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Author: Brian Price Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 195
Book Description
1001 Amazing Dad Jokes! Now you can get all your dad jokes in one place with this complete book of puns, one-liners and wacky word play. Warning - these are dad jokes, full of dad humor! If you are looking for kid jokes you need to look somewhere else. This book is sure to keep your family groaning for less. Much, much less!This book has over 1000 dad jokes. A sample of the jokes included in this book: What happened when the silkworms challenged each other to a race? They ended in a tie. Son: Dad I really want to work in the moisturizer industry, what should I do? Dad: The best advice I can give you is to apply daily. Boss: How good are you at Power Point?Dad: I Excel at it.Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Dad: Word. What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the beginning of a game of checkers? "I'll be black." I told a friend I was off to California this summer. He told me to be more pacific. So I went to Hawaii instead. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them. God finally answered my prayers for winning the $50 million lottery. The answer was, "No". Did you hear about the man who robbed the pastry kitchen? I heard he was a real whisk taker. A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye? Beauty because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder. Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side? Imagine all the peepholes. I just swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof! My wife said she would stay with me if I promised to stop singing Oasis songs. I said, "Maybe. "What kind of music does a balloon listen to? Pop! My friends claim I'm the cheapest guy I know. Yeah, I'm not buying it. I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. And many many more! Get this great book of dad jokes that are at the same time punny and pretty darn awful. You could be the perfect punster at the next family get together when you spring these great dad jokes on everyone. But why wait until then? These great one-liners and wordplay jokes are perfect for the dinner table, a long car ride with children, when you need to make small talk in a business meeting, make a great toast or when you want to impress your kids in front of their friends. Dad jokes are not just for dads either, they are a great way for kids to learn about word meaning, creativity and clever context. Challenge your family to come up with their own!Lighten up everyone's day with this great book of 1001 dad jokes. Makes the perfect gift for dad's birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, first-time dads or anyone who needs a good eye roll and a chuckle.
Author: Brian Price Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 195
Book Description
1001 Amazing Dad Jokes! Now you can get all your dad jokes in one place with this complete book of puns, one-liners and wacky word play. Warning - these are dad jokes, full of dad humor! If you are looking for kid jokes you need to look somewhere else. This book is sure to keep your family groaning for less. Much, much less!This book has over 1000 dad jokes. A sample of the jokes included in this book: What happened when the silkworms challenged each other to a race? They ended in a tie. Son: Dad I really want to work in the moisturizer industry, what should I do? Dad: The best advice I can give you is to apply daily. Boss: How good are you at Power Point?Dad: I Excel at it.Boss: Was that a Microsoft Office pun? Dad: Word. What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say at the beginning of a game of checkers? "I'll be black." I told a friend I was off to California this summer. He told me to be more pacific. So I went to Hawaii instead. Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them. God finally answered my prayers for winning the $50 million lottery. The answer was, "No". Did you hear about the man who robbed the pastry kitchen? I heard he was a real whisk taker. A man is holding a bee, what is in his eye? Beauty because beauty is in the eye of the bee holder. Wouldn't it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who's on the other side? Imagine all the peepholes. I just swapped our bed for a trampoline. My wife hit the roof! My wife said she would stay with me if I promised to stop singing Oasis songs. I said, "Maybe. "What kind of music does a balloon listen to? Pop! My friends claim I'm the cheapest guy I know. Yeah, I'm not buying it. I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible. And many many more! Get this great book of dad jokes that are at the same time punny and pretty darn awful. You could be the perfect punster at the next family get together when you spring these great dad jokes on everyone. But why wait until then? These great one-liners and wordplay jokes are perfect for the dinner table, a long car ride with children, when you need to make small talk in a business meeting, make a great toast or when you want to impress your kids in front of their friends. Dad jokes are not just for dads either, they are a great way for kids to learn about word meaning, creativity and clever context. Challenge your family to come up with their own!Lighten up everyone's day with this great book of 1001 dad jokes. Makes the perfect gift for dad's birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, first-time dads or anyone who needs a good eye roll and a chuckle.
Author: M. C. Jepsen Publisher: ISBN: Category : Languages : en Pages : 103
Book Description
Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...
