book dealer can assist her, but when she arrives at his shop, she finds him murdered. Is it possible that the same couple who may have killed Max are now after his edition of Beauty and the Beast? With the help of her handsome boyfriend, Derek Stone, Brooklyn must unravel the murder plot—before she ends up in a plot herself....

Author: Jonathan Stroud
Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers
ISBN: 1484798570
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 600

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*NOW A NETFLIX SERIES* In this spine-tingling next book of the Lockwood & Co series, the ghost-hunting gang take on terrifying new challenges. Five months after the events in The Creeping Shadow, we join Lockwood, Lucy, George, Holly, and their associate Quill Kipps on a perilous night mission: they have broken into the booby-trapped Fittes Mausoleum, where the body of the legendary psychic heroine Marissa Fittes lies. Or does it? This is just one of the many questions to be answered in Book 5 of the Lockwood & Co. series. Will Lockwood ever reveal more about his family's past to Lucy? Will their trip to the Other Side leave Lucy and Lockwood forever changed? Will Penelope Fittes succeed in shutting down their agency forever? The young agents must survive attacks from foes both spectral and human before they can take on their greatest enemy in a climactic and chaotic battle. And to prevail they will have to rely on help from some surprising--and shadowy--allies. Jonathan Stroud once again delivers a rousing adventure full of danger, laughs, twists, and frights. The revelations will send readers back to Book 1 to start the series all over again. Exclusive to this paperback edition: a Lockwood & Co. short story, "The Dagger in the Desk," and an illustrated ghost guide.

Author: Jill Kargman
Publisher: Ballantine Books
ISBN: 0399594574
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 241

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Imagine if New York A-lister Nora Ephron had a love child with America's most-loved comedic scribe, David Sedaris. Their spawn would be Jill Kargman, the bestselling novelist turned satirist and star of Bravo's break-out scripted comedy, Odd Mom Out. Now Kargman shares her razor-sharp wit and backhanded wisdom in a deeply observed and outrageously funny collection of musings, lists, essays, and outrages. From the life-affirming outlook she got from her death-obsessed family (including the antithesis to her Goth aesthetic, ray of sunshine sister-in-law Drew Barrymore) to the appreciation for land (and limbs) she got from swimming with sharks off the South African coast, to the adrenaline-pumping experience that is a Gay Pride parade, Sprinkle Glitter on My Grave is a book about life, death, and everything that happens in between, that will both entertain and inspire.

Author: Wally Lamb
Publisher: Cambridge University Press
ISBN: 9780060391621
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 884

