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3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners

3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners PDF Author: Dave Phillips
Publisher: Gramercy
ISBN: 9780517226810
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."

3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners

3000 Jokes, Quips, and One-liners PDF Author: Dave Phillips
Publisher: Gramercy
ISBN: 9780517226810
Category : English wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Here are hundreds of one-liners and longer jokes on subjects including animals, families, food and drink, dating, and education. This collection of clean jokes for adults (nothing off-color or offensive) is sure to prompt chuckles, giggles, and full belly laughs. A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, however, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. But there is no language where a double positive can form a negative." A student at the back called out: "Yeah, right."

3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs

3000 Jokes, 2997 Laughs PDF Author: Mike Haskins
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1911042912
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 590

Book Description
An enormous collection of over 3,000 side-splitting jokes for every occasion. Jokes range from quick-fire one-liners and observations to rambling yarns, and from the classic to the modern. This book contains quips for every occasion, from the best man’s speech to the sales conference, or just for swapping around the pub table, and it’s arranged by subject matter so it’s easy to find just the right joke. Unless you're a child, because this book is definitely for adults only! This hilarious book will appeal both to people who want to find a specific joke for a specific event, and to anyone who wants to settle down in an armchair and have a good old laugh. Jokes include: • What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador. • What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus. • What did the slug say to the snail? ‘Big Issue?’ Word count: 200,000 words

1,037 One Liner Jokes

1,037 One Liner Jokes PDF Author: Matthew Hovey
Publisher: Lulu.com
ISBN: 1387277480
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 34

Book Description
1,037 one liners that will have you roll on the floor laughing. These one liners are hilarious.

More One Liners, Jokes and Gags

More One Liners, Jokes and Gags PDF Author: Grant Tucker
Publisher: Biteback Publishing
ISBN: 184954672X
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 298

Book Description
After making us laugh out loud with 5,000 Great One-Liners, Grant Tucker goes one better with this uproarious sequel! More One-Liners is another hilarious volume of the finest quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks known to humanity. From twists on the classics to modern greats, from A-grade antics to X-rated gags, from jokes you could tell your mother to jokes about yo momma, there's something short, sweet and wickedly clever for everyone in this definitive volume.

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners

5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners PDF Author:
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1628734205
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 312

Book Description
“I’ll never forget the words my granddad said before he kicked the bucket. He said ‘Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket.’” “The key to any marriage is spontaneity. You’ve got to be ready to leave at any time.” Bringing together some of the funniest, wittiest, and most cutting jokes the world over, Grant Tucker’s volume is the definitive collection of the quips comedians call “one-liners.” Short, sweet, and undeniably clever, one-liners hold a special place in the history of comedy, and the rise of Twitter and social media seems to have ushered in a new era of this comedic art form. With most people expressing themselves in 140 characters or less, there seems no better time to celebrate Grant’s collection and the immortal one-liner. Side-splittingly funny, 5,000 Sidesplitting Jokes and One-Liners has all the puns, zingers, and witty remarks you could ever ask for—and many you’d never dream of asking for. “My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.” “A dyslexic man walks into a bra.” “Corduroy pillows: they’re making headlines!” “Promises are a bit like babies: fun to make but hard to deliver.” “Schizophrenia—together I can beat it.” “Drugs are never the answer. Unless the clue is: ‘Narcotics, five letters.’”

All Kinds of Humor

All Kinds of Humor PDF Author: Frank Verano
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
ISBN: 1479722081
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 691

Book Description
When you need something funnt for an occasion, how do you go about creating it? Most of us cannot dream up anything funny on our own. Oh sure, there are some who can create funny things spontaneously, but usually it happens in the course of a conversation and even then it is occasionally. At all events where you are called upon to speak, it pays to follow the Toastmasters' International guidelines and prepare for it in advance. When it comes to saying something funny or simply telling a joke to get your audience's attention, it also pays to have a source. In this book, there are over fifty categories of jokes, puns, and other kinds of humor than something you read from cover to cover as in nove. It might even be compared to a recipe book of a "How to" type of book. If you are using this book in a hard copy form, the Contents will help you find the type of joke you need but you might still need to scan a few of them to find the one that suits your occasion. On the other hand, if you are looking at a computer-type of screen, you can quickly go to a joke by clicking on the one-line description in the Contents.

601 of the Funniest Jokes and One Liners

601 of the Funniest Jokes and One Liners PDF Author: June Bourne
Publisher: Self Publisher
ISBN: 9781915217134
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
From the good, the bad and all the way to the cringey, this joke book is jam-packed with 601 of the best one-liners, puns, dad jokes and head shakers. There is enough witt and cheese in this book to keep you going all year so don't miss out. Old favorites, new favorites and some real stinkers - guaranteed to make you laugh out loud and great to impress your friends at a party. Be prepared for the obvious, silly, and awkward in this massive collection of the best groan-worthy jokes around, including clever quips and punny one-liners. Great for Father's Day, Christmas, birthdays, and more! There are entire chapters on sport jokes, work jokes, relationship jokes and much more! And here are a few tasters: Why is a football stadium always cold? It has lots of fans! Why do bowling pins have such a hard life? They're always getting knocked down. A man tells his doctor, "Help me. I'm addicted to Twitter!" The doctor replies, "Sorry, I'm not following you." So if you want to be laughing your socks off in no time, hit 'add to cart' now!

Comedy Comes Clean

Comedy Comes Clean PDF Author:
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
ISBN: 9780517887363
Category : American wit and humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
Including a hilarious collection of quotable, laugh-out-loud humor, this book covers everything from family life to job jokes to sports stories to pet problems. More than 50 voices ranging from the timeless--Bill Cosby and Bob Newhart--to the contemporary--Steven Wright and Jay Leno--to rising stars like Brad Stine and Robert G. Lee are featured.

Old Ones Are the Best

Old Ones Are the Best PDF Author: Mike Haskins
Publisher:
ISBN: 9781853758577
Category : Anecdotes
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description
A collection of 500 of the best jokes, one-liners and puns . It includes puns, jokes, top tens and all kinds of jokes on all sorts of subjects.

Jokes, Quotes and One-liners for Public Speakers

Jokes, Quotes and One-liners for Public Speakers PDF Author:
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category : Quotations, English
Languages : en
Pages : 0

Book Description