Author: Stefan Hill Publisher: Independently Published ISBN: 9781654212612 Category : Languages : en Pages : 196
Book Description
1001 Amazing Dad Jokes! Now you can get all your dad jokes in one place with this complete book of puns, one-liners and wacky word play. Warning - these are dad jokes, full of dad humor! If you are looking for kid jokes you need to look somewhere else. This book is sure to keep your family groaning for less. Much, much less! This book has over 1000 dad jokes. A sample of the jokes included in this book: My son begged me to make paper airplanes with him. Eventually I folded. The instructor in my self-defense class told us the most effective place to kick a man is his stomach. Personally, I think it's nuts. What do you call a man lying in front of a door. Mat. Son: Dad, what is a firefighter's least favorite letter? Dad: R, son. I hate the key E minor. It gives me the E-B-G-Bs. What's a goblin's favorite dinner? Ghoulash. Get this great book of dad jokes that are at the same time punny and pretty darn awful. You could be the perfect punster at the next family get together when you spring these great dad jokes on everyone. But why wait until then? These great one-liners and wordplay jokes are perfect for the dinner table, a long car ride with children, when you need to make small talk in a business meeting, make a great toast or when you want to impress your kids in front of their friends. Dad jokes are not just for dads either, they are a great way for kids to learn about word meaning, creativity and clever context. Challenge your family to come up with their own! Lighten up everyone's day with this great book of 1001 dad jokes. Makes the perfect gift for dad's birthday, Father's Day, Christmas, first-time dads or anyone who needs a good eye roll and a chuckle.
Author: Harry Hoover Publisher: ISBN: 9780998224138 Category : Languages : en Pages : 108
Book Description
This book is for Dads and kids everywhere who love bad jokes, really bad dad jokes, dad jokes and pranks, groaners, and one-liners. These are the more than 700 awesome dad jokes that Mom just shakes her head at, while the kids - and Dad - are howling. Inside, you'll find these gems: - Did you hear about the man who swallowed a handful of Scrabble tiles? His next trip to the bathroom spelled disaster. - What's a baker's favorite type of joke? Cinnamon puns.- What kind of shoes do plumbers wear? Clogs.- The little girl asked her mother, "did you want a little girl or a little boy?" Her mother replied, "what I wanted was a backrub."There are animal jokes, jokes about kids, Christmas and Halloween jokes, food jokes, and jokes just for kids. How about love, marriage, and divorce jokes, as well as jokes about music, work, technology, and vices? So, if you like jokes for kids, funny bad jokes, and want to help your Dad up his joke game, or you just love cheesy Dad humor, this is the book for you and your Dad.
Author: David C. Davis Publisher: ISBN: 9781637335734 Category : Languages : en Pages : 98
Book Description
Father's Day 2021 is right around the corner - snag this funny gift with 1001 Jokes for your beloved father, your family and have a Tik Tok dad joke "don't laugh" challenge with your best friends. This Dad Jokes Book includes: l Jokes Galore―The pages are packed with 1001 of wonderfully lame jokes, including pitifully corny puns, knee-slappin' knock-knocks, mic drop one-liners, and so much more. Includes knee-slappers like: ―Why don't eggs tell jokes? ―They'd crack each other up. l Giftable Fun―A collection of clean dad jokes make this the perfect present for any dad or dude. l Young and Old Safe―Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages. Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!! Put a smile on your Dads face.
Author: Gary Rowley Publisher: Createspace Independent Pub ISBN: 9781479241644 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 114
Book Description
A relentless barrage of zany, off-the-wall humour, 1001 jokes, puns and one-liners, plumbed exclusively from the innermost depths and far-out corridors of an extremely vivid imagination. You won't have encountered anything like this addictive little beauty before; not a swear word in sight, it would be equally at home in the hands of kids or grandmas, whilst still supplying sufficient ammunition to torment your mates into submission. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face, and no wonder with jokes like these: Mobile phones have been around longer than people think. I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger. I was considering investing in a Chinese distillery but decided against it. Whiskey business. I went to the waxworks but legged it when I saw this woman coming towards me, swinging a pair of giant blades. I discovered later it was Madame Two Swords. Michael Phelps and the Thorpedo: they think they're God's gift to swimming. As an ex-paratrooper, I definitely thought my bill for dental work was a bridge too far. I had a real bad accident at the saw mill. My other half says we should sue for compensation. I've just lost my job at the snuff factory. I was sacked for pinching. I walked into Leeds station and asked the route to Bristol. I said, is it Leeds to Sheffield, then Derby, Birmingham, Cheltenham Spa and Gloucester? He said, it's somewhere along those lines. Someone said there was a decent turn on at the working men's club. When I got there, it was an Arctic sea bird with a big, yellow beak. I found my hotel bathroom stuffed with chickens. It was hen-suite. Boy racers. They're the torque of the town. Every time it's nice outside, there's this American pop duo that stand on a street corner, giving money away. It's Sunny and Share.
