The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes PDF Download

Author: Gordon Hideaki Nagai
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1612435904
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 118

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Book Description
A MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, “We don’t serve minors.”

Author: M. C. Jepsen
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 103

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Book Description
Why are mountain ranges funny? Because they're hill areas. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Garbage collectors don't need formal education to get hired. They pick it up as they go along. That awkward silence that left you longing for an awkward joke - make the moment less awkward. That one coworker that rattles off knee slappers with a breeze - now you can be her! It's your turn to give the jokers in your life (friends, dads, moms, uncles, aunts, siblings, spouses, neighbors) their own embarrassingly cringey eye roll. Maybe you need a chuckle. Or your friend does. Your friend definitely does. Yep, and your dad. Father's Day is coming up. Get them a copy! From groans to trombones we've collected, created, and curated the best dad jokes. 1001 of them to be exact (technically a lot more). And... edited for content! (One of our editors had a perfect score on the GMAT writing portion and creates content professionally got your eyes rolling already). We wanted a great dad joke book and read critical reviews and thought - why not make our own! We took notes, removed duplicates, and leaned on grammar sticklers. We also tried to tone down the religion/politics/drugs/sex stuff - but kept some edge (watch for uncle jokes book). Still not ready to buy? You don't want to commit. That's cool. Click on the author link by the title and check out our Express Edition for just a dollar/euro/pound. Or, check out all of the jokes in each of four sections for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription! Wait, who are you again? So, yeah. Years ago, the genesis of the jokes... We didn't know, but a cascade of events would take us from devilishly charming unbridled singles to diaper changing, tantrum calming, homework assisting, bug killing dads (and moms). Somehow we got from cruising the late night bar/club/festival scene to towing babies/toddlers/kids to happy hours with our supportive partners before rushing home to crash (hopefully after the kids). Along the way, corny (successful!) pickup lines morphed into dad jokes as we picked up a few responsibilities, lost a little hair, and added a few pounds/kilos. Really, though, our jokes are for everyone. You don't have to be a dad (or mom) or even like kids (sometimes we don't!) to enjoy, obvs. We hope a bit of humour will brighten your days...

Author: Hugh Murmie
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 108

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Book Description
New for 2020! Easy Father's Day gift for your favorite guy! The Ultimate Dad Joke Book is jam packed with family friendly, clean and hysterical jokes that are great for everyone from your toddler to your great-grandma! Buckle up and get ready for some knee slapping, head shaking and gut busting laughter every time you flip a page. Over 500 hilarious jokes, puns and one-liners Squeaky clean, family safe jokes for kids (and adults) of all ages Great selection of time honored classics and all new jokes for 2020 Grab your copy today and channel your inner dad with some amazingly groan worthy humor bombs!

Author: Editors of Portable Press
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
ISBN: 1684120071
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 254

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Book Description
Dad’s comedy arsenal is about to get a huge upgrade . . . to the relief of everyone around him! Cue the groans. Put an end to courtesy laughs and awkward silences with the jokes in this book! From the people who brought you Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader, this is an eclectic collection of the punniest, funniest, most outrageous knee-slappers that have ever been told! At work, at home, at the game—Dad will beat them all to the punch—line, that is! He’ll be hip and humorous with totally bodacious jokes like these: Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time, too! Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit! Dad: “I wouldn’t want to be buried in this graveyard.” Kid: “Why not?” Dad: “Because I'm not dead yet!” And many more!

Author: Richard Wiseman
Publisher: Basic Books
ISBN: 0465010296
Category : Psychology
Languages : en
Pages : 338

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Book Description
For over twenty years, psychologist Professor Richard Wiseman has examined the quirky science of everyday life. In Quirkology , he navigates the backwaters of human behavior, discovering the tell-tale signs that give away a liar, the secret science behind speed-dating and personal ads, and what a person's sense of humor reveals about the innermost workings of their mind- all along paying tribute to others who have carried out similarly weird and wonderful work. Wiseman's research has involved secretly observing people as they go about their daily business, conducting unusual experiments in art exhibitions and music concerts, and even staging fake sainces in allegedly haunted buildings. With thousands of research subjects from all over the world, including enamored couples, unwitting pedestrians, and guileless dinner guests, Wiseman presents a fun, clever, and unexpected picture of the human mind.

Author: Ian Allen
Publisher: Portico
ISBN: 1909396095
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 178

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Book Description
Why did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well! Proving the age-old maxim that ‘it’s in the way that you tell them’, Dads – for the best part of forever – have always been renowned for being truly god-awful joke tellers. Whether it’s telling them at the wrong moment, misremembering the punchline or it just simply being one of those jokes that were terrible to begin with, Dads are an embarrassment to the whole family when it comes to trying to tell jokes. The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes is full to the brim with jokes that only your dear old Dad would dare say – jokes that will make you groan, sigh ... and then probably make you groan again. Dads take great pleasure in these kinds of jokes and some of them are so rubbish they actually blossom into proper rib-ticklers – but don’t tell your dad that, it’ll only encourage him!

Author:
Publisher: Ulysses Press
ISBN: 1569757097
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 146

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Book Description
A treasury of irreverent, politically incorrect, and wholly distasteful jokes represents top-selected submissions to the b3ta.com Web site, in a volume that is complemented by equally biting illustrations. Original.

Author: Dad Says Jokes
Publisher: Cassell
ISBN: 9781788401029
Category : Humor
Languages : en
Pages : 0

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Book Description
A collection of the very best jokes from the hilarious Instagram account @dadsaysjokes - so bad they're good. From the most-followed dad jokes page on Instagram, @dadsaysjokes, comes a collection of hilariously cheesy jokes that will leave your friends and family laughing and groaning in equal measure. This is the perfect gift for dads who want to expand their repertoire and anyone who fancies reminiscing about a childhood full of these no-nonsense 'bad' puns. Here are a couple of tasters: Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose. Q: Are you today's date? A: Cuz you're 10/10.

Author: Jim Chuckles
Publisher:
ISBN:
Category :
Languages : en
Pages : 166

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Book Description
Cringe-worthy, corny and ABSOLUTELY hilarious! Dads everywhere have been known to let out a wisecrack that sends embarrassed kids scrambling for the door. The best dad jokes get a laugh from empathizing adults and groans from kids. Here are 1,001 crazy dad jokes - from corny quips to witty one-liners to nerdy puns. This is the ultimate handbook for wise-cracking dads to expand their repertoire. These clean dad jokes are great for kids too. This book is the perfect gift for dad to brush up on his compendium of corniness. Everyone can benefit from the light-hearted humor found in this dad joke book.

Author: Michael Hodgin
Publisher: Zondervan
ISBN: 0310871247
Category : Religion
Languages : en
Pages : 404

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Book Description
Experienced speakers know the value of humor for adding punch to their point and muscle to their message. That's why 1001 More Humorous Illustrations for Public Speaking belongs in every pastor's and speaker's library -- including yours! Like its rib-tickling predecessor, 1001 Humorous Illustrations for Public Speaking, this volume is a gold mine of one-liners, jokes, and humorous anecdotes for almost any situation or subject. Pick your topic: Attitudes, Evangelism, Romance, Weddings . . . you'll find what you're looking for, conveniently alphabetized, numbered, and indexed for instant referencing. There's even a space for you to record the times and places you use each illustration, so no one will hear you tell the same joke twice. Most of these humorous gems have already been tested by preachers and other speakers. And the huge variety ensures you'll find something to tickle any congregation's funny bone -- and grab its attention.