A funny thing happened on the way to the Cemetry PDF Download

Author: Carl Muller
Publisher: Penguin UK
ISBN: 9352140729
Category : Literary Collections
Languages : en
Pages : 147

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Book Description
Nineteen side-splitting stories from sri lanka to begin this chronicle of the funny things that have happened to him, muller goes back to his days as a recruit in the royal ceylon navy when the queen of england came a-visiting: the saucy sailors decide to tip her a wink! the second story takes us back to mullers childhood in anuradhapura where two visiting rat snakes turn out to be a railway linesmans grandparents there are further hilarious adventures in the navy, encounters with more snakes of different sizes and lineage, graphic descriptions of jam-making factories, and hazardous days in the gulf effortlessly, muller creates caricatures that leave you helpless with laughter as they highlight the follies and foibles of the human race.

Author: Hugh Robert MacDonald
Publisher: FriesenPress
ISBN: 1460246411
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
Ever been chased by a jealous husband swinging an axe? Or had your shoelaces and socks chewed by a cheetah while you couldn't move? What about having a doctor pass out beside you while he was delivering your child? If your answers are no, then you are lucky. If you want to find out how someone survived these wild and crazy adventures, read this book! The light-hearted autobiography of Hugh MacDonald recounts the laughable and unusual adventures and misadventures of a budding concert pianist, a minister of one of Canada's largest churches, a college professor, a radio talk-show host, a Paris tour guide, and a civil marriage commissioner. MacDonald tells of being carried down a main street in Montreal completely naked; walking a marathon with raw eggs squishing in his boots; being forced to eat beef stew, well-flavoured with cat hair; inadvertently buying 3,125 condoms in preparation for his wedding; being marooned and coming close to death in a Northern Ontario blizzard; and so much more! MacDonald winds these yarns into an interesting account of his long and varied life. This book can be read in one sitting, or you can savour it as bedtime reading, enjoying one or two funny stories each night. Either way, you can't go wrong with this humorous telling of MacDonald's life.

Author: Chandler Mason
Publisher: Page Publishing Inc
ISBN: 1684567866
Category : Business & Economics
Languages : en
Pages : 97

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Book Description
Gone are the days where real estate agents were the gatekeepers of knowledge about local real estate. In fact, potential buyers often know more about a particular property than agents as there is so much information about a property now available on the Internet. A buyer is often keyed in on a particular property and agents have to keep track of hundreds or thousands of listings that are constantly changing. So why hire a real estate agent? Simply upload some pictures and add some basic details and your incredible home will sell itself. If you are a buyer, just find the coolest home and go to the bank to get a loan. Not so fast! It has become easier to get your house online to market it to the world, however it has become increasingly difficult to keep the deal together and move it along to closing once you have a buyer. The real estate agent's job has evolved as it has become increasingly difficult getting from a fully-executed sales agreement to being handed the keys at the closing table. This book gives 123 issues that can arise once the contract is signed. No two deals are alike and there are countless issues that can happen prior to or at the closing table. You might be able to find a buyer on your own or pick out a house on your own, but chances are, getting to the closing table is another story.

Author: Patricia Coury Hartman
Publisher: Xulon Press
ISBN: 1619962446
Category : Self-acceptance
Languages : en
Pages : 326

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Book Description
Me?!? Go to church? Lightning will strike me dead! Me?!? Homeless? Jobless? How did this happen? Me?!? Give money to the church? They are just after my money! Me?!? Go back to school? Become a CPA? I'm over 40! Me?!? Tithe? I give enough! Me?!? Date? How could I ever trust a man again? Me?!? Write a book? I'm a CPA for Heaven's sake! Me?!? Witness? People will think I'm strange! Author Patricia Coury Hartman is, of all things, a CPA. She always sees the lighter side of life, even though she has been through some very deep painful times, including divorce and parenting alone. Her smile and her laughter brighten any room. Her humility shows through in her writing, as she shares transparently how she got to where she is today. She has a gift of taking the complex and making it simple. Her journey has taken her from: [Runaway to Home Again [Liberal to Conservative [Atheist to Christian [Single Mom to Married [Empty Nester [Rebellion to Contentment [Broke to Financially Stable [Bus Driver to CPA [Homeless to Homeowner [Proud to Humble [Lost to Found [Sinner to... well... Grab a cup of coffee and a box of tissues and head for the easy chair. Get ready for times of laughter, reflection and joy...

Author: Henry Arrowood
Publisher: AuthorHouse
ISBN:
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 268

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Book Description
When I Wore S's On My Collar is a collection of selected stories gleaned from the author's life journals over five decades. The stories tell about some of the unforgettable people who impacted his life during his childhood and teen years in Tennessee and the Carolinas and the thirty-one years he served as an officer in The Salvation Army in numerous appointments in the southern United States and the Caribbean. Some of the stories are funny, or at least they caused him to chuckle when the events happened and again when he wrote about them. Some have sad elements, of course, because they deal with loss, loneliness, and hurt. But mostly, they are stories of people who blessed, humored, challenged, inspired, and encouraged him and others. Some were characters, some saints, some both, many of them possessing not only the joy of the Lord but the ability to laugh at circumstances, at self, at the idiosyncrasies and imperfections in even the most pious – seeing humor in both the insignificant and the momentous occurrences of life, but doing so without taking for granted or diminishing the sacredness of things spiritual and eternal.