Author: Johnny Nelson Publisher: ISBN: 9781989971109 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 160
Book Description
Show off your comedic skills with these hysterically cringe-worthy dad jokes Don't you just love seeing your kids' exasperated reactions after an expertly delivered one-liner? Isn't it incredibly satisfying to provoke eyerolls with your intentionally cheesy puns? The stereotypically silly dad joke is the hallmark of every fun dad. Utterly uncool, perplexingly amusing, and painfully funny, they're guaranteed to induce both groans and guffaws from anyone who hears them. You can count on your reliable wisecracks to liven up any gathering and cheer up any mood. But if you've been telling the same old quips for the past years, why not update your repertoire with this collection of brilliantly lame, but ridiculously funny dad jokes? In 1001 Outrageous Dad Jokes and Wisecracks for Fathers and the Entire Family, you will discover: Corny dad jokes that are so bad, they're terribly good! Over 1,000 rib-ticklers to restock your arsenal of cheesy wisecracks Groan-inducing one-liners that only dads can get away with Cleverly witty quips to ease the tension in any situation, no matter how awkward Ingenious wordplay that will get your family's brains ticking and their sides aching with laughter The pun-niest lines that are sure to elicit laughs, even from the most humorless member of the family Entertaining trivia about famous fathers - find out how much you have in common with these celebrity dads And much more. Everyone just loves to hate on dad jokes. That's what makes them so irresistible. The grimaces and giggles you get from telling them makes delivering the jokes as much fun as hearing them. No wonder dads have stubbornly kept dad jokes alive, even after their wives and children have repeatedly told them to stop. Carry on the tradition of hilariously terrible dad jokes and leave your family in stitches. If you're looking for the perfect puns that are guaranteed to garner exasperated eyerolls and unbridled laughter from the entire family, then scroll up and click the "Add to Cart" button right now.
Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai Publisher: Simon and Schuster ISBN: 1612435904 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 118
Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”
Author: Matthew Cooper Publisher: Power Pub ISBN: 9781925967043 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 138
Book Description
Dad Jokes is an absolute must-read! This book covers over 400+ of The Best Dad Jokes with such a large variety. Have your friends and family cracking up over the most awful/hilarious jokes and puns you've ever heard. Or even better, battle it out in a "Try not to laugh" challenge and watch the jokes become even funnier! What does a buffalo say to his son when he drops him off at school? "Bison." Looking for a Fathers Day Gift? Search no more, with this classic book. What to expect: Father and Son Jokes Family Jokes Marriage Jokes Work Jokes Knock Knock Jokes Alcohol Jokes Animal Jokes Food Jokes General Wordplay Jokes Crude Jokes Countless Cheesy Puns Over 400+ Jokes What are you waiting for? Scroll up and click the buy now button for a hilarious experience!
Author: Hayden Fox Publisher: Independently Published ISBN: 9781796685855 Category : Humor Languages : en Pages : 164
Book Description
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a snowman? Frostbite! 1000 Dreadfully Good Dad Jokes that will keep everyone either laughing or groaning for hours on end! Also makes for a perfect Father's Day gift. Add to Cart Now if you are ready for some dreadfully good entertainment! **Get the Kindle edition for FREE when you buy the paperback.**
Author: Brian Price
Author: Brian Price
Author: M. C. Jepsen
Author: Stefan Hill
Author: Harry Hoover
Author: David C. Davis
Author: Gary Rowley
Author: Johnny Nelson
Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Author: Matthew Cooper
Author: Hayden Fox