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With his stunning debut novel, She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb won the adulation of critics and readers with his mesmerizing tale of one woman's painful yet triumphant journey of self-discovery. Now, this brilliantly talented writer returns with I Know This Much Is True, a heartbreaking and poignant multigenerational saga of the reproductive bonds of destruction and the powerful force of forgiveness. A masterpiece that breathtakingly tells a story of alienation and connection, power and abuse, devastation and renewal--this novel is a contemporary retelling of an ancient Hindu myth. A proud king must confront his demons to achieve salvation. Change yourself, the myth instructs, and you will inhabit a renovated world. When you're the same brother of a schizophrenic identical twin, the tricky thing about saving yourself is the blood it leaves on your bands--the little inconvenience of the look-alike corpse at your feet. And if you're into both survival of the fittest and being your brother's keeper--if you've promised your dying mother--then say so long to sleep and hello to the middle of the night. Grab a book or a beer. Get used to Letterman's gap-toothed smile of the absurd, or the view of the bedroom ceiling, or the influence of random selection. Take it from a godless insomniac. Take it from the uncrazy twin--the guy who beat the biochemical rap. Dominick Birdsey's entire life has been compromised and constricted by anger and fear, by the paranoid schizophrenic twin brother he both deeply loves and resents, and by the past they shared with their adoptive father, Ray, a spit-and-polish ex-Navy man (the five-foot-six-inch sleeping giant who snoozed upstairs weekdays in the spare room and built submarines at night), and their long-suffering mother, Concettina, a timid woman with a harelip that made her shy and self-conscious: She holds a loose fist to her face to cover her defective mouth--her perpetual apology to the world for a birth defect over which she'd had no control. Born in the waning moments of 1949 and the opening minutes of 1950, the twins are physical mirror images who grow into separate yet connected entities: the seemingly strong and protective yet fearful Dominick, his mother's watchful "monkey"; and the seemingly weak and sweet yet noble Thomas, his mother's gentle "bunny." From childhood, Dominick fights for both separation and wholeness--and ultimately self-protection--in a house of fear dominated by Ray, a bully who abuses his power over these stepsons whose biological father is a mystery. I was still afraid of his anger but saw how he punished weakness--pounced on it. Out of self-preservation I hid my fear, Dominick confesses. As for Thomas, he just never knew how to play defense. He just didn't get it. But Dominick's talent for survival comes at an enormous cost, including the breakup of his marriage to the warm, beautiful Dessa, whom he still loves. And it will be put to the ultimate test when Thomas, a Bible-spouting zealot, commits an unthinkable act that threatens the tenuous balance of both his and Dominick's lives. To save himself, Dominick must confront not only the pain of his past but the dark secrets he has locked deep within himself, and the sins of his ancestors--a quest that will lead him beyond the confines of his blue-collar New England town to the volcanic foothills of Sicily 's Mount Etna, where his ambitious and vengefully proud grandfather and a namesake Domenico Tempesta, the sostegno del famiglia, was born. Each of the stories Ma told us about Papa reinforced the message that he was the boss, that he ruled the roost, that what he said went. Searching for answers, Dominick turns to the whispers of the dead, to the pages of his grandfather's handwritten memoir, The History of Domenico Onofrio Tempesta, a Great Man from Humble Beginnings. Rendered with touches of magic realism, Domenico's fablelike tale--in which monkeys enchant and religious statues weep--becomes the old man's confession--an unwitting legacy of contrition that reveals the truth's of Domenico's life, Dominick learns that power, wrongly used, defeats the oppressor as well as the oppressed, and now, picking through the humble shards of his deconstructed life, he will search for the courage and love to forgive, to expiate his and his ancestors' transgressions, and finally to rebuild himself beyond the haunted shadow of his twin. Set against the vivid panoply of twentieth-century America and filled with richly drawn, memorable characters, this deeply moving and thoroughly satisfying novel brings to light humanity's deepest needs and fears, our aloneness, our desire for love and acceptance, our struggle to survive at all costs. Joyous, mystical, and exquisitely written, I Know This Much Is True is an extraordinary reading experience that will leave no reader untouched.

Author: Juno Dawson
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781781126042
Category : Juvenile Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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A dark YA tale of love, loss and the supernatural from Queen of Teen Juno Dawson, collaborating for the first time with prize-winning illustrator Alex T. Smith. Since the crash, since Eliza died, Samuel can't find a way to go on. His need to see his love again is overwhelming, and so he ventures into the strange, terrifying world of Hoodoo. Samuel is about to make a pact with powers he cannot comprehend, let alone control... A chilling tale of love that reaches beyond the grave.

Author: Bill Bryson
Publisher: Anchor Canada
ISBN: 0385674562
Category : Travel
Languages : en
Pages : 354

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"I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to." And, as soon as Bill Bryson was old enough, he left. Des Moines couldn't hold him, but it did lure him back. After ten years in England he returned to the land of his youth, and drove almost 14,000 miles in search of a mythical small town called Amalgam, the kind of smiling village where the movies from his youth were set. Instead he drove through a series of horrific burgs, which he renamed Smellville, Fartville, Coleslaw, Coma, and Doldrum. At best his search led him to Anywhere, USA, a lookalike strip of gas stations, motels and hamburger outlets populated by obese and slow-witted hicks with a partiality for synthetic fibres. He discovered a continent that was doubly lost: lost to itself because he found it blighted by greed, pollution, mobile homes and television; lost to him because he had become a foreigner in his own country.

Author: Cherie Priest
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1982168900
Category : Fiction
Languages : en
Pages : 320

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"Meet Leda Foley; Devoted friend, struggling travel agent, sometime psychic. When Leda, proprietor of Foley's Flights of Fancy, books Seattle PD Grady Merritt on a flight back from Orlando, she does not expect it to change her life. When Grady watches the plane he was set to travel on catch fire while he remains safely in the airport, he seeks out Leda, and despite her rather scattershot premonitions, he enlists her help in investigating a cold case he just can't crack. But Leda has her own reasons for helping: her fiancé Tod was murdered under mysterious circumstances several years ago. Her psychic abilities weren't good then, but now she's been honing them at her favorite bar's open-mic nights, where she draws a crowd klairvoyant karaoke-singing whatever song comes to mind after holding other patrons' personal effects. With a rag-tag group of bar patrons and friends, Leda and Grady set out to catch a killer--and find that the two cases that haunt them may have more in common than they think"--