Author: Fred Neil
Publisher: Virtualbookworm Publishing
ISBN: 9781589392120
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 204

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Book Description
The medicinal value of humor is not a new phenomenon. During the American Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln told his Cabinet, "With the fearful strain upon me day and night, if I did not laugh, I should die. You need this medicine as much as I do." With the funniest stories and lists this side of the millennium, this book is a heaping helping of penicillin for the mind. This book will heal the stitches it keeps you in. Almost everything has been fair game for the Email laugh mavens who contributed stories to this book. Under a laugh attack are (Heaven forbid) the Bible, travel, kids, sex and sexists, the Clinton years, News at 11, body parts, medical moments, politically incorrect and the usual suspects - blondes and lawyers. Nothing new, everything borrowed and some stories decidedly blue.

Author: Corey Taylor
Publisher: Hachette+ORM
ISBN: 0306821656
Category : Music
Languages : en
Pages : 257

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Book Description
Slipknot and Stone Sour singer Corey Taylor's New York Times bestselling journey into the world of ghosts and the supernatural Corey Taylor has seen a lot of unbelievable things. However, many of his most incredible experiences might just shock you. For much of his life, the Grammy Award-winning singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour and New York Times bestselling author of Seven Deadly Sins has brushed up against the supernatural world. Those encounters impacted his own personal evolution just as much as headlining at Castle Donington in front of 100,000 people at Download Festival or debuting at #1 on the Billboard Top 200. Since growing up in Iowa, his own curiosity drew him into situations that would've sent most people screaming scared and running for the hills. He's ballsy enough to go into the darkness and deal with the consequences, though. As a result, he's seen ghosts up close and personal, whether while combing through an abandoned house in his native Iowa as a child or recording an album in the fabled Houdini Hollywood Hills mansion. He's also got the memories (and scars) to prove it. For some reason, he can't seem to shake these spectral stories, and that brings us to this little tome right here... At the same time, being an erudite, tattooed, modern Renaissance Man, he was never one for Sunday Service. Simply put, he's seen ghosts, but he hasn't seen Jesus. Taylor especially can't find a reason why people do the insane things they do in HIS name. That's where everything gets really interesting. His second book, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Heaven, compiles Taylor's most intimate, incredible, and insane moments with the supernatural. His memories are as vivid as they are vicious. As he recounts these stories, he questions the validity of religious belief systems and two-thousand-year-old dogma. As always, his rapid-fire writing, razor sharp sense of humor, unbridled honesty, and cozy anecdotes make quite the case for his point. You might end up believing him or not. That's up to you, of course. Either way, you're in for a hell of a ride.

Author: Charles A. Corr, PhD, CT
Publisher: Springer Publishing Company
ISBN: 0826110746
Category : Family & Relationships
Languages : en
Pages : 415

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Book Description
"Capturing from the start that 'Childhood is, and always has been, a vulnerable time,' we have a rich in gathering of contributed pieces that bring us into the raw, fragile arena of children traumatized by life events and behaviors..." --Illness, Crisis, and Loss "Balk and Corr again have edited a book that will set the direction of the field for yet another decade....Caregivers can count on this book...for insight and intervention." --From the Foreword by Kenneth J. Doka, PhD Professor, The Graduate School, The College of New Rochelle Author, Counseling Individuals With Life-Threatening Illness Over a decade has passed since the publication of Balk and Corr's groundbreaking Handbook of Adolescent Death and Bereavement. This new book, Adolescent Encounters With Death, Bereavement, and Coping, analyzes the challenges faced by adolescents coping with death, dying, and bereavement, and examines the new, unique circumstances and advances that have transpired over the last decade. These include: Grief and coping with HIV/AIDS Adolescents, humor, and death Technology and the Internet: coping with loss in the digital world Bereavement over the deaths of celebrities The book also explores critical, imaginative conceptual frameworks and models that have emerged on the scene, including: The dual process model for understanding loss Ideas about assumptive worlds Debates about the benefit and harm of grief counseling New research on recovery and resilience following bereavement Written from the interdisciplinary perspectives of expert sociologists, psychologists, educators, social workers, nurses, and anthropologists, this book offers a breadth and depth of insight into the complex nature of adolescent bereavement. Nurses, counselors, social workers, and educators will find this book to be an invaluable resource when they try to understand and help adolescents coping with death-related issues.

Author: Mickey McDermott
Publisher: Triumph Books
ISBN: 1623681537
Category : Biography & Autobiography
Languages : en
Pages : 265

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Book Description
A memoir by the 1940s pitching sensation looks back at a career playing for thirteen teams in four countries from the 1940s to the 1960s.

Author: Jerry Page
Publisher: iUniverse
ISBN: 1663205604
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 125

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Book Description
This book has been percolating in my subconscious for more than 70 years. It may have mellowed a little over the years, but has lost little of its relevance or bite. As one of the premiere procrastinators of this and over half of the last century, I put it off as long as I could but finally acquiesced and the final product is now in your hands. If not for political correctness, the book would be longer and possibly less relative. Jokes are multi-dimensional. For everyone they delight, they piss somebody off. It’s a zero-sum game and we each identify with one side or the other. I found myself single again about 4 years ago, and moved half way across the state. One of the main advantages of a major move is that a brand new audience is right at hand. Over the last few years, quite a few of my new acquaintances have been telling me that I should write a joke book, and here it is.